Disclaimer: The characters of Inuyasha are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, but this story (and Hikari) belongs to me.
Disturbing Realizations
My darling Hikari,
Your father is a wonderful man and I love him very much. He has many very good traits, so why... WHY did you choose his love of battles to inherit? Are you trying to give your mother a heart attack?
Speaking of battles, ferberizing is a way to teach a baby to gradually fall asleep on their own, it is not a method to torture your child.
Your Loving Mama
In the four and a half months since her daughter had been born, they had been lucky enough to not have to fight in any battles. Luck, however, has a tendency to run out.
"We're surrounded," Kagome whispered as she tucked Hikari into the pack Inuyasha carried.
Usually she would take the child and find a good place to keep her protected if they ran into trouble, she wouldn't have to fight. But these chameleon type of demons seemed to blend in with the forest, and Inuyasha's nose was stopped up from defending the last village along the seaside with a demon who used a strong smelling ink. Fighting demons was bound to happen, she knew it, but she still wasn't prepared for it. She was terrified for her daughter.
Making sure the tiny fire rat robe that Inuyasha had made his daughter had her well covered, Kagome secured her daughter quickly. Her fingers lingered over the stitching of flowers along the edges. Her mother had wanted to embroider the fabric, but only Inuyasha had been able to tear through the skin of the fire rat. So the dog demon had learned to embroider so his daughter could have pretty edges on her robe. Embroidery using tiny strips of fire rat skin that had been dyed, something Inuyasha and Kagome had worked hard to figure out how to do. Working with a self healing tough skin was not easy. Kagome had thought that the gift had been sweet when Inuyasha had first presented her with the robes he had worked on so hard, tanning and treating himself (and obviously killing the fire rat himself). But now she was grateful for the protection the robes would give her little girl.
She turned her back to Inuyasha and faced the silent chameleon demons. With Hikari safely between them, Kagome plucked up an arrow and drew the bowstring taught. She let the arrow fly as one of the demons took a swipe at them.
How DARE they endanger her child!
Her body burned with energy and she blazed with an aura of pink energy. One demon instinctively ran. His two not so bright companions were reduced to a bunch of sparkles after Kagome let her arrow fly. That's when she realized the Inuyasha had not yet jumped forward to battle. His sword was drawn, but he had not moved. She heard him telling the demons that they could just turn around and be grateful he let them live, before they were turned to dust as well. It was curious. Kagome took her eyes off the enemy long enough to look at Inuyasha. His eyes were narrowed, nearly glowing, and his hand was twitching. He was... strategizing!
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa!"
The demons apparently chose to believe that Inuyasha was bluffing. But instead of racing towards the demons with his sword drawn he jumped straight up, catching Kagome's hand as he flew. He dropped Kagome on a large overhanging branch and was about to give her Hikari when a sound stopped him.
Hikari was giggling.
His eyes went from battle ready to adoring daddy in a heartbeat.
"Uh oh," Kagome breathed. She reached out for her daughter, but it was too late, Inuyasha was airborne again.
Hikari's squeals of delight echoed through the trees as Inuyasha jumped higher and higher. Kagome would have thought that her husband had forgotten about the fight they were in if he hadn't cut himself and started using Blades of Blood on his enemies. He would launch himself in the air as he attacked from a distance and his daughter giggled and laughed and squealed. Kagome shook her head at them and tried not to smile at them as she continued to shoot arrows at the demons who were still stupid enough to try and attack her family.
It was disturbing, however, to realize that her little girl was laughing more than she ever had... all because of a battle. This didn't bode well.
The last demon fell and Kagome started climbing down the tree. She had a thing or two to say to that husband of her. Such as...
"Are you CRAZY for taking Hikari into battle?"
"She was safe! No one even came near us!"
Kagome made a growling sound stomped around to the back of Inuyasha and she took her disappointed looking daughter from where she was strapped to her father. Then she turned back to Inuyasha and yelled "SIT!" at the top of her lungs. He crashed to the ground.
"And you," she said to her daughter, who looked at her with such big innocent eyes that Kagome began to melt inside, "you... Couldn't you like the little swinging chair your grandma bought you this much?"
Hikari giggled and began babbling in excited babyspeak. "Bay Buh, ma ba da bay buh." Then she shrieked in laughter. "Bay Buh!"
Kagome felt cold inside. Then she narrowed her eyes at the struggling Inuyasha. "If our daughter's first words are 'Blades of Blood', you are in serious trouble!"
Years of habit had Kagome turning her back to the dog demon. But this time she didn't stomp off, which had always been her first reaction. She took a breath and ignored him calling her name and asking 'why'. She sighed. While he couldn't run off was a good enough time to have this conversation as any other. It was a conversation they should have had before, though she wasn't looking forward to it. It was better to have it now then when it was too late and habits would be impossible to break.
What was more disturbing than Hikari loving battle (her father WAS Inuyasha after all, so was it really any surprise?), was the fact that her beloved dog demon was determined to give in to his daughter's every whim. She had heard of people being wrapped around someone's little finger, and now she saw what it was like in person.
"She wasn't in danger, Kagome. I would NEVER put Hikari in danger."
She sighed and sat down next to him, setting Hikari in her lap. "I know that, Inuyasha." And she did too. He would never let any harm come to her, to either of them really, if it was all possible. And lately Inuyasha was thinking and planning, and keeping the danger as far from them as possible while eliminating the threat. He was careful now. "But we have to talk."
The dog demon's body froze, and his eyes widened in fear as he looked at his mate. "Talk?" he squeaked.
"Inuyasha, I love that you love Hikari and want to give her everything she wants... even her very first battle... but as she grows older we have to start being... well... more careful about how many of her demands we give in to. We don't want her to grow up spoiled."
"Why not?"
"Wh... why not? She'd be spoiled, Inuyasha."
"So that means what? She gets everything she wants. I'm okay with that."
"You're... No, Inuyasha. She has to learn that she can't always have everything she wants."
"Why not? She should have everything she wants."
"There are lots of reasons why she shouldn't have every single thing she wants."
Inuyasha's eyes were hard as he looked at her. The expression surprised her. He looked... hurt. She closed her mouth and bit back the reply she was going to make. Then she closed her eyes and had to remember that he grew up fighting for survival. Every meal was one that was paid for in blood. Of course he was going to want his daughter to have everything she wanted, when he had so little and his life had been so hard.
He was freed from the spell, and Kagome pat the ground beside her for him to sit. She let him take Hikari into his arms. Oh, how she loved him. And the love she felt nearly burst her heart as she watched him with their child.
"I don't want our daughter to grow up every knowing hunger, or pain, or hurt either, Inuyasha. But sometimes she is going to want things that aren't good for her. Sometimes we will have to tell her 'no' to keep her safe and healthy. Remember when you ate all the ramen in the pantry and you were sick for three days? Well, that's why you only get one cup. Sometimes Hikari will want something, but it won't be good for her, and we'll have to protect her against that so she won't make herself sick. And if you always take her into battle she won't understand how dangerous it is and might run into a battle when you aren't there to protect her."
"I'll always be there to protect her!"
"You can't know that."
He was quiet for a moment, tickling Hikari under the chin as she gurgled happily. Then he looked at Kagome suspiciously. "Are you trying to trick me in torturing our daughter with Ferberizing?"
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"Feberizing isn't torture, Inuyasha. It's supposed to be a way to teach Hikari to fall asleep on her own."
"I ain't abandoning our pup."
"It's not abandoning, Inuyasha," she said tiredly as she splashed her giggling daughter. Inuyasha was disturbed to find out the Hikari had developed Kagome's unusual fondness for baths. Trips were going to take twice as long, he just knew it. "And I didn't say we WERE going to do it, I just thought we should talk about it."
"What's Kagome talking about?" asked Shippo as he appeared at Inuyasha's side. He had caught up with them just as they neared the water, his babysitting duties done for the afternoon.
"She thinks we should let our pup cry herself to sleep at night."
Shippo was as horrified as Inuyasha had been when he had first heard of it. "Let Hikari cry?" The question was barely a whisper.
"I didn't say that!" Kagome called out from the water. It had been decided that Shippo would start bathing with the men instead of the women. The choice had been hard on Kagome. Inuyasha remembered the sad look in her eyes when Shippo had announced that he was too old to bathe with the women folk. He was a man now. That last little part brought the merriment back to her eyes, and Inuyasha refrained from bopping the kit on the head. "It is a method where you teach her to put herself to bed. Don't pick her up immediately when she cries, but then you go comfort her and stuff. Then the next night you let her cry a little longer... Then over time she doesn't cry when she's put to bed. 'Progressive waiting' is what they call it"
"They torture babies in Kagome's time?" Shippo gasped.
"It's not torture!"
"It's surprising all the babies aren't eaten by wild animals and roving demons," Inuyasha complained.
"INUYASHA!"
Shippo began to cry, louder than Kagome was yelling. "I DON'T WANT KARI TO BE EATEN BY WILD ANIMALS!"
"Wild..." Kagome sounded confused and stopped bathing Hikari, turning her attention to the fox kit.
"She'll think we don't love her and she'll feel lonely and scared and have nightmares and scared and wild animals could be anywhere and hear her cry and think she's alone and think it's ok to come eat her or even demon attacks and she'll be alone and think we don't love her..."
Inuyasha started to tune out Shippo's hysterical outburst. He was much more interested in watching Hikari kick her legs in the water as Kagome held her while using her soft voice and trying to explain about what some doctor in her time said about letting babies cry. The kid had no fear of water. At all. His heart was bursting with pride at his courageous pup. For a moment. Then he began wondering what would happen if she ran and jumped into a river or something when no one was around and drowned! Even if she could swim (and he had no doubt she'd be swimming like a fish in just a matter of days, just look at that kick!), she might not know if there were rocks or sticks or logs or sharp toothed demons lurking under the surface.
"Ain't you been in there long enough?" complained Inuyasha, suddenly fearful of his daughter being in the water.
Kagome was holding a sobbing Shippo who clinging desperately to Hikari, who seemed much more interested in getting back to the water. "We haven't been in here that long, Inuyasha," she said. "Why don't you come on in and join us?"
But he didn't want to join them, he wanted them out of the water. The longer they stayed in, the more fun Hikari was having. The more fun she was having, the more likely she was going to go crawling into the water and drown or be eaten by water demons.
"Out of the water," he demanded. "Hurry."
Kagome noticed the change in his tone and immediately went to shore and set Shippo down. She put Hikari in the fox kit's arms, then grabbed her bow and aimed for the water. "I don't see anything, Inuyasha. Where is it?"
"Where's what?"
"The demon!"
"Demon? There's a demon? Where?" His sword was drawn.
The tip of Kagome's arrow dropped towards the ground, and she turned to him in confusion. "Isn't that why you got us out of the water?"
When Kagome realized there was no demon, Inuyasha got his second 'sit' of the day. This time she did leave him. She took Shippo and Hikari and started back to the village. Probably to go complain about him to Sango. Once the spell freed Inuyasha he followed them. He would have to explain to Kagome what happened. He didn't want to, but he was sure she was going to want to talk about this. He wasn't looking forward to it.
Mostly because it meant that Kagome was right.
Hey Pup,
Don't you worry, I won't let anyone ferberize you. You'll always be safe, so you don't have to worry about being alone or scared or anything. Try not crying so much at night, though. Your brother is having nightmares of wild animals carrying you away. Which they won't, so don't worry.
I don't want to every have to say 'no' to you. I want you to have everything in the world that you want. But I want you safe more than anything. So if I have to say 'no' to you, it is because I'm doing it to keep you safe.
Love, Your Daddy
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Author's Note: I'm sure I had something important to say... but for the life of me I can't remember what. But I did want to thank everyone for your reviews. I do appreciate them very much. You guys really make my day!
I haven't decided how much of Hikari's life I'm going to write about.
