Chapter 2
The Date with Sam
Fang POV
I can't believe myself. I get ticked off when Max yells at me for kissing Lissa, and I do the exact same thing to her with that Sam guy. I mean, I guess I wasn't as bad as she was. I had comforted her and everything, so she probably didn't hate me that much, but she was definitely not delighted with me. Who was I kidding? The only reason I could comfort her was because she was crying that she could never be with whoever this Sam dude is anyway. "He could be the nicest guy in the world, but it doesn't change anything."
What was I, her favorite bird mutant? Not even. Angel was her favorite. I thought about how I saw Max and Sam practically eating each other's faces. I thought I was going to hit somebody. And then what does she do? She says how sweet he is, how nice of a time she had. And her painfully cheery face practically killed me.
Why couldn't I make her happy? Why couldn't I have kissed her right when she said she saw herself as an Eraser and said she could never be like that? Why couldn't she want that? Oh my god. I'm turning into a mushy little… thing. But still my thoughts traveled to Max comforting Iggy about his blindness. She said she loved him. I knew she meant as a brother, but she'd never said something like that to me. Never. Not once. Not even platonically.
I couldn't have this going on in my head right now. Max was having enough trouble staying strong as it was. She didn't need me looking all wistful and sad. She needed me to keep her strong. Mr. Strong and Silent, that's me. The flock came first. Maybe we could be… something someday when we were all safe and the School was gone. If that dude left the picture. I felt a tinge of regret for every moment I could have been better to Max that I didn't take. Why couldn't I be as good as Sam?
I knew she could tell I was feeling… fine, I'll say it, jealous. Most people wouldn't have been able to hear the pain in my voice or my jaw clenched ever so slightly, but Max would. She would know. Hell, she did know. And she didn't freaking care.
I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts of Max. There was no point whining about it. I had already lost her a long time ago. She wasn't interested. I just needed to be a source of comfort for her. That's all she needed from me.
Max POV
Fang. My Fang. He was so good to me. I knew he felt… Well I didn't know exactly what it was he was feeling, but I knew something was wrong. He seemed so tense when he asked about Sam. But he seemed fine when I told him about the other me and Eraser Max. He seemed perfectly in his element she he told me he would still know me. He seemed fine when he smoothed my hair so kindly and gently. He knew how to keep me strong. He took care of me. I felt a pang of regret every time he did, though.
I never took care of Fang. Sure, I stayed with him at that hospital, but I could've helped him fight Ari. Sure, I kissed him on that beach, but what did he say after that? "Ow." He let me cry on his shoulder and I pushed him into walls. He stroked my hair and told me who I was while I freaking told him how nice my date was.
And the sick thing was I couldn't even tell if it was hurting him. He was so good. He put on a happy face about all of it. I should say he put on an impassive face. God, if Fang put on a happy face every time I hurt him, my entire life would be happier.
My thoughts ventured to every time I saw Fang genuinely smile, not smirk. Ever time he smiled, I remember my day brightening significantly. Fang made me so happy. I never gave him anything in return.
Then start now, said someone from the back of my head. It wasn't the Voice. It was me.