Doubts

A/N- thanks for all the reviews you guy's rock (and make me want to write!)!!

Now… on to the chapter:

"So" she asked "how did hanging out with Junior go?"

"Better than expected, considering" Matt replied "the past."

She nodded her head while looking at him.

"You don't still love her do you?" Dani questioned him.

He looked at her for a moment contemplating his response.

"Do you want the honest truth?" he asked.

She nodded her head yes in response.

"I think that I probably always will love her in some way."

"I figured" she replied quietly.

"Dani," he stated "I love you! I love everything about you. Just because Kris is back in my life doesn't mean she is going to take your place. She is like a sister to me now. Kris and I have a past; you and I have a future."

He watched as tears brimmed in her eyes as she replied "I love you too."

Their lips met in a kiss as tears slowly fell down her face and onto his shirt.

"Thank you," she stated.

"For what?" he asked.

"For loving me." She replied.

--

The drive home had been long and ridiculously quiet, leaving her plenty of time alone with her thoughts.

Their kisses from that morning were ingrained on her brain and each time she closed her eyes she could picture his face as he looked at her lying next to him.

Reaching her hand up she gently brushed her fingertips across her lips which still tingled from his kisses. God, how she had missed that, missed him.

She had wanted, more than anything, to stay lying in bed curled up together and to forget the outside world. But she had learned better and knew that the world always caught up with you no matter what.

She had hated to leave him but she realized that he and Matt had needed to talk for both his and Matt's sake.

They had all made mistakes in the past, and she hoped that those very same mistakes wouldn't affect the rest of their lives.

Looking down at Jason, whom she held in her arms, she realized that he had slowly fallen to sleep. She had missed him, missed this and she instantly knew that she would take him back with her.

Pablo and Jean were already asking to see him again, and Matt and Dani constantly asked her about him. He needed to see his family again.

Plus, he needed to meet his daddy.

--
After Matt had left he had decided to continue to walk along the paths behind Raintree silently hoping that something would trigger his memory.

He was happy that he had gotten to talk to Matt and to clear the air, but he couldn't help but feel like he was missing some important fact.

He came across a field and walked a little ways before feeling tired and sitting down.

"Nice rendezvous spot" he stated.

"It's where we first fell in love" she replied.

He remembered the time they had met here years before when they were first dating.

She had come running to him and had launched herself into his arms and into his passionate embrace.

He looked over and the woman sitting in front of him and smiled at the memory before leaning in and kissing her.

"I know I messed up letting this geothermal work stuff getting in the way, I'm sorry."

She looked a bit away from him and nodded her head, and he knew he had hurt her.

"Do you still want to marry me?" he asked.

She ducked her head and silently shook it no, trying not to laugh.

He knew she was teasing him, but he silently wondered if there was some part of her that really felt that way.

She started to laugh before replying "yes," and leaning in and kissing him.

Something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he got up and walked over, looking down at the tombstone that bared his name.

It had been a long time since he had felt like he had been sucker punched in the gut, but as the air left his lungs at the sight in front of him that was exactly how he felt.

He could feel tears, but not for himself but for her. She had buried him here, a place so important to both of them and it made his heart ache.

--

It had taken her a little while to pack a bag for herself and Jason, but she was still on the road in record time.

Looking back at him through the rear-view-mirror she noticed that the movement of the car had lulled him back to sleep, at least for the time being.

"Tell me this doesn't feel right."

Her heart started to beat faster as her mind went back to the events of the morning. She couldn't help but question her decision to leave.

What if she had stayed?

'No,' she told herself 'let's not let our mind go there because inevitably it goes back to that night.'

She leaned her head down and nuzzled his neck as she whispered an "I'm sorry" into his ear. He silently nodded kissing her before pulling his t-shirt off of her, throwing it on the floor.

Her breathing was rapid and she pulled over to the side of the road. Looking back to check on Jason once more she noticed that the stopping of the car had not woken him.

"I see you."

Closing her eyes, she pictured him that night, the way that he had looked at her and the way he had kissed her and she had kissed him back.

That had been their first real kiss, and had changed everything between them.

"Thank you for doing this, I don't know many guys that would."

"Maybe you need more friends," he retorted.

She could feel her pulse rise as she looked at him, god did she miss him.

"Maybe I need to be nicer to the friends I already have," she replied.

That had been the night Flame had been conceived by Wildfire and Belladonna. If she hadn't gotten "distracted" it never would have occurred.

"What was that?" she asked.

"A horse, can you believe it," he asked.

"That sounded like Wildfire." She stated.

"He's fine, you just left him," he replied as he leaned over and kissed her again while slowly leading her back to the bed in the back of the trailer.

She smiled then, thinking about how even back then they had a hard time controlling themselves around each other.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breathe and put the car back into drive.

Merging back into traffic she silently scolded herself for letting her mind run away. She still had a long drive and she needed to be focused.

Taking a drink out of a bottle of soda she had grabbed she put her attention back onto the road.

--

She looked at the man lying next to her as her mind drifted to RJ.

She knew it wasn't fair to ask him about Kris, because he knew that sometimes she still thought about RJ.

The fact that he had been so honest had been surprising to her, after all Kris' rejection had been one of the hardest things he had ever had to go through.

Their relationship had started as a way for each of them to get over someone, him Kris and her Noah.

Looking back now, she knew the moment that they had kissed on that porch swing that things were never going to go back to the way they used to be.

Together, they had gotten over the hurt of the past and had formed a strong bond for the future. So why was it that now, when Kris was back in their lives, that she felt the most insecure about their relationship?

It wasn't that she didn't trust him, she did. But she couldn't help the thoughts that he had cheated on Gillian with Kris. But Kris wouldn't do that to her, would she?

It was like a never-ending circle in her brain.

But, on the other hand, Kris had Junior back and there was no way she would cheat on him.

Looking at the man next to her again, she realized that he had woken up in the short time she had been staring off in space.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied "go back to sleep."

He looked at her before replying "I know you better than that Dani, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking about RJ," she lied.

She watched as he closed his eyes and looked away and she instantly knew that she had probably hurt him.

"Matt," she stated.

He slowly got out of bed and put on some clothes before he spoke.

"I get it Dani, I really do. He was the love of your life, but do you need to constantly rub that in my face?"

"Matt," she replied "I didn't mean it like that, really."

"Then how did you mean it Dani?"

"You are still in love with Kris," she stated.

He looked shocked for a moment before replying "so that's what this is really about."

"I'm sorry," she stated.

"Dani," he continued "I told you that I think of her like a sister, but you just don't seem to get it. Kris is happy with Junior and I am happy for them. They were always right for each other; it just took me awhile to see."

She could feel the tears coming as she looked away from him.

"I see the way you look at her Matt, I know you think I don't but I do."

He looked angry, angrier than she had seen him in quite awhile.

"Dani," he whispered "you're wrong. Until you see that I am not sure that this can continue."

She could feel the air escape from her lungs as more tears fell.

"Are you saying what I think you are saying?" she asked.

"You need to figure out your insecurities Dani, every time we get into a fight you throw Kris back in my face. Do you see me doing that with RJ? No, because I love you and I don't want to hurt you."

She opened her mouth to speak but he continued.

"You see something that you want to see but that isn't there, Dani that I can promise you. We can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this. It's destructive."

She could feel tears slowly falling down her face as she looked at him.

"I need some time to think," she whispered.

"I think," he stated "I am going to go for a walk."