"Ms. Lawson."
Miranda bolted awake. She wasn't sure how she had gotten to her bed with towels around her. Nor exactly why she was still wearing damp clothes. She felt groggy and stupid as the call chimed again.
"Ms. Lawson."
Then it all slowly came back to her, and the drunken mess that Jacob had seen.
"Oh god..." She croaked as she sat up and shook her head. Her arms were still sore from the injections that Jacob had given her. Rough was the only word that creeped in her mind to describe the entire episode. Before she would had been angry with Jacob, but now she didn't blame him how he had 'helped' her. She had not been acting as a Second in Command. Instead she was cowering and terrified.
The crew deserves better...
Shepard deserves better...
I have to do better...
"Miss Lawson, do you require medical attention? Are you alright?" EDI's voice boomed like a grand parade in Miranda's head.
"No...No EDI. What is it..." Miranda growled pained with the rhythmic pangs of her headache.
"The Commander is requesting your presence in Life Support as soon as you are able." EDI reported emotionlessly.
Miranda couldn't help but feel her blood run cold. She's awake... "Could you tell me why EDI?"
"It is not my position to say why Ms. Lawson. She only asked me to call for you. She is waiting." EDI replied again with chilling sterility.
Miranda could also tell from the AI that she was no being given a choice in the matter. Miranda her self wasn't giving herself a choice in the matter.
"All right. I'll be there shortly." She responded.
"Understood Ms. Lawson. Logging you out." EDI quipped and soon after her small blue orbed image shrank from the room.
Miranda quickly, but sorely got up and dressed in to some fresh clothes. She chose her old black and white Cerberus uniform. The logo had been stripped away, even still she hadn't worn the outfit ever since the Normandy's rest and refit on Omega. At one time she would have felt completely comfortable in it. But it still felt...binding. Controlling. Like a straight Jacket. She pushed the thought from her mind as she quickly tossed her hair in to an easy pony tail and gave herself a once over in the mirror. She certainly didn't look as polished as she normally did. She looked like she had just stumbled out of a bar where a brawl had ranged all around her. But then she really didn't care about her appearance.
She walked to the door of her office. No one could see her right now. And no one would as she took in a deep breath and steeled her self. She was Miranda Lawson. Human perfection incarnate. She was simply going to meet with her Commander...
...she was simply going to face her own fear..
The doors rolled opened and she walked confidently out. It was still extremely early in the 'morning' aboard the Normandy. Most of the crew was still fast asleep and Miranda noticed that the lock to the starboard viewing deck was engaged. Soon She was standing in front of the door to Life Support.
She let out a light laugh. How ironic it is that she is waiting here... She thought.
Fear was with her like an unwanted friend. It stayed her hand from activating the door. It caused her stomach to clinch ever tighter. It caused a cold sweat in her gloved hands. But she knew that she couldn't simply avoid this. Any excuse would never hold. If she was to move forward, she had to face this.
Carefully forward she moved and the doors parted from her, then closed like Hell's gate behind her. The air in Life Support was dryer than the rest of the ship. It had been the room where the Assassin Thane Krios had stayed.
Miranda knew where she would find Shepard. Sitting in the same seat facing the window looking in to the Normandy's mass effect core. The same seat that she had always sat in when talking with Krios. Miranda knew this because of the single bit of video that one of the Cerberus surveillance bugs had captured. It was the only bit of information Miranda ever got out of Shepard's private meeting with the Drell. A hour after Shepard had first met with the Drell, Miranda had come back to her locked office to find the surveillance bug carefully and purposely displayed on her bed. She knew that the Assassin had found it and left it there as a statement and a warning. Thane never said anything about it, and she didn't ask. But it was understood, and after that Miranda had stopped locking her door. Because what was the use?
At first, with the frequency of Shepard's visits to Life Support and the fact that she had Thane and Garrus join her on many of the missions over the past year, Miranda had wondered if something more intimate had been going on between the Commander and the Drell. But it was not exactly what she had surmised. She had been wrong.
Out of all the new people that Shepard had recruited, Miranda could tell that Shepard identified the most with the Assassin. It was a professional relationship with deep hints of comradeship and twinges of friendship. Two very similar people who took solace in the fact that they had someone to talk to about things, experiences, and thoughts that others would never understand. But no physical attraction was there for them. Love was never there between Shepard and Krios. No, Shepard's heart already belong to someone else, as did Thane's.
She quietly crept closer down the short corridor to the end of the room, and there in the chair she saw Shepard sitting.
"Miranda. I'm glad you came." Shepard said evenly without even looking back.
Her voice caused Miranda to stop. It was then she noticed that Shepard had seen her reflection mirrored in the window. Miranda peered into the same window and saw Shepard's reflection. Her hands were folded left on top of right on the desk in front of her. Shepard's posture was impeccable. No trace of burden or exhaustion could be discerned.
The woman's face was eerily serene, but thin fissures that lined her jaw line glowed a faint red, and her eyes displayed a conflicted story with one pupil shining blue, the other a radiant red. Miranda swallowed. Shepard's unique eyes had never been designed to do that. They had been crafted to be just as Shepard's had been before she had died. But the eyes were once again a reminder that project Lazarus had been truly out of Miranda's control.
"EDI...said you wanted to see me Commander..." Miranda said carefully.
"Yes." Shepard responded. "She has informed me on what had happened since Everest opened fire on us. I wanted to talk with you about where we go from here."
Miranda was frozen. She didn't know what EDI had told the Commander. Right now she was looking at the reflection of the most wanted person in the entire Galaxy. They couldn't last in the depth of space forever. Boarders had no meaning to where they could run. There was no asylum for Shepard. The Galaxy would simply continue to follow and hunt her.
They would continue to ignore the true threat until it was too late...
"What do you know so far?" Miranda asked.
"My Crew and ship were attacked by an Alliance Dreadnaught. EDI got us out. The Batarian Hegemony has gone silent, and the Alliance is gearing up for open war with the Batarians. The Council as usual, is not commenting, though every Council race is."
None of that surprised Miranda. She had kept abreast of the media and the news flying around because of Bahak. Before the Hegemony had gone silent, the Batarians had released still imagery of Shepard at the prison facility on Aratoht, and various captures of the Normandy. Many of the news pundits still could not believe that Commander Shepard was alive. When previous sightings of Shepard started to be brought to the table, most dismissed it as 'crazy talk'. Most believed that it was crew of terrorists trying to destabilize the Galactic community, and that a very good imposter was using Shepard's likeness. Officially the Alliance had not commented on whether or not is could identify the Ship, or 'Shepard'.
But Miranda knew that unofficially the Alliance knew exactly what had happened, and by extension the Council knew what Shepard had done.
And they would continue to hunt her.
Shepard didn't wait for a reply. "What are our options?
Again Miranda couldn't reply. The variables were too many, but they continued to point in the same direction. A dead end. Just running would not work. Shepard couldn't simply go in front of the Council. And Miranda knew that Shepard would never let Liara to simply hide them, it would make her a target. Not when Cerberus knew...
Cerberus. The one variable that had failed to cross Miranda's mind until that moment. She knew that the Illusive Man was angry. He wasn't going to let his own personal pet project just simply give him the finger and walk away. And after the Alpha Relay had gone off...He would see it as a failure, regardless if Shepard had stopped the Reapers. Miranda knew how the Illusive Man dealt with failures.
The Council, The Alliance, even the Terminus states; those Miranda could see, keep track of, stay ahead of. The Illusive Man. The Man who had created Cerberus, who had built the SR2 Normandy, and had funded Shepard's revival. There was no way in hell she could keep an eye out for him. He would strike sideways. Shepard would never see it coming.
Miranda looked back at the reflection. The Commander's face was telling. Miranda knew that Shepard had already gone through every conceivable idea, thought, and plan.
It was all a dead end.
"You worry for her don't you." Shepard said again softly. Her gaze never faltering. "Have you heard from Oriana, Miranda?"
Miranda felt fire in her cheeks and she mentally berated her self for being so transparent. It didn't matter if it was Shepard or Jacob, she despised being seen as weak.
"No, Shepard I haven't." Miranda replied with forced fervor. She had to show that her sister's wellbeing wasn't on her mind. That personal concerns were not effecting her. She couldn't appear weak to Shepard. Not again. Shepard already knew far too much.
A suicide mission can do that. Fear and love can make a person do that. To bare their burdens to anyone. Burdens that would have and should have otherwise been kept for a more well known audience. Yet Miranda had survived, she had re-learned that lesson, to always be mindful of the audience your speaking to.
"I see..." Shepard responded, with a tone of...what...sadness in her voice? "I was only curious because I don't know where Liara has moved Oriana and her family to."
If Miranda Lawson's facade had one weak point, it was Oriana. It had always been Oriana. Her eyes went wide with shock and surprise.
"What...what do you mean you don't know where my sister is." Miranda felt like she had been kicked in the stomach. She saw Shepard's reflection. This time her face was pointed down to the table. Miranda inched closer to get a better look, and she saw Shepard staring into a small empty bowl.
"I asked only Liara to handle it. To move your sister and her family. I didn't want to know where your sister is incase Cerberus would try to find her by coming after me. I don't want them to use your sister against you Miranda. I have to save your family Miranda. I have to." Shepard said solemnly.
Miranda again was lost for words. She had not expected this. She didn't know what to do or say. Liara was the only person who knew, and that in itself was nothing since she was the Shadow Broker.
Shepard then turned to face her. Her eyes this time were glowing a ghostly blue. I sorrowful blue.
Shepard looked down at the floor between them. "I did it Miranda. I killed those people. All three hundred thousand of them. I killed them to try to save Trillions. I killed them to delay the Reapers." She looked back up to Miranda.
"Did I do the right thing?"
The last question echoed in Mirada's psyche. It struck like a wrecking ball against her tower of fear, shattering it. How could the being that sat in front of her be the kind of monster that she feared, and yet pose that question? That monster would have had no sense of caring, or remorse. It didn't matter if it was about one person or a trillion. The monster that Miranda Lawson feared would have not batted an eyelash at all. That monster did not sit where El'Jaid Shepard did.
But Miranda knew she could not answer Shepard with an I don't know. Even though she wanted to.
"Shepard. You have always said that it was your mission to stop the Reapers. That mission has not changed." Miranda said softly.
Shepard took in a deep breath. Miranda was unsure if she had helped or not. But at least she was free. Her sister and her were finally free. I will follow you like Garrus and the others. You led me through hell, and I will follow now to what ever end. She whispered in her mind as she looked upon the strong, powerful woman in front of her.
"Shepard...you looked exhausted. It's four in the bloody morning. Get to your cabin and your bed." Miranda commanded with a friendly smirk.
El'Jaid looked up and cracked a grin. "Aye Aye." And she hauled herself to her feet. As she walked past Miranda she reached out and gave her XO a gentle grip on the shoulder.
"Did EDI also tell you that Dr. T'Soni is onboard?" Miranda asked.
El'Jaid's eyes narrowed. She was not aware of that unexpected, and unwanted news. "No...EDI didn't."
"It was an...oversight...Commander." EDI responded as quickly as she had appeared. "I believe she is currently residing in the starboard observation deck."
"All right. Please do not wake her. I am going to my cabin, and I need some shut eye, so no visitors." Shepard heated.
"Even Dr. T'Soni?" EDI asked.
"Especially Dr. T'Soni." El'Jaid growled.
EDI paused for a long moment.
"I understand Shepard. Anything else?"
"No. Thank you."
"Logging you out." EDI quipped before vanishing.
Miranda watched as a living Atlas with her shoulders bowed heavy with burden, but showing the undeniable strength of resolve, walked out of Life Support. Miranda soon followed and returned to her own office. She quickly stripped out of her outfit and threw it in the trash bin.
"I have no more need of binders. Of chains. I'm free." She said elatedly as she then slipped under her bed's covers and drifted off to the first instance of restful sleep she had known in an age.