I am not the man that you see
Just look inside me
The warm, dry air of Morocco caresses Thane's lungs, relief washing over his body with every breath. It feels good to breathe.
"Siha, I'm going to walk around for a bit. Maybe meditate on everything that has happened lately." The crew has barely gotten off of the shuttle before Thane excuses himself, knowing it's too warm for his Siha to join him for too long.
His body leads him far away from the hotel, and into the sandy depths of the Sahara Desert. Hours and hours of walking, focusing on the euphoria of each breath, it only feels like a couple of minutes. He briefly wonders to himself what the rest of the crew is doing, as they don't have his appreciation for their surroundings.
He finds a suitable rock to relax on and folds his hands together on his lap, slipping into a meditative state. The soft sand under his feet, arid climate, and the scurrying wildlife provide the perfect background to achieve such a state of concentration. Every word Shepard has uttered, every movement of her body fills his mind as he reflects on the recent events. It stopped surprising him months ago that his meditations have been completely dominated by his Siha. Her scent, the feel of her hands between his, the taste of her on his lips. But, more recently, the flash of fear in her eyes before being overshadowed with conviction. Now that she has explained the cause behind the fear, he understands why she had tried to push him away. During their month apart, he'd spent many nights trying to figure it out, but it seems so obvious to him now.
The sun starts to set, painting the sky with gorgeous pastels, shades of orange, pink, yellow, blue... The sound of terrified squeaks fall on his ears, bringing him back to the present. His eyes instinctively search for the source, stopping on an owl hovering over a family of furry creatures the color of the sand underneath them. Sharp talons and beak mercilessly search for flesh, the alpha male of the fawny animals drawing its attention away from the rest. Thane's muscles stiffen, Drell memory taking him to a much less happy time.
Crippling fear settles in my gut. Images of my young Kolyat battered and bloody, just like his mother, curse my mind. I can't make it to Kahje fast enough.
-more snarls, threatening barks coming from the small alpha male.
Minutes feel like years. Finally, he runs to me, tears streaming down his face as he wraps his little arms around my leg.
-The owl's talons come in contact with one of the younger creatures, no longer paying attention to the father, causing Thane's memory to skip forward.
He hits me. "Don't let them! Stop them! Why weren't you-?"
His fists glow blue, sending a sharp burst of biotics at the owl, and pulling it harshly into his deadly hands. Gently but forcefully, he pries the talons open and frees the young furry animal. The owl flies away, hungry but smart enough to know it doesn't have a choice. The sand-colored creature-with rather large ears, Thane finally notices- lays motionless in his grasp. The possibility of failure weighs heavy on his chest, I've failed to protect, yet again. Begrudgingly, he places the bloody animal in the den opening in front of its parents, shame keeping him from looking into their eyes. Like they'd judge him, hate him for not saving one of their children.
The mother begins to groom her baby, who-much to Thane's relief- stirs slightly under the administrations. Large, soft-looking ears twitch, searching for the origins of Thane's sigh. He falls to his knees, content to watch the family, now that they're safe for another night. I saved them.
His omni-tool beeps, startling the furry creatures and the Drell studying them.
"Siha?" He's met by her worried face staring back at him from said omni-tool.
"Thane, it's late. I don't want to disturb you, but-" He cuts her off with a slight upturn of his lips, a rare sight.
"I understand. I've been out here for a long time, my apologies." Her features soften.
"I just wanted to see if you're alright. I'm almost ready for bed, but I was hoping we could... talk." Thane hears the nerves raising the pitch of her voice. He glances down at the family, reluctant to leave just yet.
"I'm sending my location to your NavPoint. I want to show you something. Then, we can talk for as long as you wish."
"O-oh. Ok. Do you need me to bring anything?" Thane loves it when her Commander Shepard mask fades, and she exposes her true self. The fact that she's a normal human being with flaws and weaknesses. It's truly a beautiful thing to witness.
"Water, maybe a dish to put it in. What do most creatures out here eat...?" He trails off, focusing his gaze on the animals again. The young have begun play-fighting, squeaking loudly and jumping around wildly. He'd be surprised if Shepard couldn't hear them.
"Usually other desert animals." Her questions are written all over her face, but Thane stands his ground. Damn, I've said too much.
"See you when you get here, siha."
"Looks like I'm not the only friend you've made in 10 years anymore." Shepard grins, hands gripping her hips.
"They were being attacked by an owl. It grabbed the young one here-" he ruffles the fur on its back, chuckling as it yips and runs out of his reach,"-so I saved it."
"You don't strike me as an animal lover, Mr. Krios." Shepard is so close to losing it, to buckling over with laughter. This all was unreal, the ever-stoic Thane having a weakness for furry things?
"Touch one, if they'll let you. Maybe then you'll understand." She has to admit, the look on his face as he observes them is extremely heart-warming.
"These guys, Fennec Foxes, are exotic pets in other areas of Earth. So, you're apparently not the only one that finds them enjoyable." She gathers her composure, wanting to educate the Drell instead of tease him for showing an interest in her culture.
"Fennec Foxes, hm? I... think I like them, siha. The male is a far better father than I." The statement kills any humor left in Shepard.
"You know that I don't want you thinking that way." Thane pushes himself off of the ground and turns his attention to the woman in front of him, taking a chance to notice her attire. She's wearing a blank white cotton sleeveless shirt, and grey shorts, as far as he can tell in the darkness. Her hair is sloppily pulled into a ponytail, tresses already falling out of the hair-tie. He loves how it looks on her, so relaxed and care-free.
"My apologies. I've shown you what I wanted to, so I'm ready to talk now if you wish." Shepard nods and motions for him to follow her into the shuttle she'd flown there. She takes the pilot's seat and starts it up.
"I wanted to know... Why have you accepted my apology so quickly? And my promise to cure Kepral's Syndrome? You weren't so easily convinced last time we talked about it." She's not very good at flying shuttles, her nerves force her to focus mostly on the sights in front of her.
"That was before you brought me back from your suicide mission alive." He rests against the opening before the cockpit, close enough to make Shepard more nervous. "And, tell you what... If you do manage to cure it like you say, I'll give you the silent treatment for a while. I just don't want to waste time being unhappy right now." Shepard can hear the smirk in his voice, his proximity making her pulse race. Her exasperated fear of flying and the desire to be near Thane after him being MIA all day prove to be a deadly combination, overwhelming her senses.
"I do have a habit of making you survive situations that you've expected to die in, huh?" Her eyes are glued to the quickly passing landscape, but she can sense how close he is. It's making the task of focusing very difficult to achieve. He shifts so that he can run a textured hand up her arm, stopping at her shoulder and momentarily making her close her eyes. Thane notices her behavior, her response to his touch, and finds it irresistible.
"I'm not going to be able to get you out of this situation alive if you keep doing that, though." Thane responds by hooking his index finger under the thin strap of cloth over her shoulder and pulling it aside, placing his warm lips in its place.
"I trust you." He murmurs against her skin, chilled by the cool night air. His deep voice and hot mouth give her chills. He trails gentle kisses to her collar bone, and then up her neck, the chilly air teasing the moisture left on her skin from his lips. His body wants to lift the whole article of clothing off of her, but his soul remembers their promise to move slowly.
"Is this your revenge for the other night?" Shepard asks, trying her hardest to ignore the heat growing in her core.
"Oh no, this is nothing compared to what I have planned for that." He nips the tender flesh at the nape of her neck, earning a sharp inhale. Much to Shepard's relief, the hotel lights come into view. "Is this alright? Or am I moving too quickly?" He removes his mouth, worried that he's letting himself get carried away.
"No, it's fine. Evil, but fine." Shepard lands the shuttle rather smoothly, proud of her work even though she is quite distracted.
"What did you do all day, siha?" Thane decides to change the subject, needing a distraction. Plus, he is genuinely curious. These type of questions always make butterflies gather in Shepard's stomach. Most people ask just to be polite, Thane asks because he actually cares.
"The hotel has a swimming pool. The whole crew spent a few hours in it, the rest of the day was spent playing a few different games. Everyone drank except for me, I'm tired of being carried to my bed while drunk." Thane raises what Shepard assumes is the Drell's equivalent of an eyebrow at this, earning a guilty laugh.
"Something I should know?" They haven't left the shuttle yet, content to just stay in each other's company.
"After I helped Liara take down the Shadow Broker, she decided to join me for a little while. I ended up getting drunk and she helped me to my room. And then you carried me back to the Normandy..."
"So I don't have to worry about any guys that tried to make moves on you while I was away? Good, no one likes thinking about work while on vacation." Shepard lets out a surprised laugh, not used to Thane cracking jokes. A small voice in her head reminds her that, if he's not one to joke around, maybe he isn't kidding...
Thane is taken by surprise, as well. That wasn't what he was thinking, why did he say that? Since when did he even worry about such things? She was in swimwear in front of the whole crew. Every male saw her in a bikini, saw more of her than they shou- No, stop thinking like that. Suddenly the vacation got a lot less pleasant.
Author's Note: Fennec Foxes are super adorable, I've been watching videos of them lately. When I remembered they live in deserts, I did some research on specific areas and decided to take my story there. I think I added the fox family to emphasize that there's more to him than his ability to kill. Whether or not that's truly why I did it, I regret nothing! This chapter got away from me a little bit, and just kept trailing on and on... It started out cutesy and went downhill. Thane's already feeling the repercussions of leaving Shep alone all day, might lead to a little jealousy, might not. Reviews keep me updating!
Also, wanted to let everyone know that I was informed this chapter wasn't opening, so I reposted it.