I'm adding Vocaloids into the mix more in the next two chapters too, got it memorized? I almost forgot my teaser!*throws it in your face*

My hand covers my mouth and cuts off a gasp. Squall's leaving? No! First Riku then Leon… Even if he was just a distraction to get over Riku… Ah, Riku. I have to leave before I start crying…

Warnings:A lot of swearing, some incest, suicialness, possibly rape, horrible poetry, Yaoi/Yuri, could go anywhere. Smut type scene(s) VERY far in the future, because Roxas needs to turn less emo and get over the past before he'll let Axel fuck him. XD

Nothing ish mine here. Remember that.

I'm half way back to the cafeteria before I remember the paper in my pocket. I duck into a bathroom and slide down against a wall. I unfold it carefully, hoping for… I don't even know what, just more than a blank piece of paper. It reads:

Goodbye Axel. Please don't bother me tomorrow.

This is so sad. He doesn't want to see me tomorrow. I've barely known the kid three hours and I feel this weird connection. Almost like I've met him before. And somehow I know he can be happier.

When I re-read the note, my eyes are drawn to the second half. The handwriting looks rushed yet very neat. The first part, on the writing is sharp and controlled. Then it dawns on me. Someone added the second part. I'd bet on my hair that it was Aqua. Seriously, what died up her ass? Not that I care… I'll just talk to Xion in the morning and ask her to talk to Aqua.

Aqua actually reminds me of this one jealous bitch, Ollette. She got all protective of her boyfriend, pence, just because I came out and actually glanced at him once. Girls are just an annoyance to me. the only decent ones I've met in my entire life so far are Xion and Naminé.

There's a light pressure on my shoulder, causing me to jump. I see pink out of the corner of my eye and sure enough, Marley is over on the floor, laughing his carcass off. Bastard! No one touches me!

I scramble over and lift him by the collar so he's only inches from my face. His laughing subsides and his face goes blank.

"You never fucking touch me again, got it memorized pinky?" I snarl. His face morphs into a slow smile.

"I was just telling you that Sora and Dem want you in the lunchroom." He says in a sweet voice. I narrow my eyes and Marley's grin just grow wider. So fast that it doesn't register, he leans in and pecks me on the lips. I drop him and he runs away, laughing like a hyena.

I storm out of the bathroom, but the hallway is deserted. That idiot just fucking kissed me! There will be hell to pay! I will fucking kill him…

Damn it… I'll get him later, for now I'll consult the all powerful map on the back of my schedule. I know generally where the lunchroom is, but not exactly… okay, now I feel like an idiot… its right around the corner.

The lunchroom is in sight when something hops onto my back and cover my eyes. Another set covers my mouth before I can yell. What the hell is this?

Hands wrap around my waist and my ankles go out from under me. the hand over my mouth disappears as we start to move, but when I take a breath to speak, a cloth stinking of chemicals is shoved into my mouth and the world fades into darkness…

*~*U*~*U*~*

(Roxas' POV)

I fling the door open to my house and slam it shut, tears pour down my cheeks like a waterfall. This is all too much… I was so close to stopping and ridding myself of this pain, but then he came… Axel is the Catalyst that could be my undoing or my saving… I can't let the first happen, but the latter doesn't sound any better. It's been 4 years since it happened and I still haven't done anything. The memory of the last time hits me hard enough to bring me to my knees.

A tear and sweat stained tee-shirt is stuffed in my mouth as a gag and my wrist are rubbed raw from trying to get out of my bindings. A tall figure towers over me, grinning sadistically.

"Shall we start again, Roxas? Your dad won't be back for another two days, so we won't be interrupted." The pain starts again, followed by more tears. The pain, oh the pain….

I can't stand this… the pain… sobs wrack my body as I rush into the kitchen and open a drawer. A glint of silver flashes at me and I grab for it. The knife. I yank off my sweater and roll up my long sleeved shirt like a pro I pull the gauze off of my arms and slash, opening cuts new and old, until the pain is gone.

I slip to the floor and lay my head on the familiar, Vanilla smelling rug. I miss that smell, mom's smell, so much. it's so soothing… and I drift into oblivion.

Shadow: Seriously, can't you get over your rapist crap?
Me: I'm not a rapist… says the me that is a murderer. Is that any better?
Shadow: Shut up!*glowers*

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