Revenge is a dish best served …
This might turn into a series of one-shots/drabbles, depending on what you think of this little piece. :)
The three of them on the floor, each focused on the bottle of shiny liquid in Hermione's hands. The boys had been trying to convince Hermione that what she was about to do was a very bad idea, but for some reason, she wasn't listening.
"Hermione, are you sure this isn't a bit … drastic?" Harry asked, though he already knew her answer. Once Hermione Granger set her mind on something, there was no going back.
"Nope," she replied, tired of the chat. They'd already had this conversation yesterday, and it hadn't changed anything then, so she didn't see why it would change anything now. Anyway, it was too late. Her plan was already in motion. The bottle she held was just a decoy.
"Just stop and think for a minute. This isn't like you. If he finds out-"
"You mean 'when'," Hermione said, interrupting Harry, "when he finds out."
The boys looked at her, shocked.
"And, you're sure you're okay with that?" Ron questioned carefully, not quite believing what she had just said.
"Do you really think I'd do it if I weren't prepared for backlash?"
"No, we don't, but still … are you sure?" Ron asked hesitantly.
"Yes."
The boys looked at each other, both thinking exactly the same thing – what the hell had Snape done?!
A few hours later.
Hermione had been sitting comfortably in their chambers, curled up reading the latest Potions Monthly journal when it happened. She'd purposely left their bedroom door ajar so she could hear everything.
"Hermione Granger! What have you done? This isn't my usual, what the -" Severus trailed off, then started to curse in a variety of different languages.
Even if she wanted to, she couldn't've stopped the tears of mirth from falling if she'd tried as she listened to Severus' unintelligible shouts coming from the bathroom. Hermione suspected the reason he had yet to storm out of the bathroom demanding her hide was that he was frantically trying to wash off the bubbles. Well, he was going to be in for a very rude awakening! The body wash had been infused with a temporary sticking charm, and it would only dissolve after the other charms took hold. Honestly, Hermione was quite proud of herself as it had been a difficult charm to apply considering the viscosity of the liquid, but she'd managed it.
"Oh, Severus, if you play with fire, you are going to get burnt. That's what you get for vanishing all my pairs of knickers in a huff and complaining about my new shampoo," she muttered, turning to the next page in the journal. "Oh, cosmetic potions!" she exclaimed, amused by the irony.
"What is that smell? Oh god … BUBBLE GUM! BUBBLE GUM BODY WASH … HERMIONE!"
Ah, he'd finally figured out the scent! The accompanying shriek of despair set Hermione's giggles off again. She grabbed her stomach as it cramped painfully and tried to remember to breathe through the laughter.
She wondered if Severus had figured out her other charms yet - he knew she'd been working on a range of scented sparkly bath bombs. But Hermione was curious if he'd also clocked that he'd smell like bubble gum for the day - temporarily, of course. She didn't have a death wish. It would be unseemly for the Head of Slytherin to walk around looking like a glittery pink flamingo and smelling of candy. But like any true Slytherin wife, she would let him find out that fact for himself. There was no sense spoiling the surprise when she'd put so much work into it!
Oh, this was going to be fun, she thought after her laughter had subsided, very fun indeed.