Warnings: Contains many references to Hinduism and Buddhism (not in a convert-y way – I'm an atheist – but in a "this religion works well for this story" way), slash, Twilight (scary stuff there), crude language, shorter chapters than my norm, eventual character death
Disclaimers: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and associates of whom I am not one. Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer and associates of whom I am (thankfully) not one. No views, religious or otherwise, are meant to reflect the views of the author (well... except the ones that make fun of Twilight, but those are well deserved!).
3: Right Speech
"Y'know," Harry sighed one afternoon, "you promised to stop stalking me. This is rather the opposite."
It was mid-October, and Harry and Edward "happened" to meet each other at whatever generic film rental place was in Forks. Harry hadn't really been paying attention to the name of the shop that Ron had dragged him into; the redheaded teen had quickly become obsessed with watching films after Arthur insisted Harry teach them to use the "Vetelision" and "Bee Seer" because, really, why wouldn't he want to know what muggles found so fascinating about Bees? Harry had made the mistake of mentioning DVDs, prompting Mr Weasley into buying a player for one of those, too, and they broke in the machine with some film about aliens attacking the earth.
Mr Weasley had been shocked that muggles had mastered the art of moving photographs, and that the photographs could talk, and then even more so that there were creatures living outside of earth and destroying cities and the Ministry didn't know about it. Harry tried explaining to the man that films were just a lot of pictures taken very quickly and sound was recorded separate and they were edited using computers, but the man would have none of it. Thankfully, he was the only Weasley to disbelieve him.
As soon as the first explosion occurred, Ron and the Twins were hooked, and Harry was made Ron's rental-buddy. Mr Weasley refused to watch any more films with them, unless they were cartoon films or fantasy, but funded their rental card nonetheless. So far, they had visited one shop or another, whether in Forks, La Push, or Port Angeles, at least once every other day. Every other time they went for films in Forks (and once in Port Angeles, but NEVER in La Push), Edward "happened" to arrive at about the same time.
"Isn't it enough that we have one class together?" Harry grumbled to the vampire under his breath, knowing he would be heard perfectly. He always double checked his occlumancy shields when he noticed Edward was nearby, silently thanking Dumbledore for forcing the lessons on him. Not only had he been saved some nightmares towards the end of the previous school year, but it had probably saved some lives.
"I am only attempting to get your attention," Edward seemed awkward, standing beside Harry, browsing through animated Japanese films. His own "brother", the big one that made Harry think of bears, was browsing the action section, his eyes riveted on a shelf that Harry knew contained films involving fast cars and, of course, explosions. Ron was only two shelves down, completely oblivious to the sangualis vampire standing mere feet from him.
Harry sent an annoyed look to the vampire at his side and then quickly turned his gaze on the films again. Fred and George wanted some of the "anime" films, after watching something called Dragon Ball one day while their younger siblings and Harry had been at school. Harry really didn't want to know what was so riveting about a show about a dragon's genitals. From the choking sound Edward made at that moment, he didn't either. The young wizard smirked, but only a little, because he wasn't a prick like Malfoy.
"There are better ways to get my attention that stalking," he pointed out, making sure to take a jab at the vampire's tendencies. "What do you want my attention for, anyway? You said yourself that you aren't Cedric. Therefore we have nothing in common, unless you just want to be friends with the Boy-Who-Lived."
"Not in the least!" Edward actually sounded offended at the insinuation, which surprised Harry a little. "Although it is true that I am not Cedric Diggory, there is no denying that his past is mine. His experiences have helped to shape me just as my own have. It stands to reason that I would want to search for a link to that past, proof that it was no illusion, what happened to me."
There was no avoiding the twinge of annoyance. "So I'm a connection to a past that isn't really yours, just... I don't even know."
"Again you misunderstand," Edward's tone drew Harry's gaze, and the wizard wondered momentarily how the vampire could look so... human just then. "That it stands to reason does not make it the only reason. My family is, as you call us, 'Sangualis', and as such we may blend into human society, but we may not live in one place for more than a few years at a time. We cannot grow close to any humans for fear that they will catch on and discover what we really are. We cannot live near magical settlements either, because of the prejudice all those of 'creature' status are subjected to. You are human, for all you sometimes think you aren't –" Harry winced then, but he appreciated Edward ignoring that, "and being able to make any connection to someone other than those in my family without fear of your reaction to our nature, having already experienced that..."
It was logical, and... well, Harry didn't really mind Edward. Still.
"S'not the best way to go about making friends though," Harry stated after a moment. "If you really want to be friends... Oi! Ron! Is it okay if Edward and his brother join us at the cinema?" He called this across the shop, causing the clerk to look up and the employee who was stocking shelves in the children's section to drop a stack of dvds.
Ron, being Ron, just called back an affirmative while Edward's brother Emmett sent a strange look their way. Edward sent a very similar look just to Harry.
"I know you haven't made friends outside your family in a while, aside from your friendly acquaintances at school, and that's probably all of Cedric that you managed to catch on to," Harry continued on as if the shouted exchange had never occurred. "And, to be fair, I haven't really gone out on a limb to be social in a while either, but generally blokes go out to watch a film or a sporting event or something to bond. I think. Not entirely sure, really, but it can at least be a building block for us trying to be friends. At the very least I'm better off being on good terms with a family of vampires than having you lot after my blood."
"You... have an interesting way with words," Edward informed the Boy-Who-Lived. "And yet you are entirely correct. I have not 'made friends' with anyone in such a manner before." Harry wondered if Edward had made any human friends at all since his turning, and Cedric had had such social ease that something like going to a film, even if he had been a muggle, wouldn't have been his style.
Of course, Harry had never made friends that way either. His friendships all just sort of... happened. He had decided to grab three films for the twins and picked up the empty cases quickly. "You can go talk to your brother; we're leaving in five minutes." Harry swiftly beat feet to go speak to Ron. It wasn't a private conversation, so he didn't care that Emmett was still mere feet away, or that Edward was moving in the same direction.
"Hey mate, should I pick up the cartoon film or the dragon one for dad?" He lifted two options – one featuring a cartoon elephant with the ridiculous name of "Dumbo", while the other showed a rather good cgi dragon and boasted very good special effects – but it was obvious which one Mr Weasley would enjoy more.
"The elephant, I think," Harry rolled his eyes and plucked the case from Ron's hands. "The dragon film would hardly have anything he hasn't seen before, and he liked the other films from Disney. Ready to go?"
"Yeah," Ron grabbed two films from under his armpit with his newly freed hand, obviously his personal selections, though Harry questioned why one of the titles included the word "pink". If his friend tried to beg a liking for chick flicks off as doing Ginny a favor, he'd eat his own foot; they had brought her a romantic comedy once, and the results had not been pretty. "So, we're taking vampires to a film?"
"Cullen said he wants to make friends," or that was the gist of it, but Harry didn't feel the need to go into detail. "I'm pretty sure watching films is a muggle bonding ritual or something. I mean, Dudley rarely went to the cinema, so it has to be a good idea, right?"
The snort of laughter Harry heard came not from Ron as expected – he outright laughed – but from Edward, who was still one rack behind them to speak with his brother. Most of the vampires Harry had met – very few, and all at the start of summer to be entirely fair – had kept their emotions entirely bottled up. It was rather surprising to hear one laugh, even though Harry knew that Edward, as a vampire with a soul, was special and did not have that same distance from humanity that most others possessed. Not that it was something exclusive to Edward, as Harry had heard second hand that Emmett was known to be almost as human as Edward at times (though not in those terms; Mike Newton, after all, wouldn't know to use a comparison of humanity).
Dismissing the instance, Harry and Ron completed their dealings at the rental shop before heading outside to the small parking lot of the strip mall; the shop next door was for dry cleaning, while the other side had a sushi shop, a convenience store, and the main fixture of the strip, a moderately sized hardware store.
Edward and Emmett were already standing beside a silver car that still glistened with the rain from that morning. It looked at least moderately fast, and more expensive than any of Vernon's company cars from Grunnings, as well as entirely too small for people as tall as those Harry would be accompanying. True, Edward looked to be barely beyond six feet, still rather tall but not unusually so, but Ron was a lanky six foot seven, and Emmett looked to stand nearly even with him, though the inch or so of difference was made up with pure muscle.
Honestly, for an average-sized bloke like Harry, it was enough to feel inferior. But only if one forgot his triumph over the Dark Lord Voldemort and current ranking as #1 Most Eligible Bachelor of the Magical World and speculated as being in the Top 10 Most Powerful Wizards Born In The 20th Century, though he refused to let the Ministry measure his magic.
There was, unfortunately, nothing short of obliviation that would manage that for Harry any time soon.
"Are you sure we'll all fit in that?" Harry eyed the car and kept glancing at the taller boys. "I don't reckon you use expansion charms like what Mr Weasley's got…"
"We take this car to school every day and it fits all of our family fine each time," Emmett shrugged. "Oh, and shotgun!" He was already opening the door to the aforementioned seat while Harry and Ron traded confused looks. Apparently Edward caught their shared befuddlement.
"People call shotgun to say they will ride in the front passenger seat," was the simple explanation he gave the wizards. With the Dursleys, Petunia always had that seat, and with the Weasleys it was always Mrs Weasley or Ginny, so the idea of squabbling over who had the seat beside the driver was a concept lost on them both.
Then again, unless it was a day where Mr Weasley was driving them to school, Harry and Ron usually walked everywhere in town. Maybe the twins argued about it sometimes.
Harry and Ron piled in, deciding their arrangements based on leg room to have Harry behind Emmett and Ron behind Edward. The arrangement of having the driver on the left was still off to them – scavenging the Anglia from the forest left the Weasleys with a car of English standard after all – but neither boy relied too heavily on grabbing tight to things when in motor vehicles anymore.
"What movie are we going to?" Edward asked as he put his car into drive.
"It's called Shark Tale; I saw an advertisement for it on the telly last week, and it's just come out," (1) Ron pitched excitedly. "Ginny says movies like that are pitched for kids, but we picked up something called Aladdin for Dad a couple weeks ago and that was supposed to be for kids too, but there were so many bawdy jokes Mum made us turn it off. I think that films for 'kids' have a lot of things like that, I swear I've heard some things in them that Mum would cast a cleaning spell on my mouth if I ever repeated them!" His grin split from ear to ear as he said the last bit.
Emmett laughed and began divulging children's films with such moments, dirty jokes and scenes that could be taken so many wrong ways that Harry wasn't sure he liked the idea of a kids' film market with those things.
Then again, if kids didn't notice these things until they rewatched them a decade later, what did it matter to him? The only time he'd ever seen a film as a child it was some horror film Dudley had bullied Vernon into letting him watch, and Harry only saw snippets between cleaning the hall near the living room and, later, washing up Dudley's vomit from I front of the telly.
Who was he to judge what parents subject their children to?
As Emmett and Ron talked about films – and Harry couldn't help but wonder if Edward's statement about wanting to be able to talk to someone outside the coven who knew what he was didn't extend to other members of the family as well – Edward drove the circuitous route to the cinema. Harry clung to his seat, certain they were doubling the speed limit, all the way.
Well at least Ron made a friend.
Edward had not been able to believe that Harry would willingly invite him to spend time, but after the film could somewhat understand. Ron lacked theater tact and was constantly laughing and making comments during the entire film, something Edward found deplorable but seemed to amuse Emmett if his snickers and thoughts were anything to go by.
When they exited the theater, Alice and Jasper were waiting out front with Emmett's Jeep. Though Jasper was looking a little nauseous around all the humans heading back to cars after the film – especially the children who were yapping happily away or screaming for candy – his girlfriend was smiling, though uncertainly. They approached the Jeep, though Edward sent a glance to his car, wondering what inspired them to come along.
"I saw that you would want your car," Alice explained as soon as they approached. "Ronald needs to head home, and Emmett is going to be running late for his date with Rosalie tonight if he goes home first." The tallest vampire swore under his breath and Edward scanned his thoughts to find that this was true; luckily it was a date in Port Angeles, which was conveniently in the same direction as the Weasley residence.
"I suppose this is good-bye for today then?" Harry looked up at Edward, brow arched.
"Actually, you have a test in Trigonometry on Monday," intercepted Alice again. And this was true, they did. "Harry's going to fail it unless you can explain sine waves to him better than the textbook." Edward could even see the vision Alice had of Harry being passed back his test at the end of the week with a big shiny red F in bold at the top, and the entire first page, which was basic conceptual sine and cosine problems, heavily marked.
It was good to know some of the problems though, since Alice was obviously setting Edward up to tutor Harry. Outside of the occasional tip in class he hadn't managed to help much, and help was certainly something Harry needed; apparently wizards didn't need any math beyond what 4th grade children knew unless they took the Arithmancy courses.
Cedric hadn't taken it, and even if he had, Edward wouldn't have known it. Class material was not information of the soul like what Edward had learned of him.
Edward turned to Harry and quirked an eyebrow.
"I take it you're a seer then," Harry sighed, looking rather put out. "Not that muggle grades really matter much, but I suppose it would serve its purpose. Would you mind then Edward?"
"Well now you've got that worked out, I need to go," Emmett strode forward and snatched his keys from Jasper's outstretched hand and beckoned Ron to join him. The redhead barely even looked back; his thoughts showed rather clearly that he trusted Harry too much to consider them dangerous. Both because if Harry was going to trust a vampire coven then Ron would trust that opinion, and because he felt that if they tried something Harry could probably escape at least alive if not unscathed.
The Jeep revved to life and tore out of the small parking lot, trailing a startled scream from one ginger wizard.
Harry was given shot gun in Edward's shiny car this time, so that Alice and Jasper could sit together in the back. It was a silent journey, aside from Alice instructing Edward to just go straight home, since Harry wouldn't need anything for studying that Edward could not provide. The one time he looked at his brother and sister in the back, they were cuddled up close, having not bothered to buckle up, and Alice had a rather tragically affected look across her features as Jasper held her. Her mind was a jumble of distractions, and all he could get from Jasper was the bittersweet emotions he was pulling from Alice.
Unsure what it meant, he didn't dare to ask, and continued driving home, perhaps a little slower than normal when he noticed Harry had grabbed on to the seat. How strange, given he knew of Harry's preference for fast dives in Quidditch, with the broom going faster than Edward's car, but he struck it as something that he could ask later if conversation became thin.
The car rolled into the driveway of the Cullen home and Edward took care in parking it in the garage; there was a chance of hail and he didn't want it to get dinged.
Harry was neither over nor underwhelmed by the home, so Edward didn't waste much time on a tour. Having gone to school in a castle, perhaps that made sense; he had lived somewhere far grander, but had also been to homes that could fit in this one a few times over no doubt. Carlisle had a late shift that day, and wouldn't be home until well after dark, and Esme made her presence minimal, asking what Harry would like to eat before driving away to buy food - likely entirely too much, but it was her decision. Whatever Harry didn't eat would go to animals in the forest or something.
Eventually, they settled in Edward's room; he asked if Harry would want to listen to any music while they worked, but Harry had just shrugged, informing him that he didn't really know anything about muggle music. The vampire felt a little silly for asking; even as a muggle raised wizard, it made sense that Harry wouldn't know much about music. Children tended to be okay with listening to what their parents liked or what was on the Top 40 radio stations (because children understood that something popular must be good, rather than forming a true opinion), and he would have had very little exposure to anything beyond what was on the Wizarding Wireless Network at Hogwarts.
Having listened to it once since the rejoining of his soul to his body, Edward could safely say that muggle music was the superior. There was no life to magical music.
They settled, and Edward gave Harry a couple of sample problems from the text book to do so he would know precisely where the problems lay. Watching the pencil flit about uncertainly over lined paper - two things that the wizard was bound to be unfamiliar with after so many years outside of muggle education - Edward could only feel his curiosity grow.
"If you do not mind my saying so, Harry, you are... different from how I remembered you," Edward hedged. "Cedric competed in the Triwizard Tournament against a boy with an iron will and a lot of luck. You seem..." He stopped as Harry's eyes nailed him.
That iron will was still there, but there was something else behind Harry's occlumancy walls that Edward could not glimpse. All he got was a repeated message in Harry's head of "do not ask".
"You aren't exactly Cedric, either," Harry replied, his voice more even than the insistent voice in his head. "Just because you inherited his soul - your soul - and some of his traits doesn't mean you're him." His pencil had stopped as soon as Edward spoke, and did not resume.
"The soul was mine first, and came to me after," frowned the vampire. Harry's surface thoughts were turning a little spiteful, running through loops that would have made Edward's stomach turn had he eaten. "I hardly find it fair you should be angry at me for it. For decades I was a vampire, soulless as any other; even sans soul I was a good person, mostly. But I wasn't human. Is that what you don't like, that I'm not human? I have all these thoughts and memories flitting about in my head now that I would never have thought two years ago, experiences my body never had but my mind is telling me are integral to the personality I now possess. To be so human now but still so inhuman, to still crave blood when I can remember homecooked meals...
"Vampires have terrible memories before their transformation. I can't remember what the Masens - my parents - looked like anymore. By the time I was out of my newborn state, I couldn't remember them hardly at all, I just had Carlisle. But now I can remember Cedric's parents, cheering him on at quidditch, or congratulating him for good grades, or just smiling at them because they could. That is part of my identity now. You can hardly blame me for it. And wanting to find connections to that life is hardly my fault either. I remember these things, and here you are, evidence that I am not mad.
"Unless, of course, the memory of my soul being blasted out of Cedric's body was false, and all the pain I experienced with the integration was, in fact, a hallucination. Then please, do feel free to criticize me. Though since all I remember is the green light and pain, maybe it is. I don't even know how I ended up with a soul again, or why he died or what happened, I just know that it did and I am here."
If any of it were a hallucination, Edward would eat his own foot, into eternity if need be.
"Of course it was real, I saw it happen! Cedric and I got to the cup at the same time, and we took it; it portkeyed us to that thrice blasted grave yard and suddenly Voldemort was telling Wormtail to 'kill the spare' and you were- I mean, he was dead!" Harry snapped the last part. "It's ridiculous that you would look so close to exactly like him, but here we are! You- Cedric was killed right in front of me, and then I was used to bring Voldemort back to life, and when I escaped I brought your body back to your parents. They were so sad... and after that everything happened so quickly!
"So yes, I changed, and it all started when Cedric died, alright? It was his body that ended up being the proof that got the Daily Prophet to announce Voldemort was back. The Ministry tried to cover it up but Rita Skeeter decided for once in her life to cover important bloody news rather than stalk teenagers and at the autopsy they proved it was the killing curse, and since my wand never cast it they knew it had to be someone else so they finally used my memory... and by the time I turned 15 everyone knew, and suddenly I was this savior. And I had to be trained to kill Voldemort once and for all. Do you have any idea what that sort of pressure can do to you? I was still mourning Cedric when they threw me in front of Death Eaters attacking a village and I had to either fight or die!
"It's hardly been six months since I killed Voldemort, and in the end none of that training helped, because it came down to the same thing that happened in that graveyard when we were fighting over your body, and that shade came out again and said to leave Britain. So here I am in bloody Forks, tired and overtrained and the shade of the person whose bloody soul you've got told me to come here and now you're questioning me when all I want to do is relax for a bit! And I still don't understand any of this bloody maths!"
The Boy-Who-Lived deflated while Edward stared on wide-eyed. He hadn't heard much news from the wizarding world since shortly after Cedric's death, and little of that had to do with Britain; certainly he had heard the Dark Lord was back.
They stared each other in the eyes for a time before Edward voiced the tiny thought in Harry's head. "Thank you."
It was good to know why he had a soul again. And, in Harry's case, though the boy never did voice the thought, he gave small mental thanks for allowing him to blow up like that. In the months of training there had been no time, and in the time after he was always surrounded by friends and loved ones who would take offense to his explosions.
Edward was not close enough as a person that, if he did take offense, it would not effect Harry so deeply. Even with the several moments of confusion in his diatribe, Edward knew that he held Edward Cullen and Cedric Diggory are entirely different people, and Edward's resemblance to the fallen teen would not hold sway over the wizard.
After Edward dropped Harry off at the Weasley home, he knew it was a talk they both had needed.
Author's Note: …So, sorry I bollocksed things up and didn't post until now. Can I just say that the last year and a half has been fairly busy (work, school, vacation, social life, moving, pets, and I'm on my second boyfriend for that period of time (we've been together 9 months and looking good)) and not bother with further excuses?
I do want to finish this story. And I will. But I can't devote much time. This chapter sat idle between the end of June '10 to the end of November '11. So… yeah. Hopefully I'll finish it soon. But no promises. In that time I did try to work on it a few times and never got more than a sentence down, usually less. Hopefully getting more than half written in one night is a sign that I'll be able to knuckle down again. The closest I ever got to actually working on it was right before my current boyfriend and I got together, and now I'm just taking initiative.
Oh, and if you think I'm arrogant to think people will still read this after an accidental long hiatus... blame the story stats page. I still get more reads than I have any right to, even so long after my last post.
Shark Tale came out October 1, 2004. I can completely imagine a movie-holic Ron dragging Harry to see it.