….december sorrow: chapter 9…
It's almost winter… today is the very first day of December
And the baby should be born in a month.
…
Ever since Chelsea was put on bed rest, I would take care of her and the farm. It was the least I could do at the time.
A few days ago, I invited all of our friends over to catch up and make things feel like normal again. When they all showed up, we had dinner and had a few drinks… but no one could escape the feeling that something bad was approaching from the scared and sympathetic looks they gave us.
"So when are you due, Chelsea," Sabrina asked as she stared curiously at Chelsea's very large belly.
"About 3 weeks. I can't wait!"
Natalie smiled and rubbed Chelsea's belly, "So is it a boy or a girl?"
Chelsea giggled, "It's a girl… we're naming her Ushio!"
"What a weird name."
"Mark! That's so rude!"
"It's only true, Natalie."
I slowly sipped my hot milk and wondered if this would be the last time we would be able to hang out like this.
"Hey Vaughn, are you nervous?"
I looked over at Denny and smiled, "No. I'm happy; I guess I've always wanted a family of my own."
That was a lie… I was scared to death… I could loose Chelsea in three weeks. How can I not be nervous?
"Well we better get going you two; the ferry should be here any minute," Natalie sighed as she grabbed her coat.
"Goodbye everyone! It was very nice seeing you again!"
When the door shut, Chelsea sighed sadly.
"Vaughn? Will we ever see them again?"
I looked over at my wife. Her eyes were filled with so many emotions… happiness, sadness and fear. I was scared to tell the truth, because the truth is; I don't think we will see them again… but I never lied to Chelsea before…
"Yeah… I think so. They're our friends after all."
Chelsea rested her head on my shoulder and placed her hand on her stomach.
"I wish I could believe you."
That night there was blizzard… All you could hear was the howling wind and see the snow fall violently onto the cold ground.
That night Chelsea went into labor.
…..decembersorrow
I called Mirabelle and Dr. Trent probably a thousand times but I knew it would be nearly impossible for them to arrive due to the blizzard. The only one who could get here was Mirabelle.
"Vaughn, get plenty of sheets and heat up some water… a lot of it!"
I did exactly what I was told as fast as I could… I tried to stay calm but all I could hear was her painful cries.
I handed Mirabelle the stuff she asked for and sat down next to Chelsea.
"Vaughn, I'm going to prepare; you stay by Chelsea's side and try to help her through the pain."
"Should I hold her hand?"
Mirabelle smiled gently, "Would you please do that?"
As soon as Mirabelle left the room, I held onto Chelsea's hand.
"V-Vaughn…. i-it hurts so much…"
"I know Chelsea, but you can do this! Soon we'll have Ushio and we can finally be a family!"
Chelsea squeezed my hand tightly and screamed out in pain…
Sometimes Chelsea would pass out from exhaustion; only to be awoken by the pain… it was so hard to watch I almost closed my eyes. It felt like I was living a nightmare…I was only dreaming…
Mirabelle came into the room once again and grabbed Chelsea's other hand.
"Ok Chelsea, sweetheart… it's time to start pushing. I want you to try your best alright," Mirabelle whispered softly.
"O-Ok I'm… ready…"
And that's when time seemed to stand still… my vision became blurry, and all I could hear was the miserable sounds of Chelsea, screaming out in pain.
I slowly started to come back to reality when I heard the muffled sounds of a little baby crying.
"Congratulations Vaughn and Chelsea! You have a beautiful baby girl!"
Mirabelle handed me a small baby wrapped in a small pink blanket. I was a father now…
"Look Chelsea! I get to be the first one to hold baby Ushio! Look she's so small…."
Chelsea slowly opened her eyes half way and smiled tiredly…
"I-I'm g-glad… we had her Vaughn…"
"I'm sure she'll grow up fast… before you know it we'll be taking her to her first day of school"
"V-Vaughn….. I'm r-really tired now….. do...you think…I could close my eyes for a minute..."
"Chelsea… stay with me… you don't have to talk… just listen…."
Chelsea slowly closed her eyes and Ushio began to cry…
"Shhhh its ok baby girl… heh… she's ignoring me Chelsea… I guess I better get used to it huh?"
"…. T-thank you Vaughn… t-thank you for these y-years. They were the happiest …. Times of my life."
"Don't talk like that Chelsea! You're going to be fine! Here… feel Ushio's cheeks…. They're so soft… she's so cute just like you Chelsea!"
I put Chelsea's hand on Ushio's face… her hand was so cold. I handed Ushio, who was still crying, to Mirabelle and grabbed Chelsea's hand.
"Chelsea! Chelsea! Please wake up!"
"V-Vaughn…. I l-love you….. G-g-goodbye…"
And Chelsea's hand fell from mine and she closed her eyes….
"Chelsea? Are you awake…?"
I looked down at Chelsea's now pale, cool hand. Her wedding ring shimmered from the dim kitchen light….. She's gone.
"You promised me many times didn't you? That you would stay by my side…. You gave me something worth living for! I never believed my life would get better until you showed up! To think someone like me with such a crappy life found love….. Please… please don't leave me…! Chelsea!"
Flashbacks of us came to my mind…. Chelsea cooking, cleaning, giving me a hair cut…. Holding my hand. And to think I'm never going to see her again. And suddenly, I was back at the place where we first met… when Chelsea was talking to herself and I told her to find more happy things in life…. Where it all began. But this time I didn't say anything and she walked past me…
We never should have met. I never should have asked her out, married her and Ushio would have never been born. Chelsea would still be alive. It's my fault she's gone…
I wish I never went to that mountain that day… never should have said anything.
I wish I never met her… so I wouldn't have to go through this terrible… aching pain.
…decembersorrow….