23
Margaret sat in the nursery with little Maria. It was the middle of the night on her first night home. Ever since she had come home Margaret had not separated from her. She felt as if she had to be in the same room with her at all times.
Margaret softly hummed as she stood looking over the crib. The only thing allowing her to see Mari was the dull glow coming from the window. As long as she could see her, see was fine. Yawning, she looked back towards the door. It had been a long day, but she couldn't seem to be able to leave the room. The last time that she had left her child, well, her life was left in some one else's hands, and apparently, they weren't the right hands. As much as she could trust Hawkeye and Daniel, she couldn't leave. Especially after the nightmares that she had in the hospital.
"I guess you have a roommate tonight," she said. Margaret looked around and then decided to pull the rocking chair up and sleep in that. It wasn't the most comfortable way to sleep, but it would work. It would have to tonight. She then gathered pillows and arranged them as comfortably as she could.
"Good night," she whispered taking one last glance at Maria before falling asleep.
Hawkeye woke up the next morning to his alarm. Maria started to cry from the noise. He then quickly turned it off.
"Don't worry Margaret, I've got it," he said lifting his head from the pillow. Trying to wake up, he rubbed his eyes.
"Margaret?" he groggily asked. Upon getting no answer he looked over towards her side of the bed. It had untouched. Now he was worried. Hawkeye finally sat up and looked around the room. He was now starting to think clearly. The baby had stopped crying so she must be in the nursery. Even with knowing where she could be, it bothered him that she had never came to bed.
He slid out of the covers and pulled on his robe. He decided that he'd better go find his wife. Venturing across the hallway he noticed that the door was open, which was a good sign. He then walked in to see Daniel cradling Maria while Margaret slept in the chair.
"Some one had a rough night," Hawkeye said observing Margaret. Daniel looked over and nodded. "Probably up with her all night," he said.
Hawkeye went and stood before Margaret. He looked down at her with pity and then towards his father. "I wish she would have gotten me up to help out a few times," he said. Daniel sighed. "Well, lets leave her alone to sleep. I'll take this little one here down to feed her. You just go get ready for work," Daniel said and then smiled at his son. "Okay," Hawkeye agreed and then followed him out of the room.
Hawkeye grabbed his things and was about to walk out of the room and head out to the hospital. Closing the bedroom door behind him, he could hear Margaret from the nursery. "Margaret?" he asked. Setting his things down, he went over and opened the door.
Margaret sat in the chair softly whimpering in her sleep. He jogged his way over to her and knelt down at her side. "Margaret," he called while gently nudging her. Margaret awoke with a jump. Her eyes examined the room as of to see what had really just happened. Her face full of worry and sadness while her eyes filled with water. Calming down, she turned her attention to Hawkeye.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to wake you up," she said. He shook his head. "I've been up. I'm just glad that I was up to wake you," he said. Margaret sighed as she agreed. It was all too much for her at the moment. Her dream was still very real to her and she was having a hard time getting over it. She could still see the images as if they were actually right in front of her. Maria's sisters mad at her. Telling her that they should still be alive today. That she killed them.
"I didn't kill them," Margaret said staring absently down at the floor. Hawkeye just followed her eyes down towards the ground and then looked back up at her. He knew what she was talking about, he didn't even have to ask. But he figured he should to at least get her to start talking.
"Kill who?" he asked. Margaret shook her head. "It's nothing," she said. Margaret then turned to check on Maria. To her surprise she was gone. She had no idea what came over her, but it was a fear that paralyzed her for a minute. A fear that numbed her entire body. Her eyes just about ready to bulge out of her head. "Margaret," he called. She didn't answer. At the moment he wasn't there to her. All she noticed was that crib. That empty crib in front of her.
"Margaret!"
Snapping out of it, she quickly turned to Hawkeye. His hands firmly gripping her shoulders. His face showing nothing but pure concern. She was trying to catch her breathe as her feeling slowly returned. "Yes?' she breathlessly asked. Hawkeye took his hands off her shoulders and stepped back. "Dad took her down to the kitchen to feed her," Hawkeye said. Margaret just blankly stared at him. "Oh," she said and then stood up. With out any other words, she walked out of the room and turned the corner.
Hawkeye just stood there, still confused. He looked over and rubbed his hand over the railing of the crib. This was too much. He could clearly see that Margaret couldn't handle the situation. He wanted badly to help her, just didn't know how.
Margaret walked into the kitchen to find Daniel warming Maria's formula. Her nerves were calmed. All she had to do was see her. She needed to know. "I didn't wake you did I?" Daniel asked .
"No," she absently answered. She walked over and sat down at the table. "You want me to feed her?" she asked. "Sure," Daniel said looking back from the counter. He grabbed the bottle and headed over to Margaret. He handed Maria over and then the bottle. Margaret sat there staring down at the infant as she fed her. Everything so near and dear to her. Everything she wanted, yet so easy to lose.
Hawkeye stepped into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. "I'm going to get going now," he said. Walking over towards her, he thought about how protective she was and wondered how concerned he should be. "Bye honey," he said kissing her forehead. She looked up and smiled at him. "Have a good day," she said. He leaned down and softly kissed Maria on the forehead. "And you be good today," he said.
Hawkeye left the room and Margaret just sat there with Maria. The rest of the day went on without her leaving the baby's side. Where ever one was, it was definite that you would find the other. She wouldn't even leave the room when she would put Maria down for a nap. She just had to be there.