Accidentally In Love
4
Friday May 4, 2012
Santana sat back in her chair and folded up her binder, ignoring the remainder of her AP chemistry lecture. She glanced to the side, where Quinn was furiously scribbling down notes from the whiteboard, and knew the girl would undoubtedly share her lecture notes. All week, she had been riding high on the Cheerios' win at the Daytona International open. Her eyes narrowed, as she eyed the bright orange bandana Quinn had used to pull her hair back. The was simply more to life than chemistry when zombies roamed the hallways.
Okay. Maybe we should rewind just a little bit.
Principal Figgins, in a stroke of genius after a leadership seminar, started an epic week-long game of Humans vs. Zombies. School sanctioned, of course. Supposedly, it would create a community spirit and allow the kids an outlet for non-violent violence. Plus, you know... zombies. 253 students signed up and were given a pamphlet explaining the rules, but everyone was mostly concerned with the safe zones in what was essentially a giant game of tag. Locker rooms, classrooms, bathrooms, the cafeteria and the mandatory pep rally congratulating the cheer squad on their win in Florida the past week.
He'd even come up with a totally implausible scenario, where the original zombie (Patient Zero he called it) was infected through a diseased animal they were dissecting in the biology lab. Unfortunately, Patient Zero was allowed special powers, the most important being that he or she was not required to wear an identifying orange bandana. Zero didn't require a 'kill' every 48 hours in order to remain alive, and was allowed to run in order to chase down victims. The original zombie also benefitted from special power-ups, if he could maintain a 12 kill per day quota. On Tuesday, he'd be able to run. On Wednesday, he could use weapons like a nerf sword or bat, to extend the zombie kill zone. Thursday, the OZ would be able to command the other zombies and use tactics agains the remaining humans. Lasting until Friday would give him the ability to break the safe zones, able to attack everywhere except classrooms - and only while they were in session.
Patient Zero also was not identified at the beginning of the game, and none of the zombie crew were fucking talking about it. Well, if that wasn't just peachy.
So here Santana sat, trying to wait out the bell and face the horde of zombified students waiting for her in the hallways. She grinned, being one of the few humans left, along with Mike Chang and Noah Puckerman. They'd lost Brittany Thursday after Cheerios practice in an epic gun battle against the horde, but was saved by Sam, Puck, Quinn and Mike after running out of ammo. Although, Sam had sacrificed himself to ensure the safety of the other four. Apparently, someone had gotten to Quinn after lunchtime. It was honestly incredible she'd lasted the whole week, considering she was still stuck in the wheelchair, but the Asian Fusion had decided she was worth protecting and vowed to watch out for her. Tina had only lasted until Wednesday when she'd been cornered by Suzy Pepper on the way to her car.
It had surprised everyone in the glee club to see how into the game Santana had been. She'd bragged about purchasing two automated Nerf Barricade RV-10 pistols and doing some sort of custom voltage modification to increase firing speed and distance, as well as a trigger-based on switch. However, they were only her sidearms, backup to the crowning piece of her Nerf firearms collection. She'd hit the internet hard to research the game and find the most coveted Humans vs Zombies weapon - the Nerf Alpha Trooper CS-18. Ebay provided her with a rush delivery of a heavily modded Alpha Trooper with reinforced internal parts, removal of all locks and air restrictors, and two additional drum magazines for 54 shots total. She may have also cheated by placing a BB at the head of each dart to make them track better. But no one needed to know that.
Though, it had proven nothing next to the ingenuity of Mike Chang Jr., who used his secret ninja arts and acquired 2 Nerf Magstrike submachine guns, modifying them to run on CO2 tanks (instead of the pneumatic hand pump), a rapid/single fire mode, and extended 20 round magazines, along with 4 extra extended mags with a quick reload system like that chick from the Tomb Raider movie and 2 regular 10 round mags down by his ankles - as backup. That armed Mike with a horrifying 120 rounds, and the ability to discharge them all in under 1 minute, if need be. Not to mention a custom HALO-inspired paint job for everything. Puck, Finn, Sam and Artie had been incredibly jealous as they showed up to school Monday morning with plain Nerf Raider Rapid Fire CS-35 rifles. It was all they could do to keep Puck from stealing even more Nerf pistols and becoming The Man With Seven Guns.
Rachel had said nothing for or against the game and had been the only glee club member to not have donned the signature orange bandana of the HvZ players. Santana had been thankful there were no protest against everyone's secretly 'violent' and chaotic behavior, but it was a serious drag seeing her as the only one of her friends left out of the game.
No matter. The bell rung, signaling the end of class, so Santana slung her bag over her shoulders and grabbed her Alpha trooper. She tilted her head at Mike, who nodded, already unholstering his twin Magstrikes. There were just so many.
On the first day, there had been 12 quiet zombifications. By the end of Tuesday, 38. But Thursday morning, as Santana found out when she and Brittany pulled into the school parking lot, there were 136 zombies awaiting them. Friday morning, there had only been 5 humans confirmed remaining. Haylee Roderick had been captured on the way to lunch, chased down by the combined might of the cheerleading varsity and JV squads, and eventually trapped with Patient Zero in the Cheerios' locker room.
Had been turned sometime between lunch and the last class of the day they'd shared together - AP Chemistry. Despite all her badgering, Quinn had been tight lipped on the original zombie's identity. It was infuriating.
Now, as she and Mike escorted one another out of class, a familiar voice sang the war cry of, "Eat it bitches!" A few seconds later, Puck ran by them, chased by approximately 50 students in an attempt to escape the school grounds. They looked at one another, blocking the doorway out of the classroom and knew more would be following.
They run after him anyways.
"Nude Erections Unite!" Mike cries out, and more than half the crowd turns towards them. It's enough of a distraction and, between the three of them, they mow down their zombified classmates in less than 20 seconds.
"Nice Mikey," Puck winks at him, and loads a fresh drum full of Nerf darts. Mike grins back to him, simply reloading one magazine with his quick eject system. Fucking show off. "We gotta get the fuck outta here."
Santana chimes in, making sure her own weapon is fully re-equipped. "Never let it be said you never had a good idea."
"I have good ideas!"
"Like jumping off your house using garbage bags as a parachute? Totally brilliant."
"Well, what about..."
"No."
"But the-"
"No!"
Mike nudged Santana's foot, "I think we have company."
The trio look to see Brittany flanked by Hannah and Haylee in their Cheerios outfits leading what looked to be more than 100 of the school's zombie jock population. Fortunately, they've made it to the exit doors, but the remaining group of Humans vs Zombies players are lying in wait just beyond the doors, readying to funnel them away from the parking lot. Mike unleashes two fresh clips and easily fends them off, but that means only two magazines remain - not nearly enough if they can't get to their cars before Brittany's horde reaches them.
They race towards their vehicles and know have a journey ahead of them. The student body had arrived early that morning, using up all they close parking spots as they prepared for the game's final day assault. But, it seems salvation was close at hand, for none other than Rachel Berry was waiting for them, sitting on the hood of her little blue Camaro.
Santana grinned at Rachel, who'd wiggled her finger at them as they closed in. "Fuck, I love this girl."
"Yeah, I wanna fuck her, too."
"Puck!" Santana groaned, frowning at the side of the boy's head. "That's not what I... you know what, never mind."
Rachel leapt down from her perch atop the car's hood, flashing them all with a glimpse of tiny pink panties as the hem of her dress swishes in the air. "It seems you could have used some vehicular assistance. So, the good friend that I am, decided to take it upon myself..." a scowl appeared on Santana's face, so she decided on the Reader's Rigest version. "Anyhoo... I thought you all could use a ride. So get in. I can catch a ride home later."
"Righteous!" Mike extend a bro-fist out to Puck, who rammed his knuckles against his them without hesitation.
"Three winners, bro. We'll be like gods after this."
Santana immediately leaps into the driver's seat, knowing she's likely the most familiar with the car's operation for their quick getaway. She reaches for the ignition, realizing there are no keys. "Berry..."
Gotcha, Rachel mouths at the boys as she grabs onto the orange wristbands they have tied on their wrists. She flips Puck her index card with the information Patient Zero: Rachel Berry -Signed, Principal Figgins, then presses a finger to her lips. "Shh."
Rachel turns on the cheerleader, with a big smile on her face - it's clear she still hasn't clued into what's going on. "Hey Santana. I was wondering if you wanted to come by my house instead of running off with the boys. We could put in some Pretty Little Liars and get our sweet lady kisses on."
"Uh... narp?" Santana gulps, and her Alpha Trooper clatters down into the footwell in the passer's seat. "That... sounds... good."
The cheerleader watches as Rachel stands in front of her, teeth dimpling her lower lip. The songstress plays with the hem of her dress and Santana finds it distracting like nothing else on earth. Rachel's dress rides up her thighs and suddenly 'narp' seems like pretty fucking eloquent conversation at this point.
Rachel shrugs a shoulder and stops fiddling with her dress. "Either that or BRAAAAAIIINNSSSS!"
As Rachel leaps into her lap, Santana still finds herself processing the situation. Santana's hands are momentarily pinned into her lap between her thighs and Rachel spectacularly warm crotch. Kisses are peppered across her forehead and cheeks, so Santana say fuck it, she doesn't care if Puck and Mike are watching - it's not really anything they haven't seen her do before - and shifts her arms around to grab a couple handfuls of ass. Their lips only graze against each other as Santana feels a set of teeth biting against her neck and finds herself compelled to do the same. They should both be sporting wicked hickies come Saturday.
Unfortunately, their fun ends as Rachel leans back, against the steering wheel. She's panting by now, and a sly, but extremely satisfied, smile creep over her lips. "I win."
"Wait... what?"
Santana leans in to kiss her again, but a finger softly presses against her lips. "I win. You three were the last humans, right?"
"Oh, you sneaky little bitch!" Santana huffs, removing her hands from underneaths Rahcel's sundress, and Puck (and Mike, though he'll deny it in the future) swears her can hear a snap of elastic. The guys are only slightly worried about the cheerleading throwing punches and screaming more obscenities, but the worry soon passes as Santana chuckles. "Well, fuck. Good game, Rachel."
"Thank you!" Rachel beams in response, flashing that megawatt smile Santana's come to enjoy these past few months. "You have no idea how difficult it was orchestrating this entire operation. As you know, we have a lot of blabbermouths at this school."
"Like you."
"And Mercedes."
"And Tina."
"Finn, Jewfro..."
"Charlotte Ross."
"Damn bitch," they say simultaneously.
"Well, now that the game is over, I really should be getting home. I've found this portobello mushroom lasagna recipe I've been dying to try out." Rachel braces her hands against Santana's chest, inching lower as she clambers back onto the asphalt. There's a tug on the bottom of her dress before she's able to completely exit the vehicle.
She turns to face the girl, who's brown eyes are dark and glassy in the shadows of the darkened interior. Santana's gaze just burns into her, and Rachel finds it hard to simply not lose herself. Or cream herself. She isn't quite sure at this moment.
"Uh... are we still on for tonight?"