Her lungs burned from the smoke and ash as she pushed forward through the rubble. Keep moving...just keep moving... Her mind rushed as she pulled her self through a hole in the deck.
The station was immense. Just how big she didn't know, she couldn't even remember how she had gotten here in the first place.
All I remember is that the Normandy was attacked...
I was attacked...by an Alliance dreadnaught...
Her mind spoke as she tried to retrace her steps back to the beginning. But that is all she could recall. She coughed as she slowly tottered down the dimly lit corridor.
Where am I?
"Damn it Shepard! Get going! Get to the shuttle. You don't have much time left!" Miranda blared over the comms.
"Wha..." El'Jaid shook her head as she tried to move faster, but her limbs felt like lead.
"Shepard..." An ethereal voice called to her.
El'Jaid snapped her head around, but she saw nothing.
"Don't listen Shepard...its a trap..." The voice came again.
El'Jaid then turned her head forward and saw a familiarly feminine form outlined in the low light. "Who are you?" She commanded. She couldn't tell if the form was human, or Asari.
She drew closer to the apparition, and it's image seemed...fuzzy. It was shifting, and unclear to her. But as she pressed in further for a better look the head crest of an Asari became evident. The figure was dressed in a long flowing gray robe. The Asari turned it's head, and it's face became much more evident.
"Shiala?" El'Jaid asked suddenly froze. This is a station...not Feros...
The Asari gave a small smile and started to walk calmly forward. "Follow..." Is all that she said.
At first El'Jaid didn't want to follow. Something was out of place. So many things seemed out of place. As she watched the Asari move forward, the creature's image again grew fuzzy, at times distorted.
But she followed anyway.
Heavy sealed doors opened in to an open room. El'Jaid could see no windows that lined the circular space, only a sickly white light shinning in the middle. The Asari sauntered around the boundary between the lighted floor and the darkened edge. Something pulled at El'Jaid's mind, whispering to her to move forward in to the light. At first she resisted, like she had when she had been at the doors, but then her feet gave way to a will of their own.
"Shepard! Where are you! I'm not leaving with out you!" Liara cried through El'Jaid's comm unit. She sounded desperate.
El'Jaid spun around looking for the Asari in the room. She couldn't see anyone else. She was alone.
"Liara! Where are you? What's going on?" El'Jaid bellowed. But there was no response. The comm was silent. El'Jaid's mind felt fuzzy and murky.
"Why do you call out to them?" A voice, an oh so familiar lost voice rang out. "They are but ghosts who entice you with wreathes of friendship and visions of love, but run to black when you try to face them." It hissed.
El'Jaid looked to her left, and her eye caught the willowy female form again. But it had changed. The Asari crest was gone, replaced by a head of raven black hair pulled in to a tight bun.
"Ashley?" El'Jaid breathed. "Your a ghost..."
"And you were dead." The human woman replied. She continued to circle in the dark while she peered at El'Jaid who was rooted in the circle of light. "And yet, when given the opportunity for singular immortality. To rise above all; you turned it away. I am curious as to why."
As El'Jaid continued to gaze at the figure, the woman's face would flicker. It would briefly display an horrid inorganic visage and then would return to 'normal'.
El'Jaid changed her stance to be ready for a blow. Her eye narrowed at the walking effigy before her, and she did not allow it to stray from her sight. "What are you."
"So asks the Being in front of me." A warm fatherly voice called from behind her.
El'Jaid snapped her form in the direction of the voice.
This figure's stark white and neatly trimmed goatee stood out from his face. He wore a crisply cut military hat, and his outfit was that of a firmly pressed military uniform.
"YOU!" El'Jaid screamed in distain. She clinched her fists in rage, but found she could not move. Hate seethed in her. Had she know what would have happened to her crew, her ship.
"Tell me again why you destroyed that star system. Tell me again why those people burned." The figure called out to her.
El'Jaid's face turned in to a sinister snarl. "Did you listen to anything I said? The Reapers were coming! It was either kill three thousand lives for the sake of trillions or lose it all!"
"You treat the Reapers as if they are a true threat. Yet you have never truly met one. You fear out of response and not of true knowledge. All you have are images and confused memories from a people long since given to the deep sleep. History has shown that all the great civilizations rose from ashes. Who are you to say that it would not be the same if the Reapers came to simply collect what they have sown?" The woman spoke from the shadows. "You were given an opportunity of Singular Immortality, and yet you threw it away. Why? Wouldn't immortality be preferable to the cessation which you have already experienced?"
El'Jaid's mind was caught. Death. She knew of death. She was a dealer of it. She had worked in it's shadow for over half of her life. She had been taken by it, and resurrected from it. Yet she understood Death not at all.
As she stood there in the sickly white, she could remember how her body felt as it was slowly choked of life by the void. How her very breath was stolen away by nothing, and how the vacuum's cold seeped in to her very core. A shiver racked through her body as she struggled to keep up her stance.
But still her mind could not comprehend the very thought of Immortality either. Of what that would mean. Being immortal while still existing on a mortal plane seemed, unfathomable. Heresy. El'Jaid closed her eyes. She has been trapped and sedated on that damnable asteroid. That cursed rock. Now it become clear to her why she had not been simply killed, or dissected like a lab rat.
No, they wanted her whole and true.
If you cannot befriend your enemy, subjugate them. If you cannot subjugate them, kill them. If you cannot kill them...
Convert them. Her mind whispered.
She lightly licked her dark amethyst lips. Never again would her lips be the color of flesh like they had once been. She felt her fingers move, their fusion of bone, muscle and metal working together in perfect harmony. Never again would her hands be solely that of an untouched person. She knew that her mind would never again be human, for she had 'seen' too much.
Yet in knowing all of that, immortality would never be apart of who she was. It was too foreign, too alien.
She turned and locked her eyes with the woman. "I refuse to exist beyond usefulness and relevance. To outlive life and to continue to exist as a sliver of a shadow feigning life as magical animation. To function beyond the lives and love of comrades, friends...and family."
"You have no family El'Jaid Shepard. You have no one to call home." The woman hissed.
"Then you know nothing of me, and I name you false!" El'Jaid fired back.
The woman shrank away from her sight in to the shroud of darkness.
El'Jaid then sensed a new entity enter the Sanctum. It's foot steps were as silent as a the dead. It's presence oddly familiar, but she had never met this being. Yet she felt that she was kin to it even though they looked nothing alike.
"Would you burn every world to stop them?" It asked. It's voice ancient, and unrecognizable. Indiscernible between male and female.
"Yes." El'Jaid responded, the hardness of her face unrelenting.
"Would you pursue them relentlessly without benefit of title or reward?"
"I have no use for titles. This second life is my reward, and my curse." She answered.
"Are you willing to give up everything to stop them?" The being asked.
The question seemed simple, yet it was complex. Easy, but difficult to respond to. El'Jaid was willing to torch worlds asunder. Shatter entire fleets. She was willing to pay the needed price if it meant that the Reapers would be stopped and that life as it was, as she knew it, would continue.
Yet there were things that she was unwilling to sacrifice. She understood that sacrifice at any cost would make the victory meaningless and empty. As such it would be no victory at all. The willingness to sacrifice everything for the sake of nearly nothing was pointless.
"No." She answered deathly. "I will not sacrifice that which I fight for. What I want."
For a long stretch of time there was silence in the sanctuary. El'Jaid stood fully before the Being. She could tell that it was weighting her response within it's mind. She was unsure how the creature would react. She knew it had giving it's all. To some, the being was the supreme example of Sacrifice. To others, the model of desperation. The example of a last ditch effort to secure some semblance of a victory, no matter how empty it was.
How would it weigh her words? What would be it's judgment?
It looked back at her. It's eyes peering in to hers. It walked ever closer, but never entered into the circlet of light. It's presence to El'Jaid was comforting and astonishing. She felt both a stranger and blooded to it. She understood the creature completely. She knew everything about it.
"Then..." The Being started out slowly. It's voice gently hissing. "We are in agreement."
Light slowly drowned out El'Jaid's vision, and the vista before her washed away into a sea of white.
[][][][][][][]
The first feeling she had of autonomous life was the breath that filled her lungs deeply. The cleansing, filtered life flowed in to her very being. The first sight of autonomous life was recognizing that she was in a medical bay. Yet it was unfamiliar to her. It was dark. She couldn't tell if there were any windows.
Where am I? El'Jaid's mind asked groggily as she pulled herself up. No restraints she noticed as she swung her legs over the medical bed's edge.She looked around, but nothing familiar called out to her. It looked all the same as almost every medical bay to her had. At least the Normandy's felt less...clinical...with the windows...
Immediately terror gripped her. The Normandy's been taken, and I'm on my way to Earth, if I'm not already there. She thoughts as she slipped on to the cool metal floor. El'Jaid stealthily pass across the room to the door. Unlocked. What is this? Someone has been lazy. If I'm on board the Everest, I'm going to pay Hackett a little visit. Her mind hissed as she took in a breath to steady herself.
Her mind snapped into action. Even if the door has been left unlocked and her not confined to the bed, El'Jaid knew that there had to be a guard on the other side. First she needed to take care of that. She also wanted information, and as a bonus she could use the guard as a hostage. From there she would determine how best to use her reluctant companion.
It has to be quick. Flawless. One mistake will either mean a cell or a shot to the head. But I have to get out. I had to get to my crew, or at least find out what happened to them.
Move. Her mind commanded as she took one step forward to order the door to open. And as it obeyed her order time slowed. Just beyond them her prediction was rewarded. An armed guard stood with his back to her. He held an Avenger Assault rifle lazily in his hands, so he had been caught napping. His hair was a sandy blond formed in to the neat standard military cut. He was roughly 6 feet tall, so he held a height advantage, but she could work with that.
Besides. A little extra cover is always a plus. She smiled.
As soon as the doors gave her enough room to move she rushed forward and kicked his left leg out from under him forcing him his to fall back. Then not a nano-second later she had her left arm around his neck and his side arm in her right hand forcing uncomfortable in to the man's rib cage.
Perfect. Her mind purred as the man try to gurgle out a remark.
"Shh." She hushed as she tighten her hold around his neck a little, and dug the pistol even more in to his side. Her eyes never leaving his. How familiar. She thought. But no matter.
"How about we play a little game humm?" She sung softly relaxing her grip on his throat so he could talk.
"Wha...What?" He croaked.
"It's called take me to your leader." She hissed.
"Ah...but...Ma'am." He said struggling to speak. "That's...you."
"Need some tea Commander?" A familiar voice called out wearing a face of surprise and shock.
What? Her mind caught as she looked up for the first time to take in the rest of the visage around her. The sight, and Gardner's response hit her like a grav-train and an antique Mack truck combined.
El'Jaid winced. Oh shit. Hadley. Operative Hadley. Her mind exhaled as she gently let her 'prey' go. Fucking perfect indeed! And 'take me to your leader'? Where the hell did that come from?
Hadley stumbled forward still stunned. El'Jaid could tell he was bewildered from being accosted by his own commanding officer.
"Ah...sorry 'bout that." El'Jaid responded sheepishly.
He only looked back at her in shock and awe.
El'Jaid slowly walked over to where Gardner stood, she could feel fire in her cheeks.
Gardner regarded her carefully. "Are you alright Commander?"
She sighed as she slowly walked over to the kitchen counter where Gardner stood dutifully behind. She leaned against it resting her elbows and putting her head in her hands. "My head feels like it's been used as a basketball by Grunt and Jack, and the last thing I remember is the Normandy pitching under me and throwing me in a wall like a bad roller coaster ride."
"Well Commander, there are few others who would be able to say that they were on a Frigate, had a Dreadnaught open fire on um, and have lived to tell about it. No sooner did the Admiral's shuttle leave the bay than the Dreadnaught opened fire on us. Now I've never been one for VIs or anything artificial that can out think me, but EDI really pulled that fat outa the fryer for us. " Gardner went right in to action as he rummaged around the cupboards. "Now where did I put that...there we go!" He remarked as he triumphantly pulled a small bowl from the very back of the drawer.
"What did EDI do?" El'Jaid asked as Gardner turned around and set the bowl down on the kitchen island.
"Took a page from Joker's book and made a wild FTL jump. Left that oversized bath tub in the dust." He said warmly. "You were found unconscious...again, and brought to the med bay...again." Gardner stated with a twinge of amusement and he turned and started searching in the fridge.
"Thanks for the reminder Mr. Gardner." El'Jaid Growled, but a small smirk had also started to work across her face. I can stare down Thresher Maws, Reapers, and Specters; but the great Commander Shepard has no chance against a wall, or a floor...
"Don't mention it Commander." Gardner replied. "Now I do have some bad news."
"Just keeps getting better...hit me Gardner."
"We are all out of your Earl Grey tea. But I have something that is exactly like it. Only instead of black tea, it uses...purple...tea. And instead of the Beaumont Orange oil it uses some kind of green...ish vegetable." He said as he brought out a metal jug. "But like I said; it's exactly like Earl Grey tea. I think this is based off a Salarian recipe." As he poured the cold liquid in to the small bowl.
El'Jaid had to admit, the concoction didn't sound exactly appetizing. It reminded her too much of purple cough syrup as she watch it pour out from the jug and in to her bowl. But at the same time. What else did she have to lose? And her throat was screaming for fluids. It's just like Early Grey tea... She thought as she brought the bowl up and took a drink. The tea was not what she expected at all. Rather than feeling the icy chill of an iced tea, the liquid gave her a warm sensation as it slithered down her throat not unlike a good whiskey or scotch, but without the burning. The taste and fragrance was that of lavender and rose. But most of all it relaxed away the pounding headache.
"Ummm...Mr. Gardner. I think you have another winner on your hands." She said approvingly.
He smiled as he turned and put the jug away. "Glad to hear that Commander."
El'Jaid stood there for a moment enjoying her tea, for once letting the strain of Command relax away. Gardner went about putting dished through the washer, and other busy work. But he never lost track of her.
"Something on your mind Sergeant?" El'Jaid asked as she tracked him with her right eye.
"Wha...naw nothing Commander." He rushed.
"Uhuh. Out with it." El'Jaid said.
Gardner was silent for a long moment. El'Jaid could tell he was pursing his mind for words. In that space of time all she could hear was the quiet hum of the Normandy around her. She took in the Sergeant's face. She could tell that whatever was weighing on his soul was heavy.
"I've been hearing things Commander. Scuttlebutt that's flowing around. Whispers." Gardner said quietly as he turned to her. He leaned close in the same manner that a bartender would do with a close client or friend. "Crew's wondering what will happen now. Not that that's much of a surprise."
El'Jaid's stomach tightened as she heard him speak. After Hackett's response, she wasn't sure what kind of a 'welcome' she would have from her crew.
"It's hard to believe that its true. That Bahak is gone. That the entire star system is just not there any more. Nothing left." He stood up rubbing the back of his neck looking at the countertop. "Ya know at one time I would have wanted that for those four eyed sons of a bitches. After losing my family I nearly killed one is a fit of blind rage...but I couldn't do it. I didn't want to be like them. Hell, maybe you could say I saw somthing human in them." He said softly. Then he looked up at her. "What happens now Commander? We know the Reapers are coming. But we don't have Cerberus anymore, good riddance, but we also don't have the Alliance or even the Damn Council. Not after Bahak."
"When the Reapers come. We fight." El'Jaid quickly said. She had said those words to herself and others that the phrase had become one of habit. A reflex. A quick empty answer. One that she knew satisfied no one. Especially herself. Frowning she politely pushed away from the counter top. Bile slowly crept in to her throat. "Look, I understand Sergeant...and I appreciate you telling me all of this, but I think I should go." She said as she turned on her heel and started to walk away.
"Wait...Commander Shepard!" Gardner called out.
El'Jaid stopped and turned to face him. Her mask was fixed, but below it she wanted to scream. She could feel herself breaking. It was not too much unlike how she had felt after Torfan.
...yet it was far worse...
Gardner look to her, his gaze unwavering as he let out a sigh in frustration. "Commander I just want to tell you that I know you made the right choice. You wouldn't have done it any other way, because you wouldn't have gotten the job done. That is what you do. What ever happens; this crew is behind you."
Again El'Jaid solemnly nodded, turned again and disappeared around the corner.