A/N: I do not own Naruto or Wikipedia etc., but I do own Sayuri.

Chapter 2: Piercing Fetish

When she walked in, Sayuri momentarily thought she was staring at a long-lost relative: the man at the desk had bright orange hair that was probably only a few shades lighter than her own. And…he was pierced!

"Copycat," she muttered.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Look who's talking."

She was taken aback. "Are you freakin' accusing me of copying you?!" she sputtered.

"You accused me first," the man replied calmly. "And in any case…I probably was pierced before you were even born."

Sayuri folded her arms over her chest. "Oh yeah?" she demanded skeptically.

"My first piercing was…about fifteen years ago."

"Ha! I was three then!" She laughed and stuck out her tongue.

Pein raised his eyebrows, and she immediately sunk into a chair, muttering incomprehensively.

"Good."

Sayuri looked up meekly, remembering that this was, essentially, the leader of Akatsuki, and she had a feeling he could destroy her in an instant.

"Now. State your business."

Suddenly, she jumped up and declared energetically, "I wanna join Akatsuki!"

A sweat drop appeared on Pein's head.

"Why?" he demanded.

Sayuri grinned. "Well, what girl wouldn't want to join a group of sexy bad guys?"

Pein's eye twitched.

Ten minutes later, Sayuri stormed out of the lair, cursing violently.

"Fuck that son of a bitch!"

Deidara, who had been waiting outside for her, stared. "What's up, yeah?"

Sayuri clenched her fists. "He fucking wants me to be a fucking maid!" she hissed.

"Huh?"

"I want to join Akatsuki, but no, I have to be your fucking laundry maid and your cleaning lady!"

Kisame, who happened to be walking by, stopped. "Really?"

She glared at him. "Shut up or you die."

He laughed.

Sayuri punched him with a chakra-infused punch. Deidara jumped out of the way as Kisame went flying through several walls.

Deidara slowly backed away and left.

Pein stuck his orange-haired head out of the lair. "Sayuri…"

She kept her back facing where he stood and stuck her middle finger up at him.

"Face me," he commanded in a deathly cold voice.

She scowled and turned around.

"I should kill you for that."

"But you won't because you love me," Sayuri finished for him, reverting to her overly cheery demeanor.

"Uh…I'm married."

"I meant it sarcastically, piercing-copier!"

"Once again, brat, look who's talking."

"Why you —"

"— Copycat," he interrupted. "I was the only redhead 'till you came around!"

Pein acting like a five-year-old…Weird.

"What about Sasori?" she asked; Sayuri, being Akatsuki's "number one stalker", knew every intimate detail about the organization, having memorized each member's biography from Wikipedia A/N: Heh heh… couldn't resist putting that little detail in!!

"He dyed his hair."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not — how come his eyebrows were red, huh?"

"Dyed 'em, too!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Prove it, bitch!"

Pein blinked. "I'm a guy."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, dammit!"

"Well…I don't believe you."

In truth, she did not believe that Sasori's natural hair color was not red, but ordinarily she would have let the matter pass. However, the thrill of meeting the Akatsuki (her obsession for the past few years) made this too good an opportunity to pass up.

"I'm gonna ask Deidara," she told Pein.

The other redhead folded his arms across his chest. "Why?"

"'Cuz Deidara was Sasori's partner, duh!"

"How would you know who I assigned to whom?"

"I'm Akatsuki's number-one fan, please!" A/N: Remind anyone of The Amanda Show? Ah…good times. I miss that show!

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay…"

Sayuri ran around the corner, to where she assumed the members' rooms were.

"DEIDARA!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

The blond opened a door at the end of the hall. "Hmm?"

She motioned for him to come over, and when he did, she pulled him back to the Akatsuki leader.

"Yo! Deidara," she said, looking at Pein. "Did Sasori dye his hair or not?"

"Why the hell would a shinobi dye his hair, un?"

She shrugged. "Pein says —"

"God, just shut up!"

Sayuri stuck her tongue out at Pein. "Make me!"

Pein resumed his threatening manner. "I will suspend your pay, maid."

She hung her head. "Damn it."

She shuffled away.

"And Sayuri?" added Pein.

"Mmm…?"

"Wear your…uniform beginning tonight." She could have sworn he added under his breath, "Piercing-copier."

Go to hell, she thought. "Why are you accusing me of copying you?" she demanded. "It's not my fault I have a piercing fetish!"

"Nor is it mine that I have one."

There was a pause.

"AWKWARD SILENCE!" Sayuri yelled.

Deidara blinked. "Are you on crack, un?"

"No…"

"Zetsu?"

"What the fuck?"

"He means are you smoking Zetsu," Pein informed her quietly.

"You can smoke him?!" Sayuri exclaimed. "Cool!"

And he ran off.

Pein and Deidara stared at each other.

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaay…"