8
It was a clear bright sunny day as Hawkeye and Margaret walked down the row of graves in the cemetery. Hawkeye just stared as he thought about how ironic it was for them to be doing something like this and have the weather be perfect at the same time. As if nothing had happened. He looked over to check on Margaret. She looked straight forward in s distant stare. Often like she would back in Korea when they would be called to attention. The straight, serious face, the same one that would never crack under the pressure. He knew exactly what she was doing. They were out in public in a place where nobody else was happy. He reached over and grabbed her hand.
Without any change of expression, Margaret looked over at him. His face full of sorrow. She then lowered her eyes down to their hands. She wished more then ever that she knew what was going on in his head. Why he was trying to friendly to her now. Last night she felt rejected, now she had no idea how she felt around him. She had always known that he wasn't out to hurt her. Closing her eyes to keep back tears, she nodded at him and then went back to her blank stare forward.
The entire rest of the way was silent. They still held hands, there wasn't nearly the closeness between the two as there was the night before. Now they were treating each other like china dolls. Being careful because they knew that the other was fragile and once broken didn't have much of a chance of being fixed.
"Well, here we are," Margaret said stopping before a grave.
They both stared down at it. Margaret remembering the first time she ever held Serena. The first time she called her mommy. The first steps that she took. Their first time baking a cake together. How she would smile. How she would walk, talk, think, act. Everything. How she would laugh and get excited easily. How she reminded her of Hawkeye. How much more meaningful and enjoyable she made her life.
Hawkeye stood there wondering how he could never meet this girl. There was always going to be questions, and he was sure that they would get answered. But there was nothing that could actually take the place of meeting her. He knew what she looked like and that she reminded Margaret of him. But what did he really know? He knew nothing about her. About what she liked, her habits, how she reminded her of him. Nothing. It was all a huge puzzle with missing pieces. You knew what the picture was supposed to look like, but you didn't get to see the whole thing.
Margaret knelt down before the grave and put a single daisy on the little girl's grave.
"She always loved daisies. Every chance that she got she would go over into the neighbor's yard and pick two of theirs. One for her and one for me," Margaret said.
"I guess I'm just lucky that they were okay with that," Margaret said.
Margaret just looked up and stared into the distance. Hawkeye just stared down at the grave. He was upset, but there was really nothing for him to actually miss. There was no actual connect between him and Serena. What hurt him most was not knowing. He had every chance to pick up a phone or write a letter and find out what was going on. To get to meet little Serena.
Margaret laid her hand on the grave as tear went down her cheek. Every memory that she had lead up to her seeing her Serena in the bathroom in her blood.
"I'm home," Margaret said walking in the door.
"Carrie?" Margaret asked noticing that the house was quiet.
Getting nervous, she walked around the house to try and find them.
"Real nice," she said noticing Carrie asleep on the couch.
Then she decided to go upstairs and check Serena's room.
"Serena?" she called out.
There was no answer. Every second of silence made her more nervous. There was no one in any of the rooms, but she did notice that the bathroom door was closed.
"Oh boy," she said imagining what the little girl could have gone through and messed up while she was gone.
"Serena honey. You need to come out now," Margaret said knocking on the door.
"Serena?" she asked not getting a response.
Margaret opened the door. Her eyes wide with shock.
"Serena!" she screamed.
Quickly, she ran into her room and called the ambulance. Then, she went into the bathroom and sat down beside her child. She gently brushed the hair from her face revealing the calm girl. There was blood on her hand and on her clothes, but she didn't care. Right now all she cared about was Serena being okay.
"They pronounced her dead," Margaret said.
Hawkeye looked over to see what she was doing.
"I couldn't believe it in the hospital. Three nurses told me the same exact thing. That she didn't make it," Margaret said.
Tears started pouring down her cheeks.
"She can't be dead. She was just a little girl. What young child deserves to die?" she asked.
He had often asked the same question. The problem was that there just was no answer.
"How can she be dead!?" Margaret cried out.
"Okay, okay," Hawkeye sad sitting down next to her.
He tightly wrapped his arms around her as she dropped her head into her hands.
"Alright, calm down," he said soothingly.
"Just calm down," he said.
Just for you people who were wondering, Central Catholic did beat St. Johns, and trust me, we were all very excited.