22
Margaret lay in the hospital bed. Weak from both giving birth and losing blood. Her hair still wet and her as eyes full of unshed tears. She watched as Hawkeye paced the floor.
"What do you think they're doing?" Margaret asked. Hawkeye stopped and looked up at her. He didn't know what to tell her. It had only been a couple of minutes since they had taken the babies away.
"Probably checking their vital signs," he said.
"How long should that take?" Margaret asked. Hawkeye walked over and comfortingly grabbed her shoulder.
"I don't know what to say. At least they didn't walk out right away and announce that they died. I mean, it could be a good thing," he said.
"Yeah," she said trying her hardest to think like that. Hawkeye stood there for a moment holding his wife's hand. There was nothing he could do to change what was going on, yet he had to sit back and watch it.
"I'm scared," she said to starting to cry. He took her hand and squeezed it. Before he could say anything, the door opened.
"Doctor Pierce," the nurse called. Hawkeye gave a small reassuring smile to Margaret and then left. He again, closed the door behind him. Standing in front of him was another nurse with his baby in her arms.
"It's a little girl, they both are," she said. Hawkeye smiled down as she stared up at him. She had his mouth, Margaret's eyes, she was a perfect little baby.
"But, this one isn't going to make it," she said. He nervously looked up at her. The hairs on his back stood up. Suddenly it felt as if there were no ground beneath him. That was exactly what he did not want to hear.
"What about the other one?" he asked.
"She'll be fine as long as you take good care of her. They'll bring her in in a few minutes," she said.
"We just thought that you might want to spend some time with this one before she does die," she said. He took her into his own arms.
"Yeah," he said just staring down at her. He could feel a lump in his throat and tears starting to fill his eyes. He decided that he's better take her into so that Margaret could see her. He could see Margaret's eyes light up as soon as he walked in the door.
All she could think was that one baby lived. Her tears of worry changed to tears of joy.
"Come on, bring it over," she said.
"It's a girl," he said staring sadly down at her. Margaret could see the way that he was looking at her and knew that it was bad. She just watched as he carried her over and sat down on the side of the bed.
"What?" she asked getting nervous. Hawkeye just handed her over to Margaret.
"Hi," she said smiling down at her daughter. She took her finger and rubbed it across her little cheek. Hawkeye put his arm around Margaret and pulled the blanket back from the baby's face so that he could see it better.
"I love you," she said with a tear streaming down her face. She knew that there was something wrong. She just couldn't figure out whether it was with this one or with the other one. Either way, she felt an emptiness again. It was similar to the one that she had felt when Serena had died.
"I really do. I love you and I always will. I even loved Serena, and as unfair as this is to her, I'm going to promise you that I won't let the same thing happen to you. Okay?" she asked. Hawkeye looked over at her. He was now starting to get worried. Margaret looked down. He could see it in her eyes that she had found something wrong. She quickly took her hand and put it under the baby's nose.
"Oh God," she said staring in shock.
(Margaret sat there on the bathroom floor with Serena. She was unconscious. Margaret had just called the ambulance and was anxiously waiting. The only thing that kept her from pacing the floor was that Serena was there, just lying on the ground. She was afraid to do anything to her. The back of her head was covered in blood leaving a small puddle on the floor beneath her. Yet, her face looked so peaceful. Margaret simply grabbed Serena's hand and sat there with her as she cried.)
"Oh God," Margaret cried. Her entire body went completely numb. Everything that had been going now felt all to real. Before it all seemed like a nightmare, but now it was real. Margaret just shook her head as she looked down her. She tried to speak, but no words came out. Hawkeye reached over and grabbed the baby. He took her out to the nurse.
"Damn it," he muttered as he went to give her away. His child died right there. He felt the most helpless doctor that there was. He was told that there was no chance, that there was no way that she could make it.
He walked back into the room. Margaret was curled up on her side with the covers pulled up over her shoulder. He went and sat down beside her. He laid his hand down on her side causing her to look over. She then sat up and borrowed her face into his chest. He honestly felt like doing the same thing, but he had remembered what his father had told him. That he had to be there for Margaret. In a lot of ways, he was right. He could just imagine what was going on in her head right now.
Margaret sat there crying into his chest. She was comforted by his embrace, but still hurt. Everything that she was afraid of, happened. She was starting to even wonder if she was meant to be a mother. First Serena and now her baby. There was still the other baby in which she had not even heard about, but figured that she probably didn't want to.
"Hawkeye?" she asked pulling away.
"Yes?" he asked. She just sighed. There was nothing to say. Nothing in the world could be said to bring her daughter back. Yet, she just felt that she had to get his attention. Like she had to say something, just didn't know what it was.
"I know," he said looking. He then looked up and softly smiled.
"But if it does help, the other one. It's a girl, and she's going to make it," he said. Margaret smiled and hugged him. When she pulled away there was a look of betrayal in her eyes.
"So, one gets to live and the other has to die," she said.
"I know," he said not knowing what to say to that.
"I know," he repeated.