Based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Red-Headed League
Written for the Dreamwidth KakaSaku Adaptation Contest
Rating: T (for suggestive situations – mild, really)
The Spandex League
Chapter Four
It was a misty night. Of course it was misty, Sakura thought to herself. They were on a stakeout waiting for suspicious characters. She smiled to herself. Now who read too many mysteries? From her position under the trees outside the Uchiha compound, she watched as first Kakashi, then Gai-sensei, Umino Ibiki and Tsunade materialized next to her. "Are your agents ready?" Tsunade asked Ibiki.
"They are in place and mic'd," Ibiki said. "Are we sure this is going down tonight?"
Kakashi said, "All the evidence points to 7pm. Ah, and precisely on the dot!" He fell silent. The rest of them followed suit. Presently, they heard banging, and Kakashi said, "Sakura, NOW!"
Sakura's hands formed the familiar layover genjutsu, and all five of them were under the overlying genjutsu of the Uchiha compound. They were not surprised to see a number of people standing around in groups. The banging had come from the skeletal looking tall man Sakura had seen emerge from the cellar door at Neko Onna's house. He appeared to be trying to get everyone's attention.
"There are more of than I thought," Tsunade said. "Ibiki, are you prepared for this?"
"Kakashi informed me early today he thought this might be the staging ground for a takeover of Konoha," Ibiki whispered. I have six squads of Anbu ready, princess. Three here and three at Neko Onna's house. And there are four on standby."
Tsunade smiled grimly. All was ready, now; if the perpetrator would just tip his hand…
"Boss, it's time." With that, all eyes turned to a shaft of light coming from the ground. A door just like the cellar door at Neko Onna's house appeared, and opened. Ibiki stiffened, and muttered into his mic, "Fox in the chickenhouse!"
Tsunade glared at him. "Really, Ibiki? Aesop?"
Ibiki ignored her, continuing to whisper rapid-fire instructions into his mic.
They all stiffened when two figures emerged out of the cellar door. "We found the jutsu, Boss," said the first one.
"Well, where is it?" demanded the tall skeletal man Sakura had identified as the leader earlier.
"H-Here, Boss? With all these people around?"
"Of course, dolt! These are our people! Now hand over the jutsu!" the leader commanded.
"Wait, wait…" Ibiki cautioned lowly into his mic.
Instead of producing a scroll, lightning flashed from his hand and the earth heaved. The 'leader' turned into a block of wood at the table, and the groups of men were vaporized where they stood with mouths hanging open. Then the lightning user fell with multiple barbs in his back.
"A substitute clone and poison barbs?" Sakura wondered.
Kakashi's hand was on Sakura's arm, gripping gently in warning. She controlled her breathing and maintained her layover genjutsu. Soon, another person climbed out of the cellar. This person looked a lot like Hoshigake Kisame, the shark guy that Gai-sensei fought so long ago. Sakura saw Gai sit up straighter in shock, out of the corner of her eye. "Kisame" took an obviously old scroll from his flak jacket and made to open it up.
"Danzo will pay dearly for this," he muttered. His image shimmered, and he became the skeletal man Sakura thought was killed sitting at the table. "Okay, the coast is clear. You boys can come out now."
When nothing happened, the skeletal man stowed the scroll quickly inside his flak jacket and his hands desperately moved to form seals. They never made it.
"NOW!" Both Tsunade and Ibiki shouted at the same time.
Sakura's hands blurred as she dropped the overlay genjutsu. Kakashi was on standby, Chidori crackling. Nara Shikamaru's shadow technique held the skeletal man in place, and Anbu materialized all around him.
"Okay, now bind him with chakra ropes. We'll take it from here, Princess," said Ibiki.
"Thank you. Good work, everyone." As Tsunade watched the Anbu lead away the criminal, she received the scroll he had been after from Ibiki. "Does he look familiar, Gai?"
"I thought at first he was my old enemy Kisame, Lady Tsunade," said Gai. "He looks a little familiar, but I cannot place him. What is his connection to me and to my student besides having an affinity for green spandex?"
Tsunade looked at Kakashi. "Care to explain?" she asked him.
"He is actually related to Kisame, Gai. He is Kisame's brother, who became a missing nin after Kisame's death. He has plotted his revenge on you since that time, and finally came up with The Spandex League to discredit you by getting your student fired from an A-rank mission and also to get in good with a rival faction here in Konoha. I can't name the opposition leader we suspect at this time, but the jutsu he found out about was the forgotten Uchiha jutsu. It was stored in a vault deep under the Uchiha compound which was only accessible from the Cat Lady's house."
"I thought all of the secret passageways had been sealed up in the compound by Anbu years ago," said Sakura.
"Remember the old maps of Konoha we looked at? The Uchihas used to live in the district Neko Onna's house is in. In fact, her house belonged to the head of the clan at that time and he had a tunnel dug from his house to the new site of the clan compound right before it was built. No one else knew about it, and the clan continued to use it until they were wiped out by Itachi," Kakashi said.
"So," Gai said, "this person wanted to have a clear shot at getting the scroll without interference. He targeted me and my student as the deadliest obstacles to the success of his nefarious plan. Then he thought to keep Konoha's master thinker, Kakashi, busy by figuring this out. He didn't count on the Will of Fire though!"
"No he didn't," Tsunade said proudly. "This also clears Lee's record."
"Which we both are most grateful for, Lady Tsunade," Gai said. "The Will of Fire and Konoha's Green Beasts! Yosh!" Gai's trademark smile was the brightest it had ever been. Those close to him resisted the urge to cover their eyes.
"Poor Neko Onno, though! She really thought her recipes were going to be published in that award-winning volume. I imagine she's crestfallen!" said Sakura.
"Actually, her recipes are going to be published, because she's the only one who has somehow laid her hands on 52 versions of the Uchiha's secret recipe for Senbei that used to be made by Uchiha Teyaki at his Uchiha Senbei shop," Tsunade explained. "Konoha has been pining for those crackers ever since. Now they're going to get in a test kitchen with Teuchi and Ayame and keep trying the recipes on people who ate at that shop until they get to one that is closest to the original. She will probably become famous."
Later, as Kakashi walked Sakura home, he asked, "So, that date. Were you serious?"
Sakura stopped and looked up at Kakashi. "I don't make a habit of ogling medically pleasing posteriors for my health," she said grinning.
Kakashi looked down at her, matching her grin. "Ogling returned," he said laughing. "So, I happen to have one of the best volumes in the series on my person. How about a late night literary discussion?"
"I have food, my literary collection, and sake. And my house is clean. My place?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"The game is afoot?" Sakura asked.
"Now, Sakura, that is positively suggestive. Besides, that is my line."
Laughing, the two headed off to Sakura's apartment, thinking they were going to enjoy this new chapter in their relationship.