Ziva-

You said his name! Good girl! And I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time in Israel. Hopefully it will get better. Can you believe that it's already been five weeks since we've been away from each other? Gibbs doesn't seem to be doing anything to get us back though, which is really scary, for me at least. Tony apparently has been deployed to another ship; he's not on the USS Ronald Regan anymore. His address has obviously changed as well, so I don't have it anymore. But don't worry, I will have it when he sends Abs another letter. I miss you guys terribly. Abby made it worse by crying today. Maybe you should talk to her. Is there anyway that you could contact her via MTAC? Gibbs doesn't know what to do with himself. I heard him yelling at Vance today about you and Tony and I. Okay, Ziva, make me feel better. Tell me what happened when you and Tony went home. Did you two finally make up? Finally make-out? Finally admit your feelings for each other? Finally sleep together? Finally HUG? Have you ever hugged? Ever? I thought you two were best friends! You've hugged me, you've hugged Abs (but so has everyone), you've hugged Gibbs, you've hugged Ducky…why not Tony? You are best friends! So what did you two do? It's eating me on the inside that I don't know what you did. Do you really want me to ask Abs to ask him what happened?

-Probie

p.s. About the hairy butt comment…I don't even want to know.

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How he became so mean, he didn't quite understand. It scared him how much he acted like Gibbs on the USS Seahawk.

"Agent Afloat!" A crewman by the name of Brad yelled. Tony could feel his lip snarling up in anger.

"Shut the hell up!" He shouted, reaching for his gun. He wanted to shoot them all, so badly. So what if he was an Agent Afloat? An Agent Afloat who wanted nothing more than to jump ship? An Agent Afloat who yelled at everyone? An Agent Afloat who never slept because he was too busy thinking of her? But all in all, he was just an agent afloat who wanted to go back out onto the field.

"He's gonna shoot! He's gonna shoot! Run, man! Run!"

"You shoot that gun, I shoot you."

He turned around and faced Captain Richard Evans.

"Look, I was just-"

"I don't care. Listen, Agent DiNozzo, you may not like it here, but you're going to have to deal with it." He put a hand on his shoulder. Rather awkward, Tony had to admit that, "Have you been sleeping?"

"No, sir." Tony said, and the Captain wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"What the hell have you been eating? Or drinking? Is that whiskey?"

"Yes, sir."

"DiNozzo! You know the rules about drinking on the ship!"

"I know, sir. I also know the rules about harassing a federal agent. I could arrest this whole ship right now if I wanted to, including you. So if you don't mind, sir, I'm going to go back to my duties." And with that, he shrugged off the captain's hand and walked away. Okay, more like stalked away, but it didn't matter. It wasn't like Tony to have no one on the ship like him, not even the women! Granted, the few women on the ship weren't attractive, but it didn't matter anyways. He would never sleep with anyone after his and Ziva's session that night. Ever. that would be betraying her. If someone even as hot as Jessica Alba walked up to him and wanted to have sex with him, he wouldn't do it. Betraying Ziva would be the most guilty thing he'd ever done. He knew what it felt like to be hurt by someone he loved. Ziva was already sensitive with her feelings...he couldn't bear to break them. Besides, he father was probably doing a good job at that right now.

He walked into the galley, his stomach growling as a thousand eyes turned to stare at him, shielding their food from him as they glared. He rolled his eyes, got the disgusting slop, and then sat down next to one of the few people that was actually nice to him on the ship.

"Hey, Tony. How are you?" Chet said, popping a piece of bread into his mouth and smiling at him. Tony smiled back.

"Hey, Chet. Horrible. I want off this ship!" Tony sighed, "Hey, you got any good movies?"

"Uh…we're not allowed to watch movies on the ship."

"Then what do you do for fun?"

"Uh…we play poker. Which we aren't allowed to do anyways, but that's easy to cover up."

"No movies?" Tony asked in disbelief, "Damn, I don't know how I'm going to survive! Though the boss wouldn't mind that much. He hates my movie quotes…the probe…I don't know what he would do. He'd probably even go more crazy than he normally is! And Ziva-" Tony stopped. He looked down at his food as the smile that was forming on Chet's face fell.

"What's wrong? Who's Ziva?"

"Ziva?" Someone asked, from another table. Tony recognized him as the same person that started the 'be afraid of the agent afloat' scheme, "Zeeevahh….who the hell is Ziva? I heard the agent afloat say her name." The whole galley went quiet, and Tony could feel his blood boil inside of him, "I didn't think that that little shrimp could get someone to date him…" Tony clenched his hands together in a fist, "She must be one ugly woman." Everyone started to laugh, causing the sailor to gain even more confidence, "Or he drugged her. What does-" And that was when Tony's fist collided with his jaw, sending him flying across the table and onto the floor. He quickly stood up and took a shot at Tony, but missed, smacking someone else in the face. They stood up as well, taking shots at each other. Tony shoved the man, whom he thought was in fact named Tommy, up against the wall, "She's my girlfriend," Tony snarled, causing the whole galley to stop and turn to look at him.

"I doubt it. I want proof."

"Fine! You want proof…I'll get you proof." And Tony stalked out of the galley, Chet following behind him.

"What the hell were you thinking? You could have gotten your ass kicked off of this ship!"

"Good." Tony replied, dryly, walking down the hallway towards 'NCIS'.

"Hey, am I going to be the first shipmate to see your cabin?"

"Yup." Tony said, opening up the door and revealing the mess that was in fact his cabin. He quickly stowed away the whiskey bottle that was on top of the desk from last night, or this morning, he didn't know, and shoved it into the closet.

"So where's this 'proof'?" Chet asked, looking around the cabin as he started to clean up, shoving clothes and other things everywhere. He looked at his desk and gave a wolf-whistle, "Whoa. Tony, dude, is this her?" He asked, pointing to the pictures on his bulletin board, "This is the famous Ziva." He said as he leaned closer to the board. Tony stopped what he was doing and looked up at his friend, "She's something, Tony."

"Mossad Israeli."

Chet's eyes went wide, "Seriously?"

"Mossad…assassin."

"Damn, Tommy's gonna just shit right on the spot when he sees this. We gotta show him these…"

"No! NO! You can't, Chet!"

"This is proof!"

"I don't-"

"When am I gonna meet her?"

"Probably never. I need to get off this ship…" Tony groaned, "I need off. I'm gonna go insane!"

"Well you wanted to know what to do for fun…let's tell Tommy about the pictures…all right?"

And in a total of three minutes and sixty-five and a half seconds, that was when the stampede into Tony's little, cramped quarters began. Tony glared at Chet as he watched his shipmates, who apparently had hated his guts before, drooling like dogs over the pictures of her, complementing Tony on his taste in woman, and all he could think was…

Zi's gonna kill me.