Title: Careers, spouses, babies, and houses.

Author(s): Megan Stack and Caitlin Higgins Copyright June 2003

Disclaimer: The characters you recognize are JK's the ones you don't are original

A/N: Well, this came to Megan while she was at work and then evolved into a group effort. We hope it turned out as well as we planned.

A/N 2: We originally started posting this June 2003 and only posted four chapters because we became lazy and busy and lost a lot of our notes. We've been talking about reposting these and finishing it off (so we hope!). Now we're no longer little fan-girls, we are in fact in college, but this story's special to us, so we're going to ignore the fact that this makes us extremely lame and continue with it. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Honeymoons, Living Rooms, and Red Balloons

It was the next day and McGonagall was in the common room with a few announcements. "This will be a Hogsmeade weekend." After the cheering died down she continued. "Now, you are to go to Hogsmeade strictly for this project." A few groans could be heard. "You are to go to the travel agency and plan your honeymoons." The cheers erupted once more. "However, there are to be no honeymoon activities." And again, there were some complaints from the students. "After you plan your honeymoons you need to go shopping for kitchen and living room furnishings. You will be given a budget and a form for both to be filled out accordingly. Be back at the castle by 4:30. The carriages will leave in 15 minutes. That is all."

Once McGonagall left, James turned to Sirius and said, "How was your detention last night?"

Sirius started, "Well after I left the common room…"

When he was finished, James shook his head and said, "Well, Padfoot, I do believe you like my sister."

After Sirius was done looking like a fish he responded, "What?"

"You heard me. You like Sam."

"I do not like your sister! How could you even say that! I mean it's not like I pay attention to her at all. Like, I never even noticed how she always has that one piece of hair in her face and how it annoys her when it falls right back. Nor have I noticed how her eyes twinkle when she smiles…and stop looking at me because I did not just say that!" He paused, suddenly aware of what he just said. "Oh shit. I like your sister." He looked and sounded defeated.

"I told you man," James shook his head. "You've got it bad. You called Malfoy a cock-knocker! Come on," he continued, "Let's get Lily and Sam so we can go to Hogsmeade."

"Um, where are they?"

James turned to Alice Prewett who was sitting with her spouse, Frank Longbottom. "Do you know where Lily and Sam are?"

"I think they're up in the girl's dorm." From the look on James' face she added, "It's okay to go up…they're decent. Or, at least, they should be."

James nodded, and with Sirius right behind him, ascended the girls' staircase. After some searching they found the seventh years' door and knocked.

Some giggling followed. "Come in."

James turned to Sirius. "Doesn't sound like they hate each other. I thought they'd be ripping each other's hair out if they were left alone."

Sirius shrugged. "A tickle-fight?"

They both smiled and James opened the door to reveal their 'wives' lying on their stomachs on Lily's bed each with a copy of 'Witch Weekly.'

"Damn, no tickle-fights," Sirius mumbled earning a slight chuckle from James as he said, "Hey guys, we're going to Hogsmeade to research for our projects. The carriages are here."

"Oh, joy," Sam exclaimed sarcastically, "more quality time with my wonderful husband."

"Damn right I'm wonderful!"

"Shut up you twit."

"Ooh, feisty aren't we?" Sirius said with a playful grin. This comment earned him another smack on the arm. "Ow! That was uncalled for!"

"You deserved it, you ass!"

"Come on, let's go or we'll miss the carriages," Lily said gesturing for them to follow. She smiled at James and said, "Oh, they're lovely together, aren't they?"

"Oh yeah. Those are just Sam and Sirius' terms of endearment."

IIIIIII In the carriage IIIIIII

"Ugh, do I have to sit next to him?" Sam had been complaining all the way down.

"Yes," James replied. "And you'll like it, Samantha Evelyn Potter!"

"No I won't, James Harold Potter! Your best friend is a jerk!"

"Yes, but I'm a handsome jerk!" The rest of the carriage just rolled their eyes. And this continued all the way to Hogsmeade.

IIIIIII Travel Agency IIIIII

"Mr. and Mrs. Potter?" It was their turn to sit down and discuss their honeymoon plans with a travel agent.

Sam and Sirius came out each looking like they had been forced to eat live rats.

"Was it really that bad?" James whispered his comment to Sirius as he and Lily walked towards the office.

Sirius nodded grimly as Sam grabbed his arm hard and tried to drag him out of Magical Getaways Travel Agency. He yelled back over his shoulder, "But hey! At least we get to go to Paris!" And with that, his wife lovingly yanked him out the door.

Lily and James made their way to the back, entered the agents' office and sat down.

"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Potter. I am John Albright and I will be assisting you in planning your honeymoon. May I see your forms?" James handed him the papers with his salary and their budget. "Now, where would you two like to go?"

Lily piped up. "A tropical island, with lots to see and do." She shot James a look. "Needless to say, I don't want to stay inside all day on my honeymoon."

"Hey," James exclaimed as John chuckled. "I may want to stay inside!"

"Well, Mrs. Potter, with this salary, I think I can grant your wish." He entered something on his Travel Whiz 2000. "For your honeymoon, you will be going to Hawaii." Lily shrieked and he continued. "And for you, Mr. Potter, you will be staying at an all inclusive, four-star hotel. Here is a list of activities. You need to take this and your form and create an itinerary. Here are the cost papers and the list of possible airlines."

"I'm riding first-class for my honeymoon."

"Lily! I can't afford a first-class bus-flight!"

Mr. Albright winked. "Of course you can, Mr. Potter. They've just been discounted."

IIIIIII High Street, Hogsmeade IIIIIIII

"You know, I bet he discounted because he liked you."

"Ew, James, he's way too old and I think he felt sorry for you."

"Well, whatever the reason, we got a discount. Now, Mrs. Potter," James offered her his arm, "I do believe we need to go shopping for our fabulous kitchen."

Lily took the proffered arm and said with a smile, "Okay, Mr. Potter. But if you ever call me Mrs. Potter again I'll rip out your esophagus and beat you with the tonsil end."

"Fair enough."

They walked on and encountered many other couples doing their shopping. Remus and Gwendolyn were getting along quite nicely and their form was almost completed. They waved to Lily and James.

"Say," Remus yelled, "We'll meet you and The Blacks at the Three Broomsticks in an hour!"

"Better not yell that too loud, Sam'll be after your blood with Sirius not too far behind," James called out his warning and Remus and Gwen laughed before continuing to walk.

James and Lily continued on down High Street and soon entered Kitchen Witch to "buy" their kitchen supplies. They had purchased a blender, mixer, pots, pans, and dinnerware when they heard a commotion from the silverware and pots section.

Being two curious people they ventured over and surprisingly, found Sirius backed into a corner and Sam looking furious with a frying pan. "Now, Sam, sweetheart, you can get the blue dishes. I'm stupid; of course alien dishes won't look nice in our blue and yellow kitchen." He said this sounding quite panicked.

"Damn right they won't look nice… What did you call me?" She advanced another step looking even more dangerous.

"Um, I called you…a bitch?"

"That's more like it."

"Um, now, could you please put the cleaver and the pan down?"

"No, I could use them to bash your head in if you call me sweetheart one more time."

"I won't call you sweetheart ever again, honey."

Sam didn't retort. No, she was feeling rather calm. Swinging a frying pan at your husband's head is great therapy. Fortunately, for Sirius, she only managed to break a few dishes. Unfortunately for Sam, McGonagall walked into Kitchen Witch.

"Dear Merlin help me. Miss Potter! What on earth are you doing?"

Sam hid the pan behind her back. "Well, Prof, if you expect me to be married to Sirius we need durable plates, don't you agree? I was testing these alien ones here and they failed! Look at this! They wouldn't last a day in my kitchen! But these blue ones… they're good." She nodded trying to emphasize her point.

Just then Mr. Jackson, the manager walked over. "My dishes! My alien dishes! Oh poor, poor dishes!"

With a wave of her wand McGonagall fixed the plates. "As for durable dishes, Samantha, you ARE a witch. And, I expect you'll know durability once you clean the dinner plates for detention this week."

"Well, Lily, we'll know not to get a frying pan or meat cleaver as the shower gifts…"

"Doesn't look like we'll have to worry about shower gifts at the rate those two are going." Lily picked up a set of utensils. "How do you like these?"

"Eh, they're nice but I like those better. I dunno, I think Padfoot's falling for her…"

"Oh, yeah, I do like these better. These it is! Oh really? He sure doesn't seem like he is."

"Good choice. Oh, I know he is. You don't know him like I do."

Lily raised an eyebrow. It was doubtless that anyone could ever know Sirius as James did.

"And he told me."

Lily chuckled. "I'd have never believed it."

"Well, it's true." He watched Sam drag Sirius out by his ear." Are we done here?"

"Yes, let's head over to Sofa-isticated."

They purchased their living room furniture without too many incidents and then headed over to the Three Broomsticks to meet the rest of the group.

IIIIIIII At the Three Broomsticks IIIIIII

They walked in and immediately spotted their friends in the back corner, they had already ordered and a butterbeer was set out for both James and Lily. Those at the table were engaged in various conversations.

Sam and Remus were carrying on an animated conversation about which was better, the Falmouth Falcons or the Ballycastle Bats. Sam was using her hands to emphasize that the Falmouth Falcons were definitely going to beat the Ballycastle Bats in the match in two weeks. "They have a better seeker. True that the Bats have way better chasers but Briggs is the best in the league!"

"But the Falcons' beaters are on leave and their back-ups suck!"

"Oh dear not this argument again." James sat down in between Remus and Sirius. "Sirius, don't you agree that the Arrows are clearly the best in the league?" Sirius was staring sullenly into his mug. "Ah, shopping didn't go well?"

"Your sister is a loony! She almost knocked my head with a frying pan!"

"Yes, I saw that. But really, Padfoot, those alien dishes were quite terrible."

"I thought they were cute!"

"Um, sure. Say, did you get the new 'Quidditch Weekly'?"

Lily sat down with Gwendolyn and began discussing the new musical group, The Toadstools.

"No, the lead singer is definitely cuter."

"No, deffo the drummer! Come on, Lily! He's just amazing!"

The conversations continued until it was time to head back to the castle and everyone begrudgingly left their mugs behind and walked to where the carriages were waiting.

Remus and Gwendolyn had managed to squeeze into the carriage with Sam, Sirius, Lily, and James.

"I will be designing allll your clothes!" Sam was bent that her job of being a fashion designer was eventually going to come true.

Gwendolyn made a remark without even looking up, "Now that's a scary thought."

"Oh, yeah, and what are yooou gonna be?"

"A pet shop owner."

"But you'll scare the wabbits!"

"And I'll be an Auror," Sirius announced this quite loudly.

"Yeah, well I'm not carting your ass around."

"Aw, Remie's a chauffeur."

"Yeah, and Snape is going to be your fellow Auror."

"No!"

"Yes!"

Lily looked up from her position on James' lap- as there was no room- annoyed. "Would you stop talking about how you all got jobs?"

"Don't worry Lils, you can hang out with Malfoy- he got unemployed."

"Ew, no way I'm hanging out with that scuzzy git."

"Well, I suppose it's better than the jobs your boyfriend and his wife got."

"Ooh, what did that twit get?"

"Door-to-door saleswoman while her hubby is a floo cleaner."

Sam looked up, "What'll you be, Jamsie?"

"Sam, stop calling me Jamsie!" Pulling a face he said, "I'll be in the Accidental Magical Reversal Squad. Load of bullocks."

"Oh, such a shame! You poor thing!"

"Sam, I said SHUT UP!"

Sam just smiled winningly at him.

Remus piped up, "Hey, did anyone hear the job Pete got?"

"No, what?"

Remus chuckled. "He's a popstar."

The group burst into laughter. "You have got to be kidding me, Moony."

"Nope. And Rosy's a tour guide."

"Guess who's gonna be our new Minister of Magic?"

"Diggory!"

"Nope, Quidditch player."

"Skeeter!"

"Secretary."

"It's that idiot Fudge."

IIIIIII Common Room- a few days later IIIIIII

"So what're you getting Lily for her birthday?" Sam asked her brother.

"Just you wait."

"Ooh! The suspense is killing me!" she countered sarcastically.

The Gryffindors had been planning a party for days. The problem was getting Lily to leave long enough for them to decorate. They left it to Sam to come up with the brilliant idea, though that may not have been a good choice.

"Hey Lils, there's a frog in this classroom and I can't get rid of it. Will you come help me?" Remus eyed Sam from behind Lily as if to say 'What the hell are you doing?'

Lily looked confused, "Um…okay, I guess."

"Cool beans!" Sam exclaimed and frolicked out the door with Lily following behind.

When the portrait hole swung closed, Remus shook his head. "A frog in a classroom?"

"Only Sam could convince someone to help her get a frog out of a classroom without any questions." James stated with a grin. He conjured a box of decorations. "Let's get started, Moony. God only knows how long it'll take to banish the frog."

"Sam! There is NO frog in here! I still don't understand why you need me to help get rid of a frog… it probably hopped away, anyways. I'm leaving."

"NO!" Lily looked quite surprised by this outburst and turned to look at Sam as she floundered helplessly for words. "Um…I mean…we have to find it…um…he's my friend! Yeah, my frog friend named…um…Jeremy!"

"Okay, okay." Lily agreed but still looked at Sam as though she was touched in the head.

"Thank you, thank you," Sam said cheerily as they continued their search for the frog.

James stood on Sirius' shoulders trying to hang up some streamers without falling. So far they had managed quite nicely. Remus was blowing up red balloons with his wand. All of a sudden shouts could be heard from the other side of the portrait hole which caused James to fall from Sirius' shoulders with an, "Oh, crap!"

"DAMN, I WISH WE FOUND MY FRIEND, JEREMY, THE FROG THAT WAS IN THE CLASSROOM! I THINK WE SHOULD GO BACK AND LOOK SOME MORE!!"

"You prat, I am not looking for that frog any longer. And stop screaming! You're gonna make me go deaf!

Remus threw the remaining decorations behind a chair as everyone else scrambled to hide.

"LILY! We should stop and chat with the fat lady a while…we don't do that often!"

"I'll give her the password and that's it! Gobbleschmobs."

"Party pooper!"

"Oh, shut up!"

"But really…" Sam was cut off when the portrait swung open and Lily was greeted with a deafening, "SURPRISE!!!"

Lily looked slightly taken aback. She turned to Sam with a smile and said, "A frog? Is that the best you could do?"

Sam shrugged. "It worked didn't it?"

"Well, I suppose…"

Remus interrupted. "Are you gonna join the party or not? You ARE the guest of honor."

"Oh, yes, there is a surprise party going on, isn't there?"

They sat Lily down and sang a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday" in which Sirius added his own creative, and no doubt, crude lyrics.

Lily was about to cut into the rather lovely cake and distribute pieces to her fellow Gryffindors, when Sirius yelled, "Why do we have to cut it? Let's just dig in!"

Somehow, a glob of cake managed to find its way to Sam's face and before long there was an all-out war that eventually included dung-bombs, red water balloons, and various food products.

Eventually, it was time to open presents. Lily sat perched on an overstuffed armchair unable to hide her excitement at the prospective gifts.

After opening a few presents she came to Sam's. Lily smiled at her, excited to see what it was. She tore off the wrapping paper with a hurry.

"Um. A spatula? Thank you?"

"Well, I thought it was a nice red color… and, well, I didn't know what to get you so I bought it at Kitchen Witch before we got kicked out because of the plate thing."

"It's a very nice thought, thank you, Sam. I can use it at home to cook… stuff."

Sam smiled proudly as Remus rolled his eyes.

"My turn!!" Sirius yelled as he plopped his present down on her lap. She took the present out of the bag and found, beneath the folds of tissue paper, a meat cleaver.

"Oh, well. You two expect me to do some cooking, then?"

"No, well I just thought it was cool. Well, before Sam tried to bash my head in with it a few times. You can hit stuff with it. Just don't hit me."

"Yeah, thanks for the advice, and I'll try not to use it on you."

Eamon had given her an autographed photo of himself telling her that way she could always be reminded of how good looking he is. "Yes, how…sweet."

He stood up, "Well, I'd love to stay and chat and all, but you know, it's time for my daily workout. See ya, Lils." He bent down for a kiss.

"Um, yeah. Are you sure you won't stay? It is my birthday. Only comes but once a year and all that!"

"Hon, you know I gotta work out. I told you."

"Yeah. Right. See you then." And he kissed her on the cheek and left the room. Lily looked a bit disappointed but quickly put a smile on for the rest of the group.

The next gift was from James. It looked quite small and she was skeptical of what it might contain. She took off the bow and the paper, and opened the small box. Inside was a necklace with a delicate diamond lily pendant. She started at it, openmouthed for a few moments, hardly believing her eyes. She looked up at him and broke into a genuine smile. "Thank you, James. I hardly know what to say! It's beautiful."

"Well, I just thought you might like it."

She smiled and he reached around and fastened the clasp on her necklace. "There."

"It's perfect."

Remus gave her a book she had wanted on special Charms and Peter gave her a hair pin he had found in Hogsmede. She received some other very thoughtful gifts. They didn't retire to bed until rather late, Lily smiling the whole while as she mindlessly toyed with her new necklace.

All in all, Lily Evans definitely had a most memorable 17th birthday party.

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