Marauders 101

By: neen

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Part Eight.

Marauders 101:

An Inside Guide to The Way of The Four Gods of Hoggity Hogwarts

IV: Prongs

Name: Prongs. Short and sweet.

Nicknames: A horrid assortment (mostly by dear Padfoot) that includes, but is definitely not limited to: Prongsie, Prongsie love, Prongsie-poo, Prongsie dearest, Pwong-see!

Birthday: October 21st. Erm, yeah.

Hair Color: Black. Messy, it is. Really messy, mind you.

Eye Color: Hazelish-looking, I believe. I'm not one to stare into my mirror for long hours, like Padfoot. Honestly.

Height: 6' 2''. I'm the tallest one, obviously.

Favorite Color: Seeing as I have no feminine traits whatsoever, I will stick with the customary favorite color males usually give as an answer: blue.

Favorite Food: Bouillabaisse. The French seafood soup thing. And it's dreadfully fun to attempt to pronounce. Boil-lah-base! Except Padfoot claims it's something like bwee-lah-bahse. He always makes it so hard to understand. Mm, I like mine better anyways.

Favorite Phrase: "I LOVE LILY MARIE EVANS!" or "WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME THIS TIME, LILY?"

Favorite Sport: QUIDDITCH. QUIDDITCH. QUIDDITCH. DO I NEED TO SAY ANYMORE? Besides, I look bloody sexy when I ride on that broom.

Pets: I had a pigeon before. The same one that tried to lay an egg in my hair. It was disposed of. (By Padfoot). I'm not sure exactly how he did it, but the feathers that were sticking out of his mouth afterwards made me oddly suspicious of what he did. Hmm. Anyways, I have a barn owl now. Its name is Mister Balagados.

Piercings: I'm afraid not. Though I'd love to 'accidentally' pierce Padfoot's eyeball sometimes. Wouldn't it be funny?

Tattoos: If I did get a tattoo, you can bet your rusty Galleon that it will say, 'I love Lily.'

Broken Any Bones: What do you expect? I hang around Padfoot. That word alone explains enough.

Been Shot/Stabbed: Again, one word. Padfoot.

Girlfriend: It's going to be Lily. I can feel it. Well, it will be after I find out how to get her to unhate me. Sigh. It might be a while.

Likes To: Look at Lily's hair. Stare at Lily's arse. Glance at Lily's boobies when she's not looking. Gaze at Lily's legs. Watch Lily do something important, like flick her nose in annoyance or stab angrily with repeated attempts at her apple pie. I believe the two cases were because of me. I'm loved!

Favorite Marauder: I must admit, it would be Padfoot. Without him around, life would be rather…dull. Safe and cautious, but a bit boring. I dunno, though, I'm thinking I'm starting to like the quiet side of things..

Funniest Marauder: Sigh. Padfoot does make me laugh occasionally. Occasionally being about fifteen times per minute.

Prettiest Marauder: This one is just wrong. Therefore, I adamantly refuse to answer this question.

Most Handsome Marauder: Ah, but beauty is only skin deep. That was really cheesy, wasn't it? Garrgh, let me go gag myself with a napkin, please.

Loudest Marauder: Padfoot. There is a reason why we all go around wearing those Muggle-made ear-plugs that Moony found for us. Thank Merlin.

Craziest Marauder: Argh. Padfoot. Sometimes he makes other people go crazy.

Most Shy: Sorry, Wormtail. I'm not one to lie. It's Wormy.

Most Loving: Er, I don't know anyone of our group that's truly 'loving', but Moony is quite the compassionate one. I saw him kissing some blade of grass or something once. He must've accidentally stepped on it. Weird bloke.

Most Understanding: Moony. Thanks to him, Lily and I are somewhat closer to getting together. She hates me still, but she doesn't scream that much anymore when I approach her. That's good, isn't it?

Most Boring: Er, yeah, Wormy it is.

Richest: I dunno. I think maybe me.

Most Athletic: Me.

Most Cocky: Er, Padfoot. And me around Lily, yes.

Biggest Sex Icon: I'm not sure about that. Ask a girl, will you?

What Do You Think About When You Hear…

Lake: Best spot in the world to find Lily. The wind blows gently behind her and teases her hair most artistically. The sun shines through her eyes, making our gaze crackle with electricity. The cool air softens her appearance, making her absolutely beautiful. That's the lake for you, m'dears.

Love Potion: Hmm, this is a good idea. I think I should try it out on Lily.

Laryngitis: La-who? Merlin, what's this? It's sounds like one of those weird animals that used to be on Earth…diny-Seers or something of the sort.

Lazy: Uh, Padfoot.

Lily: Blessed jewel of my heart, how can I say how you dazzle me so with your everlasting scintillation?

Lesbian: Erm, Padfoot came to my mind first thing. Odd. But it also can mean 'an inhabitant of Lesbos'! Bet you didn't know that. Hmm. Is Padfoot actually a girl? This is disturbing me. Must remember not think such thoughts. Ahh!

Lace: Padfoot used to sew these dreadfully weird things on to his robes, saying it made them look utterly 'precious'. He's had a hard life, that one. I wonder how he'll turn out.

Libido: I can't say anything, because I am a gentleman. But I am a male, so I offer one word. Flower. Ahem, ahem.

Little: Padfoot. Har, har. I'll just leave my answer be. I want to see the incredulous look on Padfoot's face when he reads that. Har!

Library: I heard that Lily comes here a lot. Which reminds me that I really need to find out where it is. Maybe I can tag after Moony.

Most Embarrassing Moment: I think it was the 293rd time that Lily rejected me. I forgot how it was though, but I'm pretty sure it was embarrassing. Otherwise, I wouldn't remember that it was the 293rd time. Or was it the 294th time?

Murdered Anyone Lately: I've come close to murdering two males with black hair and names both starting with the letter 's'. How surreal. Simply weird.

Anything Else You'd Like to Add: I LOVEEEEEE YOU, LILY!

Well, this ought to be interesting. In agreement. Oh, I can't wait! Is Prongs the last Marauder? No, there's that fifth one you forgot. A fifth one? Who? You thick troll. I was kidding.

Padfoot, be nice. Yes, Moomy. Excuse me? Er, common mistake. Moony.

Till we write again!

Author's Note:

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