It was several months later; summer just before ninth grade. Rachel, Quinn and Santana all lay by the pool with Brittany in her backyard. The sky was a perfect, cloudless blue. The sun sparkled in the water of the pool.
"San, can I have a massage? I normally put Lord Tubbington on my back and let him walk up and down, but he's missing in action today." Brittany said pouting, after getting up from the towl she lay on and crawling over to Santana
"Of course BritBrit." Santana sat up and wrapped an arm around the blonde, gesturing for her to lay down on her stomach on the towel the brunette was previously laying on. She grabbed the bottle of sunscreen next to her, squirted some into her hands and began to rub Brittany's back, initiating a soft sigh from her.
Quinn watched the two girls enviousy, remembering back in sixth grade when she had come down with namonia and Rachel had come over to see her that weekend, bringing some of Quinn's favorite magazines and her favorite ice cream. Rachel had crawled into Quinn's bed, cuddled up with her, and watched movies with her. Quinn remembered Rachel giving her the most amazing massage afterwards.
"Your fingers are magical." She said, causing the brunette to giggle.
It seemed like so long ago. So much has changed since then, She thought. After that night, almost a year ago, Quinn distanced herself from Rachel a bit. For the first month or two she ignored her phone calls, texts and e-mails, and avoided seeing or speaking to her at school. She needed time to sort out her feelings. Quinn missed her, and their friendship. She had years worth of memories with Rachel, great ones. But after that night, after the song, after the kiss, after the way the kiss made her feel inside, she knew she had to distance herself from the girl to get rid of that feeling. It didn't work as well as she hoped, the feelings were still there, feelings she still wasn't sure about. She began talking to Rachel again; she couldn't keep away from her any longer, she was desperate to get their friendship back, and she did, it just wasn't the same. Rachel was a bit distant too, trying to keep herself from getting hurt like that again. Rachel began spending time with the three of them again, un-like Santana, Brittany really liked her, and Santana would do anything to keep Britt happy. She agreed to spend time with Rachel whenever Quinn and Brittany wanted to. Even though their friendship wasn't the same, and Quinn was still trying to understand what she was feeling, she was grateful Rachel was still apart of her life.
"So, guess who already got asked to the fall dance at McKinley high school next year?" Santana asked, distracting the blonde from her thoughts.
"You did?" Brittany asked, her head shooting up. "By who?"
"Relax honey," Santana continued rubbing her back. "Puck asked me earlier today. He's ridiculously hot, I couldn't say no." Quinn laughed, thinking back to all those times in elementary school when Santana said Puckerman was gross. Puck was always flirting with those girls, but Quinn was never interested. Santana had liked him on and off that year.
"Us four usually go to dances together," Santana said. " But we're about to enter high school girls. So, it's time we start really thinking about who we wanna be and who we wanna be with through our high school years. What better way to start off high school than with a boyfriend?"
"That Mike Chang kid it has nice abs... and he's a dancer, like me..." Brittany trailed off, seeming to be lost in thought before shrugging. "I'll just dance with other people's dates at the dance. So really, their dates are my dates." Santana giggled at Brittany's adorableness then turned to face Rachel.
"Any particular guy you've got your eye on, Berry?" She asked with a smirk. Rachel blushed, smiling a little.
"There might be someone..." She admitted uneasily. " Finn Hudson... he's cute, and he's really sweet. We talked for a bit the other day." Quinn sat up, turning to look at Rachel. Those big, beautiful brown eyes that Quinn loved met the blonde's, causing Quin's heart to shatter into a million pieces.
"You... you like Finn?" She asked through gritted teeth. Rachel continued to look at Quinn, remaining quiet. She could easily see the pain in those hazel eyes. Brittany and Santana looked at the two suspiciously. Quinn shook her head.
"It's nothing.. it's just.. I uh, like Finn too." The girls gasped, and before they had a chance to speak Quinn spoke up.
"Excuse me." She said quickly and quietly, standing up and brushing past Rachel as she hurried inside the back door of Brittany's house. Warm tears spilled down her cheeks as she entered the bathroom and slid down the closed door, sitting on the floor. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them, wishing the pain in her heart would disappear. Why does this hurt so much? I don't understand what's happening.. what's wrong with me? Just as she let out another agonizing sob, she heard a knock at the door.
"Quinny?" Rachel asked in a soft, concerned voice. Hearing the brunette's small voice caused the blonde's heart to ache even more. She debated wiping away her tears and pretending she was fine, but she knew there was no way she'd be able to pull that off succesfully. Rachel knew her too well.
Quinn slid away from the door, sitting against the wall instead, allowing the girl to come in. Rachel slowly opened the door, immediately noticing the heartbroken girls tear-stained cheeks. She stepped inside and sat next to her, placing her small hand on Quinn's knee.
Both girls remained quiet for what seemed like forever. Neither of them said a word; they didn't have to.
"You love me." Rachel stated finally, speaking barely above a whisper. Quinn shook her head, more tears spilling down her cheeks as she gritted her teeth. She wasn't sure if she was crying out of anger, frustration, sadness...or all three.
"I'm scared of the way you make me feel inside, Rachel." Her voice cracked as she tried to speak. "It hurts so much." A few tears slid down the brunette's cheeks.
"I'm so sorry." Rachel spoke softly again.
"Don't be sorry." She said, her voice full of sadness and confusion. "I... I can't stay like this. I don't wanna' feel confused anymore." Quinn stood up, and Rachel followed.
"Feel what?" Rachel demanded, she had questions, just like Quinn.
"I don't know! I don't know what I feel. I'm so lost Rachel, can't you see that? All I know is it killed me when you said you like Finn." Rachel didn't know what to say to the crying girl, she was just as confused about her feelings as Quinn.
Quinn's tear-filled eyes looked into Rachel's also watery eyes, and all she wanted to do was stand with her, pull her into her arms and comfort her, getting rid of the pain between both of them, but she couldn't. Not now.
Quinn headed for the bathroom door, grabbing the handle and turning her neck slightly to speak to Rachel once more.
"I love you Rach. " She whispered, before stepping out the door, closing it behind her.
"I love you more Quinn." Rachel whispered as another tear hit the floor. She knew that could be possibly be the last time she ever heard her best friend say that again.
Hope you liked chapter 4 (: Chapter 5 soon xx