A/N: This is my strange brand of humor, where I angst for a page and then come out with a single funny statement. One curse word, and…no, that's it. Enjoy.

Still Alive

He's dangerous.

He knows that much – a thousand years of living with himself (he just pulls his age out of thin air anymore, making things up that are somewhat close to the answer, maybe, and no matter what he says, they're astounded; they can't even comprehend a lifespan ten times their own) and even he's died at least ten times. If it's that unsafe for him, imagine what it's like for the people around him. Since the Time War, it's gotten even worse. He's old now, and he burns as a fire, rages as a storm. So much for mellowing with age. The things he's seen, and the things he continues to see every day. The things he makes them see.

He makes people into weapons.

The creator of his oldest enemies saw it. He sees it. He takes her with him, and they run. She's young and innocent and beautiful, and so alive. And he ruins her. At first she stays the same, she's just like she was before, and her eyes are opened, and they're seeing the universe, and all of the beautiful, wonderful things. She can see what he sees. And then she sees the terrible things that go along with them. But she's still mostly the same; maybe she's stronger for it. And she slowly turns into him, really, but neither she, nor him, will notice. And then it happens – the big terrible thing that will drive her away. Maybe it's doomsday, maybe she falls in love, maybe she's needed elsewhere, maybe she just can't take it anymore. Maybe she dies.

And then, if he ever sees her again, she's different. In his absence, talking her way out of trouble doesn't work so well. In the real world, she needs to fight. And he's taught her how.

He was the Doctor because he wanted to make people better.

Two years seems to be the limit now. Most of them can only take it for one. Some don't even make it onto his ship before they burn for him. Two years. And he stands there, looking at her. Most of the time, he sees her, in all of her brilliance. But on occasion, he glances briefly, and she's being amazing, and all he sees is a clock, ticking down, grains of stardust running through his fingers. Until she's gone. Another life he's ruined, another person who's become a fighter because he was there and then he wasn't. Another brief interlude in what he realizes is a vast expanse of loneliness over, another person that he can't look at the same way again.

He's constantly aware, and they live day to day. They can't even comprehend that he's comprehending what he is comprehending. Eventually they realize they're a tiny part of his life, of everything, and sometimes it breaks them. The human race is very good at distractions, both for themselves and for him. They need to find themselves important, believe that they are bigger than they are. He shows them everything, and he shows them themselves. They can never go back to the way they were before.

The worst part is that she will always maintain that he has indeed made her better.

But Pond…

He's counting, and, really, she's known him for sixteen years. She's only travelled with him for two, but he's counting again, hours and days rushing by him and stacking themselves neatly, sparkling flecks of seconds assembling into the blue and gold minute, which stack into reddish, oblong hours which, by earth time, move into groups of twenty-four and meld into a circular day, forming into rectangular months. He knows when a year is complete because the stack of months will turn blue for the third time, and he has two of these years now, with change lying by the side, another sparkling shard of time tumbling onto the growing pile with every beat of his hearts. Over two years now. How did she do that?

She has died. She and Rory and River and he, himself have all died. Rory more than...he's really not so good at the not-dying thing. So how are they still alive? Intact? Putting up with this?

How are they not insane, not permanently dead, not vowing vengeance? After River, after their daughter turned out to be an alien, stolen away, and after he failed to find her, how are they still fine with waking up each morning and walking into the center of an alien ship and seeing his face? After Rory was killed by elderly people, died, was erased from time, came back as plastic, killed Amy, came back normal, drowned, and died again? Most people aren't so forgiving.

Amy sees his frown, notices he's been quiet for several minutes, and asks "What's up, Doctor? What's going on in that big alien brain of yours?"

He turns to her and Rory, eyes wide, and cries "Why the hell are you two still here?"

A/N: Sorry if I missed any of Rory's deaths there. Grr, pronouns…I have agonized over that. I also hope the explanation of his time-counting process was not confusing (It made perfect sense to me, but things like that tend to work in my head. For example, the letters c, k, n, v, and z and the number 7 are all varying shades of yellow). Let me know if I need to change or rework any of these things, or other things that I have not noticed.