AN:I'm just gonna go ahead and start with the usual excuses: My grades have really required attention lately and Hannah's just been a lazy bum, so (as usual) this is pretty late.
BUT WE'RE BACK WITH WHAT WE THINK IS THE ONE OF THE BEST CHAPTERS YET. We really hope this makes up for our unofficial Hiatus (we definitely think so!) and we hope you guys laugh as hard as we did while writing. And surprise - Albert's first (and probably last) appearance!
And just a note: we've gone back and given names to all of the chapters, just so that it's easier to find chapters if you feel like re-reading or looking for something, because I know I have trouble with that when I re-read.
The next chapter will be related to this one and most likely a little on the short side since it's a continuation.
And a warning: We are making a bit of a joke about the GONE fanfiction archive here so if you're a DrakexOC author, don't be offended or anything. It's all in good fun :)
Read on you lovely Fayzians, and thank so much for sticking with Hannah and I for all of this time despite our awful posting~
-Neddy
Oh, PS: We don't own Aly and AJ okay.
The gang sat on the carpeted floor, staring in awe at the recently installed giant fish tank that was Quinn's new and improved bedroom wall.
"... That's Mudkip, Corsola, and last but not least, Feebas," Quinn grinned as he pointed to a rather ugly looking dark yellow fish.
"... I can't believe you actually did this." Drake muttered, sliding a palm down his face.
"Well, why not?" Quinn smiled and rejoined the circle of friends on the ground just as Kira was digging her laptop out of her backpack and plugging it in to a nearby outlet.
"What do you think happens if you google Fayz Five?" she questioned aloud.
The others looked at each other.
"I've never thought about that." Sam shrugged.
"Probably just ads from where we've played and stuff," Caine added.
Drake moved away from Quinn. "I did it once when we first started up," he said. "Just a bunch of clubs advertising when we were playing there. Nothing good."
"Check again!" Quinn said enthusiastically. "I want to know if our campaign to find Nemo has gone viral yet."
Diana raised an eyebrow. "Our campaign to what?"
Kira rolled her eyes and opened Google, then punched their name in.
After scrolling through the boring stuff for a bit, her eyes set on a result on a website called "Bandfiction," and she clicked on it.
There were several links on the page, all titled oddly and ranging in rating from K+ to M, although three of them were the latter.
"Hmm..." She clicked on the first one on the page, which was titled 'The One Who Got Away', and read.
The others were paying little to no attention, as they were tossing a small bean bag around the circle and aiming for each others faces.
"WHAT IS THIS," Kira yelled a few minutes later, all but throwing her laptop away from her in disgust.
"What?" Drake asked, taking the computer and placing it in his own lap as his eyes skimmed down the page. For a moment, he looked simply confused, and then his eyes widened. One began twitching.
Astrid snatched it from him, slightly concerned that he was about to break it. "What on earth are you all getting so worked up about?" She stared at the screen, and read:
Sam turned in Drake's thick, protective arms, until their eyes were level. He let out a soft moan of pleasure.
"I love you," Drake gasped breathlessly. "I've always loved you."
Sam's eyes widened. "Drake, I—"
Drake placed a finger on Sam's warm, luscious lips. "No. Don't speak. There's something else I want to tell you." He took a deep breath. "When I wrote 'Jenny,' I wrote it about you. I was just afraid that if you knew…"
He was interrupted as Sam's lips crushed his.
"What the..." Astrid was squinting in confusion at the screen.
"Here, gimme." Sam said, taking the laptop into his own lap and clicking the back button and clicking another story titled 'Chemicals React'
He read aloud:
"You make me feel out of my element
Astrid moaned and let herself go more than she ever had in the past. The usually reserved girl was panting heavily, at a loss for breath and melting in a puddle of pleasure.
Like I'm drifting out to the sea
Like the tide's pullin' me in deeper
Makin' it harder to breathe
The kiss was hungry, there was nothing sweet about it.
We cannot deny, how we feel inside
'More,' she begged, as..."
Sam stopped.
"What?" Caine asked, both in shock and embarrassed for his blonde friend, whose mouth was hanging open in disgust.
"I'm not reading this next part," Sam shook his head and pushed the computer away from him.
"I'LL DO IT!" Quinn cheerfully pulled the computer towards him and picked up where Sam left off:
"... As Kira smirked and let her hand slide down Astrid's—"
" STOP." Everyone but Quinn yelled out, mentally exhausted by the writing.
"WHY DOES THIS EXIST?" Astrid screamed.
"Why is this accompanied by the musical stylings of Aly and AJ?" Drake asked.
"I'm not even in the band, what is this." Kira covered her face in embarrassment
Edilio looked green in the face, and when he tried to glance at Astrid, he ended up blushing so hard that it could be mistaken for a serious medical problem.
Next to him, Diana was nearly choking on hysterical laughter. In between cackles, she said, "Can't you guys, like, sue for this?"
She grabbed the laptop away from Sam and scrolled down a little bit, making sure to avoid any that had her name in it. "What's an 'OC'?"
"Dunno," Sam shrugged. "Click it."
She did, and ended up on a fic that didn't have the flowery adjectives of the stories before. Instead, it was littered with grammatical errors that made it nearly impossible to read. Diana cleared her throat, then read:
"Crystal Princessia tried to find her way around the new school by herself but it was hard and she was lost and so she was walking and she saw a boy and his hair was like the golden light of the stars and his eyes bored into her soul and she said "hi" and he said "hey" and her breathing quickened and his heart started to pound (AN: she could hear it that's how loud it was!) and before Crystal knew it she and the boy who was named Drake slammed each other into the lockers and started making out and Drake whispered her name and she—"
Diana cracked and began laughing too hard to continue reading. She bent over, holding her stomach. Drake made a quick grab for the computer, but Caine reached it first.
"Drake whispered her name and she slid her hand down his pants where she firmly grasped his sturdy manhood and when she did Drake started to-"
Then, Caine lost it as well, gasping for breath through his snickering.
"WE AREN'T READING THESE ANYMORE," Drake exclaimed, making a dramatic grab for the computer, only to have it snatched away by his snickering girlfriend.
"Somehow I think I would be okay with you cheating on me with somebody named Crystal Princessia." She chuckled as she clicked on another story - the final M rated one on the page - and began to read.
"The members of Fayz Five all loved each udder. Sometimes they wondered of they just loved the sex, which was great, but the five of them really did share a bond.
It all started when they all had sex on Sam's thirteenth birthday party. That was the day they all discovered they were really, really gay."
Kira blinked at the screen, and continued reading silently.
"Good lord, who wrote these?" She twitched, closing the explicit story and going back to the main page.
"Check," Diana's voice was muffled, as she was covering her mouth with her hand in attempt to prevent laughter.
Kira's brow creased. "Hey, like, ninety percent of these are written by the same person," she said. "Someone named…" She snorted. "Someone named ' xxx~lil~romeo~xxx'."
Edilio raised an eyebrow. "What does their profile say?"
She clicked it and started scrolling down, but it wasn't an easy task – the page was loaded with inspirational quotes and fandom related quizzes, and phrases such as:
"People who leave flames are just jealous because I'm a great writer!"
Kira smirked.
"'I'm a strong black woman who don't need no man, so I must be ghetto,'" Sam read aloud, peering over her shoulder.
"Who even is this?" Astrid asked, still horrified by the fic she had featured in.
"I think there's a picture down here, hold on." Kira finally reached the bottom of the profile. The author had pasted a photo of himself.
The entire gang jumped back three feet, their eyes wide with shock.
"Is that…is that Albert?" Edilio asked in disbelief.
It was indeed Albert, a face they all recognized as a student in their grade who excelled in business class and mostly kept to himself.
"If you like my stories, you'll like my blog," Caine said, reading over Kira's other shoulder
They were silent for a moment, none of them sure if they wanted to see this website or not, but eventually, Diana spoke up
"Click it."
Kira did, and was greeted by a "Fuck Yeah Fayz Five" banner across the top of the page.
They scrolled for a bit, and found a few majorly creepy pictures and videos and gifs of the eight of them at school. There was a video of them sitting on the courtyard, being their usual selves and being idiots, followed by a picture of Kira and Astrid smiling at each other (this one had over three hundred notes and a lot of comments that read "Why doesnt my school have girls like this?" or "Why are lesbians always hot?")
None of them really knew how to respond to any of these images. Upon more scrolling, they encountered a gif of Diana fixing her bra in her history class, a picture of Drake checking himself out in the boys bathroom mirror with someone (who appeared to be Orc, judging by his size) using the urinals behind him, and a poorly photoshopped image of Drake and Sam kissing with a caption that read: "Thanks for the edit, Jack!"
"This is beyond creepy." Kira muttered after scrolling through a few more pages of embarrassing pictures of them all.
"Uh, Kira... is that you changing in the locker rooms...?" Diana asked, mouth agape at the lack of respect displayed by this website.
Kira flailed a bit and quickly shut the laptop (but not before everyone else saw), and screamed, "THAT'S ENOUGH."
"That was a nice, uh, angle," Sam said, still staring at the space where the laptop screen – and Kira's picture – had been.
"We can't just let him keep doing this," Astrid said in a huff. "We should report it to school officials, or the police."
"You really want them to see some of the things on there?" Edilio asked skeptically. He threw a glance at Quinn, who was too busy playing hide-and-seek with the fish in his wall to pay them any attention.
"At least there are no pictures of us while we're at home," Caine said.
Diana looked at him. "Yet," she responded eerily.
Drake was deep in thought. "You know," he said, "it's creepy as hell, but it's also pretty good publicity. I mean, a band with hot lesbians as their main groupies? Who wouldn't check us out?"
His remark was met by a thump on the back of the head from Kira.
"That would be true, if it weren't for the fact that his... er... main fanbase is most likely a group of people who're already familiar with you guys," Astrid corrected. "None of this is beneficial propaganda."
"You know what, let's just try to forget this all happened you guys." Edilio chimed in. "It's getting late and we have an autograph signing tomorrow and we need our energy."
"Right." Caine nodded in agreement.
"Yeah guys, go to sleep," Astrid ordered.
"Let's promise to never google ourselves again," Drake added, curling up on Quinn's bed and kicking the owner onto the floor as Kira cuddled in near him.
"Good plan," Diana said as she went to go brush her teeth before bed.
"Goodnight guys," Kira murmured before instantly falling asleep by Drake's side.
After a few minutes of silence and Diana's return, little did Astrid and Kira know that all of the boys flipped out their iPhones, set the brightness to low, and continued to read that one story about the two of them.
Little did the boys know that Diana did the same.
Somewhere, a few streets away, a boy sat at his desk, his face bleached blue by the light of his computer.
"And…then…Diana…slipped…her…hand…inside Astrid's bra…and…cradled…her…bosom…" the boy muttered as he typed slowly.
A moment later, he finished. He sat back with a satisfied sigh.
Alone in the dark, Albert smiled.