Hey there guyz! Sorry this took a little longer than I thought it would to update because I'm trying to rearange my room and things are getting put... in their proper place... and I tend to forget where that is, so my flash drivey thingy with all the stories on it got lost in it's place and so I just didn't get around to posting.
Anyway! Enough with my excuses. This chapter was a little hard to write because in the original version of chapter three this is where Zim started to get insanly feminen. Unfotunaly most of Dib's reactions are hard to keep they way they are when I'm changing Zim's entire personality around, so from this chapter on more and more things have to be changed and so if I'm late again in updating, I'm sorry, but it's because, you know, I sucked at writing three years ago. (Was it three? I'm too lazy to check.)
Enjoy and review, it's what keeps me going at three in the morning!
Zim lay in bed, examining the ring on his clawed finger. Dib had gone to bed early with a warning that he wouldn't be able to escape, leaving Zim to find his room on his own and he quickly made himself comfortable.
Well, as comfortable as one could be in the enemy's house.
The alien took the ring off and left it on the nightstand before getting up and heading downstairs, unable to make himself go to sleep. Not that he needed sleep, he just liked to because there wasn't much to do at night. When he got to the living room he plopped himself down on the couch and turned the TV on, finding something that would amuse him well enough before looking around.
The house resembled the human's father's house in shape but was much larger and was without the Membrane memorabilia. The walls were mostly painted dark, calming colors like blues and greens and the furniture matched almost too perfectly, seeming to blend in to the surroundings.
On the end table next to the couch were a couple of photos of Dib's family, one of Dib, his father and his sister, one of just his sister, and one of a woman that the alien had never seen before. He picked the photo up and examined it closely, deciding that that must have been Dib's female genetic donor, his mother. She was quite pretty with purple hair, like his sister's, and amber eyes. She was smiling and seemed happy, and Zim found himself wondering why he'd never met her.
Zim lost interest in the photo quickly though, going back to watching TV and setting the photo back down.
Dib came down the stairs at a little after six-thirty, yawning and heading to the kitchen to get something to drink, asking, "What are you doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep," Zim said, curling up at one end of the couch, staring with interest at something someone was selling on TV. "Tell me, does this powdery substance really make your race stronger?"
Dib came into the living room with his glass of milk and watched the infomercial a bit before saying, "Only when you actually exercise."
Zim hummed and nodded, watching a little more before losing interest in the substance and turning to Dib, asking, "Will I meet your female parent?"
"What?" Dib asked, figuring he'd heard the alien wrong.
"Your female genetic donor, will I meet her?" Zim asked.
Dib's calm expression turned to one of hurt and disgust. "You think that's funny?"
"What are you talking about?" Zim asked, offended.
"My mother's dead. You know that!" The human turned to look away. "That's sick of you."
"No, Zim knew nothing of your mother, and why should I?" Zim defended himself, looking aggravated.
Dib folded his arms glancing away. "I just thought you'd figure it out. You've never seen her. It's only logical to think she's either dead or divorced Dad. It's stupid to have thought that all of a sudden she'd be here, just to meet her son's fiancé." Despite how sharp his words were, his face carried a certain lingering hurt to it.
"I never thought about it. I just figured she was away all the time like your father."The alien shrugged before getting up and heading into the kitchen, hoping there was something in there for him to eat.
Dib sighed, looking at the picture of his mother on the end table. He wondered for a moment if he should apologize for jumping at Zim like that, but thought better of it and just went back to watching the TV, taking the remote and trying to find a channel that was actually playing something other than infomercials at almost seven in the morning.
When the silence got too much for them Dib looked up from the TV and called to the alien rummaging through his kitchen. "You should go pick out an outfit to wear to meet my father."
"Why?" Zim asked, finally finding some bread and toasting it. "When do I 'meet' him?"
"Tonight," Dib replied. "We're meeting him at a fancy restaurant for dinner."
Zim felt his squeedily-spooch go cold.
"Tonight?"
"Yeah," Dib said. "I called him last night, I told you it would be today." He then paused before asking, "You're not worried are you?"
"No, of course not." Zim said smugly, glaring at Dib. This was just Professor Membrane after all. This was just the man who was described as the person without whom the planet would fall into chaos. Why should he, a member of an alien species be worried?
"Good, then let's go pick something out." Dib said, getting up and giving a stretch before heading up the stairs, motioning Zim to follow, which he did.
Once in Zim's room the alien pulled all the clothes out of the shopping bags, laying them out over the bed and giving them a good look over. Something for a fancy restaurant, right?
"The black slacks would probably be best, so just find an outfit around that." Dib said, pointing to a pair of the nice black pants.
"Like what?" Zim asked, raising a nonexistent brow at Dib.
"Whatever you like most. That's the whole point of getting dressed, it's what you like and feel like for that day." Dib said, lazily putting his arms behind his head.
Zim scowled and gave a distressed sound. He'd worn one outfit almost his whole life, how was he supposed to choose from such a huge variety?
After a few minutes of Zim just standing there and staring at all the clothes Dib finally took mercy on the alien and picked up a long sleeved, pink shirt and handed it to Zim, "Here, this shirt comes off the shoulders a bit, and Dad would probably appreciate the show."
Zim looked at the shirt before saying, "Okay."He then put the item down and began to remove his clothes, not feeling at all modest.
Dib just stood there, watching a moment before blushing upon realization that Zim was suddenly half naked. Quickly he left the room, closing the door behind him, deciding he had better get dressed as well.
Zim didn't even seem to notice Dib's behavior, pulling the clothes on that the human had picked out for him, along with the wig, and his contacts. When he was done he hummed, shirt clinging to him tightly, the neckline nice and wide and indeed, showing a lot of skin.
Next to be replaced were his gloves, then the ring, Zim flexing his fingers to make sure everything was securely in its place before leaving his room to look for Dib.
Once Dib was dressed, his own black slacks a little baggy and hanging off of him slightly, and a black dress shirt with paint splatter on it to give him that, "edgy millionaire" look, he too left to look for Zim, pausing when he noticed the alien in his new clothes.
"Z-Z-Zim?" Dib asked, unable to keep his voice even from the amount of shock that hit him. "You-you look-…." The human paused again, wanting to pick his words carefully. Finally he composed himself enough to say, "You look acceptable."
Zim narrowed an eye at Dib, unsure if he should be flattered or not before holding out his hands, which held various accessories and make-ups, saying, "I don't know how to put your human face paint on."
"If.. you want, I could TRY to help you put some on.. But I'm a guy... so I don't really know either." Dib mumbled lightly, looking down at the contents of Zim's hands.
Zim just rolled his eyes and together they retreated for the bathroom, going through all the makeup and throwing away what they couldn't use, like mascara and foundation. Once that was out of the way they set to work painting Zim's face, first fluffing blush on his cheeks, the carefully administering the eyeliner and eye shadows, followed by some lip gloss, not bothering with lipstick, as that would just make Zim look too painted, what with his green skin.
"You probably don't need too much jewelry," Dib said, looking at all the bits and pieces they'd gotten. "This should do it," He picked out a necklace from the pile of chains and beads, unclasping it and motioning for Zim to move the hair of his wig, which he did.
Dib moved his arms around Zim's neck, clasping the necklace around it so it hung just below his collar bone.
Zim jumped when he felt human fingers touch the back of his neck and quickly glared at the human, saying, "I hope you washed your hands," quickly before getting up and adding, "I'm going to go get my toast." He then left the backroom, Dib hearing the alien boots stomping down the steps and he frowned.
That was weird.
With a shrug he went to go get his own shoes and finish getting himself ready.
Zim caught a look of himself in the full length mirror in the living room, stopping to turn this way and that. He really did pull off the female thing well, he decided. He should have tried disguising himself as one a long time ago.
Dib came down the stairs, boots clunking with each step and he looked over at Zim.
"Vain, much?" He asked and strolled over to the alien getting a good look of himself as well.
"I've been hanging around you too much." Zim replied, brushing back a little hair out of his face.
"If that was the case, you'd be good looking." Dib retorted, his own ego making an entrance.
Zim turned to glare at Dib, sticking his tongue out.
Dib smirked, finding victory in this. "Oh! How are your injuries, anyway?" Dib asked, now turning to peak down Zim's shirt.
"They are fine." Zim said, lifting his shirt up. "Most of them are healed, only the ones that got water in them are still sore."
Dib smiled and almost touched one of the scars but decided against that. "I'm getting better." He said, feeling proud of the marks he had left on his soon-to-be-bride, unaware of how wrong that was.
"You'd like to think that wouldn't you." Zim said, giving Dib a smirk before lightly, almost affectionately, running a hand over the claw marks on Dib's face.
Dib's face grew hot and his eyes widen, taking hesitant step away from Zim.
"W-what was that?"
"Just admiring my handiwork." Zim said, still smirking. He vaguely wondered why Dib got so nervous, but pushed the thought away, not really caring, just liking the reaction.
It took Dib a moment to realize what the irken was talking about before he put ha hand to his face, feeling the deep scratch-marks those cursed claws left him with. He had focused so hard on Zim last night that he forgot to fix up his own wounds. He glared at a wall, hand still on his face. "You have an unfair advantage over me, though. You got yours cleaned and fixed."
"That and your human body is so slow to heal." Zim said as if agreeing. "But it doesn't change the fact that those will last quite a while, while mine will be healed with in the week."
Dib groaned in annoyance, how did Zim turn things around on him so quickly?
"It doesn't matter, let's just focus on our act. We meet up with Dad around six." The humans said, eager for a subject change.
"Yes, how are we going to go about that, anyway?" Zim asked, crossing his arms. "You said a lot of touching wouldn't be required, but won't your dad expect more than holding hands since we're engaged?"
"Just some hugging, maybe a peck on the cheek at the most." Dib said with a shrug. "That's not a whole lot."
Zim scowled. "That's a lot more than not a lot." He then thought about that statement a moment before deciding that didn't work and rephrased, "That's more than I excepted based on your original estimate."
Dib rolled his eyes. "Come on, you watch enough TV, we can do this, just do like the characters on those TV shows do." The human then opened his arms some and hesitantly stepped up to put them around the other in a very guy-hugging-his-best-guy-friend kind of way.
Zim hesitantly did the same, careful not to lean into the hug lest Dib get the wrong idea. It was awkward.
"Uh… I don't think this is working, Zim."
The two didn't pull back though, instead trying to shift so it looked less awkward, ending with Zim's cheek resting on Dib's chest and arms loosened around the human's hips, while Dib's chin rested on top of the alien head, his own arms around the girly waste.
After only a moment of this they pushed away.
"Too much of that shouldn't be necessary." Dib said quickly, trying to rub the blush from his cheeks.
"Good," Zim said, brushing his arms as though that would get rid of the human's germs.
"Kissing though…." Dib said, but trailed off when Zim gave him a horrified look.
"Maybe we should focus on interacting with each other for now." The alien said, holding his hands up like a shield.
"Well, I can call you Zimma… That sounds kind of girlish… I could also call you 'Hun', 'dear', 'sugar bunny', or variety of other names. What would you call me?" Dib asked, waiting to hear things he'd have to deny or approve.
"Don't call me sugar bunny and I won't call you 'insane pig-smelly." Zim said, looking unimpressed over all at the pet names. "How about I just call you, Dib? If I need to think up a cutesy nickname later then I will."
"Whatever," Dib said, rolling his eyes. "Now about kissing…." Again, the response he got from Zim was not instilling him with any confidence. "Don't worry, we will NOT be sucking face, but a peck or two on the cheek or lips might be needed."
Zim stuck his tongue out in disgust, to which Dib frowned.
"What are you complaining for?" He asked the alien. "You have lip gloss on to protect your lips. I don't."
"Ugh," Zim grimaced but nodded, asking, "So, what, we just do it?"
"Yeah," Dib said, not sounding quite as confident as he had moments before. Still, he took Zim by the shoulders, steadying the irken as he leaned forward, eyes squeezed shut and quickly pecking Zim on the lips.
Zim did his best not to flinch back, pursing his lips as much as he could.
When the human pulled back Zim had to turn his face away, sticking his tongue out in a show of disgust. "I don't think we're going to survive this!"
"What, are you weakening Zim?" Dib asked, rubbing residual lip gloss from his own mouth, hoping this little show of confidence would cover up his own disgust and give Zim enough kick in the pants to grin and bear it. "I thought you were some advanced alien species or something. Was I wrong?"
"I am!" Zim argue, standing up and doing his best to loom over Dib. "And don't you forget it, stink-beast!"
"How could I?" Dib asked, smirking and standing to remind Zim of who was REALLY taller here.
"Now, how about for lunch we go out?" The human asked, looking at the door. "That way we can practice pretending we like each other in public."
"Whatever," Zim said, rolling his eyes and pouting. Damn, tall humans.
Quick poll. Would you want to see the other two stories in this series rewritten? Why or why not?