Warning: not completely explicit sex
Chapter Seven: In the Dark of the Night
Mao lowered his camera, letting it hang around his neck as he looked around. The tour guide continued to talk, rushing them through the town near the castle. Mao frowned as they were ushered away from the castle itself. Since there were royals in residence they wouldn't be going close to the castle at all, even the gardens and chapel were off limits.
Of course the royal family was always in residence. The castle had been a gift to Britannia when Charles had married his second wife, a show of respect between the prime minister of England and the emperor of Britannia and a recognition of their shared past. It had been intended for Lady Delphia and her daughter, Guinevere. But neither of them had used the castle and, after the events at the Aries Villa, Guinevere had preferred to stay in Pendragon. So Marianne had taken the castle.
The thought of Marianne vi Britannia in the same house as his target made him smile. It would be a challenge now, something more that just mere revenge. He looked forward to this job. The problem was in getting inside and to his target.
Thus far he had seen the knights that had accompanied the boy. Unfortunately, he had yet to see the boy since he had gotten to England. He had seen Lady Kozuki with the princesses the day before when they had been out in London and he had seen Lord Weinberg on one of his early visits to the castle and village, but no sign of Suzaku Kururugi or the boy. That in itself was frustrating, as it had nearly been a week since they had arrived.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying not to look impatient. He needed the time and the ability to move around without being seen as suspicious. If he looked too eager or was too nervous, he would fail. At this point, that was not an option. The news that the Geass Order was essentially dead had spread around the world. The emperor had made a point on speaking about the demise of the group, but Mao hadn't paid Schneizel any attention, he had been waiting to see what Marianne would say.
To his disappointment, she had said very little, merely seconding the statement made by Schneizel. Even with Marianne and the three princesses in residence, Mao hadn't seen anyone new beside them or heard anything from the gossip in the town. Jeremiah was still Marianne's most trusted knight, Nunnally and Euphemia still only had guards that watched over them and Dalton was settling into his place as Cornelia's knight. The only news that he had heard was the plan that Dalton had to create a small group of guards to serve Cornelia when she finally decided to take up residence in one place and that was hardly anything new. Most royals formed their own group of guards that would follow them for the rest of their lives. But the fact that it was rumored to be made up of orphans made Mao curious.
With that news in mind, the boy he was following was either somehow related to the royal family or one of the orphans chosen for Dalton's guards. Either way, it was going to be hard to get him out of the house. Mao allowed himself to drift toward the end of the group that he was following, raising his camera to look at the castle. Behind him, the guide continued to talk about the history of the castle, Mao ignoring her in favor of looking for ways to get in.
There was little chance he would be able to sneak into the castle under the guise of new help; the guards would be on high alert now that the leaders of the Geass Order had been found dead. The investigation into finding others involved in the Geass Order was in full swing so anyone coming into the castle would get a full background check, which he would immediately fail. He had no background, no cover for this operation. Then again, those had always been manufactured for him before. He had just gone in after he had been given a basic plan.
Mao snapped a few more pictures of the castle before turning to look at the garden and the top of the chapel that was visible over the bushes. He took a couple of pictures of that before considering the garden. It would be a good place to hide, especially at night when there would be plenty of shadows to hide in. Escape would be easy too, just as simple as finding a place to slip out of the garden and then run to his hotel. Mao would be on a flight back to Japan by the time the news got out. And, by the time the searches were expanded outside of England, Mao would be in Australia, setting up the house he and C.C. would have lived in if he had been quicker to convince her to leave with him.
He lowered his camera again, tipping his head to the side as he studied the chapel. Whatever the case was, he would have to lure his target out, which was done easily enough. All he had to do was to find the one thing that would send the boy running. Surprisingly, that was more easily done now that he was in England. A part of Dalton's guard or not, he would have met one of the princesses and he would be willing to protect him. Even if the boy was not, Mao was sure that Lady Marianne wouldn't let any of them princesses die, no matter what the demands were. It was all a matter of getting to one of the princesses and holding them hostage long enough to get what he wanted.
He smiled to himself, letting himself sink back into the tour group. The plan was simple enough and could be quickly done, he was proud of himself for figuring it out. Of course, C.C. would be able to point out the problems in his plan, she always had before when he had reported in to the Geass Order that he was at the target and had outlined his plan. Now he would just have to remember what she had told him before and use it. The two most important things to remember were to be clean and quick, his kill had to be both for him to get out of this situation alive. Mao could do clean and quick, he had done them before on his other missions.
Satisfied with the information he had gathered, Mao trailed after the group as the tour guide led them back to their starting point. He would sit back for a while longer, just to see what action Marianne vi Britannia would take before starting and he would hold himself to that plan despite his impatience. He had left orders with the people at the crematory; they wouldn't be giving C.C. away before he had returned for her. He only had to remind himself that it would only be a few more days, a simple thing in the end to destroy the thing that had led to C.C's death. Mao could be patient for a few more days
Suzaku watched as Kallen and Lelouch waltzed around the room under Milly's instruction, but his mind wasn't on the two dancers, it was on the conversation with Lelouch from the night before. Suzaku supposed that it was his own fault for getting so used to Lelouch referring to himself as if he was the lost prince, that was the only thing he could think of that would have thrown him off so completely. He wanted to think he would have handled it better if Lelouch had asked 'What do you think about me' instead of 'What did you think about your Lelouch.' At least he hoped that he would have handled it better.
Suzaku supposed that part of this was his own fault; he had been allowing himself to just assume that this Lelouch was the right Lelouch. But wasn't that what they were supposed to be doing? He knew that both Gino and Kallen were partially counting on him to identify this person as Lelouch. That in itself wasn't quite fair because he was expected to hold himself away from Lelouch as well, even though they knew how he felt. Even knowing this he hadn't argued about his role and he had enjoyed the job, at least until he had been forced to separate his Lelouch and this Lelouch again.
He had answered Lelouch's question as best as he could, even with his unease and confusion. That eight year old spoiled brat of a prince had been the most important person in his life at the time. His greatest regret was still letting Lelouch leave because he could think of many things he could have done to save him. He had done nothing spectacular but allowed someone important to him to slip away. Suzaku went to reach for his pin, forcing his hand away a moment later. He swallowed and focused on the two dancers.
This was good training to be a knight, practice on keeping his attention on his prince and everything around him, no matter what he was doing. Suzaku shifted a bit, glancing at Gino before allowing himself to slump. He wanted to be able to concentrate on his job, but the question that Lelouch had asked kept bothering him.
If Lelouch had asked what Suzaku had thought about him, the answer would have been completely different. Suzaku couldn't quite say that he loved Lelouch, not like he loved his prince, but he wanted Lelouch. It was frightening how close they had gotten in the few days they had spent together. They were friends, Suzaku was sure of that, but there was a chance that they could be more and that was probably what scared him the most. He was comfortable in his love for Prince Lelouch and his friendship with Lelouch, but the thought that he could be falling in love with someone else was frightening and felt a bit like betrayal.
Suzaku frowned. It wasn't like he had remained celibate while he had searched for Lelouch. He had been in the barracks as a teenager, surrounded by willing partners and running on hormones. Despite his experience, Suzaku had ever been in a lasting relationship, mostly because everyone knew that he wouldn't allow one to develop and that he was obsessed with finding Lelouch.
Before, that lifestyle had been fine with him. Now Suzaku wasn't sure what he wanted. He wanted his prince back safe and wanted to serve him in all capacities, but he also didn't want to just let this Lelouch go. At least, not before he had managed to figure out what this was between the two of them. Part of him was afraid of just what that pursuit would lead him to.
The sound of Milly clapping her hands made him jump, Gino shooting him a worried look. He gave Gino a shaky smile, hoping that would be enough to throw Gino off. He could only hope that Gino would be too busy trying to make up for something he had done and that Gino would leave him alone. The last thing he wanted was someone else's help with this. Gino would just give him an answer and Kallen would try to use it as a chance to change him. They both meant well, but it wasn't what Suzaku wanted.
He straightened up as Kallen and Lelouch broke apart, snickering at the disgusted look on both of their faces. At least that was the same day to day, along with the smile that Lelouch gave him. Suzaku returned the smile before tensing. They had fallen into a pattern over the last few days; one that Suzaku had never had any problem with until now. Before he had enjoyed the touches between them because it was Lelouch, because he hadn't even thought that this Lelouch could be the wrong Lelouch. Now he had reached the stage that the others had reached within moments of finding Lelouch at Aries Villa. There was a small chance that they were the same person, but there was a greater chance that they weren't.
Suddenly Suzaku couldn't stand the smile or the brief touches that would come. He swallowed and walked out of the room, forcing himself not to run. From behind him he heard Lelouch call his name, but he didn't stop.
He strode through the hall, heading for his room. He could count on Gino and Kallen to stall Lelouch for a while, although he was sure that Lelouch didn't deserve the talking down that Kallen was going to give him. It was no one's fault for this situation but his own. He had been the one unwilling to listen to the warnings of his friends and had allowed himself to just believe this Lelouch and his prince were the same. Perhaps it would have been better if this Lelouch hadn't been able to act like the lost prince, hadn't been able to get every nuance that Suzaku remembered exactly right. It would have been better if the movements had looked stiff and drilled instead of natural. So Suzaku, being the idiot that he was, had just assumed that it was further proof that this was the right Lelouch. The problem was that he couldn't be sure. He would have followed his hopeful conclusion and probably would have until the interview with Euphemia if not for Lelouch's question.
Now that they were totally separated in his mind, Suzaku doubted that he could ever be able to think about them as the same person again. People changed all the time without traumatic events to force the chance, so why had he assumed that Lelouch would be the same? After all, he had changed from the bold little boy who had always been too eager to solve everything with a fight instead of talking. He now bowed his head and followed orders without question instead of arguing before finally giving in. Instead of trying to stand out in a crowd, he hid in it. Anyone looking for him on the knowledge of his personality as a child would be thoroughly confused and probably slip right over him because they were looking for the son of Genbu Kururugi instead of Suzaku Kururugi, guard to Marianne vi Britannia.
Suzaku shivered as he reached for the door. Knowing that, it was entirely possible that they had missed Lelouch, a thought that Suzaku didn't want to entertain for too long. It wouldn't matter anyway, especially if their gamble here failed. There wouldn't be any authorized searches and Suzaku wouldn't be able to bring anyone that he found to Marianne and Nunnally.
He sighed, pulling the door open with more force than necessary and letting it slam shut behind him. He stared at his feet for a moment before leaning back against the door, rubbing his hands over his face. For now the best thing for him to do would be to distance himself from Lelouch, to make sure that he didn't forget again. If that didn't work, he would request to be removed from his duty here, there were plenty of trusted guards to do it. Suzaku reached up to rub his neck. He had promised himself that he would search for Lelouch and continue his whole life if he had to. Whether Lelouch was dead or alive, Suzaku intended to keep his promise and return the pin.
The sound of someone clearing their throat made him look up. Lelouch was standing in the doorway between their rooms, arms crossed over his chest. Suzaku flinched and looked away, dropping his hand away from his neck.
"Kallen thinks that this is something I did."
"I'll talk to her about-"
"Is it?" Suzaku looked up, watching as Lelouch slumped against the doorframe. "Because I feel like I have a right to know. I don't want to have to order you to tell me the answer."
"It's nothing you've done."
"Then what is it?" Lelouch walked across the room, coming to a stop right in front of Suzaku. "Because now I've got Gino and Kallen breathing down my neck for damaging you. I'm sure Milly will be joining them soon."
Suzaku opened his mouth to answer, snapping it shut when Lelouch glared at him. "I want to know, Suzaku."
"It's nothing you've done, I can swear on that." He attempted a smile, sure that it looked as strained as it felt. "It's nothing to worry about, Lelouch."
"Nothing to-" Lelouch took a couple of steps back, looking like he was going to start pacing. Instead, he trembled in place, Suzaku not sure if Lelouch was going to punch him or not. He jumped when Lelouch finally spoke. "Idiot! How could you even think that when I…I…"
Lelouch looked at him strangely for a moment, giving Suzaku enough time to find the doorknob, before he stepped forward. Suzaku twisted his wrist, feeling the knob turn as he waited for Lelouch to make his move, trying to ignore how close Lelouch was.
The only warning that Suzaku got was a muttered "Idiot" before Lelouch was kissing him.
Suzaku's first reaction was to freeze, trying to process the fact that he was getting kissed at the same time as she started to catalogue the ways to get away from Lelouch with the least amount of harm. He managed to keep himself from attacking immediately, instead sliding his hand up to Lelouch's shoulder and gently pushing. It only took one push for Lelouch to yield, Lelouch sighing against Suzaku's mouth before taking a step back. It was only then, as Suzaku was gathering himself back together, that he realized that the kiss had only been chaste, just the pressure of their lips against each other.
Suzaku let go of Lelouch's shoulder, still too shocked to actually speak. He allowed Lelouch to catch his hand, watching the other warily. Lelouch made no move to kiss him again, just staring at the floor as he loosely held Suzaku's hand in his own. Sure that there wasn't a threat, Suzaku let go of the doorknob, the door clicking shut behind him.
Lelouch looked up at the sound, blushing but not looking ashamed. He let go of Suzaku's hand and took a step back.
At a loss of what to do, Suzaku licked his lips. "We don't know each other."
"I know that." Lelouch glanced away, staring at the bed. "I know that this makes no sense and that no one would approve because they would think I'm taking advantage of you."
Suzaku shook his head, not quite sure how to respond, not when the only thing on his mind was to kiss Lelouch again, because it was Lelouch. Suzaku sighed, taking a step to the side so he wouldn't be pinned against the door again if Lelouch moved toward him. "I would be taking advantage too."
Lelouch stared at him for a moment before muttering a curse. "I should have known. You did say that he was important to you, but I was too big of a…" Lelouch cleared his throat. "Right. I'm glad that we got that settled."
He turned to leave, Suzaku letting him go. It was better that they did this, that Suzaku let him walk away right now. Then Lelouch would be able to tell Kallen without hesitation that he had not done anything to Suzaku. Then everything would return back to normal, Lelouch would go back to his quick training to be a prince and Suzaku would go back to standing against the wall and just watching.
Suddenly, watching didn't have the appeal that it had before. Watching implied that he would still be waiting around for something that he wasn't sure was going to come anymore. For the others he would put on a smile and suggest that they look in one more place, but it was getting harder to smile, harder to keep himself going. Their search in Japan had showed him that. He wasn't going to give up, but it was getting harder to keep himself going for the next day.
And then there was Lelouch, the one who didn't seem to mind everything that Suzaku was. He had seen the tattoo on Suzaku's neck and thought nothing of it. It didn't matter what Lelouch he was, all that mattered was the person that had been by his side for almost week. Having someone who looked at him and didn't try to fix him was a new experience and Suzaku liked it, preferred it to the overprotective tendencies of his friends.
Without thinking, he reached out to grab Lelouch, pulling him back. To his surprise, Lelouch went without a struggle, allowing himself to be dragged back in front of Suzaku. For a moment, Suzaku was tempted to jerk his hand away and go back to where he knew he was safe. Instead, he tightened his grip slightly, worried when Lelouch just sighed.
"You're sending me mixed signals."
"I know, but I just want…"
Lelouch shook his head. "You know that I might not be the prince. Your best friend could still be out there and you'll regret being with me."
"That's not…" Suzaku swallowed. "I don't care about that."
"Your prince was important to you."
"I know! But he's not here and I just need-" He cut himself off when he realized that he was yelling, taking a moment to swallow. When he was sure that he was in control of himself, Suzaku spoke again. "I've tried on my own, but there are days when I wake up and think that it would be easier to die, that if I died then everything would be alright because I've made up for everything that I've done. Or, maybe, that it would be easier in the end because then everything wouldn't hurt. And they've been happening more often and I'm scared that one day I'll just decide to die instead of going through another day."
He jerked himself away from Lelouch, cradling the hand that he had used to grab onto Lelouch. He hadn't meant to say all of that, it was meant to stay in his head. No one was allowed to know what he really thought because it would make them worried and uncomfortable, Suzaku didn't want to have his friends worrying about him, especially over his small problems. They could guess and suspect, but Suzaku would just smile and act the part of a happy man, and that was usually enough to put them off. But to have actually spoken about it meant that someone knew and someone would try and fix him when he didn't want to be fixed. There was nothing wrong with him; he was just tired of failure.
Suzaku grunted as Lelouch pulled him into a hug, only aware that he was trembling when Lelouch tightened his hold on him. Suzaku swallowed and pressed his head against Lelouch's shoulder, flinching when Lelouch buried a hand in his hair and pulled him close. "That's not going to happen. I won't let it."
"Lelouch, that…that wasn't what I wanted to say." He winced when Lelouch's grip tightened, carefully reaching back to try and pry Lelouch's fingers from him. "It's nothing to worry about, seriously."
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Lelouch tightened his hold, Suzaku biting his lip to keep from yelping in pain. "Lelouch, you've got bigger things to worry about."
"No I don't." Lelouch looked up at him, Suzaku rocking backward as far as Lelouch's hold would allow. He had never seen Lelouch look angry, annoyed and bored, but never angry. He tried to squirm away, Lelouch not letting him go. "No, you're staying here. I'm not letting you go because then you might do something stupid."
"I haven't."
"That doesn't mean you won't." Lelouch let go of his hair, looking like he was going to shove Suzaku away for a moment. Instead, Lelouch just shifted his hold. "You know what it feels like to lose your best friend. Are you willing to put someone else through that?"
Suzaku stared at him, trying to process what Lelouch was saying while fighting the urge to pull away from Lelouch. "I wouldn't, Lelouch. I wouldn't."
That finally got Lelouch to release him, Lelouch looking shaken. Suzaku carefully reached up to touch his shoulder, surprised when Lelouch slumped. "It doesn't make any sense, but you're important to me. I don't know if it's just as a friend or if I want it to be more." Lelouch chuckled, Suzaku hating how hollow it sounded. "But that doesn't matter, because you're still too much in love with your prince."
Suzaku growled and leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm not thinking about him right now. I'm thinking about you."
"You mean the prince that you guys are training me up to be."
"No, I mean you, the Lelouch I've spent this week with." Suzaku scooted closer, ignoring the small thread of panic that kept reminding him that this wasn't his Lelouch. It wasn't, Suzaku knew that, and he didn't care. He just wanted to be with Lelouch, the one who had spent the week with him, the one that he had become friends with. "Don't act, don't be either of them. Just be you."
He didn't give Lelouch time to answer, leaning forward to kiss him. Lelouch tensed up, just as Suzaku thought he would. Suzaku took the chance to scoot forward, wrapping an arm around Lelouch's shoulders. He expected Lelouch to push him away and start another argument or run away. He was fully prepared to have to chase after Lelouch. He didn't want him to get away, especially before they had a time to talk about this.
To his surprise, Lelouch didn't run, he just clutched at Suzaku. Suzaku pulled back, staring at him. Now Lelouch would shout at him for taking advantage or sending mixed signals. He swallowed nervously, about to apologize when Lelouch pulled him close. Suzaku shivered as Lelouch tucked his head under his chin. "Don't you dare, not after that."
"Alright."
"Now, tell me what you want to do. And you'll have to stick to it."
Suzaku nodded, glancing at the bed before looking at the floor. "I want to try whatever you want to try."
He didn't get a chance to specify that it didn't matter to him which Lelouch it was, Lelouch was already leaning forward to kiss him. Suzaku let go with one hand, using it to brace himself against the floor as Lelouch pressed against him. He hadn't expected Lelouch to try and crawl into his lap after this, he had expected an argument, he had been looking forward to an argument.
"Lelouch…"
"No. I don't want to give you the chance to change your mind." Lelouch growled as Suzaku leaned back. "You're not getting away from me this time."
Suzaku smirked, pushing up off of the floor. Lelouch stayed firmly in his lap, trying to kiss Suzaku as Suzaku tried to stand up. He laughed, finally catching hold of Lelouch's chin to stop him. He managed to keep Lelouch still for a moment more before Lelouch was standing up, tugging at his arm.
Suzaku stood up under Lelouch's persistent tugging, allowing himself to be pulled over to the bed. He agreed with Lelouch's need to move quickly, he didn't want to have the time to think over what he was doing. When he was in a panic, he tended to over think things and then withdraw himself from the situation to make sure that he didn't end up doing something wrong. Above all things, Suzaku preferred to keep the status quo, even if things didn't turn out in his favor. But to do that here would be a mistake, it would probably lead to him losing Lelouch for good, and that was something that he never wanted to contemplate.
They fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, Suzaku surprised when Lelouch twisted to pin him down. He made one half hearted attempted to roll them, stopping when Lelouch pressed down against him. Suzaku gave up his attempt quickly after that, turning his attention to trying to direct Lelouch to kiss him instead of kissing his neck.
It had been so long since the last time Suzaku had allowed himself to do this, he wanted to make sure that it would last, be worth something until the next time. It was a selfish thought, but Suzaku felt like he was entitled to it. This was the one case where denying himself would just make things worse.
Suzaku finally succeeded in getting Lelouch attention away from his neck, slipping a hand into Lelouch's hair to hold him in place. Suzaku smirked into the kiss, letting his other hand drop to rest on Lelouch's stomach, taking advantage of the way Lelouch's shirt had ridden up to run his fingers over the strip of skin exposed.
Lelouch gasped against his mouth, Suzaku using the moment to push his tongue into Lelouch's mouth, moving his hand to Lelouch's hip and drawing him closer. He only got a blissful moment of a deeper kiss before Lelouch was pushing away. Suzaku whined and tried to kiss him again, Lelouch holding him off. Lelouch glared at him, the effect ruined by the way that he was panting. "Stop teasing me, Suzaku."
"Teasing?"
Lelouch snorted, sitting up on the bed. Suzaku hesitated before propping himself up, waiting for Lelouch to speak. Lelouch glanced at Suzaku, rubbing his arm nervously. "I've…I've never done this before. And don't you dare laugh."
Suzaku shook his head, licking his lips. Lelouch had never done this before, that was surprisingly arousing and a bit daunting. He preferred to be a little rough in sex, just because it was easier to lose himself that way. But he couldn't do that to Lelouch, prince or no prince. Suzaku smiled to himself, reaching over to rest his fingers on Lelouch's cheek.
"Alright then." He trailed his fingers down Lelouch's cheek to his neck. He paused at the collar of Lelouch's shirt. "We'll go as slowly as you want."
Lelouch trembled but he didn't say anything. Suzaku took that as permission to continue, reaching down to pull Lelouch's shirt off. He sat back to pull his own shirt off, freezing in place when Lelouch pressed a hand against Suzaku's chest.
Suzaku held still as Lelouch traced over the muscles on his chest and abdomen, watching the blush that grew as Lelouch continued. Suzaku smiled and reached down to press his hand over Lelouch's, holding them both there on his stomach. He felt Lelouch shiver, about to reach for Lelouch's pants when Lelouch leaned forward and nuzzled his neck.
He tried to jerk away, surprised when Lelouch caught him and held on. The two of them fell back to the bed, Lelouch on top and clinging to Suzaku. Suzaku tried to squirm away, gasping when that just made Lelouch rub against him. He glanced down at the top of Lelouch's head before tipping his own up, trying to get Lelouch away from his neck. The motion got a growl from Lelouch. "No running."
"Lelouch, you're-" He cut himself off as he saw Lelouch glance down at the tattoo on his neck. Suzaku swallowed and looked away.
He flinched when Lelouch kissed his neck, not surprised when Lelouch pushed away from him. He was surprised when Lelouch turned his head, Suzaku opening his eyes to stare at Lelouch. He held Lelouch's gaze as Lelouch traced the tattoo, trying not to flinch away again.
Lelouch sighed and let go of his face, draping himself over Suzaku again. "I don't care about it. I know you hate it, but I don't care."
Suzaku shut his eyes as Lelouch leaned over again, unable to stop himself from wrapping his arms around Lelouch's shoulders and holding him there. Suzaku felt Lelouch pause again, about to urge him on when he felt Lelouch gently bite his neck. He moaned bucking up against Lelouch, his breath hitching when Lelouch rubbed against him. He shifted his grip to Lelouch's hips, pressing Lelouch against him as he moved.
He would have liked nothing more than to be kissing Lelouch as they rutted against each other, but Lelouch was focused on his neck; first kissing and biting, which turned into nuzzling. Still conscious of Lelouch's proximity to his tattoo, Suzaku shifted, intending to get Lelouch away from it. Instead, he only managed to shift so his erection was pressed against Lelouch's thigh, one of his legs slipping between Lelouch's.
Lelouch keened at that, breaking up their established rhythm. Suzaku could only bite his lip to prevent a similar sound from escaping him and hook his foot around Lelouch's calf to keep Lelouch from moving.
He tried to gently coax Lelouch back into their old rhythm, but he was far too aware of the hard press of Lelouch's erection against his leg and how good it felt to rub up against Lelouch. Then there was the heat between the two of them and the way that Lelouch's vague attempts at attention to his neck were starting to feel good.
Suzaku moaned, reaching up to push one hand into Lelouch's hair and hold Lelouch against his neck. He didn't hear a complaint, just a muffled moan. Suzaku turned his head so his cheek was pressed against Lelouch's hair, clutching him close.
He took a deep breath, trying to keep himself in control so he could last a bit longer. His plan failed as he caught the scent of sweat and a slightly floral smell from Lelouch. That and a high pitched whine of his name that Lelouch gave was enough to send him over the edge, Suzaku clutching at Lelouch as he came.
Suzaku slumped against the bed a moment later, already loosening his grip when Lelouch whined, pressing hard against him. Suzaku glanced down at Lelouch, smiling to himself as he nuzzled Lelouch's hair. "Lelouch…"
No further encouragement was needed, Lelouch moaning his name as he came. Suzaku wrapped his arms around Lelouch, holding him as Lelouch rode out his orgasm. He loosened his hold when Lelouch slumped, using the hand that he had buried in Lelouch's hair to straighten out the strands there. He was in no hurry to push Lelouch off of him and then go their separate ways. There was a kind of comfort in the warm weight of Lelouch on top of him and the slightly exhausted feeling that came with his own orgasm. It was enough to make him want to fall asleep right then.
Suzaku forced himself to stay awake, managing a sleepy smile when Lelouch looked up at him, Lelouch looking equally as bleary. Suzaku kissed Lelouch's forehead before scooting out from under him, using the opportunity to strip out of his pants and underwear. He knew that he would be more comfortable if he cleaned off completely, some semen still drying on his stomach, but Suzaku was too tired to care. He just wanted to cuddle up to Lelouch and sleep as opposed to his usual need to leave as soon as he got his breath back. And he was in no mood to analyze why he felt that way, chalking it up to knowing Lelouch better than he had known his other short flings.
Suzaku fumbled with the button on the front of Lelouch's pants, getting them undone and then nudging Lelouch until he lifted his hips, allowing Suzaku to slide the rest of Lelouch's clothes off. Suzaku tucked Lelouch under the covers, sliding in after him.
He expected Lelouch to curl up on his side of the bed, surprised when Lelouch snuggled up to him, tucking his head under Suzaku's chin. Suzaku stared down at him before shrugging it off, pulling the covers up over them and closing his eyes. He wasn't sure if he just imagined the kiss that Lelouch pressed against his tattoo, already drifting off to sleep with his arms wrapped around Lelouch.
The sound of gunshots and screaming echoed in the stairwell as he ran up the stairs. He threw a glance over his shoulder, not wanting to pause and look back. If he did, he would end up like the others who had been left behind, either because they had run into the fray or had been too stupid not to run. He didn't know how many were dead now; he had turned to run after the first man had died, a looming behemoth of a man who toppled slowly, like a statue being pulled down. Somehow, just watching that man die didn't make sense, he had been too big, too great to die because of something as small as a bullet.
But the man had, which was why he had turned and run. There were others there to make sure that the people shooting wouldn't get further in, they had the advantage of numbers after all. But maybe there was an advantage is desperation that he had not considered. It was the only reason that he could think of that would allow for the fact that the gunshots were getting closer.
He tripped over one of the stairs, catching himself on his hands and pushing up. A glance up showed that he hadn't lost the person in front of him; the woman that he had followed after the great man had fallen. He gritted his teeth and pushed himself up, stumbling back into a run again.
He couldn't lose this woman; doing so would mean that he would die. He didn't know why, but this wasn't the place or the time for logical thought, his whole focus was on escaping. The woman knew this place better than he did, despite the fact that some of the doors looked familiar. He might have been able to escape by himself, but the walls kept flickering between brightly painted to old and peeling with spider webs gathering in the corners. It was no wonder he felt disoriented and lost. He knew his way out of here, but only if things were steady, if they were stable. He was no use in a panic.
That was the reason for the woman. She knew where she was going. He didn't know her, he hadn't even been able to see her face the entire time they had been running, but he felt that she knew the way out. Since the exits on the ground floor were probably guarded or flooded with people trying to escape, he would rely on the woman to take him to the other exit that he knew was up here. The problem was that he couldn't remember where it was, all he knew that it was in a room, a room that held something very important.
He followed the woman as she turned down a hall, having to drift out a bit wide around the turn to avoid her skirts. He glanced down to make sure that he wouldn't step on her dress, his mind filled with warnings and teasing threats that he was sure that he had gotten before his whole world had turned to hell. He was about to look up when the guns started shooting again.
Startled, he pressed himself up against the nearest wall, panting for breath as he waited for the screams that were sure to follow. To his relief, the number of screams was less than before. People were still dying, but the invaders were moving to the less populated areas of the villa. He wouldn't have to listen to anymore people dying as he tried to flee. He hadn't liked all of the people at the party, but there were some that he knew and he didn't like the idea of putting names to dead bodies.
He took a final deep breath and looked up; slumping against the wall when he realized that he had lost the woman. All it had taken was a single moment of distraction and she was gone, lost to one of the doors that lined the hallway. He dropped his head into his hands, trying not to panic. The hallway wasn't that long and there weren't that many doors to choose from. It would only take a few minutes to find the right room and the woman again, he was sure that he would know the room on sight. Except that he didn't have a few minutes, the sound of the guns was getting closer. He probably had a minute before he would have to take cover.
He winced and pushed away from the wall, running to the nearest door and yanking it open. He stared into the dark room, shaking his head and slamming the door shut, not caring about the noise. They were coming to get him anyway, it didn't matter if they heard a person slamming doors in the end.
Three more rooms were tried with the same result, nothing but darkness. In the third room he could make out the hazy shapes of furniture, but no details. He slammed the door, turning to open the next one when he heard shots from further down the hall.
He froze, his hand shaking as it hovered over the doorknob. There was no way those men could have gotten around them, not without him noticing. This hallway didn't connect to anything; it just ended at a window that looked out into the gardens. He glanced down the hall, expecting to see a group of men when guns bearing down on him. Instead, he just saw an open door.
Without hesitation he ran toward the open door. How the men had gotten into the hallway without meeting him was still a mystery, but he was sure that they wouldn't just shoot at an empty room.
He reached the door just as he heard shouts from down the hall, intending to close the door behind him. He had his fingers curled around the edge of the door, but stopped when he saw the woman lying face down on the floor. Blood stained her dress in dark, uneven splotches and leaked out onto the floor. In her arms was a young girl, her face obscured by shadow. The girl was dead too, bullet holes riddling the front of her body and staining her white nightgown red.
He let go of the door and backed away, one hand rising to press against his mouth to fight off the urge to throw up. He stopped when his back hit the wall, unable to look away from the sight of the two on the floor. Now he was trapped with no way out and people who wanted to kill him running towards him. And it was wrong, so wrong because these two deserved to live, they had to live.
He bent over, expecting to throw up but only able to dry heave. He shivered, pressing one hand over his mouth and the other over his stomach as he stood up. It was too late to run now; all he could do was hide.
He was in the process of looking for a place to hide where he wouldn't be found when he heard the sound of someone running in the hallway. He ducked behind the dresser, praying that the person wouldn't come too far into the room. Where he was couldn't be seen until a person walked completely into the room and it was his best chance at a hiding place for the moment.
The person rushed into the room, not seeming to notice the bodies on the floor. He narrowed his eyes and leaned a bit out of his hiding place, staring at the young boy who had run into the room. The young boy didn't seem to notice him, walking around in a circle before cupping his hands to his mouth and shouting.
He couldn't make out the words, the sound too distorted. He contemplated stepping out from his hiding spot to talk to the boy when the shouts from the men in the hall got louder. He cringed and pressed himself back into his hiding place, staring at the boy.
The boy turned to face the door, staring at the men there. He only had time to see the frightened expression on the boy's face before the men shot him.
He wasn't sure if he screamed or if his scream would even be heard with the distortion that normal speech seemed to have. He was only aware of the men leaving the room and the boy bleeding out on the carpet. And, the coward that he was, he only came out when he was sure that the men were gone, waiting until they had passed the room again before sneaking out of his hiding place.
He didn't waste time on thinking how lucky he was to be passed over; he was too busy stumbling out of his hiding place and crawling when his legs didn't seem to work. All that mattered was getting to the boy because he was so important, too important to just be left lying there. The boy, the woman and the girl were all that mattered and all that had mattered this entire time, and it wasn't worth escaping if he knew that none of them would escape with him.
It took far longer than it should have to crawl across the room. He was out of breath when he reached the boy, letting his head droop. He allowed himself a moment to close his eyes before opening them and looking up at the boy.
Except it wasn't the boy anymore.
They could have been the same person, except that he recognized this person. He recognized the jeans and high collared sweater. He recognized the messy hair, the same hair that the boy had had. He recognized the green eyes that were staring sightlessly up at the ceiling.
The boy and this person were the same, except this person was so much more. This person had a name while everyone else in this place didn't.
"Suzaku."
He reached out and grabbed Suzaku's hand, glancing back at the woman and girl in the hopes that they would get names, that they would become something real. There was nothing, just two dead bodies. He ducked his head, biting his lip to keep from crying.
It wasn't fair. They were all important, he knew that, but only one got to be real. It just wasn't fair.
The click of a gun made him look up. He found himself staring up at a smiling man, one that looked slightly like the great man who had fallen on the first floor. He cleared his throat, about to ask for help, when he recognized the expression of hatred on the man's face.
He only had time to open his mouth to begin his pleading when the gun went off.
Lelouch bolted upright in bed, feeling too hot and constricted by the covers he had wrapped himself in. He quickly wiggled out of them, stumbling across the room until he caught himself on the back of a chair, his heart beating quickly. He gripped the back of the chair, taking deep breaths until he felt his heart slow down again.
It had only been a dream, a nightmare. It wasn't real at all. He was just overreacting because it had been a while since a nightmare had been that bad. Lelouch gave a shuddering sigh, reaching up to play with the chain of his locket. What he had to do was focus on the things he knew were real, to pull himself back away from what he remembered so he wouldn't be bothered by those images anymore when he went to go back to sleep. He took another deep breath, pressing the chain against his neck.
He knew that he wasn't in the orphanage anymore; his room in the orphanage never had chairs. So he was still in England, still waiting on his chance to prove that he was the lost prince. He still didn't know if that was true or not, but the fact that he knew where he was relaxed him.
Lelouch let go of his death grip on the chair, now only using it to lean against. He knew that he was in his rooms and, if he looked to his left, the door to Suzaku's room would be open. He raised his head to look to his left, surprised when he found himself staring at a wall. Lelouch turned to look to his right, staring at the door that led into what he recognized as his room.
It took him a moment to process what it meant, but he smiled when it all came together. So he had to adjust his calculations. He was in Suzaku's room, and he had managed to convince Suzaku of something, the particulars of what they had achieved he wasn't quite sure of. He only knew that they had ended up in bed frantically rutting against each other. It wasn't what Lelouch had envisioned when he had finally gotten Suzaku into bed, but he found that he preferred it, especially since he had let the fact that it had been his first time slip out. Lelouch had intended to keep that fact a secret and bluff the rest of the way through as best as he could.
He cleared his throat, shaking his head. So, he had managed to have some form of sex with Suzaku, which was why he was naked.
In any case, this room was real and not that place, not the hallway full of gunshots and screams or the room with the dead woman and girl. The room where Suzaku was dead.
"Lelouch?" He jumped at the sound of his name, looking over his shoulder at the sound of covers rustling.
Suzaku walked over to him, Lelouch hearing the soft sound of a blanket dragging over the ground. He had been trying for a neutral expression, but something must had shown on his face because Suzaku reached out and pulled him into a hug, wrapping Lelouch in his arms and the blanket that Suzaku had brought over from the bed. Lelouch intended to smirk and brush Suzaku off by saying that he was alright, but he found himself leaning into Suzaku, glad for the warmth and the reminder that it was just a dream.
He sighed, turning in the embrace. He felt Suzaku shiver as he brushed against the tattoo on Suzaku's neck. He ignored it, making his point by kissing the patch of skin. Lelouch had meant what he said earlier, that the tattoo didn't matter to him. He didn't know what it meant and, but the way Suzaku acted about it, Suzaku didn't like it either. The only question Lelouch had about it was why Suzaku kept it if he obviously hated it so much, but he didn't think that it would get answered, at least not right now. His plan was to desensitize Suzaku to it, to the point where Suzaku didn't care anymore.
As it was, the area that the tattoo covered was quickly becoming his favorite spot to kiss on Suzaku.
Lelouch let his head rest on Suzaku's shoulder, closing his eyes. He smiled as Suzaku drew the blanket around them more tightly. "Thanks."
"Well, you were going to get cold just standing out here naked."
Lelouch tried to hide his smile as Suzaku stumbled over the last word. He stepped closer to Suzaku, letting his hands slide down Suzaku's back until they were resting on his hips. He wasn't sure if he was doing this right, he had never actually shown physical affection to people. The most he had done was tone down his usual sarcastic comments and smiled a bit around them, and that seemed to pass as affection. With Suzaku he felt that he actually had to make an effort.
"Why were you out here in the first place?"
"Bad dream." Lelouch was proud that he had managed not to tighten his grip on Suzaku when he said that. "Just a bad dream."
Suzaku hummed, Lelouch relieved that he didn't ask about the dream. He didn't particularly want to explain it. It could be taken as evidence of memories that he didn't have or what Suzaku really meant to him and Lelouch didn't want to deal with the consequences of either. He turned his head so his forehead was pressed against Suzaku, shivering as Suzaku rubbed a hand down his back.
"Come on; let's get you back to bed. Milly will probably push you harder tomorrow. The deadline is coming up."
Lelouch resisted the urge to punch Suzaku, allowing himself to be pulled back to the bed. He didn't want to be reminded that this could be a one night stand. As a compromise, he clung to Suzaku, making it difficult for Suzaku to get back into the bed without dislodging Lelouch. His response to the annoyed look that Suzaku gave him was just to smile, making himself comfortable as soon as Suzaku settled them both down again.
He wasn't quite sure how to take the quick switch from annoyance to concern that Suzaku gave him. Lelouch stayed completely still as Suzaku ran a hand over his shoulder and onto the back of his neck. "Will you be alright?"
"Y-yeah. It was just a nightmare."
"They have habits of coming back."
Lelouch frowned, reaching up to touch Suzaku's tattoo. "Like this?"
Suzaku caught his hand, carefully guiding it to his shoulder. Lelouch tried his best not to pout, but let Suzaku reposition him. He was mollified when Suzaku stroked the back of his hand.
"Yeah, like that."
Lelouch let the subject drop. It was more that he had gotten out of Suzaku about his tattoo since he had discovered it. He shifted his arms into a more comfortable position, pressing up against Suzaku. To his relief, Suzaku immediately curled around him, their legs tangling together. He was probably going to regret not cleaning up until morning, but he would live with that decision. Right now he was warm and content. Better yet, he wasn't stuck in a place where people were dying and he had to stare at blank green eyes.
Lelouch clenched his eyes shut, hating himself for the reminder of the dream. It hadn't been real; it was just stress from all the work that he was doing and all of the things that he was trying to remember. None of it mattered in the end; none of it had told him what he didn't already know. The dream was just a reflection of his subconscious and in no way fact. But that didn't stop the nagging thought that he should have looked for something in that room, something in the wall…
He gave a mental shrug. What mattered now was sleep. He would have to be up tomorrow and would probably have another dance lesson with Milly and Kallen. Beyond that he would have to explain to Kallen how he hadn't harmed Suzaku and hadn't gone against her orders. He and Suzaku had talked and they understood each other, ignoring the fact that he still didn't know if Suzaku was just doing this because he thought he was the lost prince or because of some real emotion.
Lelouch carefully let his mind go blank, keeping it that way until he fell asleep and dreamed of a palace with empty hallways, looming walls and the sound of children's laughter.