AN: HIYA GUYS.
Neddy here ! Just a quick update. Alright so we know this chapter is short and all, it's just a filler, really. We actually came up with this idea at like two in the morning last night xD So uhm. Yeah. And we were thinking about having a chatroom with the readers of this fic. That is, if anyone would actually come xD Just to talk, maybe give some suggestions and get to know what our readers like and all that jazz.
On a side note, I am sick as a dog and Hannah has a mysterious giant bug in her house. Had we not lived in entirely different states I would've killed it for her but I can't go from New York to Chicago in under five seconds so now Hannah has to live with the bug being possibly under her pillowcase. She has no clue I'm adding this to the authors note and she's totally going to yell at me.
She hates me so much. It's brilliant.
...
It was a beautiful day outside; the sun was shining, making the white decorations so bright they almost hurt Sam's eyes—and there was a lot of white in this picture. It wasn't a huge gathering, but there were a fair amount of people. And there, at the front of it all, was Quinn, looking uncomfortable in a suit and rocking out to some surfer song that was blasting through his headphones.
"Come on guys. My bed time is 10:30, let's get this done." Caine called out from the first row of the audience. Diana hit him over the head with a rolled up newspaper.
There was a cat in the seat next to Diana. The cat was wearing a tuxedo, which made Quinn painfully confused, yet intrigued with the mysterious feline. He turned his attention back to the podium and cleared his throat at the microphone.
"Ahem."
Astrid was standing at the base of the aisle, looking nervous but confident, and wearing nothing but white lingerie. Sam hit Quinn in the gut and winced, holding his injured hand while Quinn, now irritated, took out his ear buds.
At Quinn's nod, Astrid began walking down the aisle, a small man wearing a jetpack holding up the train of her dress. Sam grinned and waited anxiously as Astrid stepped over the underwear that the Thong Girl had dropped earlier. Drake and Kira was grabbing a few of them subtly, trying not to be noticed.
"We're like totally here today because my brah and his girl are getting hooked up." Quinn sighed. "So uh I'm gonna skip all of the boring stupid stuff that priests say and get right down to it."
Astrid's palm connected with her face.
Sam grinned.
"If anyone has any like, legit reasons why these two shouldn't get down with it, speak now or forever hold your peas," Quinn announced.
Drake looked down at the zip-lock back of peas in his lap. He picked them up and clutched them tightly to his chest. He vowed to never let go of his little peasy-weasys.
"No one? Cool, brah." He cleared his throat, noticing that the cat had changed into a stick of butter and was now surfing on its chair. "Do you brah, like, take this hot chick to be your like, legal lover or whatever?"
"Totally brah." Sam grinned brightly. He was really excited to get this over with so they could go on their honeymoon and butter each other's goats.
"And do you, blonde chick to my left, take this dude as your forever sex friend?" Quinn drawled, clearly bored with the situation at hand.
"Yep." Astrid seemed somewhere in between happy and annoyed.
"Cool. You may now eat face or whatever."
The crowd applauded, and someone yelled "TAKE OFF YOUR BRA." For some reason, Diana and Caine were chewing on phonebooks and Drake was now wearing a bonnet. Sam shrugged, anxious to get giddy.
Suddenly, a deranged man who was naked like a statue jumped in front of Sam and Astrid. "HALT RIGHT THERE," he said loudly. "YOU MAY NOT CONTINUE."
"Dude, move," Sam said, trying to shove past him.
The man pointed to Astrid. "She has hysterical pregnancy!"
Sam gasped. "You told me rolling didn't count!" he accused Astrid.
"I thought it didn't! I'm sorry Sam." Astrid burst into tears and ran away so that nobody knew where she went.
Drake stood up "I'll get her." He groaned. "ASTRID. GET OVER HERE."
Quinn was bored with the situation. He produced a bucket of fried chicken from under the podium and stuck in his headphones once more. A llama ran past wearing a sombrero. The llama had an impressive mustache.
Caine and Diana were fighting over whose baby dolphin was cutest. Kira was sitting alone, grooving to a song on her iPod.
"Oh hot reservoir," she sang, "this is my jelly!"
Sam stood in the center of it all, watching Edilio ride the llama. This was not how he had always pictured his wedding going. There had always been more sense and less clothes.
Sam was very confused. Not that that was a foreign feeling for him, but he had thought he'd at least understand his wedding. But of course, he didn't. Drake returned, Astrid trailing behind him with a chicken on her head. "SAM I HAD THE BABY LOOK! I NAMED HIM CHARLIE!" She pointed excitedly to the fowl .
"It looks like me," Sam said approvingly.
"GUYS THIS LLAMA IS OUT OF CONTROL," Edilio yelled, as the llama ran between them and started mooing.
"CALM YO LLAMA," Drake shouted. But it was too late; the llama ate the chicken. Astrid screamed.
"No! I must retrieve my child!" She started prying the llama's mouth open and began to climb inside.
Sam grabbed Astrid's back side and pulled her away from the llama's mouth. Edilio began doing the Hoedown Throwdown.
"Does anyone remember that one time," Caine yelled over the crowd, "with the spaghetti and-"
Sam woke up rolling before sitting up and ruffling his hair. It took him a moment to realize that the wedding had all just been a dream, or maybe a nightmare.
"TRIP TIMEEEE" he sang in a Justin Beiber voice, before falling back into strange and troubled dreams.