Chapter 4

Author's Foreword:

Thanks Shunner68 and DarcZstrike!

All right, this one is a lot longer than previous chapters ... I do apologize ... I tried breaking it down into 2 smaller chapters but it didn't seem right to me. Tweaked it around though!

Let's see, let's recap what we already know!

-Ratchet has a crush on Wheeljack since middle school, the other guys know about it

-Wheeljack thinks Circlelift is Ratchet's crush

-they are all going to a party at Bumblebee's

-Blaster is pissed off at Soundwave

-Prowl had a really bad break-up with Shockwave

-Warpath ... desperate teenager ...

-Smokescreen ... well ... combine a horny teenager with a psychologist ...

-Ratchet will be asking his crush out ... TONIGHT!

Let's find out what happens!

"Mom! Stoooop iiiit!"

"But sweetie! You will be asking him out!"

"Doesn't mean I need to wear a tie and a full suit! It's a party!" Ratchet kept trying to get his parents to leave the student alone.

"And you will look gorgeous, son!"

"You will be irresistible!"

"Mooooom!"

"Hold on, there is something on your face." The mother licked her digits and proceeded to wipe it off her son's face.

"Mooooooom!" the white mech cringed.

"W'sh ai w's goin' …" Ironhide called from the corner.

"You will, sweetie, once you complete this set of exercises!"

"Y' saehd that twehlve sets ago!"

"Keep workin', Hidey."

"Hey, Ratch! Wanna trade places?"

"Yes …"

"Come on, now, Ironhide, don't be a wet blanket …" the father laughed.

"I'm eh sweaty blanket …"

"You will go to the party once you finish this set, I promise." the fembot patted her son on the head.

"Nghr …"

"Hey, come on, sweetheart, you know this will be good for you!"

"Ngrgh …"

"Yes! When Chromia sees your majestically gorgeous body," their mother spun around in a delicate ballet move, "she will fall in love with you once and forever!"

"C'n yah 't least get Kup off my back?"

"Keep doin' those pushups, kid."

"Thank you Kup!"

"Anytime."

"Whaht's he doin' heere anyway?"

"Helping you get Chromia!"

"W'sh I w's all dress'd up …"

"Trust me, Ironhide, it is not any better here …" Ratchet gave up providing any resistance once his mother took out her collection of decorative flowers.

"Now, now, you two! Just watch!"

"You will be thanking us later."

"Faeehne."

"Fine."

"We love you."

"We love you too, guys."

"Aw," the grey bot opened up another bottle of alcohol, making himself more comfortable on Ironhide's back, "to you guys!"

"Blasteh!"

"Wheelman, my mech! Decided to come, huh?"

"Yeah, got nothin' betteh teh do anyway."

"Mech, this party's gonna be dah bomb!"

"The fun begins even befo'eh?"

"You know it, bro!"

"Glad teh see yeh in such a good mood!"

"Thanks, bro! I got a good feelin' 'bout this throwdown!"

"Seen Crazy, Boobs, Boom or Wrenchy?"

"Naw, not yet."

"How was school tehday? Sorry we couldn' hang out …"

"We hangin' now, bro!"

"Hehe, right. Any expectations fer this one?"

"Tons of fun! You comin' to prom? I know I ain't."

"Same he'eh."

"They always let Soundwave DJ!"

"He doesn' play good stuff, does he …"

"The slag he can't!"

"How's Jazz?"

"Better but not well 'nough to go back to school."

"Ergh, he's cool."

"Want in on a little secret?"

"What?"

"He likes Prowl."

"Really?"

"Yeah! He wanted to meet him …"

"Wow, what yeh mean?"

"Well, Jazz is a bit of a stalker."

"Ah, all righ'. Eh tad bit creepy but cute."

"He wanted to ask Chestzilla but he got sick so …"

"Is Supehchest over Shockwave yet?"

"Ha! Superchest! And no, I don' think he is."

"Well, good luck teh Jazz."

"I heard Inferno gonna make a move on Firstar."

"Yeah, me 'n' Ratchet discussed it eh lil' bit. Ironhide is gonna try teh get Chromia tehnight."

"Wow, so much love's in the air!"

"Speakin' ef love," Wheeljack scratched his helmet, "did yeh know that Wrenchy has eh crush?"

"R-r-really? And, um," trying his best to handle the delicate situation in the best manner possible, Blaster quickly recovered from shock, "who might that be?"

"I don' know, some guy named Circlelift."

"… Circlelift …" the tapedeck froze again.

"Yeah …"

"… Circlelift …"

"I know, right?"

"That's the best he could dig up?" throwing his servos out, the red mech was on edge of screaming.

"Appehrently."

"So what about this Circlelift person?"

"Ratchet said he's gonna ask the guy out tehnight."

"Tonight?"

"Too soon."

"Well," Blaster sighed, facepalming, "it ain't late."

"… uh-huh …"

"So, you got anybody in your sights?"

"Me? Nah. You?"

"Hm, nope, other than beating Soundwave in Guitar Prime, nope, nothing."

"Oh," Wheeljack mumbled, "I'm shu'eh the two of yeh'll be playin each otheh's instruments tehnight."

"What?"

"No, nothin'.Yeh know if Starscream and Shockwave 're comin'?"

"Yeah, Slut is dragging Capt'n Valve there."

"Hold on, I thought Firestar was Slut."

"Oh! Right, sorry, Submission Prime, right?"

"Yeah, hehe."

"Ha! Remember when we kept calling Inferno – Foamy?"

"He freakin' sprayed the whole school with foam."

"Took us days to clean the whole place."

"Sticky, milky foam that really looked like something else."

"Pfffffheeheeheehee."

"Khehehehe."

"Crazy?"

"Another one night stand and then a detailed analysis of how they feel."

"Boom?"

"Boom!" Warpath, Prowl and Smokescreen showed up from around the corner, "hey guys! Shakow!"

"Hey, guys." the psychologist bobbed his head.

"Greetings." Prowl sighed, wanting to go home and do calculus for fun instead.

"Awesome! Waiting for Ratchet then, bros?"

"Yup."

"Bang!"

"Indeed."

"Uh-huh."

"Anybody gettin' the chills, bros?"

"Yes," stretching the vowels, the tricolor rubbed his servos together in anticipation, "I am getting chills from all the dirty secrets people will be spilling when the alcohol flows!"

"Getting the chills from Creepy over here."

"Prooooowl! I am not creeeepy!"

"Quiet, you."

"Blam! Jus' don' hog all the hotties for yourself! Shachwink!"

"First come first serve," striking a pose after doing a quick spin, Smokescreen banged his fingers at the tank, "boom!"

"Oh, great, there are two of them, just what we needed, Smokescreen turning into Warpath and Warpath turning into Smokecreen …"

"The fun begins on freakin' CBC."

"Ha! Nice one, Wheelman!"

"Cybertron Broadcasting Company went under …"

"Whateveh! Sheesh!"

"CBC gets resurrected!"

"Right …"

"Blam! I miss some of those shows."

"What was that cartoon they had, Transklonkers?"

"Hey, guys," Ratchet's voice came from behind a line of trees, "what's up?"

"Ratchet?"

"Ratchet!"

"Greetings, Ratchet."

"What up, Wrenchdude?"

"Where are you? Come out!"

"Um, eh, I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Fwoosh! Come on, man! Brrring it on! Krapow!"

"Ratchet, come on, we're all waitin' fer yeh."

"Promise me you won't laugh!"

"Uh, all right, promise man."

"Promised! Shachakawow!"

"All right."

"Promise."

"Uh-huh."

"Well, here I am." The future medic slowly came out in the open, all dolled up in his dad's tuxedo, sprinkled with glitter and two, big beautiful flowers tucked behind his audio receptors.

The silence was so dead, you could hear a cyber-cricket chirp on the other side of Cybertron.

"Well?"

"Pfffhhh…" Smokescreen was desperately trying not to explode.

"Tssssssmmmm…" Blaster was noticeably wobbling from one side to another.

"Krkhhhh…." Warpath covered his mouth shut with both of his hands, attempting to keep all the sounds out of his mouth inside.

"Nghhhhh…" Prowl for the first time ever since his break up with Shockwave drew such a big smile on his faceplates that he thought it would damage his muscles.

Only Wheeljack remained silent.

"You promised you won't …"

Smookescreen couldn't hold it any longer, leaned on his knees and let it rip.

"PFHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"EEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!" Blaster tilted off to the side, falling on the ground and convulsing, rolled on the ground, coolant trickling out of his eyes.

"BWAKHAKHAKHAKHA!" Warpath went catatonic and fell backwards, hitting his head on a lamp post which only made him laugh even more.

"GHAAHAHAHAHA!" Prowl was gone, he was just gone; fell on his aft, wiggling his legs, held on for the life of his poor spleen.

"… laugh …" Ratchet sniffed.

"Oh, Cybetron! Hahahaahahahaah!"

"It's too much! It'S TOO MUCH!"

"BAAAAAM! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Prowl stopped laughing out loud, he was desperately gasping for air to satisfy his expression of euphoria.

"Now I have seen everythihahahahahaahah!"

"My face! My lungs! My spleen! My diaphragm! You are killing me!"

"Oh, jeez, oh, that was worth all the pain in the world. Boom!"

"Oh, Ratchet …"

"You guys promised!"

"I didn' laugh." Wheeljack walked up to his friend and took one of the flowers, securing it on one of his audio receptors, "how do I look?"

"… too …"

"… much …"

"… khe khe khe khe …" Warpath was one of the first to recover and went on to help a reddening Prowl.

"You look," it took the high schooler a click to recover from surprise to his crush's actions, "gorgeous!"

"Gorgeous, huh? It's been a while …"

"Wheelman, don't start another one, please," Blaster used the lamp post to bring himself up back on his feet, still giggling, "I freaking swear, the party didn't even begin and we already can call it a success."

"Grapow! Damn right! Nice outfit, Ratchet!"

"Shut up …"

"Is Prowl, um, all right?" The engineer turned around and squinted, taking a closer look at their big-chested comrade who seemed to have passed out.

"Haaaaa, haaaa, haaaaaa …"

"Just give him an astrosecond to breathe, he should be fine." Ratchet pouted. "You guys promised you won't laugh!"

"We didn't laugh," Smokescreen protested, "we nearly died right there."

"All jokes aside, Wrenchman, nice suit."

"Krank! Nice flower too! Where did you get one of those? Fwapow!"

"You are kidding …"

"No! For real! Bazoom! Can I have one?"

"Nope, sorry, Warpath," the flowered mech walked around Ratchet and hugged him from behind, "that was all fer me."

"Uh, oh!" Ratchet's faceplates colored themselves with the biggest, reddest blush, "um, eh, uh …"

Boom, Blaster and Crazy all exchanged an awkward look when Blaster said:

"Tonight."

"Ah."

"All right."

"Oh, right!" Wheeljack took off the decoration and gave it to Ratchet, "yeh got Circlelift to confess teh! Good luck!"

"Oh, oh, um, yes," Ratchet timidly took it back and put it on his head, "Circlelift, of course!"

"Prowl! Get up!"

"What, what, I am awake, I am awake. Um, Ratchet, what the …"

"I will explain later …"

"Right, so, let's go?"

"Yeah!"

"Let's crash this party!"

"Indeed."

"Boom!"

"Yes!"

"Uh-huh."

At first people nearly offlined from laughter at the sight of the medic in a sparkling tuxedo with flowers on top of his head but eventually he got a lot of compliments for wearing it and coming in style. Smokescreen and Warpath immediately disappeared in the crowd after grabbing cubes of alcohol, honing in on easy prey for psychological breakdown and eventual interface. Prowl joined the geeks playing chess and soon became their unsurpassable leader. Blaster, after wishing the other two to have tons of fun, went to dominate the dance floor, conquering it from his mortal enemy – Soundwave.

"So," Wheeljack grabbed a cup of energon and took a sip, "Bumblebee shu'eh knows how teh get eh party rollin'."

"Good thing his parents are out of town, if they came here and saw this," Ratchet waved his servo in the general direction of the main group filled with transformers talking, dancing, flirting, grinding and kissing, "they would flip like a freaking energon pancake in cooking class last year."

"Man, those were delicious!"

"Yes, they were."

"All right, yeh go look fer Circuitlift, I'll go make fun ef Huffer 'n' tease Starscream."

"R-r-right …" he tried to stop the engineer but it was futile, the mech already got lost among the high school debauchery, "well, no point in standing in one spot, I wonder if Ironhide is here yet …"

"So, what do you know about Freud?"

"Who is that? A pop-singer?"

"You see, Freud was a psychologist who said that …"

"YOU ARE A SICK FREAK!"

"Hey, Springeh!"

"Wheeljack! Long time no see!"

"Yeah! How've yeh been?"

"Good! You?"

"Not that bad! Hey, I don' mean to be a wet blanket but I heard some talk 'bout yeh."

"Talk? Like what?"

"That yeh can't sco'eh with Arcee."

"What? Who said that?"

"Yeh know that kid Hot Rod?"

"From elementary school?"

"Yeah! He said he got a shot with Arcee 'n' yeh don'!"

"Ok, that's it, where is she?"

"I'll keep an eye out fer her."

"Thanks, man! I appreciate it!"

"No problem! Hehe, let the fun begin."

"Hey, babe, want to get upstairs and BLANG BOOM BANG …"

"You already hit on me …"

"Do I get some love for tryin' again? Chow!"

"Soundwave."

"Blaster."

"We meet again."

"We meet everyday at school."

"Let this be our final battle."

"… what?"

"… just play along …"

"Well, ain't that a nice set of buns on the front and the back! Bam!"

"… well, hello there …"

"… Oh! Arcee! Sorry, didn't recognize you there …"

"Hey! Arcee! Remembeh me?"

"Wheeljack! You son of a …"

"Wait! Befo'eh yeh say anything' I want teh apologize fer what I did. It wasn' nice teh launch eh rocket with eh rat in it and I am he'eh to make it up fer yeh."

"Really? How are you going to make up for something like that?"

"I heard talk."

"Huh? What kind of talk?"

"I heard Hot Rod sayin' that yeh got no shot with Springeh."

"What?" Wait, how did he tell you?"

"I was fixin' the equipment in the elementary school, he was helpin' me out."

"What kind of equipment?"

"The boileh's room, the guy was sick on that day."

"Ah, all right."

"Yeah! He told me that he's gonna make a move on Springeh tonight!"

"All right, that's it, where is Springer?"

"I think I saw him in the kitchen."

"Thanks."

"Arcee, wait."

"What?"

"This talk neveh happened, 'k?"

"I promise."

"Ok, now go get 'im, girl!"

"Thanks!"

"Now, what else can I do 'round he'eh …"

"That guy is impossible to beat!"

"It is very possible to beat me …"

"All right! A challenge! Three chess games at the same time!"

"You call that a challenge? I call that Saturday morning."

"Hey, Huffeh!"

"Huh? What? Oh! Wheeljack? Is that you? Wooow …"

"Yeh been drinkin'?"

"Yeah …"

"Oh, this'll be fun …"

"So, do you remember how your dad used to sexually abuse you?"

"… yes …"

"Hey, babe …"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please? Bam!"

"I have pepper spray …"

"You have a good night, lady."

"… if you go to D-4 with your Queen then I will move my Knight to A-2 declaring check which will make you go to F-1 and then I am open to attack you with my bishop …"

"I give up!"

"Me too!"

"Me too!"

"Me too!"

"Me too!"

"Me too!"

"… weaklings …"

"Hey, Starscream!"

"What, Wheeljack?"

"I heard Tracks say that you are uglier than your brothers, Thundercracker and Skywarp, and you will never get Soundwave …"

"JUST YOU WATCH ME!"

"You are going down!"

"Fact: Blaster shall lose."

"That's it! You are going lower than Starsceam in heat!"

"Hey!" the seeker yelled out.

"Fact: Blaster will get low low low low low …"

"You tell him!"

"Time to spank some Soundwave!"

"Fact: the 80's called, they want their bad music back."

"Oh, it's on, slagger!"

"Statement: Bring it, bitch."

"Okay!" Starscream jumped on the stage and glomped the blue mech.

"Fact: not you, Starscream!"

"I can bring it!"

"… I'll give you two mechs a moment …"

"… and then my boyfriend broke up with me! Can you believe that bastard?"

"My, Cybertron! How did that make you feel?"

"I want revenge! Come on! Let's interface!"

"… ok!"

"Well, hello there, sexy …"

"Um, Warpath …"

"Yeah, baby, say my name …"

"I'm Bumblebee …"

"AAAAH! Sorry!"

"It's all right, you weren't the first one …"

"Hey, Tracks!"

"Wheeljack! How nice to see you!"

"Yeh've been drinkin'?"

"A little bit, I think, tee hee hee!"

"Starscream said that yeh can't get Soundwave."

"Huh? What?"

"He said that yer too ugly fer someone like Soundwave."

"I will show him!"

"Hehehe, always make yer own entehtainment …"

"… hey gals!"

"Hey Warpath!" Chromia and Firestar turned around.

"Oh! Crap! See ya!"

"Did he …"

"… he did …"

"There! 3D chess is ready!"

"Cybertron help us all …"

"Hey! Ironhide! You made it!"

"Did Chromia come yet?"

"Yes, she is right there, talking to Firestar."

"Wish me luck, bro."

"Good luck."

"You too, with Wheeljack."

"Eh, thanks.

"Blapow! Hey, babe, you wanna go … oh, sorry Ratchet …"

"Hey! Bluestreak!"

"Oh, hey! I am sorry, I can't remember your name …"

"It's Ratchet."

"Ratchet! Oh, sorry, I thought you were Weeljack! Hm, I gues that makes sense, we all kinda have wheels and sometimes we use jacks … speaking of surprises …"

"Remembeh yeh asked me teh bring Prowl to the party?"

"Yes! Did you?"

"Yeah! Yer crush's right oveh the'eh …"

"… fly me to Cybertroooon, I want to dance among the stars, let me see what subbing is liiiike, on universe's bitch … yeah, I may use that …"

"So, you will be asking Inferno out?"

"Yes! Oh! Look! There is Ironhide! Good luck, sweetie!"

"Thank you, girlfriend, you too!"

"Firestar!"

"Inferno!"

"Chromia!"

"Ironhide!"

"Ir'nhide?"

"Inferno?"

"What you doin' here?"

"Askin' the girl of my dreams out …"

"YOU AIN' TAKIN' FIRESTAR!"

"I AM ASKIN" CHROMIA OUT!"

"You are?"

"You are?"

"Really?"

"… yes …"

"Oh, Ironhide, yes! I will be your girlfriend!"

"Hey, big boy."

"Hey, Firestar."

"Want to ask me something?"

"Yes! Firestar …"

"How d'you keep yer hair like that?"

"HUH?"

"Nah, kiddin'! Firestar!"

"What?"

"Will yeh goh aoot w'th me?"

"Yes! A thousand times yes!"

"Hey! Starscream!"

"Tracks, I am in the middle of something with Soundwave!"

"You think you are better than me?"

"I know I am better than you!"

"You are a better whore than me!"

"Inquiry: what the slag is going on?"

"What, you think I can't get Soundwave?"

"What, you think you can?"

"As if an inferior piece of scrap like you would ever be worthy of Soundwave!"

"You want to trade blows? You can't even hit puberty!"

"Inquiry: can I leave?"

"NO!," both provocateurs said in sync.

"Hey, Soundwave! How long are you gonna chill with those two?"

"Shut up!"

"Silence!"

"Plea: HELP!"

"Hm, I don't know, you are taking an awful lot of credit for our project …"

"Fact: my facilities are more suited for the research in question."

"You couldn't get fragged even on a warship filled with mechs pumped on aphrodisiacs!"

"You couldn't get fragged by Huffer even if you begged him!"

"Begging: Blaster!"

"Only if we split credit 50 50."

"You are fugly!"

"You reek of whore!"

"Fact: AGREED!"

"Hey, guys …"

"WHAT?"

"There is a last klik 90 percent sale at Hot Topic …"

"I WILL GET THERE FIRST!" Tracks and Starscream both jumped off Soundwave and quickly ran to the door. "SCRAP HEAP! I WILL!"

"Fact: I am thankful."

"Now, about that credit …"

"Well, at least my brother and Inferno are happy, where is Wheeljack?"

"Hello, Prowl?"

"Yes, that would be me."

"Hi, my name is Bluestreak! I am very glad to meet you! Speaking of meeting people …"

"… well …"

"… don't you just love this party? Everybody is having so much fun! I love having fun! I remember a few years ago I was laughing so hard I passed out …"

"... huh …"

"… can you imagine that? So, anyway, what do you think of the sheets Bumblebee has, aren't they just adorable? I mean I like petro-rabbits and all but don't the gasoline kittens give it a special glow. You know what else glows? Uranium! Yes! Glows in the dark. I am scared of the dark, it is very frightening, thank goodness I have my plushy Ick-Yaks and petro-rabbits …"

"… oh, frag …"

"… seriously, where is Wheeljack?"

"… nooooo, nooooo, noooo …"

"Hic! Why not?"

"Huffer, you need to be this tall to ride the Warpath. BOOM!"

"Swindle! Hey, man!"

"Wheeljack! My favorite customer!"

"Glad yeh could make it!"

"Like wise! Now, how may I help you? Would you be interested in …"

"I'm interested in givin' yeh info."

"What? Really? For free?"

"Ef course!"

"What's the catch?"

"Swindle, is the'eh eveh eh catch with me?"

"… uh …"

"I am givin' yeh information, not my inventions."

"Hm, fair enough. Whatcha got?"

"I heard from Thundercracker that yeh can't get anyone teh interface with yeh."

"What?"

"Wait, hear me out. I also found out that Thundercracker is, um how should I say it, well, lackin' in body parts if yeh catch my drift."

"So …"

"He is just bitter! And considering the things he said about yer dad's shop …"

"What did that motherslagger say about my father's store?"

"He said that the candy there is stale, vomitatin'-apparently it's a word- and overpriced. Wait, wait! I know how yeh can get back at him."

"What? Tell me! How?"

"You see First Aid oveh the'eh?"

"Well, the other day I heard Skywarp say that Thundercracker has this huge crush on lil' First Aid oveh the'eh …"

"Ah! I see!"

"Go get 'im."

"Thanks, Wheeljack!"

"Hehehe, now, where is Starscream?"

"Where is Wheeljack?"

"Soundwave! You are a sorry excuse for a musician! You transform into a freaking lamppost! How is that even relevant to music?"

"That is a very good question …"

"Fact: Blaster inferior, Soundwave superior."

"Oh, I am sorry, were you dissing me? I couldn't hear it over how awesome I am …"

"… at sucking."

"Will you guys stop it with the lame trash talk?"

"… it's not lame …"

"… trash talk superior …"

"All right, either play Guitar Prime or let others play …"

"… urgh, fine …"

"… hrgh, affirmative …"

"Contestants! Three, two, one … Go!"

"Holy slag! Look at those two go!"

"It's, it's, it's perfect!"

"I have never seen anything so beautiful!"

"They are hitting every note!"

"I will let both of them hit all my notes if I get any more drunk …"

"MISSION: FOR THE LOVE OF CYBERTRON …"

"… PUT SOME ALCOHOL IN HER!"

"For the love of Cybertron, where is Wheeljack?"

"Oh, Inferno! That was magnificent!"

"Yeah … I'm gay …"

"How dare he trick us?"

"I knew that Hot Topic was closed."

"Then why did you go too, moron?"

"Because, you idiot, I wanted to laugh at you."

"Uh-huh, suuuuure, you also wanted to fall into that pile of petro-rabbit excrement too …"

"Sh-shut up! At least I didn't pull on a door that says push right on the handle!"

"It was closed anyway!"

"Uh-huh, sure, mister scientist."

"Starscream! Just the mech I'va been lookin' fer!"

"You haven't been looking for me, darling?"

"Eh, Tracks, eh, Warpath wanted to ask yeh somethin 'bout the project yeh guys were doin'."

"Oh! Right, it is due next week! All right, thanks!"

"Yer welcome. All right, Starscream!"

"Why were you looking for me? Ready to admit my superiori …"

"Uh-huh, yeah, whateveh. I just heard somethin' very disturbin'."

"What?"

"It was 'bout yeh."

"Huh?What did you hear?"

"I heard Skywarp say that First Aid can top you …"

"WHAT? THAT LITTLE GOODY GOODY TWO SHOES?"

"Yuh-huh."

"I WILL FRAGGING FRAG HIM TILL THERE IS NO TOMORROW!"

"Hehehehehe, cameras planted, footage is transmitted to my lab- it'll be epic."

"Where the frag is that fragging crush of mine?"

"Problem, Ratchet?"

".. I can't find Wheeljack …"

"Aw, don't cry, I will help you find him!"

"FIRST AID!"

"Pardon me," Swindle squinted, "but I am currently …"

"GO FRAG YOURSELF!"

"Wh-wh-wha-why are you screaming?"

"Come on!" Starscream grabbed the mech by the hand and dragged him upstairs, past the rooms with interfacing transformers, into the one free room left in the house and locked the doors behind them.

"Wh-wha-what are you gonna …"

"So, Skywarp thinks you can top me, huh?"

"Wh-what?"

"I, Starscream," the seeker pushed the future victim onto the berth and retracted his codpiece, showing a hungry dripping spike, "will be the one to top you!"

"S-s-s-stop! P-pl-ple-please!"

"No! I will do it!" Suddenly he stopped for a few astroseconds. "Fragging Tracks …"

"What?"

"… I am not sure what to do …"

"Well, neither am I …"

"So," the young scientist got off the berth, "what do we do?"

"I don't know …"

"All right." After a fairly long, awkward silence, the failed dominator finally proposed a plan. "Frag me."

"What?"

"Go on!" Starscream bent over and stretched out his aft cheeks, showing off a juicy valve trickling with fluids. "Frag me!"

"B-b-b-but I can't!"

"What are you, a fembot?"

"No …"

"Then frag me!"

"B-b-b-b-but …"

"CYBERTRON DAMN IT, I WANT A SPIKE!"

"I want a spike too …" First Aid timidly said, shyly tapping his index digits together.

"Wheeljack! There you are!"

"Ratchet! How did it go with Circuitlift?"

"Oh! Um, I don't think he is here yet."

"Ah, all righ'. Hey, it's getting' really loud with all the music 'n' crap, climb the hill?" The engineer lift a bag in his servos. "I got some be'eh."

"Eh …"

"Relax, it ain' even 5 percent. I only got two so we won' get drunk."

"Hm, all right," the future medic joined his friend as they walked to the top of the little acclivity, "so where did you disappear off to?"

"Hehe, remembeh how we ordehred all those mini-cameras 'n' we had so many left oveh that we didn' know what teh use them fer?"

"Oh, dude, that is disgu…"

"No! It ain' what yeh think! I went 'round tellin' people stuff …"

"Oh, dear Cybertron, I knew it was you …"

"What?"

"Arcee and Springer hooking up, Starscream and Tracks bitching it out- that was all you?"

"Hehe, 'n' much, much mo'eh."

"Oh, dear Cybertron …"

"Aaaand I glued the mini-cameras on them!"

"How? Those things are small enough to go through a vein!"

"Neveh undehestimate the Wheelman!" The mech was beaming with pride. "I made eh tiny gun that would shoot them when I tap my hand on someone."

"What did you use as glue? Wouldn't it dry?"

"Well, didn' exactly use glue, mo'eh like a tiny magnet."

"How did you manage to chip magnets to such small sizes? Magnet dust is too big!"

"I built eh shrink ray."

"You shrunk yourself …"

"Yes!"

"How did you get back to your original size?"

"I reversed the polarity."

"… and that worked?"

"I'm talkin' teh yeh, ain' I?"

"… you amaze me …"

"Thank yeh!"

"I am also slightly concerned for you."

"Should I take that as eh compliment?"

"Sure …"

"Ah! There we are!" Wheeljack turned around and sat down. "Nice view, ain' it?"

"Uh, oh!," Ratchet did as the engineer and settled right next to him, "man! It is!"

The lit-up city, with all of its skyscrapers and old buildings, harmonized quite nicely with the night sky of Iacon; showing off the trillions of stars, a few nebulas, two beautiful moons and the one, infinite space containing all sorts of secrets and mysteries waiting to be discovered, eager to share themselves with the young generation, patiently waiting for their arrival. No wonder so many poets and authors dedicated their works, all their imagination and energy, to the alluring majesty of the cosmos.

"Yeh think we'll eveh get teh go up the'eh?"

"Some day, I hope."

"Jus' imagine what lies out the'eh: otheh races, planets, whole civilizations creatin' their own crap!"

"Crap?"

"Yeh know what I mean …"

"Heh, come on! You were on a roll there!"

"Urgh, I don' want to sound cheehsy!"

"Hey! I wore this tuxedo and two flowers, come on, throw me some."

"Heh, I guess it's only fa'eh. Ahem, hem," Wheeljack made himself more comfortable and gesturing with his servos began anew, "Jus' imagine what lies out the'eh! Othe'eh unique races, strange planets, enti'eh civilizations makin' the'eh way through the darkness ef the universe jus' like us, creatin' the'eh own contraptions, marvels ef literacheh, structchehs worthy teh be called mastehpieces, workin' tehgetheh teh construct somethin' truly worthy livin' 'n' dyin' fer – eh universe at peace. Eh universe whe'eh everyone can become whateveh they want, fightin' fer what they believe, stayin' true teh the'eh friends 'n' families, buildin' off each othe'eh teh create a yehtopia, eh world whe'eh dreams come true …"

"Dreams, huh?"

"Yeh," slowly, the engineer lowered his arms and head with a sad look on his face, "whe'eh all dreams come true …"

"Is something wrong?"

"… whe'eh dreams come true …"

"Wheeljack!"

"Hah? Wha'? Oh! Wha'?"

"Is something wrong?"

"Oh, eh, jus', um, remembehred that, um eh …"

"Yes?"

"… well, eh …"

"Wheeljack," Ratchet said softly as he gently grabbed one of the engineer's hands, "is something bothering you?"

"Eh, well, yeah."

"Care to tell me what it is?"

"Eh, well, I got a confession teh make …"

"Oh?" The medic's heart began pumping faster and faster as a weird chill ran up and down his backstruts. "Wh-wh-what is it?"

"Well, eh, damn, afteh all these yea'ehs it's still hard …"

"Hey, you don't have to say anything …"

"Yeah but I've been keepin' it fer far too long …"

"… if you are not comfortable telling me, Wheeljack, take your time, I am not going anywhere …"

"Nah, I gotta say it …"

"All right, will it put you at ease if I told you something first?"

"Eh, huh?"

"Well, I, um," Ratchet shied his gaze away, intensely blushing, "I got to make a confession to make too."

"Eh, yeh shu'eh?"

"Yes! I am sure!"

"Yeh don' have teh, yeh know …"

"I know but I don't think I will get any better chance than this any time soon."

"Ratchet? Yer scarin' me …"

"Oh! No, no! It's a good thing … I hope …"

"… uh-huh …"

"Well, the thing is, um, I, eh …"

"Take yer time."

"Oh, slag! How do I say it? Do I say it straight out? Do I make a speech of some sort? Why didn't I think about this before?" The poor guy began freaking out, his cooling fans working beyond their capacity, engine quickly overheating as he began sweating and losing his breath. "What the frag do I do? WHAT THE FRAG DO I DO?"

"… I, eh, uhm, uhhhhh …"

"Dude, the'eh's smoke comin' out of yer helmet …"

"I will just come out and say it and then I will get shot down, or maybe not and we will have kids oh! We should have five kids and we will be happy and live forever together and ever and together and -holy scrap, I can't stop thinking about it. We are gonna be so happy! But, what if he rejects me. Oh god oh god oh god- hey what if I make part organic transformers that can transform into beasts, no wait that is retarded. Oh god, I will be sad, oh Cybertron I think I will kill myself- no, wait; that will be stupid but I did have a crush on him for like six years and like, oh my god, what if he rejects me! Our friendship will be ruined and it will get all awkward with everything and everyone. Oh god how will I show my face at school again? Oh god, he will reject me and I will spend my whole life all alone living with Ironhide and Chromia or maybe mom and dad- oh Cybertron, at least I have them. Holy slagging Cybetron, I love my parents! Mom, dad, I will always be a good boy. I am thankful for everything you did for me, I will never disobey you again- WAIT, WHAT THE FRAG AM I THINKING? Wheeljack loved the tuxedo and put on the flower and hugged me- OH MY GOD WE WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND HE WILL MARRY ME AND WE WILL HAVE KIDS AND HE WILL FRAG ME SENSELESS AND OH GOD I LOVE HIM I CAN DROWN IN THOSE OPTICS! AHH, I AM MELTING ALREADY …"

"… Wheeljack, would you ever consider …"

"WHEELJACK!" A screechy voice that could belong only to the one and only – Submission Prime. Starscream ran up to the engineer, grabbed him by the hand and began dragging him away. "You think your inventions are better than mine? Let's go settle this now!"

"… dating me …"

"Ratchet!" Shockwave, heavily breathing ran up to the medic, "Starscream is acting most illogically! We must stop him before he does anything rash or hurts someone!"

"Y-y-yes! Let's go …"

"RAAAAATCHEEEET!" an angry voice called out.

"Yes! Ratchet! I really wanted to thank you for pointing me towards this guy …"

"Prowl? Bluestreak?"

"Why … WHY … just … WHY?"

"Greetings, Prowl."

"Shockwave …"

"I am sensing awkwardness here, is anybody else sensing awkwardness here or is it just me? No, I am pretty sure everybody else senses it. Oh, dear this is so awkward …"

"On the rebound, are we, Prowl?"

"Ratchet!," the mech turned to his friend, "why did you point this nut job my way?"

"Eh, what?"

"I am not a nut job! I am not a nut or a job which makes me not a nut job but I do like mechstachios …"

"We do not have time for this!," the purple transformer cried out, "Starscream is drunk and he just dragged off Wheeljack to the laboratories! We need to stop them!"

"Oh, now you need my help …"

"Prowl! We don't have time for this!"

"Fine, fine …"

"So you are not Wheeljack?"

"What? No! I am Ratchet!"

"Then who is Wheeljack?"

"… on the rebound with this guy? I am not that desperate …"

"Heeeey! I resent that! Speaking of resenting …"

"Shockwave, can we use your cannon to shut this guy up?"

"Yes, we needed a test subject anyway …"

"… not even if I was drunk …"

"Blam! You are drunk now!"

"Not drunk enough, sweetie …"

"Aw, come on!"

"Nope, sorry, some other time, cowboy …"

"What's a cow?"

"I don't know, I'm drunk!"

"Krak! Fine!" Warpath stepped away from the inadequately inebriated fembot. "Guess I might as well hang out with the guys. Boom! Where are they anyway? Hey, you nerds know where Prowl is?"

"He says his name so easily!"

"He must be a god!"

"… riiiiiiiight … so, you've seen him anywhere? Chapow!"

"He left for the hill with some guy called Bluestreak. His Logicalness was enough to get him away from here."

"Hehe, Prowl, you dog! Way to go! Boom! Thanks fellas! Trawfow!"

It was quite refreshing to get out of the stuffy house, away from whichever morons were playing crappy Guitar Prime. Taking a click to breathe in the much, much cleaner air almost devoid of alcohol and someone smoking something they really shouldn't, he looked at the hill and saw a curious picture: Bluestreak clinging to Prowl while Shockwave was hectically waving his hands and Ratchet in the tuxedo with a very worried look on his face.

"Hm, wonder what that's all about. Grepow!" As Warpath began walking towards his classmates, the four suddenly ran off somewhere and disappeared down the other side. Climbing up the hill to get a closer look, he quickly spotted them and chased after them. "Ok, something is up and it's not just my spike. BOOM! Haha! Why won't anyone date me …?"

Author's Notes:

I again apologize for the size of this chapter, I know it is long but the other chapters are about average size so ... ya!

Took me a little while to come up with some of the scenes in this chapter, like the stuff that happens during the party, for one and two, I had a bit of trouble writing the end to the scene where Ratchet was about to confess to Wheeljack. Other than that, everything was going quite smoothly!

Be kind and leave a review!