As she woke up after the accident, all she could hear was a deaf roar. Looking around the room at the white walls she felt the pit of her stomach drop. She was in a hospital, what the hell had happened. A million thoughts flashed through her mind and she felt her throat close up. Reaching over and pressing the call nurse button she waited for some answers to come.

As the nurse entered the room, she could see the pity written on her face and Kris felt fear fill her entire body. She had so many questions. What had happened? Was Junior OK? Was she OK? The nurse, noticing her fear, seemed to only look more upset.

"Would you like the good news or the bad news first?" The nurse asked. Kris looked at her with tear filled eyes, reading her name tag she found the name Julie. "Well, Julie, how about the good and then the bad."

Julie nodded her head before she continued. Julie looked at her sympathetically then gave her the good news. "Good news is, you're stabilized and you and the baby are both going to be ok. You gave us quite a fright there; we thought you might have miscarried."

Kris was confused, the baby? What baby, she wasn't pregnant, she couldn't be. Her and Junior and always been safe, well except for that one night. As images of the night before he left flashed behind her closed eyes, Kris could feel a slight blush creep on her cheeks and she smiled.

"The bad news, well I hate to tell you this Kris, do you know why you went into shock?" Kris looked around her slowly and carefully shook her head no. "Kenneth Davis Junior was in a plane accident." Images of the phone call seemed to flutter behind her closed eyes. "I'm sorry." Kris sat there considering what she had just told her. As the realization of what Julie meant hit her like a ton of bricks, sobs racked her body.

Waking up to people hunched over you, staring at you is not what she expected. She could feel a faint throb in the back of her head and could feel her throat burn with a scream she wanted to let out. Tears filled her eyes at the image she saw before she had passed out. She wanted more than anything to believe it was a dream, a hallucination of her mind.

Reaching for her things, she found them scattered about the aisle. All Kris could think was everyone is staring, staring at me. She ignored the questions of her well being and fought the urge to run, to run away from everything and anything.

Leaning over and placing her head in her lap, she tried to take deep breaths. Tried so hard not to cause a scene, but no matter how hard she tried her brain couldn't stop the thoughts that entered. She couldn't stop the unbelievable pain that filled her body and everything went black again.

Anger filled her and she felt herself begin to sob again. She didn't get to say goodbye. He had left in the morning before she had awakened. Thinking about the tiny baby that now lay inside of her she placed her hand on stomach and rubbed it. Tears dripped down her face as she silently wished she would have had a chance to see the look on his face when he found out. Junior would have made such a wonderful dad she thought. Her thoughts were again interrupted by a knock on the door. Rolling over she ignored it and clenched her eyes tight, clinging to any memory that she could.

His beautiful smile popped into her head and she thought about the way he held her in his arms. The way they kissed. Thoughts filled her mind of their sinful nights and blissful days filled with love. Now she was empty and alone. Her eyes welled and filled with tears and she realized she would never see that smile again. Never feel his arms around her again. She had lost her sense of home. Lost a part of her soul.

No matter how hard she tried to block out hateful thoughts out of her head she couldn't stop the anger at herself and god for letting this happen to her. If only. There were so many ifs and buts. Guilty and angry that's what she felt, breathed. Her eyes closed as pain filled her body. Assuming it was from the accident she hit her morphine button. When it didn't go away she knew, knew what she could never say, the pain she would always carry for him.

Waking slowly Kris kept her eyes closed as she heard people talking around her. She had never seen the picture before; it had been just too hard to look at it after the accident. It had been impossible to look at, she didn't want to know. She didn't want the questions and thoughts that came with seeing the image to haunt her but it was too late now.

She wondered how they had gotten the picture and how they had the right to publish it. Who in their right mind wanted to see something so horrible, so breathtaking in its devastation? She had avoided this moment, avoided the news and anything else after the accident. But there is was, the picture of the charred and mangled plane, tainting her memories. Forever burned in the back of her retinas.