Author's Notes: The question was asked in a review how many more chapters will there be in this story. The truth is I have no idea. I would think probably another five to ten but no guarantees. It all depends on the direction the story takes. I hope you continue to enjoy. There are some dark moments in this chapter so be warned and don't kill me before you get to the end.
Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.
Attack
Chapter 11
Flack waited almost impatiently as the elevator made it's way to the floor Danny's room was located on. He wasn't sure if he'd be allowed to see his friend but he had to try. His conversation with Polly at the pharmacy earlier had raised more questions than answers in his mind and he hoped Danny could supply them. He was pretty well versed in the normal hospital visiting hours having been both patient and visitor over the years but he knew that the psych unit that currently housed his best friend operated under different rules. Mac had been allowed to see Danny the night before so he hoped he'd be able to convince them to let him have at least a few minutes. His excuse would be that it was police business but the more honest truth was that he was concerned about his friend. He needed to see for himself that Danny was okay. He hadn't been okay the day before and that had scared Flack more than he cared to say.
The elevator doors slid open and Flack stepped out into the corridor. He was rehearsing what he'd say to the nurse at the desk when he saw a small female came tearing down the hall in a blind run. His first impulse was that a patient was trying to escape and he wondered if he should intervene if she came closer. It took him more than a second to realize that it wasn't a patient but Lindsay and that she was upset. He set his feet firmly so that when she ran into him he could absorb the shock and close his arms protectively around her. He wasn't sure if she recognized him or not but she didn't fight against him. He towered over her petite frame and he easily glanced over head to see Mac and Dr. Peterson emerge from a room that he presumed was probably Danny's. He frowned, wondering what could have prompted Lindsay's sudden distress. The look on Mac's face didn't give any indication of the problem but appeared relieved and grateful that he was there for her.
"Lindsay?" He kept his tone extremely gentle and quiet, hoping a calm demeanor would affect the same response from her.
"Horrible…Mac….Danny…trusted…horrible." Her random words made no sense to Flack but it was more than obvious that whatever had happened in Danny's room had shaken her to the core. It was too much for her; her sobs and broken speech warring with her attempts to breath choking her. He'd spent a couple of summers in college working as a lifeguard and in that capacity had fished more than a few swimmers from the pool after a near drowning. Even with his training, it had been scary listening to them struggle to breathe amidst painful wracking coughs, knowing there was little he could do until they were able to catch their breath and dispel the water from their lungs. He felt the same way right now with Lindsay, only worse because he knew from experience how painful such coughs could be with busted ribs.
He wanted to know what had happened but that was going to be impossible until he could get her to calm down enough to catch her breath. Seeing a cart of fresh linens nearby, he reached out and snagged a folded blanket and pressed it to her stomach as a brace against the coughs. Her knees buckled slightly and he knew she was close to hyperventilating. He tightened his hold on her. There was a small waiting room off to the side that appeared empty but had comfortable looking seats. He led her to them and sat beside her, trying to remember everything he'd been taught about handling someone in her current condition.
Dr. Peterson could tell Mac was blaming himself for the scene that had just transpired. It had been obvious to him from even before he met the man that he was more than just a boss to his employees. Here was a man that considered the people who worked under him as friends, maybe even family. He could see the pain on Mac's face and knew the detective was feeling helpless in this moment.
"I could giver her a sedative as well. Just a little something to help calm her down a little."
Mac shook his head, her words of recrimination still stinging in his head. She'd accused him of betraying Danny's trust by not warning him what was happening. He wanted to ease her suffering but he'd had enough of playing God with his friends' lives for the night. "She's had very little control over anything that's happened since this all began. At the very least she should be allowed to express the emotions she's feeling without interference. If she feels she needs something, she'll ask for it. Until then, no."
Dr. Peterson frowned. "I'm all for people venting their emotions but in a healthy way. What I'm seeing right now isn't healthy for her. She can't catch her breath and I can't even imagine the pain she's feeling right now."
"Yeah, she's in pain and I don't think it's all physical." Mac admitted. "She feels like I let Danny down and maybe she's right. I was so caught up in proving his innocence that maybe I didn't stop to consider the consequences of what I was doing."
"You don't strike me as a man accustomed to having second doubts. Yeah, it was a bad scene but you wouldn't have done it without a good reason. You weren't trying to hurt either one of them. Once she's able to calm down and think clearly, she'll realize that."
Mac wasn't worried about whether she'd realized he'd been doing his job or not; he was worried about whether she'd ever forgive him for doing such a good job at it. He only hoped Flack was having success in calming her down.
In the waiting room, Flack was pretty sure his reassurances were falling on deaf ears. In fact he still wasn't sure if she knew he was there. There was no doubt in his mind that she was hyperventilating and while he'd had to work with witnesses at horrific crime scenes and managed to calm them down, it was completely different when it was a friend.
"Can't….breathe." Lindsay warned.
He rubbed her back. "That's because you're hyperventilating. You gotta slow your breathing down. I'm going to start counting and I want you to breath in on the numbers one and five and exhale on three." He slowly started counting up to five and then back down to one. It took almost ten full repetitions before Lindsay was able to match the rhythm Flack was asking of her but once she did her breathing gradually slowed and the sobs quieted. Even after the worst had passed and she was leaning heavily against him crying softly, he didn't press her to tell him what had happened. He didn't want to chance sending her right back into hysterics.
Time passed - he wasn't sure how much because his watch was behind Lindsay's back - and with agonizing slowness she was calming down. He continued his slow count up to five and then back down to one to help her maintain a good breathing rate but his brain was working over time trying to figure out what could have happened to have upset her in the first place. She'd obviously been in Danny's room and whatever had happened to upset her had happened there.
"Why did he do it?" Lindsay whispered softly into his shirt that was damp through with her tears.
Flack's heart broke for the young woman. After everything that had happened between the couple that should have been, Flack knew it was only a matter of time before Lindsay, no matter how strongly she wanted to believe in Danny, started to question what had happened. "I don't know, Linds. So much of this has me scratching my head but there's one thing I'm sure of. There's no way Danny in his right mind would ever willingly hurt you."
"Not Danny. Mac."
Now, Flack was even more confused. What had Mac done? Though they had all had their moments of doubt about Danny's innocence; well, all but maybe Lindsay, Mac had been working overtime trying to find anything they had missed that would protect Danny's freedom and his job. Adam had dropped off a picture earlier and had intimated that the woman in the photograph may have played an integral role in what had happened in the diner. Flack hadn't recognized her but if she was responsible for this current nightmare, then Flack was determined to move heaven and earth to find her. "Help me out here. I don't know what you're talking about, Lindsay."
Haltingly, Lindsay began to explain what had happened in Danny's room. About mid way through the story, he had to stop her and redirect her breathing because she was in danger of once more hyperventilating. Finally, he had the whole picture. It wasn't a pretty one. No wonder she was so upset. What could Mac have been thinking? Flack shook his head; he knew exactly what Mac had been thinking. The same thing Flack had been thinking since he arrived at the diner to find what had taken place.
"Lindsay, I'm sorry." Suddenly Mac was there as well, kneeling in front of them. "Adam discovered on the video that Danny was sprayed with something just before he attacked yesterday. He had a theory about what it could have been and I had to verify it. The only way I could irrefutably prove the theory was with a blind test. I'm not proud of what I did but at least now we can say without a doubt that Danny wasn't responsible for his actions yesterday. I know it might not seem like it but I agonized over this decision. I didn't want to hurt either you or Danny but I less want Danny to lose his job or his freedom because of something he couldn't control."
Lindsay's accusatory glare cut right through him. "How many more times does Danny have to be drugged unknowingly? I don't care what any of you think, he didn't take those steroids knowingly. Now you say he was sprayed in the diner with another drug and then you make him inhale the same drug tonight. And in response to that Dr. Peterson injects him with yet another drug? When does it all end?"
Flack tightened his hold on Lindsay although she seemed at least marginally calmer than she was earlier. "So does this clear Danny?"
"Of the attack at least." Mac admitted. Lindsay was still looking daggers at him. He sighed and looked at Flack. "You okay here for a few more minutes? I should call Sinclair and give him the update. He was accusing me earlier of not keeping him informed of what was going on. This is one call I'm more than happy to make."
Flack nodded and the head of the crime lab disappeared again. "Can I ask you something, Monroe?"
She nodded almost wearily.
"I've heard all about those reconstructions you like to do; I've even got suckered into a couple of them in the last year. Why do you get so excited about them?"
Lindsay shrugged, not sure where the question was coming from. "Ever put together a puzzle?"
Don nodded. "Not lately but yeah, my sister and I used to spend hours putting them together. I remember once, we'd spent about three weeks on one puzzle only to discover at the very end that there were two pieces missing. I was so mad."
"Sometimes a crime can be the same way. You've spent hours working on it and you get to the point that you believe there's a piece missing. Without it, there's no way we'll catch the perp responsible for committing the crime. Sometimes that reconstruction ends up being that missing piece, you just have to get it turned just right."
"I'm not saying I agree with Mac's way of turning that puzzle piece but isn't what he did tonight pretty much the same thing you do with your reconstructions? I'm not saying you can't be mad at him; what he did sucked a big one but maybe he didn't mean to be as cruel as you've decided he is."
He was almost afraid that she was going to push him away but she didn't. Instead she seemed to be mulling over his words. "I'm glad Danny was proven innocent but there should have been a way that wouldn't hurt him."
"I don't think he was hurt, Lindsay. He didn't have any memory of the attack. Maybe this spray causes a temporary loss of memory."
Lindsay rose unsteadily and walked over to look out the window into the New York skyline. "He didn't remember hurting me but it didn't stop him from knowing something was wrong and being upset. What happens later tonight when the sedative wears off and he wakes up knowing something happened but not knowing what? Do you think the nurses or Dr. Peterson are going to be willing to explain it to him?"
"What if I see if they'll let me stay here tonight so I can be here when he wakes up? I'll fill in the gaps for him." Flack offered without hesitation.
Slowly Lindsay turned to look at him, her expression hopeful. "You'd do that?"
He nodded. "I don't have anything better to do tonight." It wasn't exactly the truth. He'd planned on stopping and picking up a couple of sandwiches after he left the hospital to take to the precinct to share with Jess; a sort of thank-you for being there for him the night before. But as much as he wanted to spend the time with Jess, it didn't seem as important as being here. "Danny's my friend. I want to be here for him."
He could almost feel the relief radiating off her in waves, even though she was now across the room from him. He was glad he'd made the offer and also glad he hadn't called Jess at work to tell her of his plans. Though he didn't doubt she would whole heartedly support his plan even if she had known.
"You okay here for a moment? I'll go clear it with Dr. Peterson." He waited until she nodded before leaving the waiting room. He didn't see either Mac or the doctor but a quick check at the nurse's station led him down the hallway to the office shared by the doctor's on call. He stopped just outside the door when he heard Dr. Peterson questioning Mac.
"Have you convinced Detective Monroe to talk to a professional yet?"
Flack frowned but felt better when he heard Mac's answer. "Haven't broached the subject yet."
"With all due respect, Detective Taylor; I can somewhat understand your earlier reluctance to sedate her without her consent but what could be the harm in suggesting she talk to a therapist about what happened? I don't care how strong she is; nobody can go through what happened to her without it causing some scars. The fact that she just witnessed Detective Messer once more revert to the monster he became yesterday without any regard to her own safety concerns me even more than her lack of defensive wounds do. As her supervisor and her friend, I would think her disregard for her own well-being would be of utmost concern for you as well."
Flack couldn't stay silent any longer. He stepped around the corner into the office. "Is that what you think just happened? You think she was just upset about what happened to Danny?" The two men seated in the officer turned to look at him, surprised to see him there. He pressed on. "I guess I could see where the doc here doesn't know Monroe well enough but come on Mac, surely you saw through to what she wasn't saying."
Mac nodded wearily. It was what was bothering him more than anything. He wasn't sure if it came from being the youngest of six with five brothers to tag along after or a remnant of the trauma she seemed so determined not to drag with her to New York but Lindsay Monroe was not one to admit to any weakness or fear. She had channeled all of her anger and tears into her perceived attack against Danny's trust to avoid admitting just how scared she'd been. She couldn't or wouldn't admit that in that instant in Danny's room, she'd been transported back to the diner when everything she'd held as scared truth about the man she worked with and, if everyone at the lab was correct in their suppositions, loved had disappeared in a flash. It shamed Mac because while he had considered the implications of what he could be doing to Danny and rationalized those doubts that he was doing it for Danny's own good; he hadn't really considered how Lindsay would react. Instead, he'd counted on her being strong enough and vested enough in Danny's innocence to handle it. He'd been wrong and in the end had caused someone he considered like a daughter immeasurable pain. "She okay now?"
Flack shrugged. "Hard to tell with her, but for now, yeah. I think so. Wouldn't want to be in her dreams tonight though. Can't imagine it's going to be all sunshine and wheat fields. She wants me to stay here with Danny tonight. Wants a friendly face that Danny knows to be here when he wakes up to explain what happened."
Mac frowned. "He won't remember it any more than he remembered the attack."
Flack nodded, having just used the same argument with Lindsay. "But he was aware of the missing time and that something had happened to cause him to be cuffed to the stretcher. I hope he doesn't remember it but what harm could it do to be here just in case?"
Dr. Peterson rose from his desk. "I'll let the nurses know it's okay. Please, consider what I said about Detective Monroe. I know that the two of you know her much better than I do but I do know how the mind works. If you think she's suppressing her own emotions behind her concern for her partner, then how is she going to recover. Whether she doesn't want to appear weak or if she feels that admitting she was frightened of him is a betrayal of their friendship, she needs an outlet for those thoughts. If she's not comfortable expressing them to her friends, then perhaps she would a professional."
Mac stood as well. "I'll talk to her but it'll be her decision." He hoped it was a promise he could make her as well but he knew Sinclair was still unhappy with the situation and might insist otherwise. He could only hope she'd see reason and he wouldn't have to make it a command.
The three men made their way back to the waiting room and were surprised to find it empty. Flack looked around confused. "Where's Lindsay? I swear she was right here not five minutes ago."
- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -
Lindsay Monroe took a step closer to the bed that held the sedated man she called both partner and friend. After Flack had left, she had to see Danny again for herself. She told herself and the nurse who let her in that she just wanted to make sure he was okay but it wasn't the complete truth and a small corner of her mind knew it. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, seeing Danny instantly transform from the man who had captured her heart to some unrecognizable monster capable of inflicting such pain had shaken her to her very core.
Too much was going on yesterday when it had happened at the diner. She'd been in too much pain to even give it much consideration and even after she was safe she'd been too busy trying to convince everyone that she was okay and that Danny shouldn't be blamed to dwell on or even acknowledge her fear. Seeing it again today in the safety of this room, knowing instinctively even in her anger that Mac and Dr. Peterson wouldn't let Danny hurt her had opened a floodgate of emotion that she wasn't sure how to close.
Her hands were shaking and her knees threatened to buckle under her weight as she drew closer. Finally she knelt next to the mattress. She'd watched him sleep before. Several times in fact when they were hanging out after a long day of work watching a movie or some sort of sporting event on TV and he'd dose off. Many times she'd eased his glasses off so he would be more comfortable, almost giggling at how boyish he seemed in his sleep. Now, in this medicated sleep, he didn't resemble anything like a little boy. The sedative had taken the harshest edge of the drugged reaction but there was still a hardness to his expression that suggested had he been conscious he would have still been a dangerous person. It broke her heart to see him that way. She would have thought she'd cried all the moisture out of her body earlier but a couple of leftover tears still made the trek down her cheeks.
"Oh, Danny. Why? Why would someone do this to you? To us?" Lindsay lowered her head to the mattress, the lack of good sleep the night before, the continued lethargy caused by the painkillers, and the emotional upheaval of the last hour catching up with her.
Suddenly a hand was gripping her hair tightly, jerking her head backward. She stifled a cry as she looked up to see that Danny had awakened. The expression on his face was just as murderous as it had been the day before. The grip he had on the back of her head threatened to pull her hair out by its roots. Once more tears filled her eyes but these were strictly from pain.
"Bitch. Can't get enough, can you?"
Surely the camera was picking this up. Lindsay consoled herself with. Any minute doctors, nurses, probably even Mac and Flack would be in to help her. In the meantime, she had to do what she could to talk Danny out of this rage he once more found himself in.
"Danny, you don't want to do this. It's just the drugs in your system. You're better than this."
"I'm better than a lot of things but you didn't want to take a chance on it. I'll show you."
Without another word he practically launched himself at her sending her sprawling to the floor. He was growling with undisguised anger while she was unable to emit so much as a squeak with the air being knocked from her lungs.
"You fucking stood me up. Who do you think you are? You're nothing but a piece of tail, not even much of that even. I don't know what I was even thinking even asking you out. Probably felt sorry for you or maybe I just wanted to see what the country girl had to offer. I bet they don't even know how to fuck properly in Montana. Is that why you stood me up? 'Fraid you can't handle what I had to offer you? I doubt you can but let's see."
He pressed his lips against hers. How many nights had she dreamed of kissing him? Feeling his tongue sweep into hers so that every inch of her mouth felt thoroughly lavished with attention? But this didn't just feel wrong, it was scary. She kept her lips tightly together not allowing his tongue the entry he was seeking. He growled again and then bit her lower lip sharply, drawing blood. She couldn't suppress the cry of pain and in that moment, his tongue pushed its way into her mouth almost gagging her. Weakly she pushed against his chest, trying to free herself but he was too strong. In her mind she kept telling herself over and over again that this wasn't really Danny. That he wouldn't really hurt her like this. He broke off the kiss and she was glad, hopeful that maybe he was seeing reason at last. Instead he grinned wickedly.
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard your eyes are gonna pop out of your head. And even though you're gonna scream and protest and claim you hate me for it, deep inside you're gonna love every minute of it and not be able to get enough."
He shoved her shirt upward revealing her bruised stomach. Lindsay was sure once he saw the bruises he'd snap back to himself, horrified at what he'd been about to do. Instead it seemed like it excited him into a bigger frenzy.
He pressed one hand into the worst of the bruising causing her to cry out in pain. He shook his head. "It's all your fault, you know. You must have wanted it cause you didn't do anything to stop me. Just like you aren't going to stop me now because you know you want this."
"Danny, please."
Lindsay
Where was the help that should have been watching the camera? Why were they leaving her at Danny's mercy? It was her fault she knew for going back into his room but she'd figured the sedative would have lasted longer. She tried to push him away again but he was too strong in his drugged state and she was too weak in her wounded one. She was completely helpless. She closed her good eye tightly so she wouldn't have to see what the man she cared about was about to do.
Lindsay, Sweetheart, wake up.
With a sharp jerk of her body, Lindsay opened her eyes. She was no longer lying on the floor of Danny's hospital room but was still kneeling beside his bed. Lifting her head she saw that Danny was still sleeping peacefully beside her. She frowned and turned around to see Mac, Flack, and Dr. Peterson standing in an almost semicircle behind her. It took her several seconds to realize she must have fallen asleep and immediately into a nightmare. Lindsay hoped the three men couldn't see how shaken she was or how rapidly her heart was beating.
Mac knelt beside her and lightly thumbed away of stray tendril of her hair from her face. He felt bad that his actions tonight had only added to the stress she was feeling. "You're exhausted and probably hurting. I know you are pretty upset with me right now and I can fully understand if you don't want to stay at my place tonight. Stella would be glad for you to stay with her; even Sid came up from the morgue this afternoon to check on you and said he and Alice would love for you to stay with them if you needed to. Say the word and I'll take you where you want to go but you need to go somewhere and get some rest. Flack's going to stay with Danny and he'll explain everything."
She glanced back to Danny's sleeping form, still trying to process in her mind that it had all been a dream. Of course it had been a dream; she couldn't believe that even a drugged out Danny would have been so cruel. She pressed her braced hand against her ribs; even though she hadn't been knocked to the floor and pinned there by Danny as she had dreamed, they were still protesting greatly.
"You okay, there, Monroe?" Flack inserted, concerned that she hadn't said anything.
Slowly she nodded and then looked back at Mac. She took a deep breath. "I don't like what you did but Flack helped me see why you did it. I'll stay with you. Can we just go? I think I've had enough for today."
Mac nodded and helped her rise. He wasn't sure what had happened in the room any more than Flack was but whatever it was had obviously upset her more than his own actions. He reached in his pocket for a handkerchief and handed it to her. "Your lip is bleeding."
"It is?" Lindsay frowned pressing the thin white material to her lip. When she pulled it back she saw that it was now dotted in red. She could remember Danny biting her bottom lip trying to gain access but that had been a dream. She must have bitten her own lip as she slept by Danny's bedside.
Dr. Peterson knew the signs of someone coming out from a nightmare still confused by what was real and what was dream. He was sure that was what happened to Lindsay; he'd been afraid that tonight's actions on top of what had happened yesterday would be too much for the young woman. "I made this offer to Detective Taylor but he wouldn't make the decision for you. I can give you a few sleeping pills that will help you sleep dreamlessly tonight. If you are interested."
After that nightmare, Lindsay was almost willing to take the doctor up on his offer but in light of everything that had happened, couldn't bring herself to do so. She shook her head. "Thanks but I think the only drug I want tonight is a pain pill or two once I get back to Mac's apartment." She turned to Mac, almost pleadingly. "Can we go now?"
Mac nodded and started to lead her out of the room. At the doorway, she paused and cast one more look toward Danny. She pressed the handkerchief back to her lip to keep from biting it again. Flack sensed her hesitation and gave her a quick hug. "You worry about yourself tonight. Danny'll be fine; I'll watch over him."
She nodded and let Mac lead her out of the room. As the door closed behind him he turned to look back at Danny. He shook his head. "You're my best friend and I love you like a brother. But I swear to you on everything that is holy that you'd better be worth the pain she's putting herself through for you."