Hello again. Time for some back story! Then I shall gift you with the longest chapter I've written yet on this story: the Vocaloid Concert. Coming on chapter 16 :3

Warnings: A lot of swearing, some incest, suicialness, possibly rape, horrible poetry, Yaoi/Yuri, could go anywhere. Smut type scene(s) VERY far in the future, because Roxas needs to turn less emo and get over the past before he'll let Axel fuck him. XD

"Fuck it Roxy! I know you're against make-up, but it's not like you're wearing it everyday, it's just for Halloween. I'm not trying to turn you into a drag queen or Jeffree Star groupie or anything…"

*~*IXI*~*IXI*~*

(Roxas' POV)

Mother fucking Gods, Axel, why do you do this to me? I'm sitting up in my room, nearly hyperventilating. I asked him for a couple of minutes to prepare myself, but it's just making it worse. God damn it, I know I'm not supposed to, but I need my razor or knife… I tear apart my room, searching frantically for them.

There it is! I pull up my sleeve and slash at my arm. I catch the blood on an old t-shirt and rewrap my arm, a sense of peace washing over me. I'm ready.

I take a deep breath and walk down stairs. Axel is lying on the floor, his eyes closed. I sit down beside him take a couple more deep breathes. I examine his face, smiling involuntarily. Why can't I say no to this face, even when those enticing green orbs are hidden?

"I'm ready whenever you are Roxy." I blink, nodding even though the redhead can't see me. Now or never, my story is going to be told. Here it goes…

"I've lived in this house all my life with my mom, dad, and brothers. Mom always was the best, making all kinds of food and everyone was so happy, until my brothers started getting weird on me. The younger, 10 year old one got distant and eventually ran away, devastating Mom and Dad. It hurts losing an older sibling at 8.

"But my other brother…" I pause, holding back tears. "He started by getting me alone and hurting me when Mom and Dad went out or when they left us home during the day. Then he started touching me and asking me to 'play'…" I let out a choked sob, unable to hold it in. Axel looks up at me with concerned eyes. I single tear slides down my cheek

"Axel… he raped me." I whisper, ashamed. "Almost every day for nearly two years. Then one night my parents came home early and caught him. He killed them without though and then tried to kill me too, leaving me for dead. I had a flashback earlier was all." I continue sobbing, curling myself into a tight bad. Soft, strong, warm arms wrap around me, squeezing gently.

"Roxas… thank you for telling me. I'm sorry for what happened." I look up and nod. The redhead squeezes me comfortingly and pets my spikes. I freeze and blush, looking away. I promised myself I'm never love again because everyone who's loved me has left me, one way or another. Who would want me now anyways? I'm tainted. Axel sighs as if reading my mind. I glance away, looking out the window. Wow, it's dark already…

"Axel, I'm going to bed. You're welcome to any of the guest bedrooms on this floor." He nods and releases me, his face unreadable.

'Okay Roxy… sleep well." He grabs his bag and leaves, not giving me another glance. I sigh. Fucking emotions. They always get in the way of things…

I trudge up to my room and slip on pj pants. Oblivion meows at me and I smile lightly, leaning down to scratch between her ears. She leads me into the laundry room where I feed her and give her fresh water. That's when something catches my eyes: The open bathroom door. I shuffle over and flip on the light. On the counter there are some old pill bottles full of old sleep medicine. I shake four of them out and swallow them dry.

As I slip under the covers, Oblivion hops onto my chest and settles in for the night. She purrs loudly as I pet her and I can't help but think how simple it would be to be a cat. Eat, sleep, just be… she probably has no clue how shitty this world is…

I pet her until my hand is too heavy and my vision blurs. Then slowly, the meds pull me into a dark, dreamless sleep.