Chapter 57-A battle of conscience

A/N- Well here it is Chapter 57 ready for your reading pleasure! Please review and let me know what you are thinking! Thanks to all of you who are dedicated readers and are constantly encouraging me and letting me know what you think… it really means a lot to me!

Kris pulled up to the gate of Raintree and stopped her car. She sat for a moment staring up at the metal sign. She closed her eyes and pictured the day she had first arrived, so scared and yet so thrilled at the aspect of a new life.

She looked at herself for a moment in the rear-view mirror, trying to remind herself that she was no longer that lost girl. She looked to the empty car seat in the back and knew that she should have picked up Jason before she came.

She could feel her body shake at the thought of telling the people she loved that once again she was leaving them. Her heart pounded in her chest and she could still feel the remnants of tears bristling at her eyelids.

She would eventually chicken out and leave, she had known that from the moment she had started to drive the long trek here, but she had to at least try. She sat for just a moment more before starting the car once again and shifting it into reverse.

The moment the car was in motion she knew where she was going, and while the thought of spending time there scared her it somehow also soothed her. She pulled up to the open field where so many memories had occurred, both good and bad.

Instead of making the trek to the tombstone that had somehow become familiar to her and etched into her brain, she instead made her way towards a small open area with a large rock. Kris gently plopped down into the familiar position and closed her eyes.

"Stop it Kris," she told herself softly as she felt her eyes bristle with more tears "you are stronger than this."

She gently ran her hands through her frazzled hair and contemplated what leaving would truly mean. Kris imagined a life without Dani, Jean, Pablo, Matt, and Junior and suddenly felt very empty. She knew that the moment she told them they would be disappointed. Kris hated to disappoint people.

Kris suddenly realized just how much she would be missing in each of their lives and she wasn't sure if she could take that loss of contact again.

"But I can keep in touch this time." She thought out loud. "I can call and email and visit."

The thought seemed to ease her nerves but only for a moment. If she was truly honest with herself Kris knew that she would not keep her promise and she would loose contact just like she had before.

"I don't really have a choice, though." Kris stated quietly to herself as she looked off in the distance at the landscape she had memorized.

"How am I really going to take Jason away from Junior?" she whispered softly.

The nagging voice in her head answered her question for her…

'You already have.'

--

"It was easier than I ever imagined it would be." Ken stated excitedly.

"Great, wonderful, fabulous." Tina responded sarcastically.

"You certainly kept up your part of the bargain," Ken stated "you will get everything you asked for and a ten percent bonus since it all happened so quickly."

"Goody," Tina stated as she rolled her eyes "can I ask you something?"

"If you must," Ken stated.

"Why are you doing this to your son when you know that no matter what you do he will go after her?"

"Because if I know Kris the way I think I do, she will leave without a word. He will nurse a broken heart for awhile but then move on, as he should."

A small chuckle escaped Tina's lips as she looked at him very closely.

"Then again hasn't Kris always gone against what you expect her to do?" Tina asked a small smile on her face.

"This time it's different," Ken replied.

"Sure," Tina stated "Just keep in mind that no matter what you do or say there is something there. It's too hard to ignore, even for you."

"Yeah, it's called lust Tina, it goes away believe me."

"I don't know," Tina replied "I've seen those two together and they seem to be the real deal. If I was you I would just keep in mind that no matter what you do or say love conquers all."

With that Tina quickly got out of her chair, picked up the white envelope on the table, and made her way out the door.

As she left she turned back to him one last time, simply stating "Plus there is Jason to consider." With a huge grin she threw her hand behind her in a small wave as she slammed the door behind her.

--

"Hey there," Kris whispered softly as she picked up her son and cradled him against her. "I kind of have some news that I am not sure you are going to be happy with."

A long sigh escaped Kris' lips as she leaned down and kissed her son's head. "I just hope," she whispered softly "that you will understand why I did this someday."

She looked around the house and momentarily considered packing everything she had accumulated through the years. After a brief thought, she shook her head silently in resignation; she would leave most of it behind.

Setting Jason back into his crib she quickly made her way to her bedroom and threw herself onto the bed. She lay on the bed staring at the ceiling, contemplating the crazy day that she had.

She rolled onto her side and looked at the picture frame on the nightstand next to her. She picked up the small frame and gently ran her fingers along the glass, memorizing the texture.

"I suppose," she whispered to herself "I could take a few things."

The picture was one of her and Junior on their wedding day. He was cradling her in his arms in an embrace and they were passionately kissing.

"Where did we go wrong?" Kris whispered silently to herself.

"Probably when I was an ass," a male voice responded. The voice stunned Kris and she dropped the picture frame turning and looking at the man standing in her bedroom doorway.

"Junior, how did you get in here?" Kris asked her voice shaking slightly.

"You left the front door unlocked," he replied "you really should be more careful. I wouldn't want anything happening to you or to Jason."

"That's sweet," Kris stated quickly "but I really don't think you should have just come over."

"Can't we talk about this Kris? For us and for Jason."

"Talk about what?" Kris asked sitting up and pushing herself back against the headboard.

"Why don't we start with the letter," Junior stated softly, "It was beautiful Kris."

"Junior we can't do this," Kris whispered softly "I can't take this back and forth."

"But isn't that what makes it fun?" Junior teased softly as he slowly entered the room.

"It's not healthy," Kris stated frustrated as she ran her hands through her hair.

"And denying what we have is?" Junior asked calmly.

"I just don't know any more." Kris stated "Things have changed."

"Nothing has changed," Junior replied seriously looking into her eyes. "I still love you."

"I love you too, Junior."

"Then what is the problem?" Junior asked as he sat next to her on the bed.

"It's complicated."

"Isn't it always," Junior stated. "I will fight for you Kris, if I have to."

A soft sigh escaped Kris' lips and Junior reached out and gently grasped her hand.

"I love you Kris," Junior whispered softer than before.

"I know," Kris whispered back.

Junior leaned his head in and gently pressed his lips against hers. Kris pulled back for just a moment looking into his eyes before pressing her lips back into his.

She could feel the tears begin to fall down her face and she soon felt his hands wiping them away. She told herself that she should pull away, but instead let herself get lost in the moment.

As his hand gently cupped her face, she made the decision and slowly pulled away. Placing a gentle kiss on his palm she looked up and looked him in the eyes.

"Junior," Kris sighed softly "I think we need to talk."