"Incredulous with mild discomfort; are you suggesting that a turian C-Sec officer left the Citadel in the purs-purs…to chase Saren and in the process of finding him, he became enamored with a quarian Engineer on board the Normandy?"

"That's not the point. Tali's gone, that's what I'm saying. And Garrus? Well, I'll get back to Garrus. Hey, Barkeep! Freshen the elcor's drink. See Derby, Tali wasn't the only crew member we lost after Saren died. She wasn't even the first."

*~~*~~*
CITADEL- EMBASSIES
ELEVEN DAYS AGO
*~~*~~*

"I'm not sure I understand, Lieutenant. You're one of the Alliance's strongest leading figures. You've given hope to people when all hope was thought lost. We need you. The people of the Citadel need you, as a staple of the restoration project. And as a beacon of hope. Isn't there some other way we can help you?"

Kaidan Alenko sat in the chair opposite his former commander and current council representative, David Anderson. Anderson was sincere at this moment, as he had been for the most part since Kaidan had met him. But there was a sense of urgency and demand in the black man's eyes that Kaidan had rarely ever seen before.

Behind Anderson, leaning against a stone column, flame red hair and strong figure framed by the bright blue skylight of the Citadel, Alice Shepard had her arms crossed, watching Kaidan in complete silence.

Her eyes had never left his since he'd sat down and stated his case. Not once.

"I-I'm sorry, Councilor. It's just; too much has happened. Forgive me, sir, but everything that's gone down around me since we dropped onto Eden Prime…" Kaidan took a shaky breath, running his hands over his face, over his eyes. He was sweating. "-it's all just been fucked, sir. Total 'fubar'."

Anderson stood, palms flat on his embassy desk. He stared down at Kaidan, speaking softly, but firmly. "That's the job, son. You don't just have to have the talent to do what needs to be done, you have to grow the backbone to carry the weight of what you've seen."

From the back, Shepard coughed.

Anderson stopped, turned to her.

Their eyes met and she shook her head.

Anderson sighed, walking away from his desk, one hand in his pocket. "Look, Lieutenant, I'm not going to deny your request. I know you have the backbone and the skill, I'm not trying to call that into question. I'm just trying to let you know, poorly I guess, that without people like you, humanity wouldn't have a seat on the Citadel council right now. We wouldn't have made it beyond Earth. It's people like you, who are willing to risk everything they've got so humanity can see another day, that show the galaxy the best of what we can do."

Kaidan waited a second, nodded mechanically and stood. "I'll be back, Councilor. I just need this time to recuperate, that's all."

Anderson frowned, but said nothing in return.

Kaidan stood in front of the chair a few seconds more, then nodded to Alice, "Commander," and took his leave.

Once the door was shut, David stepped up to the window next to Shepard. He stared out at the ruins of the Citadel, the masses of people working as one to repair what Sovereign and the Geth had done.

"That went well," he said.

"Did it?"

"Everything except for that last bit. I didn't appreciate that."

Shepard nodded, moved for the door. "No, sir. No one appreciates being lied to."

Before he could respond, the automatic door had already closed behind her.

Alice caught up with Kaidan several moments later, wandering through the embassy halls.

"What the hell was that?"

Kaidan turned to her, surprised. "He wasn't going to change my mind, Commander, you should've known that."

"I don't give a damn about whether or not you take extended leave, Kaidan, neither does Anderson; don't pretend like that's what this is about!"

"Well then, please Commander, fill me in," Kaidan said condescendingly, "what's the problem?"

"Did you think we wouldn't find out about your voluntary trip to the psyche department yesterday, about the forms you took? It's the goddamn Citadel, word travels, all right? You ask somebody a simple question and suddenly you find yourself standing there for fifteen minutes while they ramble on about their life story... or someone else's."

Kaidan said nothing.

"I mean, c'mon," Alice pleaded, "post-traumatic stress? Jesus, Kaidan."

Kaidan raised a hand and backed a step away. "Alright, Commander, I get the poin-"

"Would you cut the formalities, already? It's just you and me here-"

"Why?" Kaidan asked suddenly, cutting her off, "so you can lead me on for another few weeks? Didn't get your fill the first time?"

"I have the right to care about you, Kaidan, no matter who I choose to sleep with."

"Well that doesn't work for me," Kaidan said, his voice raising, echoing off of the metallic walls around them, "I didn't put my life on the line for Commander Shepard and her assorted crew of alien mercenaries and techies and shy, stuttering, blue-skinned biotic fucking princesses, okay?"

They stood in the hall, feet away from each other, listening to the last of Kaidan's anger reverberating down the embassy hallway .

Kaidan took a breath and spoke again, softer and broken down. "I did it for Alice Shepard and her sense of right and wrong, her charm and wisdom and the fight in her gut and the scar beneath her eye and the ridiculous black lipstick she never seems to take off."

Alice looked away from him, her hand raising instinctively to her mouth.

"You're not coming back, are you?" She responded. "You're going to bullshit your way through Arkham Station and then sit on Earth for one hundred and twenty days, staring at the vid-screens and thinking about everything that went wrong, and when the leave is up you're going to turn in those PTSD forms and separate from the Alliance."

Kaidan rolled his eyes and turned from her.

"You're going to walk away from everything you've built since Jump Zero, and all over a bruised ego."

"With all due respect, Commander; go to hell." With that, he was gone around a corner.

After several moments of listening to his receding footsteps, Alice managed to gather control of her anger and frustration.

Someone stepped up behind her. "It wouldn't be wise to blame yourself for this, Shepard. He was bound to leave eventually."

"Why can't people understand the concept of a mutual friendship," she asked the krogan.

Wrex gave her a sidelong glance. "Well, if that's what you want to call it. Anyway, the months ahead aren't going to be easy. If people want to jump ship, the door's wide open. Now's probably the time to do it."

Alice let out a small, humorless chuckle. "That's cruel, Wrex."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

Alice glanced around suddenly. "Is it just you here?"

Wrex rumbled, laughing. "She's in the Wards with the lady doctor. She didn't hear anything he said, no matter how loud he was."

"Good."

"C'mon, Shepard, I'll buy you a drink."

She turned with him, and they started to walk in the direction of the embassy lounge. "If I say yes, are you going to expect me to sleep with you?"

"Spectre, you got a nice backside, but you're two hundred pounds too light and the wrong species. I just expect you to keep me well-armed, well-paid and surrounded by the promise of a violent death."

"I think that's a fair trade, Wrex."