Chapter Six A Vicarious Pain

Disclaimer: don't own Castle.

Thx for the reviews. :D Thank you Alison M. DOBELL, for the correction. You were right. Actually, I meant nerveless. Horrible mistake, sorry! :)

So, here's the new chapter. Looking forward to watching the new ep tomorrow! :P

Castle feels himself is falling, falling from somewhere unbelievably high. His limbs seem to be floating on the water surface, but the torrent of air rushing past him because of the high speed of the fall abrades his skin in an indescribably uncomfortable way and sets his torso on fire. It burns like hell.

"Castle!" A woman's voice.

"C'mon bro!" A man's voice.

"Rick, please… Can you hear...stay with me…" The same female voice uttered in a near roar but punctuated by sobs.

"Ma'am, you have to let us do our job."

"No, let me stay. Please."

"Beckett, they're trying to save him!"

Undistinguished voices hover above his face like annoying helicopters. He cannot figure out any one of them. Why is everything so loud and unbearable? And why on earth does he feel burnt in pain while feeling like drifting on water? What has he done to deserve this?

"Let's get him on the gurney. Ready? One, two, three, lift."

"You wanna come along, Ma'am?"

"Espo, Ryan…"

"We'll take care of the scene, you go. Catch you up later. Go!"

"Pulse?"

"Weak. Breathing's slowing. Blood pressure's dropping. 60 over 40."

"Get the mask and bag!"

"Listen, Rick, don't you dare die…Don't you dare!" Kate sits in the back of the ambulance, putting her hand on his good one and curling her slim fingers around his, her heart throbbing with anxiety and fear: fear that she'll never be able to have a real talk with him before he's gone; fear that she'll never have the chance to tell him how she really feels; fear that she'll never make the long due confession that she remembered everything; fear that the rest of her life will be without him who is the only joy that makes her pain assuaged. Tears trickle down her cheeks, forming a small river.

Castle begins to get nervous and above all afraid. He goes on falling, but feeling cold instead of heat now. The confusing voices are still moving frantically around him, without relieving in the least his pain. And then he feels some comforting warmth on his left hand, and his nostrils are immediately filled with a familiar lavender scent. Kate?

"B.P.'s still dropping!"

A long steady beep fills the small space.

"No breathing, no pulse. We're losing him."

"No, no! Cannot be. Please." Kate's grip on his hand grows tighter, as if her own life depends merely on this act, her hands stained crimson by the liquid flowing from his side.

"He's lost too much blood. Put more pressure on the wounds."

"Patch on him." A paramedic cuts Castle's shirt open. "Still charging."

"Everybody clear."

"Anything?"

"No, he's dragging."

"Do it again."

"Charged. All clear."

"Any sign?"

Kate is sitting in the waiting room, alone. Not that she is the only one in this room, but she has no one familiar to turn to in her current state—covered in his blood and her own tears. She feels lonely and for a moment she realizes that is nearly what Castle has been through almost 8 months when she was shot. She stares at a spot on the alabaster wall, thinking of the period when she recovered from the trauma but shut him out. It feels like his voice, his words are still lingering in the air she's now breathing. "I watched you die in that ambulance. Did you know that? You know what that's like, watching the life drain out of someone you…someone you care about?" She knows what that feels now…feels like she is dying too but stuck in the painful reality that she's actually not, which hurts all the more.

"Beckett. Is he alright?" Ryan, Esposito and Lanie run over, sweating and panting.

"Still in the surgery…His condition's…not good." She runs her hand through her hair in frustration. Esposito sits down in the plastic chair next to Beckett, putting his hand on her slightly shuddering shoulder and beginning rubbing it softly. "Martha and Alexis know about this?"

"Yeah, I've…called. They're flying back…I…I just don't know how to face them…"

"Hey," Ryan steps closer and kneels down in front of her, "He'll be fine… I know that."

"Girl, he stayed strong…for you." Lanie's heartbroken at the sight of her best friend torn, "Now, you're gonna be strong too. Okay? An annoying guy like him cannot die so easily."

Beckett nods slowly and buries her face into her palms, regardless of her tears liquefying the dried blood on her hand.

"Families for Richard Castle?" A doctor comes out of the operation room.

"Yes?" All four rise in unison, and scuttle towards the owner of the voice.

"Is…is he okay?" Kate stammers, observing the doctor's reaction cautiously.

"He's alive." The doctor says wearily, taking off his mask and gloves.

She knows there's always a "but" in a situation like this. And then it follows, as predicted.

"But he's comatose. Still in a critical condition. Blood loss. He needs to be under supervision in the ICU for a few days. And…" The doctor trails off.

"And…what?"

"I understand it's hard for you, but…we're not sure yet when or…whether he can come to."

"What?" Consternation settles upon the group, making their mouths drop open.

"How can it be? He's made it, hasn't he? How can you tell me he's probably stuck in the bed for the rest of his life?" Kate becomes agitated, raising her voice instinctively.

"Calm down, Ma'am. Yes, he's made it…at present, I mean. You know, he's lost a lot of blood and experienced a cardiac arrest on the way here, and another one during the surgery. We've done our best to make his heat beat again. I just wanna let you know all the possibilities."

"There're no other possibilities than to live!"

"Beckett," Espo gets hold of her left arm with one hand, trying to pacify her, and reaches out the other to shake hands with the doctor, "Thank you, Dr…"

"Anderson."

"Thank you." Ryan and Lanie echo.

"When can we see him?" Lanie asks for the sake of her friend who is just too overwhelmed to talk now.

"You'll be able to see him in an hour or so. Miss. Lynch at the nurse station will lead you to Mr. Castle's room. But one visitor at a time. He's still groggy. Needs his rest. I'll check on him sometime later tonight and further fills you in on his conditions."

Any thoughts? :)