Line in the Sand Chapter 8, an el tigre fanfic

I like the chapter, I think it advances an important plot piece and reveals something about the nature of M. But at the same time, something feels off about it. I'd like you, the readers, to tell me if this chapter is fine as is, or should be redone, or at least modified. I always appreciate the feedback I get after each chapter, and constructive criticism is readily embraced.

If fault is found, please highlight which section you don't like (and by highlight I mean inform). I don't normally put disclaimers with instructions, but just today I met someone who literally printed out a document and highlighted certain sentences for me to see. Nice guy, though.

Chapter 8, Move to Destroy

Unknown Location, Thursday, 9:00 AM

"Reports are coming in that the Golden Eagle Twins are returning from a world tour of crime fighting! After their zeppelin was sighted over Cuba, Miracle City officials were all asking the questions that the people of Miracle City had shouted. Can we be saved?"

That was yesterday's news. M tapped a key, changing to a report from just this morning.

"We are here now with the legendary Golden Eagle Twins! Hola Twins! How are you doing?"

"Better than you, apparently."

There was silence, but the vacuum was filled when Carla spoke up. "Carlito, be nice. Things are hard for them right now."

"Right! Which is why we, the Golden Eagle Twins, have returned to our favorite city!"

"We will stamp out this crime wave that has infested you!"

The feed was cut once the crowd started going wild. What sheep they were, believing a pair of children could save them. Miracle City has grown much too dependent on the so called heroes of the world. M swiveled around in his chair.

"What do you think about that?"

Voltura sat on the opposite end of the small control room. She seemed quite content with picking at her nails. "I don't see why you're asking me."

"Maybe, and see if you can follow me here, I want an opinion," he said, actively pausing long enough to get her attention, "from my new lieutenant."

She narrowed her eyes at this. "What?"

"I think you heard right. I need an enforcer, someone who can keep order on the field. Missions are going to be getting… dicey. Am I wrong to believe that you are such a person?"

"You are wrong to assume that I am a fool! Bribery! I honestly thought better of you!"

Voltura stood to leave, turning toward the door in a huff. But when she took the handle, she was halted by his hand over hers. His touch was uncomfortable… she wanted it to end. He stood just beside her now, but the most she could do was look out of the corner of her eye. The pressure he exuded, not just physically but mentally, was not pleasant for her.

"It's not bribery… it's not even a favor. We both know you don't need a favor. What you need, or at last severely want, is more power. Isn't that what we all desire? All I want in return is someone I can trust."

"You're a fool if you think you can trust me," she hissed, trying to take back her hand. "Let me go."

"… Fine."

Her hand was released, and she rubbed it idly as he backed away into the shadow, lit only by the blue light of his computer screen. Voltura continued to stare at the door handle. It should be easy to leave now… it should be.

"Is it not enough to be a lieutenant? Do you want… more?"

"You sound like…" she whispered, not wanting to say the name that came to her mind. She was a villain, cold and cruel, but there are some evils you just don't invoke. Some demons you don't name.

"Yes, I get that a lot. Well, if you aren't prepared for a position of power in this organization, that's fine. But please, do contact your family. I have a mission of the utmost importance. And it's the sort that will make you rich. … Richer."

She pulled the door open and beat a hasty retreat into the hall, never looking back, only nodding in affirmation before disappearing from his sight. After a time, M pulled the door shut, blocking the dark hallway from the light of his computer screens. He sat down and mused quietly to himself.

"That went well."

On the screen sat a display of heroes and villains, chess pieces to his scheme. The cursor rolled over the first of the twins, the next target in the campaign. Such a brilliant plan.

Miracle City High School, 12:13 PM

Lunch was quiet for them. Relatively so, anyway; you can't really have silence in a space filled with some three hundred people. But Manny and Frida were rarely this quiet. They'd talk, they'd laugh, and they'd share stories and plan mischief. But one would have to wait many a week to see the friends not do any of the above. They both knew something was bothering the other. Manny was sure that by now Frida had learned of him dating her nemesis. And Frida seemed apprehensive about… he had no idea. She didn't either, really. Maybe it was his anxiety bleeding over, making her feel nervous too. They would occasionally trade glances, looking away whenever eye contact was made.

"… Do you wanna' talk about it?"

"What?" Manny turned and looked at her. She was staring off into the crowd, or space, or whatever there was to see. "Talk about what?"

"Whatever's bothering you." She looked at him now. His eyes met hers again, but this time they didn't look away. Concern, or curiosity, or some combination, forbade it.

"Am I that transparent?"

"Nah… it's just that when this happens," she said waving her hand back and forth, "this awkward silence thing, it means something's wrong. So, wanna' talk?"

He pushed the food around his plate. It wasn't satisfying him at all, the eating thing. Playing with it seemed far more productive. At least that stopped him from dealing with this.

"Whatever… hey, I only got a little homework so far. We could hang out tonight. Arcade?"

"… Maybe…"

Manny sighed and rested his forehead on his hand, glancing off toward the table at the far end of courtyard. He saw her there, and he smiled. Zoe, on the other hand, was having an exceedingly energetic day. Vitalized by her own blossoming emotions, she smiled and laughed with Diego. She was so much more noticeable when she was happy… perhaps even more attractive.

"So, any reason you're looking at her like that?"

"Because she's," he stopped mid-sentence, struggling to change it at the last second. "Because she's distracting me. I'm spacing out, and she's right there."

Silence penetrated their conversation again. He was certain she saw through his lie. But that she chose not to pursue it further was something of a relief to him. Combined with the absence of a dejected, disappointed, or angry look, it seemed Manny Rivera was in the clear. Zoe Aves, not so much. Diego was happy that she was happy, but only on the outside. Inside he was angry. Inside he was jealous. He wanted what she had, on some level. He also didn't want to express that for fear of the countless repercussions.

"So," Zoe began, "what did you do last night?"

"Homework…"

"Homework, eh?

"Yes," he said with a false smile, "my homework. It was a, uh, boring night."

"You know, I can tell when you're lying." She reached over and tapped Diego's nose with a single finger, taunting him with her touch.

"You can?"

"Yes. But I won't tell you how unless you share."

He sighed. How do women do that? Just the same, he related his story of the night before. His ruse, as brilliant as it was, resulted in him doing all of Frida's work. Work he had to do all over again for HIS assignments. But, on the bright side…

"You're going to do it again?" she asked while snickering.

"Yes I am! Why are you laughing?"

"Heh, no reason."

"Great… now how could you tell I was lying?"

"It was a gamble. I didn't know for sure."

Diego sat dumbfounded. Such trickery. He found himself once more caught between Frida and Zoe, stuck in the precarious position of who to pursue. And like each time before, this would not have a peaceful resolution. His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of Zoe's personal communicator. That damn thing was always going off, breaking trains of thought, disrupting normal goings on. What was worse was the fact that Zoe ALWAYS had to respond to her stupid watch. This time was no different. She excused herself and disappeared from sight and sound. Diego could understand withdrawing from the noise of the lunch yard, but not vanishing altogether. Wait… did she actually excuse herself from the table?

"What is it?"

"Don't be rude, young lady. You're at lunch now?"

"… Yes."

"Good. We're needed for a mission after school. High stakes."

"Does… does it have to be today? I was hoping to-."

"You were hoping what?"

In the background Zoe overheard another voice, her grandmother's. "She was hoping to go out with boy again."

"A boy?! What boy?!"

"I-it doesn't matter! I'll be there!"

Zoe turned the communicator off and slumped against the pillar blocking her from view. Her good mood was spoiled. She slid down the cold support until she was sitting, knowing full well the trouble she'd be in later the second the communicator went off again.

Rivera Estate, 3:05 PM

Manny, though not expressing it, was happy all the while as he walked home. But it was obvious to his Grandpapi that he was in good spirits. And normally this sort of happiness has but one source.

"You meet a girl."

Manny jumped when he heard Grandpapi speak. As the old villain emerged from the shadows, he wore a slick smile and raised an eyebrow, eager to hear that he was right. Though the silence said it all, Manny found himself wanting to respond anyway.

"Yeah, I did. … Grandpapi, where have you been? I haven't seen you in like, two days."

"Oh, well," he muttered as he held a heavy golden artifact behind his back, "nowhere special. Certainly not Holland. Why would I go to Holland?"

"Uh-huuuuuh… will the news say something different?"

"… They cannot prove anything."

Manny laughed. Grandpapi, despite his advancing years, would not let go of his pastime of thievery. But you would certainly think that by now the man would be better at lying.

"Enough about priceless treasures and land below sea level. Tell me about the girl."

"I really like her, Grandpapi," he began following him into his room. "And I don't even have to show off my Tigre powers to get her to like me."

"Oh, so she like you back, eh?"

Manny smiled wider this time, looking away.

"I see… so, have you told her yet?"

"No… I was gonna' do it today, after the third date. But, uh, I really have no idea what I'm gonna' do. I mean… what did you do with Grandmami when you went out with her?"

"Well, Manny," he replied slowly, "women are not like men. They like silly things, like flowers and puppies. But what REALLY gets them is the sunset. Your grandmami was just like that, and your girl is probably the same way. So what I did is both brilliant and so stupid that anyone could do it…"

Jewelry Shop, Center of Town, 3:40 PM

For a time, it seemed as though Miracle City would go a day without crime, without mayhem. Hell, without fear. That hope was shattered. The people inside the jewelry shop were unlucky enough to be in the way of a heist. El Oso crashed through the wall, much as he always does, laughing wildly as he stomped his way to the head jeweler.

"You know why I'm here, man! All of them, now!"

The clerk was compliant. After all, El Oso was strong enough to take just about any hero in hand to hand and win. Tearing off a jeweler's arms would be similar to eating pudding without teeth. But it wasn't the heist that was going to be big news tonight. Of course, the Golden Eagle Twins wouldn't really know that for another ten minutes or so. They drew closer to the nearest crime in their zeppelin, which, coincidentally, was Oso's robbery. Once overhead, they fluttered out, flying lower until Oso could no longer ignore their presence.

"Halt, criminal!" shouted Carla as they dropped to the ground. The twins stood smiling, expecting their opponent to just surrender as they always did. No one ever messed with the twins. They were just too powerful.

"Halt yourself, man!"

"Cool, he's resisting arrest." Carlito smirked, popping his knuckles. "It's been a long time since I've gotten any exercise."

"Then you're gonna' get the work out of your lives, man!"

As the exchange of threats proceeded on the street, on a nearby building stood the waiting Flock of Fury. Voltura watched eagerly, waiting for a mark, a chance, anything. Her laser was at the ready, eager for combat. Cuervo was not. And Lady Gobbler sensed this. She approached her granddaughter slowly, alerting the villain with the clank of her cane-like weapon.

"What's wrong, mija?"

Cuervo remained quiet, staring at the roof on which they stood. She felt worried for some reason. "It's nothing."

"If it was nothing you wouldn't be sad."

"… Grandmami…"

"Alright, that's our mark," Voltura said as she turned, "time to end the Twins once and for all!"

There was a delay between the time that Voltura took flight and the time at which Cuervo and Gobbler followed suit. That hesitation didn't go unnoticed, and Voltura took note of it. For now, she'd let it go. Meanwhile, the Golden Eagle Twins were making fairly short work of El Oso, who was here solely as the bait for the attack. When the Twins took note of the approaching villains, they launched themselves into the air. Oso climbed to his feet, and stumbling about managed to collect a good deal of the jewels he had plundered. M had made it clear that money was indeed an objective here.

"The Flock of Fury… we haven't seen you since-."

Carla was interrupted by a blast of green energy. She swerved to the side just in time to avoid getting shot through the chest. Slightly outraged at the haste of the attack, she turned her gaze to Voltura.

"Hey! I was in the middle of something!"

"Tough."

Looking up to find the one who said that, Carla was met by a strong kick to the head as Cuervo closed the gap and struck hard. Carlito was, at the time, busy gracefully avoiding Lady Gobbler's attacks. Seeing his sister fall, though, he dived sharply to catch her and stabilize her. Carla shook her head to dispel the dizziness that plagued her.

"They're playing dirty today…"

"Yep. Guess we'll just have to return the favor."

"Let's!"

The Twins took wing once more, flying hard toward the Flock above. As they drew in close, fists glowing with golden light, they separated and came at the villains in a pincer attack. The attack failed, but it was not their only measure of offense. Sweeping back around, they managed to catch Voltura off guard, sending her spiraling to the street just below from the impact. Instead of reforming rank, though, the remaining Flock members separated. Lady Gobbler descended to help her stunned daughter, while Black Cuervo held her position, firing bursts of energy at the Twins. She retreated higher and higher as they pursued her, preparing to attack again. It seemed inevitable that Cuervo would be in an inescapable position; once she was atop the Golden Eagle Zeppelin she retreated across its surface, firing blindly at the Twins as she ran. Her reason for this was not apparent at first.

"Give it up, Black Cuervo!"

"We've got you outnumbered!"

Cuervo stopped and turned, smiling evilly behind her visor. "No… you've got yourselves outnumbered."

In the distance, if one were looking through a pair of binoculars, one might be able to pick out along the rooftops a villain equipped with robotic battle armor. Senor Siniestro, aiming a particularly nasty rifle at the zeppelin, stared through an electronic scope, keeping an eye on the target.

"I have them in my sight, partner!"

"Good… fire!"

The sound of a distant, very powerful gun shot caught the attention of the Twins. As they looked for the source of the sound, Cuervo flew forward. The zeppelin rocked with an impact, and a fiery explosion followed. It quickly started burning away at the vulnerable structure of the air ship. The Twins didn't have time to react to the attack, or to Cuervo's plan; tying a line to both siblings' arms, she flew to the head of the ship and pierced the metal eagle head with a steel anchor, binding them to the burning vessel. With a wicked, piercing laugh, Black Cuervo jumped off the quickly falling zeppelin, flying off into the distance. Screaming as they found themselves unable to escape this horrible trap, Carla and Carlito had little choice but to join the zeppelin in fiery oblivion.