CHAPTER 8:

Where Do I Belong?

"That was fun!" Kahet laughed as he and Bakuub walked around after finishing their game. "Won't your father be mad about you hunting your sister?"

"It's fine, I'll apologize and get her a treat later" he grinned and waved his hand. "So, when are you heading home?"

"When I feel like it, my parents won't mind" he shrugged carelessly.

"I wish my sire was like that" he said in awe. "He's very strict and I must listen like a good pup so I can grow up and follow in his footsteps."

"Mines is. . .my father's kind actually" Kahet said, trying to form his thoughts into a sentence. "He's strict but he lets me have my fun."

"He sounds cool" his friend smiled and patted his shoulder. "You're lucky. Most fathers expect the best from their offspring."

Not my father, he wants to give me the best, Kahet thought.

"Maybe I should go home" he said, feeling homesick.

"Do you know the way back?" Bakuub asked quickly. "I could get-"

"Kahet!" he heard a cold voice snap.

He turned around to see his grandfather glare down at him furiously. He gulped and tried to hide behind his friend but he grabbed his little arm to stop him. His grandfather was usually calm towards him but now, his hawk-like gaze scared him. Most warriors would be on their knees for forgiveness from that look but Kahet just stayed frozen in place from fear.

"You found him, Nak'Aru?" Bakuub's father, Nassor, stated behind him. He was almost as scary as his grandfather in Kahet's mind.

"Yes, my mate called to tell me that my son's pup was missing" he said, coldly. Kahet looked down in shame. "Fortunately, I found him in one of his favorite places. I will take my leave now, Nassor."

Nak'Aru took him away by the arm and Kahet glanced back towards Bakuub. He waved in farewell and his friend happily returned it before being scolded by his own father. Cringing, Kahet hoped he still would be his friend. His grandfather took him straight to the lifts and no one interrupted or even walked five feet within the irritated male's distance.

"Grandfather, I didn't mean to leave" Kahet whimpered softly inside the lift. "I-"

"Save it for your father" he said in a quiet but strict tone. "He will carry out your punishment."

"But-" he started but Nak'Aru's firm glance silenced him. "I didn't mean to cause trouble."

"Children are meant to stay in the home" he stated without looking at him causing his grandson to feel more guilty. "Not go gallivanting as if they were adults."

"I'm sorry" he said upset and suddenly cold despite the warm temperature. He really hadn't meant to upset the whole family with his little outing.

"Kahet, you must always obey your sire" Nak'Aru said in a lighter tone and looked down at him, "Your father looks out for you just like I did for him at your age. This ship is large and you should not be traveling below levels, it's dangerous for you."

"Because I'm a hybrid?" he asked sadly. "I know it's true! They don't like me!"

Nak'Aru watched his grandson struggle with his emotions and rubbed his back gently. In a fatherly tone, he said, "And you must learn to protect yourself by listening to your parents. Keep away from those areas until you're older. Ignore those people for now and listen to what your parents say. One day you'll understand and I know it's hard, especially for a child such as your age."

"Why don't they like me?" he cried as clear tears trailed down his green cheeks. "I look like them! What's so different about me?"

"They're ignorant" his grandfather comforted and used his cloak to wipe his eyes. Despite his cold demeanor, his oldest grandchild held a spot in his heart and he disliked seeing him upset due to his genetic background. Also, Kahet's ability to produce tears unlike his kind made him wonder if he was doing good or worse. Patting his forehead, he said, "Don't cry, Kahet. One day you'll show them that you're better than they. You're only four years old, focus on your childhood games and forget those thoughts for now."

"They'll always be like this" he sniffled softly and heard the lift doors open. "I know it."

Nak'Aru sighed and lifted the upset four year old into his arms while he calmed down. The pup had a wide range of emotions unlike most yautja and he hoped he'd control them over the years before his first Chiva came. Males in their society were not meant to be emotional in any way for it would probably lead to an eventual death while on a hunt. Still, it upset him how residents onboard treating a young child like that nonetheless. He walked in silence until he arrived at his son's door and typed in the override code he and the other Leaders on board were given in case of emergencies. The door opened and he walked in to spot a furious Kantra and worried Iliana without Leitjin, who'd been put to bed. Nak'Aru placed Kahet down and he stared down while his father gave him an angry glance.

"Thank you for finding him, father" Kantra told him gratefully. His father nodded in return.

"Good thing he went to a favorite place, otherwise I don't know where he'd be" he said, simply. "He's perfectly fine, he was playing with one of my colleague's pup when I found him."

"Why did you leave Kahet? Your mother was worried sick!" Kantra scolded his son firmly. "You know better than to leave unescorted!"

"Don't be too hard on him, he needs companionship" Nak'Aru advised his son while watching Kahet wring his hands together in nervousness. "The boy needs to spend some time outside where he can relax."

"He's perfectly fine here, he's just being unruly" he told his father quickly.

"True but why?" Nak'Aru questioned him. "He has no one to play with and hasn't seen his own cousins in weeks. He cannot stay here and feel isolated."

"Is that how you feel?" Iliana spoke up to a shy Kahet. He nodded.

"Seeing he's fine, I'll leave you to carry out Kahet's punishment" the elder male stated and left quietly. Kahet stared at his departing grandfather and hoped his parents wouldn't start yelling.

"How did you leave, Kahet?" his father demanded.

"I used the main key pad" he answered as his hands began to sweat from his anxiety. "I knew the numbers."

Damn, I didn't think about that, Kantra cursed mentally. I'll have to reset the pass code.

"Why would you leave without telling your mother?" he snapped angrily as Kahet looked away from him. "You disobeyed everything we've been teaching you!"

"You never let me do anything!" his son raised his voice in fear and resentment. "I'm always alone now and you only notice me when you want to!"

"That's not true and never raise your voice at me" Kantra growled in a stern manner while his brows furrowed at his disobedience. "You are to never leave here unless you tell your mother and I, those are the rules."

"You never listen, you always forget" Kahet pointed out instantly. "It's all about you and the baby. You don't care about me!"

"If that were true, would we be here worried like this?" his father demanded strictly. Kahet looked down but stood by his feelings. "You're always a part of this family."

"I don't feel like I am" he hissed and pointed at his father. "You don't want me anymore and I don't want to be here!"

"This is your home whether you like it or not!" Kantra growled at the defiant youngling.

"I hate you!" Kahet shouted angrily. "I hate you!"

Kantra stared at his son's outburst in surprise. Was his four year old slipping away from his hand this quickly? He felt a pang of pain in chest but brushed it away quickly. Grabbing his rebellious pup by the arm, he turned him around and spanked his bottom hard as a punishment. Kahet cried out in pain and surprise that his father would actually hit him. His green eyes filled with fresh tears again as he let out a wail in which Kantra turned him around again.

"Don't ever speak that way to me again, you are not the parent" Kantra said, firmly. "You are punished to your room for the week without toys for what you've done. Do no disobey us again, Kahet."

He released his son whom immediately ran away to his room in tears and ignored his mother. Iliana let out an unsteady sigh after hearing what Kahet had told his father. She was sick in worry over him and he had become so defiant in such a short time. She didn't want him to feel that way towards them or for him to think they didn't want him. She stared at Kantra who stood stiffly from the situation.

"Did you have to spank him?" she asked softly as she stood up. "I don't like that form of punishment."

"You're in my society, Iliana" he said firmly as he crossed his arms with his back turned to her. "Pups will be hotheaded and unruly as they age and fathers must prove themselves as the alpha male within the family. I will not have my son acting this way towards us as he grows."

"Don't you think it'll make it worst?" she asked as she went to stand in front of him. "You'll instill fear into him, he could end up really hating us. Human children-"

"Our child is not ooman, he is from this culture!" he snapped at her. "He follows the way of our people and I will carry out the parenting and punishments of my kind."

He did not just snap at me, she thought irritated.

"And I'm human and we agreed to set up our punishments together" she said firmly as she glared at him. "Our children are half-human so you can't expect them to act like a yautja completely! And don't ever snap at me again or I'm kicking you in the balls."

Why can't she just follow our codes?, he thought.

"Mates are not supposed to interfere in punishment matters" he justified and hissed lightly.

"I'm not your average mate, Kantra" she said coldly causing him to sigh.

"I don't want to fight, Iliana" he said, raising a hand quickly. She narrowed her eyes and stayed silent. "Our son disobeyed us and I gave him a light punishment. Other fathers do worse than spank their children."

And he better not try to fit into that category, she thought.

"If you ever do that, I will leave you" she said in a quiet tone. He stared at her in surprise. "I want my children to have a firm but loving father. Unless they're trying to kill us, I don't want you bruising my sons in any way."

Iliana didn't want to say what she did but she needed to make it clear. Humans were abusive to their children in some cases and knowing the fierceness in most yautja males, she knew it would be worse for children here. She also knew her mate's loyalty to her as well as to his people and didn't want to make him choose between them.

"I would never cause my children pain but Kahet needs to know that he cannot get away with the trouble he causes" Kantra explained carefully. "What kind of example would I set if I let him think his actions have no consequences? I am not ooman and I will not act like one of your kind when it comes to parenting."

"I hate to see him cry like that" she said softly but nodded in agreement. "You're right on that part but. . .do you think he'll hate us for it?"

"It's part of parenting, Iliana" he sighed and wrapped his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his bare chest. "We must teach him between right and wrong. It hurts now but he will thank us when he's older. I don't want my son turning into a ruthless Bad Blood one day."

"I know, my love" she said, closing her eyes to hear his heartbeat. "Maybe he'll find a witty human to fawn over?"

Kantra smiled at her joke but said, "I was an exception. Many Bad Bloods out there are lethal and will not care for anyone's life. They will slaughter anyone in their way without a care."

So much for a lighter situation, she thought.

"Talk to him, please" she pleaded softly. "Make him understand that we love him. I hate the idea that he told you he hated you, I know he doesn't."

I can't believe it either, he thought. Most fathers would disown their pups in an instant for a comment like that.

"He's our pup, how can it not hurt?" he said softly and closed his eyes to forget it. Iliana reached up to caress his face with her hands to comfort him. "Is our little one changing this quickly?"

"He loves us like we love him, we must ensure him of that" she said firmly. "Go to him while I fix him something to eat. He has to be starving after being gone so long."

Leave it to her to put everyone first except herself, he thought tenderly.

"I love you" he smiled and leaned down to kiss her gently. She returned it as she traced her soft fingertips through his hair. Letting her lips go, he said, "I hate it when we fight. I'm used to us agreeing on most things together. I know this cultural border between us will come up throughout our lives but you are in my culture now. You cannot fight our society's way because it clashes with your own. Being your mate, I will overlook things because of our differences but there are some things that I must enforce in our children."

He's right, I chose to live here and I must live like them, even if I may not like some things, she thought and sighed mentally. This is their world, not Earth.

"You're right and I understand your point" she said and pecked him on the cheek. "Go."

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Kahet stared out of his window at the stars passing by as the Ade'k'ra moved through space. His eyes were puffy while he had a fur pelt over his shoulders as he swung on his hammock gently. He didn't want to go outside after what his father had done to him and didn't want to see him either.

I was right, they don't care, he thought grimly. They just want me out of the way.

"I should leave and make them happy" he whispered sullenly as his eyelids drooped in sorrow. "Then they don't need to worry."

Leitjin will make them happy for me, he thought as he held the pelt tighter. I'll run away where they can never find me.

"Then he won't hit me again" he cried and watched the stars again. "I'll find somewhere I can belong. Where people will like me for me."

I'll be replaced like I thought, his mind determined. They'll forget me. No one likes me anyway.

"All the children call me names" he whimpered sadly. Remembering the names that began when he wanted to play with a group of children when he was two years, he cried, "I hate them."

I hope pups don't pick on Leitjin too, he thought. It's not fair.

(Flashback)
2 years ago. . .

Kahet played in the gardens with his one year old twin cousins. They were all still small so they played with a feather light ball together on the grass. Sri'shan tossed it to Kahet gently who threw it towards Sau'Nak, who fell down after catching it.

"Good try" Kahet smiled at him and his cousin smiled back.

Another ball crossed into their path and the three children stepped aside. A group of four pups who looked only a year above Kahet came looking for the ball. Kahet picked it up and gave it to one of them.

"Here you go!" Kahet said, politely. Then smiled, "Would you like to play with us?"

"We haven't seen you around here before" one of them said suspiciously.

"I'm at home a lot" he said sheepishly. "I'm Kahet, son of Kantra and Iliana."

"Kantra? Wasn't he a Bad Blood?" another hissed to his friends. "My mother says he killed a hunter in his group."

What's a Bad Blood?, Kahet thought confused.

"I heard his mother's ooman!" another added making all of them stare at Kahet, who winced nervously.

"What's wrong with that?" Kahet asked, defensively.

"We don't play with half-breeds" the tallest of the four stated disdainfully. "Filthy blood like yours isn't worthy of the clan."

"Why don't you go find a Kainde Amedha to play with?" another taunted.

"I can play anywhere I want!" Kahet shot back angrily. "You don't tell me what to do!"

"A pup sired from a Bad Blood and prey isn't worth anyone's time" another snorted as they turned to leave. "Disgusting hybrid!"

Kahet watched them leave in silent shock at the words they'd called him. Why were they so cruel to him? He didn't do or say anything bad to them! He whined softly as Sri'shan gave him the ball and smiled.

"Kahet" he purred and patted his arm.

Hearing footsteps head towards his door, Kahet jumped up quickly and scampered over to his bed to hide underneath it. He crawled all the way to the back of it where he could hide in the shadows and dried his eyes with the back of his hands quickly. His door opened and he stared as a pair of feet, obviously his father's, entered the middle of the room.

"Kahet, come out" his voice ordered gently. "I want to talk to you."

He'll hit me again, Kahet thought in fear. I'll stay here until he leaves.

His father walked around the room as he watched him go through his things. After a few minutes, he thought he'd leave until he kneeled at the side of his bed and poked his head underneath it to look at him. Kahet covered himself with the pelt but knew it was no use since his father saw in the heat spectrum unlike him.

"Don't hide, Kahet, come here" his father said gently. Kahet shook his head behind the pelt quickly.

"No, you'll hit me" he said and pressed himself against the wall more. "Just leave me alone."

"When a child disobeys, they have to be given a punishment so they learn that they're not supposed to do that" Kantra sighed as he explained. He saw his son shake lightly as he tried to keep away from him. "I'd never hurt you-"

"But you did after your promises!" he accused quickly.

"It's to teach you responsibility for your actions" his father lectured him. "I didn't like hitting you more than you did but you must learn to behave and respect your mother and I as your parents."

Kahet's young mind didn't understand as he stated, "But I came back!"

"We didn't know where you where, son" his father said, worry etched into his voice. "What if something happened to you and you couldn't get help? How could I find you when you left without a word?"

Kahet glanced down in guilt as his father's words began to sink in. He supposed it was a little careless but he wanted to be free and have fun. He'd never felt more alive in the last few hours but what if his father had been right and something bad had happened?

Someone could have hit or taken me away, he thought.

"I'm sorry" he said, softly. "I won't do it again."

"You scared me today, Kahet" Kantra said, sighing in deep concern. "If something happened to you, I don't know what I would do. You're my son and I'm meant to protect you from harmful things in the world until you can do it yourself. You can't run away just because you're upset, it could lead to dangerous results. I don't want to lose you one day, son."

Kahet nodded and put his pelt down on the floor. Deciding to trust his father on his word, he said, "You were scared? But you're a grownup."

"We can get scared too" his father chuckled lightly and sat on the floor in order to see him better. His son crawled gently towards him and saw his round face peek at him nervously. Kantra purred softly at him, "You're my pup and I expect to know where you are so I can look after you. You will always be important to me, I don't want you thinking that I don't care because I do. You're my oldest child and as you grow up, I plan to guide you and you may not like it at times but I do it because I want the best for you."

"Will you hit me again?" he asked, fearfully.

"Only when you disobey your mother and I" he said, unfortunately. Kahet sulked and got worried instantly so he began to crawl away. "That's why you must listen to us. You've always been a great child, Kahet. Talk to me, what's wrong?"

Kahet stared at his father apprehensively. What if he said something he didn't like and yelled? Shaking his head quickly, he moved back causing his father to sigh, "Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you."

"But you did and it hurt" he whimpered and felt his throat tighten. "The kids who don't talk to me don't even do that."

Damn pups, why do they have to bother my little one?, he thought regretfully. He looks entirely like them.

"I know it hurt and I'm sorry it did" Kantra sighed and realized Iliana was right in her opinion. "Come here, Kahet. I don't want you getting ill from being on that cold floor."

Kahet nodded since his legs felt chilly and crawled out cautiously. His father picked him up and stood so he could sit on the warmer bed instead. He wrapped the pelt around his son to keep him warm and held him on his lap. Purring to him, he held him close to make him feel secure.

"Why did you run, son?" he asked gently.

"No one wanted me to be with the baby" he answered quietly. "I wanted to leave because no one would miss me."

"Of course we'd miss you, you're part of this family" Kantra said smiling down at him. "I'm sorry that we've been busy with Leitjin and haven't been there for you much, I really regret that. But running away is never the answer, I'm here to talk to if you ever have a problem."

"I feel lonely now" Kahet admitted sadly. "No one listens to me. I don't have friends. The twins do because they're full breeds. No one here likes me, father."

My poor pup, he's too young for this, Kantra thought.

"It's not your fault so never feel guilty" he said firmly as his son sniffled. "Play with your cousins for now and over the years, people will forget and you'll have many friends."

"You think so?" he asked, hopeful. His father nodded.

"You will, you're a good boy, Kahet" he said gently. "You'll grow up to be someone respectful and in turn, honorable people will seek your friendship because of it. The people who shun you now will regret it as they see you rise among the ranks."

"I hope so" Kahet whispered but smiled. His father purred softly and he listened to calm himself as well as feel safe in his arms again.

"Would you like to go eat?" his father asked, patting his head. "Your mother fixed you a meal."

"Am I still punished?" he asked, giving him a weak smile. His father nodded making him sulk and cross his arms. "No fair."

"How about I take you to the gardens after your punishment is done?" Kantra compromised playfully with his son. "And we can go splash in the pools afterwards."

"Really?" he asked, enthusiastically. "After everything?"

"Yes, you can start learning how to swim" his father grinned making Kahet grimace. "It'll be fun and educational!"

"Umm. . .great" Kahet said, suddenly uninterested. His father chuckled and he smiled towards him, "I love you, father."

"I love you too, son" he smiled appreciatively and hugged his son tightly. "Always."

"Daddy, I can't breathe" his son wheezed out.

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End of Chapter 8. And Kahet learns freedom doesn't come without consequences. Thanks to my last reviewers and thanks for reading as always!