Disclaimer:
Set Scene: Scarlett Ink approaches a shady looking character in a dark alleyway.
Me: I hear you can forge just about anything.
Shady Man: Maybe I can. Maybe I can't. Whose asking?
Me: An author who would do anything for the rights to Twilight.
(Man whips out a broken bottle cap) Shady Man: I'll take your life for it. You have a pretty little head.
(Me baking away slowly, with arms raised in surrender) Me: No. That's okay. I kind of like my head attached to my body. (Sprints away)
(Me is magically on the edge of cliff, because everyone knows that all great screams of agony happen on cliffs. ) Me: You have defeated me this time, oh great Stephenie Meyer, but I will get you and the rights to Twilight too!!!!
Happy reading!
Yours truly,
Scarlett Ink
I glared at the stairs. There they were, a menacing structure obstructing my safe passage to the first floor and mocking me, predicting my doom. I gripped the banister tightly and cautiously maneuvered one of my death traps…I mean shoes… and placed it delicately on the first step.
Success. One down and 17 more to go. Yes. I had counted. It made it easier to determine how much farther I had to go.
At my circumspect snails pace I made my way down the stairs.
I began my count down. "It's the Final Countdown! Doo doo doo doodaloo doo doo." I began to hum to myself. But like all good things they must come to an end.
The front tip of my heel snagged on the carpeted stair and bent underneath itself. I flailed my arms wildly, desperately hoping for a support to appear out of thin air. In an effort to stabilize myself, I tried to put my other foot down, but that only succeeded in tangling my legs tighter. I awkwardly twisted around and my wrist slammed into the banister, having eluded my earlier attempts finding it.
I clutched it for dear life steadied myself. I pumped my fist in the air, with a silent "Yes!" accompanied by a short prayer.
Do you think you can guess what happens next? Clouded by elation of surviving yet another fall, I failed to watch my feet touch the stairs.
And I missed.
Sending me sprawling face first towards the ground. I threw my arms out a connected with a solid object. The solid and painful object herein referred to as the ruthless floor.
"Ooof." I muttered and heard the distinct laughter of chiming bells and a bass drum. My loving audience.
"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward's velvet voice laced with slight concern, but I saw his lips twitching an amusement dancing in his eyes.
"Go on . Laugh." I grumbled as a pink tint colored my cheeks, "This happens at least once a day." Unabashedly, he threw his head back and laughed. I drank in the musical sound.
He held out his hand and I stared at it, filled with apprehension that I could not place. After all, it was just a simple helping hand.
"It's just a hand, Bella. And I don't bite."
A few more moments passed as I deliberated. Accepting the hand, accepting the help was unnerving. It would be opening myself up, making myself vulnerable. Unlocking the protection on my heart and I didn't think I would survive another piece of my heart being carelessly torn to pieces. On the other hand, I was probably over thinking. I tended to do that a lot. It was just a hand. Just a hand to get me off of the ground.
I grabbed his hand and he pulled me off the ground, never breaking eye contact. Edward gripped my arm as I balanced myself on my rather unsteady feet. But still he did not release me, from his hold or his green, piercing eyes.
A crash sounded from the left, and I was released from my captivation. I awkwardly disentangled myself and watched as Alice stared innocently, a knowing smile not completely obscured by her mask of naivety. I glared at her and stalked off to the kitchen where I was greeted warmly by Esme.
"Good morning, Bella. I hope you had a pleasant nights sleep."
"I did and thank you." I responded sincerely.
"Don't mention it dear." She said a huge smile on her face. Esme pushed a plate filled with mounds of eggs and steaming bacon.
I wolfed it down, grinning sheepishly between mouthfuls of egg.
"Sorry." I apologized for my rude behavior, "I haven't had a decent meal, since well…." I trailed off, my former gloom threatening to make an entrance.
Alice noticed my face and quickly moved to distract me, "Lets go. Lets go. School awaits." She said, her excitement bubbling over as she bounced in her seat, hopping up unexpectedly and proceeding to tap her foot impatiently on the ground when I showed no signs of moving.
Edward groaned beside me. "I despise school. Obnoxious people cozying up to the teachers and everyone shrouded in air of haughtiness." He explained solemnly.
"I understand. We all put on a mask to disguise who we truly are. How do you really know who someone is if you never get to see their true face? "
He stared at me in a look that both portrayed awe and amazement.
"Come on you two. They'll be plenty of time to get all philosophical on the car ride over. You two can ride together. The rest of us will take Rosalie's car."
I saw a sly look cross her face, as she looked from both me to Edward and back again. I was suddenly very afraid. She skipped merrily to the door dragging Jasper behind her and pulling a disgruntled Emmett away from his third helping of eggs and bacon.
Edward graciously opened the passenger door for me with a mock bow.
"And they said chivalry was dead." I stated, not quite managing to mirror his serious expression. I pressed my lips together to hold in my laughter, but a humiliating snort gave me away.
"So, are you kidnapping me or are you going to tell me where we are going?"
"We are going to the dismal abyss known as Denali High School. Actually, I quite enjoyed your description of people wearing masks."
"Thank you. I probably am one of the only people who actually believe that sort of stuff. In my mind, you must gain my trust and respect before I will take off my mask."
"Why would you need to wear a mask?"
I stared at the window, begging the tears not to fall and keep my voice steady to answer a question that seemed simple, but in truth was much more complicated.
"I have had my mask on for a while now. I have been hurt far too many times to let my guard down instantly." I whispered. I looked at Edward who gazed at me imploringly and the part of my explanation had been keeping trapped in my head spilled forth unbidden.
"I needed to take care of my mom and she couldn't see me cry. I became an emotionless puppet, but she did not seem to notice." My voice grew increasingly quiet, weighted down by the heaviness of my emotions.
So quiet that I wasn't even sure if Edward would hear the next part, "I not sure if I even know who I am underneath my mask." I mumbled.
I blushed furiously. I hadn't meant to reveal that much about myself. Certainly not on the first day. Alice rapped impatiently on the window and with a sigh Edward started the car and drove down the endless driveway. I stared out the window, looking at the beautiful landscape as it blurred by, seeing but not really seeing. My memories were the only things in front of my eyes.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't pry like that." He said softly, trying not to startle me "My family often kids that I am in their head so much that they no longer have any privacy."
I tried to look up at him. To smile. To say I was okay. But I really wasn't. The dismal mood had become concentrated in this small area and it loomed closer, constricting around me, cutting off my air and the feelings in my heart. I struggled to breathe to breathe the fresh air that would be my new life, but it was too tight, my memories were closing in, threatening to take over and use my poor body as a vessel for feelings of hopelessness. As tears dripped into my lap, I let my body become the empty shell I had grown accustomed to. Locking up my emotions and pushing them farther into the abyss that was becoming my mind.
"Bella. We're here."
He got out of the car silently and I froze with my hand on the door. I half expected and half hoped that Edward would open the door and we could return to our earlier chivalrous banter, but he simply got out and leaned against the hood of the car. He doesn't want to offend you. You started crying the last time he really tried to talk to you.
It took all of my strength to step out of the Volvo. Students milled about the high school and I swear I could feel their stares on me. Everywhere I looked there was someone scrutinizing me. Alice squeezed my arm supportively. But I knew what a new school was like, how it was to be the new girl that everybody gawked at.
I could only imagine that it would be worse now that my past had become even more horrific and gossip-worthy. Last time, I was simply an adopted child with a dead father. Now I am an adopted child, with a dead father, a dead mother and I was recently re-adopted. It felt as though their stares were burning holes in my back and I wanted nothing more than to run away and hide.
The rest of the Cullen family melted into the crowd, while Alice dragged me towards the office. The front office which offered sanctuary.
There were no students there, only a kindly old lady wearing far too much makeup who smiled warmly at me.
"Sorry Bella, I have to get to class. Mrs. Johnson can will get you your schedule and if I don't have any classes with you, I will see you for lunch."
I stared at her back with a panicked look, alone, again.
"Ahh. So you must be Bella Swan." I turned back to Mrs. Johnson and nodded mutely.
"Everyone's been expecting you." She informed me as though it was supposed to make me feel better, I still said nothing. She seemed awfully flustered by my lack of response.
"Well, dearie. Here is your schedule and a map. It's a pretty small school, so you shouldn't have any trouble finding your way around and I am sure the other students will be more than happy to help." She handed me the leafs of paper.
"Thank you." I responded automatically.
Schedule:
English Literature 2…………………………………………. Mr. Kingsley (Building 4)
Pre-Calculus……………………………………………………Mrs. Pratt (Building 5)
French 2,3 ………………………………………………………Ms. Carolle (Building 1)
Free Period………………………………………………………Building 3A
Lunch…………………………………………………………………Cafeteria
Biology Lab…………………………………………………………Mr. Baxel (Building 6)
Gym………………………………………………………………Gymnasium (Coach Robinson)
Poorly disguised whispers and snickers stalked me as I shuffled down the hallway.
"I can't believe the Cullen's adopted another misfit."
"I'd tap that."
"She's even uglier than the last one"
I ducked quickly into my English Lit. Class.
"Hello. I'm Bella Swan. I'm new." I muttered, gazing up briefly to meet the teacher's eyes.
"Yes. Bella. Well here is the list of all the books we have already read. I expect you to have them finished by next week." My mouth dropped open as I scanned the list of 6 different books and 11 short stories and poems, "You won't have to prepare essays for them, but I expect you to know them extensively for the midterm and final. We are in the midst of analyzing Shakespeare's twenty-second sonnet. I imagine you are familiar with it. Here is a copy." He turned back to the black board and I stood routed to the spot.
"Well. Go on. Find a seat. Any open one will do."
I found a seat in the back corner and slid into it gratefully.
Shakespeare's XXII Sonnet:
My glass shall not persuade me I am old,
So long as youth and thou are of one date;
But when in thee time's furrows I behold,
Then look I death my days should expiate.
For all that beauty that doth cover thee
Is but the seemly raiment of my heart,
Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me:
How can I then be elder than thou art?
O, therefore, love, be of thyself so wary
As I, not for myself, but for thee will;
Bearing thy heart, which I will keep so chary
As tender nurse her babe from faring ill.
Presume not on thy heart when mine is slain;
Thou gavest me thine, not to give back again.
"Such a fragile thing, the heart." I mused as a lone tear trickled down my cheek and splashed on the page, obstructing several words.
Throughout the day, the most trivial things would remind me of my parents, more often my mother.
A perky blonde wandering around in a Harvard sweat shirt reminded me of how I had intruded on my mother's plans to receive a master's degree in education. All the same, she constantly reassured me that I was, while unplanned, certainly not unwanted.
The smell of coffee wafting form the Teacher's Lounge reminded me of how Renee would make a fresh pot of coffee every morning and give Charlie a steaming mug. Every morning, she kissed the side of the mug, leaving afresh lipstick print.
But even more damaging, the comforting words and gentle pats on the back from all of the Cullen's reminded me of all I had lost and all the my heart was incapable of excepting again.
By sixth hour, I couldn't handle it anymore. I had no more courage or fight left in me. I could no withstand the barrage of memories or snide comments from my fellow students so I did the only rational thing I could dream up….. I fled.
I know Bella seems to have these crazy bi-polar mood swings. She wants to be a normal kid, and go back to being herself, but she can't figure out how to let her parents go. So, for the moments when she is distracted, Bella will have her real personality and interacts well with the rest of the Cullen's. However, when she is reminded of her parents, she will instantly close up and start wallowing—regressing to depressing (and not fun to write about) Bella.
I don't really like this chapter. I am finally starting to write again and I don't feel like I was able to get this chapter to have the mood I wanted it to have.
Enough babbling. I tend to go on tangents and I am very easily distracted. All I was planning on saying was: PLEASE REVIEW, expect long breaks in between chapters and probably rather large time breaks.