10
Margaret looked over at Hawkeye. She had no idea how she truly felt about that question. She was lonely, and she wasn't going to deny that. The real question was, could he handle that? Could he stay by her side and know that no matter how often he is with her, she will still be lonely? That he could never fill that spot? Right now she was feeling as if she would never get over Serena. She knew that she needed some one, she just didn't know if she could really put some one through that, especially Hawkeye. There was also a fear. She had no clue what she was afraid of, but she was.
"I don't know," she said not able to actually look him in the eyes.
Hawkeye looked down. All she took this chance to study his expression. He was almost emotionless. He did look a bit hurt, but she could tell that he was trying as hard as he could to hide it.
"I just don't know if I'm ready right now," she said turning to face him.
Hawkeye just continued to stare. He had this hope that she would say yes. It was like he had become so vain in the last two minutes that he actually convinced himself that there was no way for her to say no to him, but without that sudden feeling, he could have never had brought himself to be able to ask her. At least now he wouldn't have to go back and think about what could have been. Ever since they had left each other's arms in Korea he had been asking himself that question. What could have become of them? Now the biggest question is would he have been a good father, and would Serena still be alive. It's not really something that he thought about too often until now, but every decision that you make can completely change the course of your future. If one of them had said no on their last night together, Serena wouldn't have even existed. If he would have proposed to her before they left they might have been married right now and he could have met Serena. If she would have told him about her before she died he would have helped out with her. The biggest one of all, he was there he could have let Margaret stay home with her longer. That thought was always going to be stuck in the back of his head.
"I'm sorry," Margaret said noticing that he was upset.
Hawkeye looked up at her. His hair still hanging in his saddened eyes.
"Don't be, you know that I would never pull you into something that you're not ready for," he said.
Margaret shifted her eyes from him down towards the ground. As she did, she slowly took her arm closest to the back of her chair and moved it up towards her chest where she tightly held onto the locket. A tear softly shimmered as it dripped down off her eye lashes and ran down her cheek. Hawkeye turned himself to face her. Taking his hand, he gently cupped her face and wiped the tear off with his thumb. Margaret took his hand in hers and held it for a second. She then let go and placed her hand on his cheek. There was nothing but silence as the two stared into each other's eyes. Then slowly, she leaned over the arm of the chair and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her and returned the kiss.
The sun was setting as the cab pulled up to the Pierce house. First he got out and paid then fare. He then opened the door for Margaret who was trying to get her make up redone.
"You look great," he said offering his hand.
Margaret looked up from her compact. She felt the complete opposite, but smiled anyways and took his hand. As she got out she stared at Hawkeye. Half of his face was covered with the orange glow given off by the sun leaving the other half in shadow. His expression now seemed softer like he was a little happy. She couldn't figure out why, but that made her feel a little bit better.
"Here, you wait here and I'll take the luggage up to the porch and then I'll come and get you," he said.
"Okay," Margaret said.
She watched him grab the bags out of the trunk and start to carry them.
"Do you need any help?" she asked.
"No," he said.
She stood there and watched him carry the rest of the stuff up to the porch. Even though there was nothing to worry about, she was nervous. Here she was coming in and changing every one's life. How could this man possibly be glad that he met her, let alone be with his son. She was also pretty sure that Hawkeye had written him letters that said things about her love life over in Korea, not that it was really love, but more of a of 'you're here, you fit the standards and I'm lonely' type of deal.
"You ready?" Hawkeye asked.
Margaret looked up, almost startled, she nodded. Hawkeye put his arm around her shoulder and walked her to the porch. Margaret closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Are you really nervous?" he asked.
"Yes," she said.
Hawkeye didn't want to knock on the door until he knew that Margaret was ready.
"Why?" he asked.
"I don't know," she said.
Hawkeye pulled her closer to him.
"Hey, don't worry. He'll like you. I promise. Besides, if he doesn't, I'll still like you," Hawkeye said.
"Okay," Margaret said sounding a little more sure of herself.
He knocked on the door and waited. She just stared off towards the sunset. It calmed her, that was, until she heard the door open. Standing there was a man who resembled Hawkeye, except for his eyes which were very dark.
"Hey Ben, nice to see you back," he said smiling as he put his hand on his son's shoulder.
"Nice to be back," Hawkeye said.
"And who is this?" Daniel asked looking towards Margaret.
"Dad, this is Margaret, the woman that I went to go visit," Hawkeye said and then smiled over at Margaret.
Daniel knew very little about why Hawkeye went to go see her. All that he really did know was that it was some one that be cared about and that it was sudden. Other then that, it was all a mystery to him. He just happy to see that Hawkeye decided to bring her back. Ever since Hawkeye had come home, it seemed like a part of him was missing or something. He remembered him bringing BJ and Trapper out with their families and go and see the Potters. Every time he would see them, their families, there was this longing in his eyes. Some kind of jealousy that he had towards them.
Daniel stood in the doorway in the kitchen leading out to the living room. It was late in the night as he watched Hawkeye and Trapper out in the living room on the couch, each with a drink in their hand.
"So I guess this is your last night here," Hawkeye said.
"Yeah, but we'll be back out in a little bit," Trapper said.
Hawkeye sighed as he looked back down at his drink. Everything was different between them now. Sure, they could still have a good time, and did. They went to Hawkeye's old rival from before he left and hosed down his car so that his entire car would be frozen in the morning, they went out drinking and pulled a few more pranks on the people who needed a lesson to be taught to them. It was almost like old times. The only problem was, they had both changed. Trapper now was more attached to his family. Being with his daughters meant everything and he stopped cheating on his wife. Hawkeye didn't have that same streak of evilness that he used to have. That loss of guilt where he didn't care if he embarrassed some one or ruined their day. Now he did. He cared and he didn't know why.
"I wish you didn't have to go so soon. I'm starting to get bored here," Hawkeye said.
"Ah, you'll get over that. That's the way I was when I got back home to. It's normal," Trapper said.
"And now I'm busy as hell and wish for those few days when I was bored," Trapper said.
Hawkeye looked over at him. He knew that he was going to start talking about his family life now.
"I wish I was busy. That way I wouldn't be so bored," Hawkeye said.
Trapper looked over with sympathetic eyes.
"Hey, don't forget, you'll have to come over to my place in about six months here," Trapper said.
Hawkeye looked up and smiled.
"I guess so," Hawkeye said.
"You know how worn out you're going to be for the next few years?" Hawkeye asked.
"I know, Becky is doing great in school and wants to compete against the students at other schools. Kathy has started dance lessons. They have both gotten into art. Then there's the baby which we have to get ready for," he said.
Hawkeye just sat back and blankly stared. As hard as it was for him to admit, he needed that. He needed some one to depend on him, he needed to get married, to have kids. He needed to start over. Not come back home and pick up where you left off and expect everything to be the same.
"Do you remember hotlips?" Hawkeye asked.
Trapper was surprised with his question.
"Who doesn't?" Trapper asked devilishly grinning.
"Did you know that she had gotten married after you left?" Hawkeye asked.
"Yeah, you sent me a picture of what you and BJ did to the groom," Trapper said.
"Did you know that she had gotten divorced?" Hawkeye asked.
"No," Trapper said confused as he was trying to figure out where this was going.
"She did," Hawkeye said.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Trapper asked smirking.
Hawkeye looked up at him.
"You know, I don't know. What I do know is that we were pretty close by the time that the war was over," Hawkeye said.
His smile quickly faded.
"But, there is one thing I regret. After all that time we spent together, and after everything we've been through together. That last night together, we left each other. We left each other, because I let her leave. I had every chance to ask her to marry me or to at least come home with me, but I chickened out," Hawkeye said.
"I think you should give her a call," Trapper said.
Hawkeye looked up and stared straight forward.
"I don't know if that's possible," he said.
"Daniel Pierce," he said introducing himself and extending his hand.
"Margaret Houlihan," Margaret said doing the same.
Daniel's face lit up. He knew that name very well.
"You're the one that I used to hear a lot about. Boy Ben really does like you," Daniel said.
Hawkeye's face turned red and made Margaret laugh.
"Maybe," she said.
She had still been thinking about Hawkeye's proposal. All she was able to do on the ride there was think about the pros and cons of marrying Hawkeye. So far she hadn't thought of any cons yet. That itself was a good thing. That she could not think about anything bad happening was sign that she felt comfortable with him. That there would definitely be no doubts around the time of the wedding.
"And maybe I like you to," Margaret said looking down waiting for a reaction,
"Really?" Hawkeye asked.
"Yeah," Margaret said looking up.
"Maybe enough to change my mind and say yes," Margaret said.
Hawkeye's face lit up and went over and kissed her. Daniel just watched as he figured out what was going on. It wasn't that hard to see that they were getting married. He could even see it in the way that she had been talking.
"Dad," Hawkeye said puling himself apart from Margaret.
"Yes?" Daniel asked getting ready to sound surprised.
"Meet your new daughter in law," Hawkeye said pointing towards Margaret.
Daniel smiled and then hugged Margaret.
"I'm glad that he finally decided to settle down," Daniel said and then pulled away.
"You must be some special woman," he said.
Those words, though very few, meant every thing to Margaret. Now she knew that she was going to be okay with Mr. Pierce. He obviously liked her and she didn't see any reason that she would dislike him. The only thing that might cause a problem was going to be telling him the reason why Hawkeye had come out to see her.
"Why don't you two go get ready for dinner?" Daniel asked.
"Alright, we'll be down in a little bit," Hawkeye said.
"Hey, you need some one to help you with those bags?" Daniel asked.
"No I'm fine," Hawkeye said and then led Margaret up to her room as he carried her luggage.