Author's note: I know it's short, but I'm doing more of personal insight than real stories, so it has to be short. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I've been busy. All reviews are welcome. Please tell me if you have any particular scenes you want to see me do. I'm basically trying to hit up the most angsty FAX stuff. I kind of want to do a songfic in one of these chapters, so any ideas for that would be great. Otherwise, enjoy!
After the Kiss in the Cave
Fang POV
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Did I honestly think that Max would let me kiss her? I had thought ever since that night she came back from her date with Sam that maybe, just maybe, she would open up a little bit. Maybe she would admit what I'd seen in her eyes for so long. But no.
Max wasn't like that. It didn't matter that she had told me she loved me like I'd been waiting to hear her say forever. It didn't matter that she had kissed me back. She still left.
Max always tried to be too strong for her own good. More than once I had thought of just giving up on her, but I couldn't. She had said she loved me. I love you. I love you. I love you. He couldn't keep it out of his head. And now he was falling apart into some kind of pathetic lovesick puppy. He didn't need this right now. Max needs her soldier, Fang. She doesn't need mad declarations of love.
But maybe someday... I couldn't help but imagine a day where he could kiss Max and she wouldn't be crying or half asleep or flying away. A day where we were safe in each other's arms. But fantasies are for children, I reminded myself. I didn't get to have a fantasy. I got to have reality. Whoop-dee freaking doo. I got bird mutants and Erasers and Itex and plans of world domination. I got death threats and rejection and pain because I wasn't a child. I was a soldier. A strong and silent, dark angel-like soldier. Aw gee. That's what everyone wants to be, isn't it. Not like it matters what I want, I thought bitterly. I punched the cave wall again, despite the pain I had already inflicted on my hand. I cursed loudly and cradled it. When the pain finally ceased I tried to sleep. Max, Max, Max. Why couldn't she just let her heart tell her what to do for just one second? She loved me. I loved her. But it just wasn't enough. These thoughts chased each other around in my mind as I closed my onyx eyes and let the night consume me.