Paraphrase

by DotTheAmazing

Romeo and Juliet, paraphrased. In my cracky way. But all sticking to the plot! T for the events of the play, such as death, sex, all the normal things in Shakespeare. Tell me if I make a mistake, so I may fix it ASAP!

9. Act Two, Scene Four

I have realized that I made a mistake in my numbering of the chapters, so Act II Scenes III-V are reposted.

This was originally marked as part of Scene III, but is in fact Scene IV.

Romeo is hanging with his biffles again. Benvolio mentions that Tybalt, axe-crazy cousin of Juliet, has challenged Romeo to a duel to the death. Romeo and Mercutio tease each other about nothing in particular. Then, the Nuse walks in with her assistant, Peter. The boys make fun of her, until Romeo finds out Juliet has agreed to get hitched to a dude she has known for less than twelve hours. HOORAY! Benvolio and Mercutio don't hear this. They don't find out about the marriage until the end, in fact. Well, Romeo's some friend, huh... So then, Romeo arranges a time for the wedding, making time from meeting her to marrying her approximately 20 hours. The Nurse goes to tell Juliet this. End scene.

All true. Really, it takes place in less than five days! An entire play! Most think it was years of star-crossed love from afar, but no. Two meetings, twenty hours.