I love writing poorly yet purposely. It's the highest form of catharsis. Doesn't that sound serious? Lol.

Artemis lifted the mysterious meat to her mouth, basking in its smell. It reminded her of her mother's famous roast.

"Mmm…nothing like Mary Sue for breakfast."

The blonde returned the fork to her plate, picking up more of the meat decorated with shards of bones. Artemis had not expected prison food to be so...five-star and delectable. As she swallowed Cooked!Sue, Artemis could almost feel her skin becoming revitalized. Eating Mary Sues made her irresistible; all the other girls would be jealous of her looks now. The blonde almost felt like adding ten last names onto her own name, but chocked it up to the euphoria of her meal.

"Arty, stop with the boring inner monologues," Cheshire flicked some of her food at Artemis' face. "We're scheduled for an epic fight today. Oh, there's a new girl here."

All of the women in the cafeteria stopped eating, watching the new girl stroll past the tables towards the lunch line. The new girl sashayed past them even more intensely than Artemis' entrance into the prison, making the archer feel inadequate in comparison.

"Wasn't I the new girl like five minutes ago?"

"Just shut up and let us stare!" Cheshire hollered, stabbing Artemis with a plastic spork. The plastic broke off into shards in her hand, but Artemis returned to gawking at the new girl, too busy to care as blood oozed up form her wounds.

"Teekl?" Megan shout out, waving her hands, for she was unsure if she had guessed the new girl's name correctly.

"Yes. I'm a woman now!" The former cat drawled as she placed grasped her hips with her hands.

"Don't you mean 'I'm a human now'?"

"I was always human. I just got a traditional back-alley magical sex-change before being arrested." Teekl rolled her red eyes and did a little shimmy, causing Miss Martian to drool even more than when she had spied on Kaldur and Conner...and plotted to kill them.

Megan launched her arms into hugging Teekl reassuringly, but the rest of the table noticed her possessive, amorous intentions. There was way too much passion in their embrace…

Artemis finally picked the plastic shards out of her hand, throwing them like ninja-stars at Cheshire's head. Before Jade could retaliate, Black Canary waddled into the cafeteria.

"Look…it's Black Canary!" Megan gasped before returning to rip off Teekl's clothes.

"Oh yeah. I'm scared!" Teekl's human mouth shrieked but began purring at Megan traced her neck in tender kisses.

"What's with Black Canary anyway?" Artemis turned towards the warden, who appeared as a giant bird thundering through the cafeterta. Several tables and people were trampled by the bird's weight, but nothing out of the norm was happening.

"She's cursed, Artemis," Jade picked the plastic shards out of her head, "She's cursed with…heterosexuality!"

A resonating gasp could be heard throughout the cafeteria – how could a straight woman exist among them? Several of the prisoners inched away from the bird monster, afraid of being contaminated by her preference for men. Canary's sharply pointed beak might change them...

"But wasn't I supposed to flirt with her? Some plan, Jade."

"Let me continue…only a kiss from her true love can break the curse and turn her back into a sexy dominatrix lesbian. Fishnets and all."

"I'm her true love?" Artemis gulped, her eyes widening for perhaps the tenth time during their meal. The cameras quickly zoomed in on her, so she did a complimentary hair flip.

"Yes, Artemis. One kiss on her beak can cure her – unless she doesn't peck you to death first or regurgitate you so her young can eat."

"She has children now?"

"Artemis, get with the story and stop doing hair flips!" Jade flipped her hair even more dramatically than Artemis before resting her hand across her chest in an alluring model-like pose.

"Okay…so I have to kiss her?"

"Yes, preferably in the next chapter so we can steal the keys that are stitched into her body. She's like the gatekeeper from Oblivion – hey, I know what that is."

"Where's Wally anyway?"

Teekl finally broke apart from Megan, panting, "Wally's got a conjugal visit."

"With who?" Megan whispered as she began nibbling Teekl's ear.

"Let's all just go and watch," Jade beemed, before launching herself into another catfight with Artemis. As the two girls rolled around on the floor and stabbed each other with plastic forks and spoons, Megan and Teekl returned to making out. Black Canary squaked in the background, diving into a nearby table as her beak grasped Wonder Girl.

"No wonder she hasn't appeared on the show yet," Artemis declared, but no one around her responded, so she returned to kicking Jade's ribcage. Eventually, the two women would look past their confines of their roles as sisters and unleash the budding tension between themselves...

Wonder Girl was slowly and painfully eaten, causing the cafeteria to resonate with her screams...well, that would have been heard if Teekl hadn't been putting on a show for all the other girls by causing the Martian beneath her to moan.

Unbeknownst to the Young Justice rejects and even the writer behind their crack-fic, a mysterious figure spied on the girls as they partied and made out throughout their day. Her frail body was draped in a tattered grey cloak, but the girl ignored the severe contrast between her clothing and that of the prisoners; she also ignored the designer logos on her stereotypical, knock-off witch attire.

Only one girl in the prison knew her identity and that prisoner was distracted by the smothering yet intoxicating kisses of Teekl...

Megan' childhood imaginary friend, made real through the unconscious power of the Martian's telepathy, had returned to kill her maker...and share a heated kiss with current redhead with her.

Wally West stirred by her side, trailing her backside with kisses and bites. Little did Wally know (or little did anyone care), that Megan's imaginary friend was actually a man, who had been sent to stop the girls from escaping...or something dramatic.

"Your skin is so soft..." Wally moaned against the imaginary friend's skin, not noticing that his kisses had began sucking the being's form like a spectre into his mouth. Suddenly, the rest of the imaginary friend's body flowed through Wally's pores, quickly overwhelming and possessing the speedster.

"Your body," he began speaking through Wally's mouth, yet in a higher, more feminine tone. "Just feels...so good!"

AN: I really hope that Cooked!Sue is a trope. Anyway, a human Teekl is an homage to the fic "Stephanie Brown's College Edition Guide to Wizards" by Epic Mickeygirl.

Can the curse on Black Canary ever be broken? Will Artemis find true love?