Chapter 1: Travelers' Tails
South island
The Green Hill Zone
"I bet you're all wondering why I called this urgent meeting." Said Sonic the Hedgehog.
He was standing in front of Amy 'Rosy the Rascal' Rose, Princess Sally Alicia Acorn, Mighty the Armadillo, Ray the Squirrel, Bean the Dynamite Duck, Bark Polar bear, Miles 'Tails' Prower, Lien-Da, and Fiona the False Fox.
"Not really." Said Tails.
"No." Said Sally.
"THIS is an urgent meeting?" yawned Bean.
"Can it wait till after lunch?" Quipped Ray.
"Ha ha, very funny. The reason I called you here is that I decided that life here was getting boring…"
"You called us here to state the obvious?"
"NO. I decided that we should do what everyone in there late teens should do…"
"But I'm only 13." Said Tails
"I was being general! Anyway, where was I, oh yeah. I think we should all travel the world!
"Great Idea Sonic, except for the fact that travel is expensive and were all, like, flat broke." Said Fiona.
"Money? What do we need money for? This is Mobius. We can walk or take our bicycles. Food grows wild nearly everywhere and water is free. It's warm enough to sleep outside. We should hardly let the fact that were all broke beyond belief stop us."
"He's got a point." Said Mighty.
"But knowing us someone's gona need Bail money eventually." Piped in Ray.
"Another good point"
"Relax, if that happens well just have Bean do his stuff and break 'em out of jail." Said Sonic.
"But what about Eggman. He's still on the loose and keeps sending those stupid robots after us." Fiona said.
"Another good…"
"Would you stop saying that! Besides, he's been favoring his E-series lately. Those won't give us any trouble since they break down more often than Mighty's car. Now if he decides to use his Metal series, well, then we're screwed."
Elsewhere at Eggman's ultra top secret base in the scrap brain zone under the abandoned bowling ally where you definitely won't find a secret entrance behind the Virtua fighter machine…
"My metal rejuvenation project is almost complete and when it is I can finally destroy that cocky hedgehog and his merry band of freedom fighter and then I, Dr. Robotnik, can finally turn all of south island into eggmanland, the world's largest and most expensive amusement park. Since only one metal is done ill have to rely on my e series to get the job done for now. Arise Hyper Metal! When you find him… kill him! No, that's not right, oh well, just stay here for now."
Back with our intrepid travelers…
"So here's my plan." Continued Sonic." We all know Green Hill too well, so we'll skip this zone. I figure we'll explore the entire island and then head on over to Westside island. Everyone should go home eat lunch and pack. We can meet back here in 2 hours. Ok now let's go! Oh, only pack necessities like walkmans and food."
Everyone went home to eat and came back all packed, in fact everyone was back within an hour. Except they had packed with mixed results. Bean was carrying a suitcase marked 'high explosives'. Bark was wearing boxing shorts, gloves and had wrapped his wrists. Lien-Da was in a winter cap and coat and was on skis. Amy had brought all her tarot cards and all her other magical stuff in a bag that looked suspiciously like one stole from Felix the cat a while back. Sally was in a bikini, sun glasses and straw hat even though they covered up more than what she usually wore. Tails still had a sandwich hanging out of his mouth from lunch. Ray was in full Boy Scout uniform complete with campaign hat and had a full set of camping supplies in his backpack. Fiona was carrying a pickaxe, metal detector, and wearing a pit helmet.
"Alright, what is this? I thought you people to pack light and appropriately. Lien-Da, There is no skiing on any of the islands."
"But the ice cap zone…"
"Is on the floating isle. Amy, just how will all of your magical equipment help us? Sally, while that bikini emphasizes your assets we're not hitting the beach immediately. While I like the prospect of finding buried treasure, Fi, we don't even have a map. Ray is the only one of us who packed right. Tell them all what you've got, Ray.
"I've got a tent, sleeping bag, 4 changes of clothes for different environment, Pots, pans, and the entire contents of my fridge."
"Ok, Ray, while I value the fact that you're prepared, the truth is that we're all sleeping without tents, that the nights are too warm for blankets, and the fact that you don't even wear clothes is a bit of a problem. But bringing all of your food was a good idea. How much food do you have?
"A club sandwich."
Sonic sighed as everyone dumped their stuff.
"If everyone's done getting rid of all the unnecessary junk, we'll be off."
Sonic and everyone took off across the zone. it wasn't long before someone pointed out one of the flaws in Sonic's plan.
"Hey Sonic, what's our first stop?" Asked Tails.
"Well I figured we could go to Starlight City via the Marble zone."
"You do realize its 50 miles to the entrance of the Marble zone. It'll take us 3 days to get there."
Sonic stopped.
"Well" said sonic smiling as he scratched the back of his head" I had kinda forgotten the fact that you all can't run as fast as me. He he. Oops."
"Oh that's just great. Now what do we do?" Asked Lien-Da.
"We could do it MY way." Said Fiona with a sly grin on her face.
20 minutes later they were at a rural bus stop. Technically they were on the roof of a rural bus stop. A few minutes later a bus came along and stopped.
"When I give the signal we jump. Annnnd…NOW!"
Fi gave her whispered yell and they all jumped on the roof of the bus. The driver felt the bus shake but thought it was because a fat guy had just taken a window seat.
"You know," said Tails" I could have just hotwired the ticket dispenser and got us free passes."
"Yeah, but what would be the fun in that."
The bus took off and they sat there as the wind rushed by. Sonic turned on his walkman to a local techno station and they listened as they ate the last of their lunches. They went for almost an hour without getting into trouble. That was soon rectified. In the opposite direction came an Inter-zone cop.
"Crap, pigs! What do we d-do!" stammered Ray."
"Maybe he wont see us…" hoped Sonic.
Moments after the cop passed he pulled a 180 and hit his lights.
"…or maybe he will."
"DRIVER OF THE BUS, YOU HAVE HICHIKERS ON YOUR ROOF. PULL OVER IMMEDIATELY!" Called the cop over his loudspeaker.
The bus started to pull over.
"We're totally busted. How much time will we do for this?" asked Lien-Da.
"2 weeks or a 50,000 mobium fine. Each." Said Bark.
"When we stop make a dash for the woods. The cop won't follow us in there." Said Fiona.
The bus pulled of the road and the cop pulled up behind it. Everyone jumped off the roof and ran towards the thick undergrowth. To speed things up a little Sonic scooped up Sally and Tails took off flying. As Fiona ran she dropped some caltrops behind her. The cop got out of his car and took off after them, but learned very quickly not to walk over spiky ninja tools.
They ran for a mile before stopping. The cop had given up rather quickly, since he was one cop chasing 10 unidentified teens. That and the caltrops went through the soles of his shoes, Which hurt.
"See, I told you we would end up needing bail money." Said Ray.
"Relax. Besides, we weren't caught. And the timing couldn't be better." Said Sonic.
"Why?" Asked Tails.
"We're at the entrance to the marble zone."
Sonic pointed to the top of a nearby hill where there was a gateway made up of old Greek architecture.
"Well that's convenient." Noted Sally.
The ragged group walked up the hill, except Sonic who ran.
According to my 'Ultimate guide to South Island; 3233 edition' it says that the marble zone 'is a muntanous zone that is known for its greek-style ruins and natural hot springs. People usually stay away because the zone is made up of an active volcano, and rivers of lava are common."
"Tails," said Bean, " that book is already 3 years out of date."
"That doesn't matter. What Does is that this is the first step of our super deluxe travels. Through this ruinous gateway we will leave the comfort of green hill and get out into the world. Lets go."
"Hey Sonic," asked tails, "Is this the only way to the city?"
"No, why?"
"Because in there are a lot of volcanoes and danger and stuff."
"Exactly!"
They headed into the zone. it was very quiet and peaceful. There were no sounds of cars or people or airplanes or anything. It was very soothing and relaxing. So much so that soon everyone was smiling and felt like they didn't have a care in the world. Which they didn't.
It wasn't long before Sonic came up with another stupid idea.
"Maybe we should have a race. We could split into two teams."
"Sonic. I love that idea." Said Amy.
Fiona, Lein-Da, Sally, and Tails can go with me, and you all can go off by yourself.
"Why can't I go with you, Sonic?" Asked Amy
Well, uh, because… we have to let the other team have some girls, too.
He could hardly tell her that the real reason was because he looked at her as the stalker who can't be stopped.
"But just me?"
"We should draw straws." Suggested Mighty
"Why, I like the way the teams are"
"Because," Mighty whispered to Sonic," you know what happens to Amy when you try to get rid of her. Amy will go away and we'll get stuck with HER."
"On second thought drawing straws is a great idea."
They drew straws and divided into two teams. Mighty had the straws and rigged them to put Amy on the other team out of pity for Sonic. It ended up being Mighty, Amy, Ray, Bean, and Fiona vs Sonic Sally, Lien-Da, Bark, and then split up and took two different routs through the zone.
Team Mighty took the high route while team Sonic took the low route.
Soon team sonic came across a large cave. It was pretty dark inside. There were even some strange noises coming out of it.
"Hey sonic," Asked Sally, "It looks kinda dangerous and a little dark. Maybe we should go back."
"No way! If we go back we'll lose to the other team, and I bet mighty 100 mobiums we'd win."
"Well then, does anyone have a light?" Asked Lien-Da.
"Why? You don't smoke" said Ray
"I meant to illuminate the cave, numb nuts"
"I've got a keychain flashlight." Said Sally.
"Cool. Well, if there are no more objections I vote we get going before I loose money I don't have." Said Sonic
They ventured into the cave and went along slowly. Suddenly a flock of batbots flew past.
"Eeek, bats!"
"Is Eggman attacking us?"
"No. I think these are leftover from when he tried to take over the island the first time. Ya know, you sound kinda cute when you scream, Sally."
"It wasn't me."
"Lien-Da?"
"No"
They all looked at Tails.
"What, it wasn't me! Really"
"Tails it had to be you. There's no one else"
"What about bark?"
"You mean the guy who never speaks"
"Well, you try sounding manlier when you'r always voiced by girls!"
Back above ground we find team Mighty, who are not doing too well.
"I told you not to touch that boulder!" yelled Fiona.
If we go back in time about 5 minutes we'll fine the team just reaching the peak of a rather steep hill.
"wow what a climb. That was tiring" Said Ray.
"On the plus side the rest is all down hill." Said Amy with a sigh of relief.
"Yeah." Said Mighty as he leaned against a rather unstable looking bolder.
"Hey Mighty, that rock looks like it could roll over us any second" said Fi.
"What, this? Nah. This rocks not going anywhere, see."
Mighty punched the bolder. He then remembered that he was super-strong.
"Oops"
The rock started to come loose and role towards mighty, who had already started running. The bolder took rocks and dirt along with it until it was a regular landslide. Team mighty was now making excellent time. After all they were running for there lives.
"Mighty, if we live through this, remind me to kill you!"
"As if."
At the bottom of the hill was a small ravine. They all jumped across, barely making it. The ruble rolled down and into the crevice.
"That was close. Hey, where's Ray?" asked Mighty looking around.
"a…little…help…here"
Ray was holding on to the ledge, and all they could see was his fingers.
"Ray, oh my gosh, are you ok?" Said Mighty as he pulled up Ray.
"Don't worry Ray, I'll never let anything hurt you"
"Oh mighty"
"Oh ray"
Suddenly their eyes were all a-glitter and they were surrounded by rainbows and flowers.
"I hate to break up all this shojo, but if you two pansies would look ahead you'd see we have more problems." Said Fi, pointing.
In front of them lay a wide open field. It was grassy but littered with hundreds of pools of boiling lava.
"If we're not careful we'll get overcooked." Said Amy.
"That's putting it 'mildly.' "Joked Mighty" Ha ha, get it, overcooked, mildly, ya know its like.. er.. never mind."
Back in the caves…
After stumbling around for a while the cave they were in started to glow. There were rivers of lava flowing through parts of the cave. The glow it emitted felt warm and inviting, but with just a hint of danger.
"well at least we can see a little now. "
"yup"
tails and bark had gotten a little ahead of the others.
Sonic noticed that he was now alone with Sal and Lien-Da. He realized that now was his chance.
"you know girls," Started Sonic, "you are both beautiful young mature girls…
Sonic put an arm around each girl
"…And I am a handsome young virile man. This cave is nice and warm…and dark.
His hands slid down and squeezed their boobs.
"Furthermore, I think…."
Sonic was cut off mid-sentence as a brown furry fist made contact with his nose, and a large black boot swung up into the last place he wanted to be kicked.
"Wait for us, Tails" Called the girls together.
The girls ran up to Tails and Bark.
"What happened to Sonic?"
"He's, uh…" stammered Lien-Da.
"Indisposed?"
"Very well put, Bark."
Eventually they made it out of the cave and ended up in a wooded area. They walked through the woods for about a mile until they came to a small clearing. In it they saw something they wanted, and someone they didn't.
Mighty and his crew had been running through the lava field avoiding all the pitfalls and had done a very good job of it. At the end of the field they came to a cave entrance, but since it would bring them in the wrong direction they decided to head off into the woods. They walked for a few minutes until Amy spoke up.
"Is that steam rising out of the woods?"
"Lets check it out."
They ran through the undergrowth until they came to an opening, where they found a… hot springs!
Along with it was a very (very) small single story Japanese inn, a ramen cart, and an old man (well, he was actually only 40, but to our cast that's old)
Hey, old man" yelled mighty how much to stay at this inn"
Well, to tell you the truth I'm not open for business yet. You see I've been building this small place for over a year now and I open for the first time next week.
"Oh." Said Mighty dejectedly.
Tell you what. If you help me clean this place up ill let you stay here for free. I'll even give you a ride into town in the morning."
He pointed behind him to a VW microbus that was so rusty you could see in one side and out the other.
"Uh cool. Ok then, lets get to work guys."
An hour later they were relaxing in the springs. There were two pools, one higher than the other. They were separated by a 12 foot wall, and the water from one flowed like a waterfall over the wall into the other. The girls side was on top, and the lower side was the guys. When team Sonic came out of the woods they saw the springs and thought of cleaning off all the ash from those lava pits. Then they saw team Mighty and realized they had lost. Sonic didn't like the fact of having to pay out to Mighty, so he decided not to mention it in case the armadillo forgot.
"Hey, Sonic, you owe me 100 m's."
"Crap."
And so as the sun set they lounged about in the pools, the hot water soothed their muscles from the days arduous journey. Of course, sonic had yet another totally stupid idea that was bound to end in utter failure. But he tried it anyway.
"hey guys, do you realize that on top of this wall are 3 totally hot and soaking wet babes."
"but there are 4 girls"
"Ok, so three totally hot babes and Amy. Anyways if we climb this wall and peak over well get to see something wonderful."
"You realize if you'r caught the girls'll make you regret it"
"Whats the worst they could do to me?"
"well, they could make you…uh…"
"Eat shit." Said bark.
"Since that's only on expression I have nothing to worry about. Listen, you can hear them."
"Oh Sally, I never realized how mature you're body is. It looks marvelous."
"It feels even better, especially down here."
"You're right. Would you like to feel mine?"
"This is too much. I'm going in."
Sonic slowly climbed the stone wall
"Sneaky sneaky sneaky, I'm a sneaky guy. I'm gona see some tail and…"
Sonic reached the top of the wall to find 4 shiny wet goddeses standing right over him… all in bathing suits.
"Hello, Sonic" said Sally seductively as she squatted down in front of him." Were you hoping to see some girl-on-girl action? Hmmm?"
"we'll its just that…"
"you could hear us. We know."
"then you were just…"
Sally tensed her muscles and reached behind her for something..
"…Sound carries very well here."
With that sally shoved a very fresh pile of crap onto Sonic's head. He fell off the wall and down into the water below.
"I warned you, Sonic."
Bark just sighed.
After hanging around for a while in the springs the whole crew got udon noodles at the old man's noodle stand. They sang and laughed and talked into the night. Lien-da drank enough sake for three of them and mighty had to drag her carcass to her room. Actually the inn only had 5 rooms. All the girls got one room and the guys got another.
In the morning they turned in their blue hot springs robes and piled into the old VW. The ride out to town was an adventure in itself. They had piled 11 people into a car made for 9, but due to its age it probably couldn't hold more than 3. The back door was missing and their top speed was 31mph. until they started going dow a long hill just outside of Starlight. Then things got interesting.
"Hey old man, arn't we going a bit fast." Asked Ray nervously.
"Well. I may have neglected to fix the leaky breaks."
"Oh that's just great." Said Lien-Da.
"Were all going to die." Yelled Tails.
"Put it in low gear." Suggested Mighty.
"Low gear is broken."
"Use the e-break"
"Broken"
"The wipers!"
"How would that help?" asked Fiona frantically.
"Actually,…"
"They're Broken, We Know!" they all said at once.
They barreled down the road and as they reached 130 km/ph the whole van started rattling. One by one all the doors fell off. Then they lost the hubcaps. And yes, that is the correct order.
"Screw this. Lets jump before the wheels fall off." Said Sonic
"It's a bit Late For That!" Yelled Ray as a tire rolled passed them.
They all jumped out and rolled onto the grassy knoll along the road. Tails flew out. Ray jumped last and unfortunately landed in a muddy swamp. The van piled down the hill and into a telephone pole. The driver flew out the windshield so hard that he was flying off towards the horizon
"I'm ok!"
Then they heard a loud crash.
"I'm still ok."
"They all started walking down the hill. At the bottom was the entrance to Starlight City.
"Hurray, its the city." Said Tails.
"Finally we can find some action." Said Fi.
"Look where we are." Said Sally, pointing to a huge gateway.
Right in front of them was the amusement park.
"Alright, it's the Spring Yard amusement park!" Said Tails.
"Are you high?" Asked Bean.
"Can we go, Sonic, can we?" Begged Tails.
"Only if we can get in without paying"
They went over to the park entrance. Mighty went to check it out. He quickly came back with his scouting report.
"Even with the evening prices we still can't afford to get in. the girls might have a chance, though. The booth on the end is run by a young dorky looking guy who might just let in 4 flirtatious girls."
"What about the 6 of us?" Questioned Sonic.
"The gates are rather vacant right now. If you chikas can distract him we can slip in behind him."
The girls agreed and voted for Fiona to try first. She snuck over to the booth. The guy inside was reading a copy of Playfurry magazine.
"Perfect" She whispered to herself.
"Hello there, Handsome." Said Fiona.
"A, uh, hello. What can I do for you."
"Its More like what can you do to me that I'm interested in."
(gulp) "Wha-what do you mean?."
"Your cute and juuust my type. Really. I don't have enough money to get in but if maybe you could look the other way I could pay you off in a different way, hmmm?"
As Fi was seducing the clerk the rest of the gang were sneaking in behind his booth.
"Boy she's good." Whispered Sonic.
"I wish she would talk to me like that." Said Tails to himself.
"Well then," said the clerk "since there's nobody around I think I have 5 minutes, would you like to come in."
He opened the door to his booth and motioned for her to come in.
"Right now! well I, er, Do you have protection?" Fi was frantic now for a way out of this.
"In my wallet."
"Of course you do."
"What was that?"
"I, uh, have to use the bathroom. Could I just pop over. I'll be back in a minute." She crossed her fingers and hoped that would work.
"Hurry back."
Fiona ran through the gates and instead of going to the bathroom turned right and met up with the group around the corner.
"We heard every word, Fi." Commented Sonic.
"Ha! That was good. He almost called your bluff without knowing it." Laughed Mighty.
"There no way I would do him just for a free pass."
"What would you do him for?" Said Sally seductively.
"What would you do me for?" Asked Tails.
After Fiona taught Tails a painful lesson they all went into the park. What they didn't know was that the security guard had seen the whole thing on camera. He went out and started to hunt them down so he could throw them out.
Everyone had split up and were now spread across the entire park. It wasn't long before the guard found his first victim. Fiona was on the twirl-a-hurl. When she got out she was a little dizzy. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm afraid you'r going to have to come with me." Said the security guard sternly.
"Like hell, pig!"
Fiona kicked the unfortunate guard in the nuts and took off for the park exit. She knew his jurisdiction ended there.
"Why is it I did all the work to get us in and I've got to leave here first."
What she didn't know was that the guard had split personalities, and kicking him in the 'kiwi's ' brought out his "worse" half. He started to breath heavily and drool.
"Must…eradicate…trespassers!"
Lein-Da was in the gift shop. It was very large and tightly packed with all sorts of junk from mugs to coats to post cards. Which was good for Lien-Da, since she was practicing her pick pocketing. First she grabbed a coat and draped it over her arm. She then bumped into a half dozen people and the post card stand. She the went over to the dressing room where she pulled 6 wallets out from under the coat.
"lets see what I got. 12, 50, 100… 24,000 mobiums. Cool."
She stuck the cash in her shirt and the postcards down her spandex pant leg. She took the wallets and threw them away. Suddenly the door opened and there stood the rabid looking dingo guard.
"Hey! what the…"
"must… punish…miscreants. Must…strip search…miscreants."
"No way I'm gona get raped by a rent-a-dork in a dressing stall."
Lien-Da kicked him in the face and took off running. Suddenly she had a small crowd of irate pickpocket victims chasing her"
"This is by far my worst (yet most profitable) trip to an amusement park ever!"
Sonic and Tails were riding the rollercoaster. They were having fun until they saw the guard on a beam above the track. He was looking more and more like a zombie now, with his skin looking pale almost to the point of being albino.
"I didn't know this was a horror ride."
As they passed under him he dropped down into the last car and started to climb towards sonic and tails car. There screams turned from screams of joy to shrieks of terror.
"Tail' I don't think he's part of the ride!"
"Quick get into the forwardmost car!"
Sonic and Tails crawled forward as the guard closed in on them. Suddenly Sonic got an idea.
"Tails, when I say 'now', jump!"
"Ok."
The guard came closer and closer. suddenly the cars passed under another beam.
"Jump!"
They lunged for the beam. The guard kept going towards a loop-de-loop. The cars went around the loop, but thanks to a great thing called 'gravity' the guard fell out when the cars were upside down.
"Can we go now, Sonic?"
"You don't want to hang around while all the time risking an attack from a zombie cop."
"That's what 'Resident Evil' is for"
"Good Point."
Bean and Bark were in the arcade. Bean was at the UFO catcher, trying to get a Speedy Cerviche doll. He had been trying (and failing) for over an hour.
"Stupid machine, all that time and all I have to show for it is a broken popsicle stick. I wonder if Bark is doing any better."
He walked over to the fighting games, which were the only ones bark liked, only to find a long line in front of the 'Virtua Fighters Megamix' machine. He found bark at the front of the line, along with a pile of cash.
"Is everyone here trying to beat you?"
"…"
"your charging 100m to try
"…"
"If someone beats you, they get the whole pot"
"…"
"Are we rich yet"
"…"
"Your silence is very reassuring"
Suddenly the rabid guard from the bowls of the earth burst through the doors, causing little girls to scream and run in terror.
"Uh bark, time to grab that cash and run!"
Bean grabbed the bag of coins and ran
"Quick, out the back!"
They crashed through the back door and into the ally. rent-a-zero #1 was right behind them. They toppled over some garbage cans as they ran. The cop ran into them and tripped over a box. He flew headlong into a dumpster.
"Quick, shut him in!"
They closed the lid and pushed the dumpster into the street, which was on quite a hill. The guard suddenly burst out.
"Ieeeeee!"
At that point the dumpster started rolling down hill. Bark just waved and bean tried to recover from the heart palpitations. The guard took the smelliest trip in the park's history. As he rolled he picked up speed and became a hurling dumpster of doom. He took out a cotton candy cart (which was bad)
a clown (which was good) and ended up going off a dock and into lake starlight.
Sally was alone with Amy. This was in reality a lot worse than you could imagine. You see, Sally and Amy both want Sonic. Sonic wants Sally but wants to avoid Amy. So putting these two rivals in the same area is bad, unless you like a good catfight. You see, when Amy thinks sonic is cheating on her, she changes. She turns form her normal self into, well, you'll see.
They were walking through the haunted house. Sally was trying to avoid a conversation with Miss Rose.
"This is sooo scary. Isn't this the scariest thing you've ever seen?"
"Only the second most."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"When we find Sonic I'm going to hug him and squeeze him and hug him some more."
"That's great, Amy."
"Don't you like me and Sonic together."
"Uh, yeah, sure."
Don't you like me and sonic together. (the illogical processing in Amy's twisted brain)
"Sally, oh Saaaaally."
"Please, god, no"
"You can't be with sonic. Sonic only like Rosy the Rascal! Yaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Amy had now transformed into her crazy side, Rosy the Rascal! Her hair was now up and her hammer was different.
"Time for smashy!"
"No. Amy, no!"
Suddenly a fire door swung open. Amy was standing in front of it and it hit her, flinging her across the room. It knocked back what little sense she had.
"Wha…what happened"
The guard came in the door. Except now along with the drooling, vacant stare, and albino skin, he was now covered in garbage and lillypads.
"It's the sludgemonster from the earth's core! And it's real!" They said in unison.
"Take this!" yelled Amy as she lunged towards her assailant.
"No, Amy, its no use!" Yelled Sally.
Amy swung her hammer at the newest addition to the haunted house. She sent it flying across the room.
"Lets get out of here!" Said Sally.
They ran out, leaving the poor guard. Fortunately that conk on the head returned him to a human being. Except that he couldn't figure out why he was covered in garbage.
Mighty and ray were the only ones who weren't found by the security guard and genuinely enjoyed themselves. When they left the park they found everyone in the parking lot thoroughly exhausted.
"Wow, that was fun. We should do this all the time" Said Ray.
They all flipped him the bird, much to his confusion.
The park was on the edge of Starlight City. Most of them had only visited there once or twice. And that was during the day. They couldn't wait to see it now, for the sun was setting and Starlight was a city of the night.
"oh boy, starlight at night! The clubs. The casinos. The shows!"
"The muggers, the rapist, the yakuza."
"Don't worry. All we have to do is avoid dark creepy allies, like that one"
"He pointed to a nearby ally that was pitch black. The only thing tails could see was the tip of a tentacle. Suddenly he saw a pair of eyes blink!
"If you could give me a moment, guys, I'd like to faint now. Somebody please catch me."
Tails fainted, and since everyone thought someone would catch him, nobody did.
"You done now, dude?" Asked Sonic.
"I guess"
"To avoid what happened at the park, I vote we not split up. Now where do you want to go first."
"The casino" Said Fiona.
"A nightclub" Said Lien-Da.
"A show" Wondered Bean out loud.
"Strip clubs" Yelled mighty.
"A discotek" Asked Ray.
"What?" Asked Sonic.
"Quiet! Since we obviously can't decide, we'll split up, but only into 2 groups" this way, in the event of us running into cops or the zombie apocalypse, we have a better chance of escaping. Everyone who wants to go to a casino stand here. Everyone who wants to go to a nightclub, stand there"
"What about a discotek." Asked Ray.
"Only if we can burn it down beforehand"
They all lined up Sonic, Sally, Tails, Fiona, and Bark decided to win some cash. The others left for the clubs.
The Casino…
Despite not wanting to split up, once they got to the casino, they all split up. Sonic went to the roulette table with sally. Tails sat down at a slot machine. Fiona went for the horse races. Bark sat down at a blackjack table.
"Always bet on red." Sonic Said confidently.
"black 28" Said the dealer.
"As I said, always bet on black."
"red 5"
"I, uh, um… always bet on 0"
"00"
"oh for the love of…" Said Sally as she slapped her head.
"Maybe we should try poker?"
Tails was sitting at a 1m slot machine. He only had 100m that he had found in a vending machine.
After 99 pulls he hadn't hit anything.
"Oh please last coin, bring me lots-a-luck and give me some cash."
With his hand shaking, Tails put his last coin into the machine and pulled the handle. The fruits started going round and round. The first one was a cherry. The second… a cherry!
"Oh please oh please oh please oh please…"
Suddenly the last one stopped… on a cherry! Coins started flowing into of the tray and started spilling out onto the floor.
"I'm rich, I'm rich!"
What Tails would only find out later was that he only got 98m's in 1m coins. Which, of course, was less than when he started.
Fiona wasn't really doing too well. It didn't take long before she lost all her money on the ponies.
"Damn that Rarity, why'd she have to trip! Its not fair, it's just not fair. I wonder how our silent polar bear friend is doing?"
She made her way through the casino, and there was Bark sitting all by himself at the corner blackjack table, along with a large pile of chips.
"Wow, how much are you up"
"He's up 100,000m" Said the friendly dealer.
"Bark, I'm impressed."
In the next 20 minutes Bark played nearly 100 hands, and amidst all the splitting and doubling down bark went up to 250,000m's.
Suddenly the dealer dropped a card.
It was innocent enough but Bark was instantly on guard. He stood up, grabbed his chips, and started towards the cashier at a fast pace.
Bean, What's up? You seem spooked. You were doing so well. Another hour and we- I mean you, would be rich.
"She dropped a card."
"So she dropped a card, it happens. You should see when I shuffle a deck. Cards go everywhere…or was there something more to it?"
"She signaled the floor manager."
"But you weren't cheating. I know they hate card counters, but…they could still throw us out, couldn't they?"
"…"
"At least we have enough for a hotel tonight."
Meanwhile Mighty, Ray, Lien-Da, Bean, and Amy had gone to Club Starlight, a classy club in a non classy neighborhood. It was ladies night, so the girls were able to get in free. They convinced the bouncers that mighty, and ray, were their dates, and that they should let them in for free. Bean decided he had a much better way to get in. he rooted around in a dumpster until he found some Styrofoam balls, an old mop head, and a torn curtain. He rapped the curtain around him like a dress, stuck the Styrofoam in it, and used the mop head as a wig. This actually fooled the bouncer, who's IQ matched that of a pile of bricks.
Inside was your standard club. It had a DJ on a stage playing techno (which was so loud that you couldn't hear yourself think). Booths were lined up along each wall, and at the back was a long bar, complete with an all-girl staff.
"Time to party!" Said Lien-Da.
"What? You need to potty?" Yelled Bean over the music.
"You won the lotty? When? And why are you talking like a baby?" Asked Ray.
"Let's dance." Said Mighty.
"pets prance?" Said a very confused Amy.
The group danced the night away, which only lasted for an hour. Of course, they can't spend the night having fun without something happening. In a large booth in the back of the club was a panther in a purple pinstripe suit and a few girls. On of the girls had spilled a bloody mary on his suit and he was slapping her around. Suddenly someone grabbed his arm.
"You should never hit a woman." Said Mighty
"Do you know who I am?"
"Sure. You're an asshole."
"Why you…"
the panther took a swing at mighty, who stepped out of the way and tripped him.
"Um mighty, I think there's something you should know…" Said Ray
"That's it! Kiss your ass goodbye, armadillo. Boys!"
Suddenly a dozen bouncers surrounded the small band.
Uh, what was it you wanted to say, Ray?
Well, this club is called "Club Panther", so I thought…
"Oh crap"
"Lets rumble!" Yelled Lien-Da.
The club erupted into a massive brawl. It spread like a wave across the whole club. Within a moment everyone was fighting everyone else for no apparent reason.
"Damn, this is fun. How ya holding up Amy" Asked Mighty.
"I'm doing fine (oof).Rosy smashie!"
"I'm ok" said ray just before a chair was broken over his head
"I'm… still ok."
"Yo, Lien-Da, ray's down and Rosy's out. Plus I hear sirens. Lets bounce.
"but I'm having too much fun."
Fine, whatever. Ray and I are out of here. Hay, bean, lets go"
Mighty carried ray and led bean out the back as the cops from jet grind radio poured in the front.
"You think the girls I'll make it out of there."
"Not without 10 counts of assaulting an officer."
Suddenly Amy came crashing out of a window.
"Is this Amy or rosy I'm talking to?" Asked Mighty
"The one who wants to run."
"Glad to have you back, Amy, but where are we going."
"Tails beeped me. They got us a hotel room."
"Thank god. At lease tonight I can relax and spread out on a nice large bed…"
"…or not."
The arrived at the motel to find that they all had to share one room.
"Was it too much to ask to get the girls a separate room." Questioned Ray to no one in particular.
"Ray, you and I are going to have to have a talk later." whispered Mighty to Ray
"Well, bark is the only one of us who won any money, so he's paying for all this." Said Sonic
"Speaking of which, where is bark anyways?" Asked Mighty.
"He wanted to go spend his cash on a car." Answered Bean.
"That would make travel easier" Said Ray.
"Bark's so big, I bet he'll get us a SUV, maybe even a hummer!" Said Amy emphatically.
"Putting that aside, how are we going to fit 10 of us in a room with only 2 double beds?" Said Sonic.
"9, we lost Lien-Da somewhere" Said Ray.
"Well, we 3 girls get the bed closest to the bathroom. You 5 can share the bed and couch." Said Sally.
"The couch!" They all yelled.
All the guys lunged for the couch at once in an attempt to get to sleep alone. They all landed on the couch at the same time and were fighting over it when suddenly the door swung open. Standing there was something large and yellow.
"Bark, did you get a car?" Asked Bean
"…"
"Do you want the couch?"
"…"
"no way, I want the couch." Said Sonic
Bark walked over to sonic and leaned his hulking frame over him.
"I paid for the room, I paid for the couch. I get the couch. Agreed?"
"Um, agreed."
The girls hung a sheet between them and the boy's side of the room. With Bark on the couch, Sonic, Tails, Mighty, Ray, and Bean had to share a bed made for two. Which is an impossibility. Tails and Ray found this out quickly as they were on the ends. After rolling off three times each they decided the floor looked very comfortable.
They all woke up by 11:00 the next day.
"I can't wait to see the awesome and luxurious car you bought." Said Mighty to Bark.
"Hey Bark, how'd you find a dealer open at midnight?" Asked Bean
"…"
"That's right, it's the city of the night."
Oh bark its amazing! Said Sally.
There in the parking lot was a giant Maibatsu Thunder 20 seater ultimate deluxe SUV.
"I can't believe you won that much cash!" Said Amy as she stared at the giant red SUV.
"I know you didn't win that much cash." Said Fiona.
Suddenly a fat businessman got into the SUV and pulled out. Behind it was a yellow…fiat 500. it was the only other car in the parking lot.
"Um, is that it?" Asked Ray, pointing to the midget car.
"I thought you would have bought something that, you know, reflects your build." Said Sonic.
"…"
"Ok, ok, its great. But it barely seats 3. We're 9"
"Girls in the front, guys in back. I drive." Stated Bark.
They probably set a world record. After all, 9 Mobians in a F500 is not something done every day.
Bark drove. Fi sat in his lap (which he liked), with Amy and Sally in the passenger seat. In the back was just a tangle of arms and legs.
"Tails, get your tails out of my face" Said a muffled voice.
"Sonic, get your foot out of my face."
"Mighty, get your face out of my foot!"
Eventually they all ended up sitting upright.
"Where to now, sonic." asked Ray
"Well, what's left for zones?"
"Scrap brain industrial zone." Said Fi looking at a road map.
"Do we have enough gas masks for that area?"
One long and uncomfortable car trip later…
"So this is the scrap brain zone." Said Fiona as they got out of the car.
"It looks worse than when Eggman was here."
"That's because I've made some improvements!" Said a mysterious voice from above.
"Doctor Robotnik!" They all said in unison.
"The one and only."
"There's no way you can defeat us Eggman. It's ten of us vs. you!" Said Sonic as he struck a pose.
"Uh, Sonic, we lost Lien-Da, remember?" Said Mighty.
"There's still 9 of us here to fight you!"
"Ray's not a fighter, Sonic, so it's only 8."
"10, 8, 80 who cares. The fact is that we outnumber you!"
"I wouldn't speak so fast, sonic." Bellowed the Eggman. "Egg Robos!"
Suddenly 500 eggrobos poured out of the nearby allies.
"Now what do you think, Sonic!"
"Are those re-skinned E-100's?"
"Uh, er, no. Of course not! These are my new robots, the, uh, E-200's!"
"So they suck twice as much as the E-100's?"
"Eggsactly! No, wait, what? These robots will destroy you. Bow down to me and I might not attack you."
"…so the odds on me destroying the most is 1:20? What's up with that?"
"Sonic's gang were in a huddle and were betting on who would destroy the most robots."
"Nobody ignores the Eggman. E-100's…er, 200's, attack!"
"Here they come, gang."
It was the 8 of them against 500. They were outnumbered 62 to 1! It was a hard and grueling battle with many of their numbers falling. It was over in only 5 minutes just as everyone expected. They were completely annihilated. The enemy was, that is. Sonic didn't break a sweat. Sally gave kick after kick, because her legs were very powerful, and the fact that her nail polish was still drying.
Eggman was now hovering above a pile of red scrap metal.
"When I return I will have a band of robots that will annihilate you all! We will meet again."
"Hey Eggman, here's a gift from me to you!"
With that Bean threw a bomb up and into Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic hovercraft. It went off with a satisfying BOOM and left Eggman a charred oval with a mustache.
"Hey Sonic, lets get out of here." Said Amy.
"Yeah, this zone blows. There's no action." Said Fiona.
"Well then, I guess we could move on to stage 2 of my master plan."
"Oh boy, here it comes." Sighed Tails
"We're going to go to the resort land of Westside Island!"
"Beaches!" Said Sally
"Shopping!" Said Fiona
"Ok sonic tell me just how were suppose to get over there. Its over 100 miles out, and don't you dare say 'we can swim'". Said Amy
"Ok, I won't say 'we can swim'".
"Too late."
"Well I do know a fishing boat that will take us there, but we'll have to gut fish on the way there."
"abso-frikkin-lutly not!" Yelled Sally.
"Actually Sonic," said Tails, "I may have a way for us to fly there"
"Can you support all our weight?" Asked Mighty.
"I'm not hanging onto the wing of the tornado." Said Lien-Da
"No, and, what? Actually, I found an old abandoned passenger plane that I've been fixing up. it seats 40"
"Wow, really? Well then, what are we waiting for. Where is this plane?" Asked Sonic.
"Its at my new workshop on the north coast of green hill"
"Well then, lets get going."
They all piled back into the Fiat. On the way they stopped at a pay phone and beeped Lien-Da.
"Hey Bark, if you drive down the drainage canal we can get there by tomorrow morning. It should be dry since we haven't had much rain. My workshop is at the northernmost point of the green hill zone, on the coast."
They drove down into the canal and followed it out of the city. Then it started raining hard. Very hard. Bark turned on his high beams and wipers.
"Hey, what are the odds of a wall of water rushing down the canal." Asked Ray.
"Why do you ask?" Said Sonic.
"Because I hear a rumbling from behind us that's getting louder!"
Suddenly a wave came up from behind and started to push the car down the canal. It started to tumble and roll."
"Aaauughhh!"
"I'mmm gooing toooo beee siiick."
"No, Sally, Noooo!"
"BLERK!"
the car tumbled and rolled as it was pushed along by the water. Everyone tumbled around like they were in a dryer. Everyone, that is, except for bark, who had fastened his seatbelt. He turned on the radio to a soothing jazz, and plugged in some headphones so that he wouldn't have to listen to everyone's screams.
An hour later the car was washed up onto dry land. Everyone (except for bark) was unconscious.
Bark opened his door to let the water drain out of the car, along with a fish or two. He turned on the fiat (which started immediately thanks to the wonderful designers at Capsule Corp) and drove off into the night, thankful for the peace and quiet.
Next time on South Island Shenanigans, we get flying wings of doom, beaches, casinos, and more robots than you can shake a metal finger at.
Obscure pop culture references time. (lets see how many you got.)
Travelers' Tails - A play on the name of the company that developed 'Sonic R' and 'Sonic 3D Blast'.
The Sludge Monster From the Earth's Core - Name of episode 4 of 'A Pup Named Scooby Doo'
A Pony Named Rarity - Rarity is a forth generation My Little Pony
Maibatsu Thunder SUV - A vehicle from grand theft auto III and Vice City. While unobtainable in the game, you can hear plenty of ads for it on the local radio stations (but I wish you could drive it!).
The Sludge Monster From the Earth's Core - Name of episode 4 of 'A Pup Named Scooby Doo'
Yellow Fiat 500 - Lupin III is well known for driving this car, along with a Mercedes SSK
Capsule Corp - The Sonic The hedgehog franchise steals, er, borrows a lot from Dragon Ball. Bulma, Oolong, and Goku are given a Capsule Corp fiat 500 by Yamucha during the first Dragon Ball hunt.
Noodle Stand in the middle of nowhere - Not so much a pop culture reference but more like what I was thinking of when I wrote the noodle stand into the hot springs part. In the first season of Pokemon there is an episode where the 'twerp trio' gets separated from all their pokemon. This is just after the S.S. Anne sinks. It's the only episode where they have subtitles for the pokemon themselves. Anyways while they're lost that night the pokemon all stop to eat at an udon noodle stand in the middle of the woods, and its run by a slowbro. It's memorable in the fact that Pokemon had strict censorship (and still does) but in this scene Meowth is drunk and unconscious. You can tell because his cheeks have that red glow they use in anime's to indicate intoxication and theres a spilled cup of sake next to him. I always found it hilarious that 4kids had missed such a major thing like that (they are known for censoring to the point of losing most of the episodes themselves.)
Well, that was chapter one. I think having a set of goofy stories is good to go along with my set of serious ones is a good idea. However it's not going as good as I hoped, and while I have a few more chapters planned out, S.I.S. won't be updated on a regular basis like I hoped. Anyway, let me know what you think of it, and whether or not you look forward to chapter 2.
End Of Chapter 1