Chapter 2: Hesitation

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Karneval or any of Karneval's characters.

A/N: So I think this chapter is a lot better than the last one, but that's just me. I hope you enjoy! More A/N at the end.

He woke up thirty minutes late the next morning, scrambling out the door for another day of unwanted anxiety.

To his relief, everyday became close to normal. He'd go about his everyday life the same as always, but there was one incessant thing that made his day stressful. It was Yogi. Everyday he'd ask him to go and eat lunch with him. Everyday he'd ask him to eat dinner with him. Each and every time, Akari was right behind, trailing like a lost puppy, and took up Yogi's offer. Each time Yogi agreed to it with a smile.

Idly Gareki wondered what they did after dinner. Did they go back to Yogi's place, or Akari's place? Did they stay at a hotel? Each time he'd tell himself that it wasn't any of his business. The best course of action would be to never have dinner with him and to stay as far away as possible.

Gareki never really had anything to do anymore. The best projects were given to Yogi, who completed the tasks with no problem. Perhaps Akari was right- he just might lose his job. But perhaps there was something else going on? Maybe Yogi was sleeping with Akari to get a promotion. To get Gareki's position. Each time he'd tell himself that it wasn't any of his business, again. To stay out of it was the best idea.

But he couldn't help himself. He'd then think this: Why did Yogi ask him to eat lunch or dinner with him first then? There must have been a different goal in mind. Perhaps Yogi was being taken by force? And so Gareki would feel guilty. He was guilty that he couldn't say yes, and afraid that it was his fault that Yogi hid a mysterious emotion behind a smile, each second of the day.

This kind of mindset continued for a month. Two months. Yogi would continue to ask, in different ways. He'd stick a bright post it to his coffee mug sometimes, with only a couple words.

"Lunch?" or

"Are you game?"

And each time he wouldn't respond, and toss the post-it away while the guy wasn't looking. He must have noticed at one point, because he began to write the same kinds of notes, but on the backs of his documents. He'd get a tax invoice with,

"My treat," on the back. Gareki's nerves were on edge after the fourth week. Didn't any of the girls notice that he was definitely way too pushy? Too pushy to be friendly?

One day, after Yogi and Akari had eaten out the night before, Yogi scooted over on a wheeled chair. Akari was gone that day. Usually Gareki was put as temporary manager in case anyone came directly to the office, but Yogi was put in charge. He was in a foul mood, but tried to not impose it upon anyone.

"Hey, Gareki, are you free tonight?" Yogi had a sly look on his face, as if he was planning something. He was just about to make up an excuse, like his fish needed feeding at home, when the girls popped up over the cubicle. They stared at Gareki and winked. He frowned. What was going on?

"Uhm, no, I've got to feed my fish at home." Gareki was used to lying now, he had practiced a lot up to this point, having been asked almost every single day.

"Your fish isn't going to die in a day, Gareki-san." The girl with auburn hair was hiding a smile with her arm.

"They might." He replied, picking up his things to leave. He didn't even have any fish to begin with.

"Yeah, as well as the cat, the two dogs, the parakeet, the baby elephant, and the panda that you borrowed from your uncle." The girl joked, recounting the multiple excuses that he had that involved animals.

"That's right. They all died." Gareki deadpanned.

"You should go with Yogi! Look, he's always upset that you don't go!" The other girl floundered, pointing at Yogi's face. It was sort of downcast, but he saw a hint of a smirk.

"It's not like he's trying to pick you up." The auburn haired girl looked at Gareki innocently. He grimaced back. What was he supposed to say?

"Fine." He didn't want to seem like a single creep, even though he acted like one. He should have at least been seen as an attractive single creep. The girls hid gasps as they ducked down. He bet they were high-five-ing each other and congratulating one another for their ingenuity. Yogi was almost stunned with surprise.

"So where are we going?" Gareki was walking out the door with Yogi in tow.

"Well actually..." Yogi started walking without answering his question. Gareki followed behind, suspicious about his intentions.

"I was thinking about eating at several places, like a tasting thing." Gareki concluded that it was harmless but unorthodox. He would have thought that after all this time Yogi had somewhere serious he had in mind. He wondered why he even cared. This was the first and the last time he'd eat out with the guy. He was feeling nervous already.

It turned out that the whole street was tasting grounds, so they didn't have to go to many different places. They first ate at a spicy beef soup place, and then had ice cream. Shortly after, sweet and salty rice, and then mango cubes. They talked mostly about what Yogi liked to do. He did fencing, he learned how to fly a plane a few years back, he had a passion for sheep. Not once did he ask about what Gareki liked to do, and he was glad that he didn't. By the end of the long lines of shops, after the lanterns faded away amidst the dark shadows of people, Yogi sighed. His breath came out in puffs because of the cold night air.

"That was really fun, Gareki."

"Thanks for treating me, Yogi-san." He mumbled thanks and began to back away.

"I thought I told you not... to call me that." Gareki was too slow. He let his guard down and suddenly Yogi was close. Close enough for him to feel his soft hair. It was softer than it seemed. Close enough for him to feel his breath on his mouth and his long fingers in his hair. His heat made him gasping for air, yet cling to his broad shoulders. His lips were so soft and kind, but Yogi was not in the mood to play. He was hungry again, in a different way. He was cornered to a wall, his hips ground in a way that made him create sounds that gave away his true feelings. He was delicious, his every plane perfect- but he tried to push him away after their kiss became something ferocious, something that he couldn't ignore.

"Stop-" Gareki put his arm on Yogi's chest, trying to pry himself away from the delectable heat. He honestly didn't know why anymore. His attempts to escape were refused and suppressed by Yogi, who stroked him so gentle and reassuringly.

Soon they were at Gareki's apartment, and Gareki knew exactly what had been going on between Yogi and Akari. This was what happened after each time, right? In this case they quickly passed the moss pots, this time left unappreciated.

"Hey, don't you want to rethink this? Maybe you're making a mistake-" His mouth was again covered by his sweet kisses, convincing him that it was okay.

"Just one fling, okay?" Yogi murmured into his ear, already pulling off his tie. Gareki suddenly understood. He wasn't doing this because of a hidden desire, but only because he wanted to get it out of his system. He was helping Yogi. He let Yogi caress his body, let him kiss him senseless. Yogi ground his hips until he himself couldn't wait any longer.

He was actually decent enough to tell him beforehand. Gareki let him kiss his entirety and drift over his every inch, because for one, he enjoyed it, and two, his stability was already broken. As soon as Yogi kissed him that first time, it was already headed down hill.

The moon began to rise as the night grew older.

A finger was already entering him as he was faced towards the bed. Surprise gripped him as his stomach flipped. How long had it been since the last time he did it? It was too long. Gareki's hands were firmly pulling on the sheets. Another. After a few seconds Yogi removed them and he quickly felt something completely different inside of him. He began to emit strange sounds that he never thought he was capable of.

"You're so... tight." Yogi's voice was low and deep as he thrust in quickly, slamming his prostate after the second or third try. His skin was slick with sweat as a hand began to pump his member. His arm shook as he held onto the edge of the wooden ledge, the entire frame creaking along to a jagged rhythm that increased in speed.

"Ah...! Gareki... you're so.. cute.." Yogi called his name, getting faster as he slammed into his shaking body.

"Nnn... Yogi..." His name slipped out.

"You finally... called me by my name.. hah." Yogi thought about how sexy he was, how the moon shone so perfectly on Gareki's alabaster skin.

The thrusting became rougher and harsher, as he slammed into the sweet spot hard that made Gareki buck his hips again and again. He lost any form of control that held his stability in place over the past few months. Uncontrollable sounds escaped from his mouth as his mind became numb to everything else except his touch. Soon both of them climaxed with inaudible yelling. The clouding of his mind became as clear as the invisible night sky as his muscles relaxed and his body stopped shuddering with the afterglow. Panting, Gareki collapsed with Yogi's body beside him. Yogi was kissing his neck, an arm slid around his waist. The blinds blocked out most of the light from outside. A vent was humming. The blinds flickered to the wind.

They laid there silently for a few minutes. After an hour, when Yogi thought that Gareki was asleep, the arm that was around him moved away as he silently stood and shucked his pants back on. He zipped up his pants and donned his coat. He heard a note being scribbled down before the door to his apartment swung open and close. Gareki debated whether he'd read the note or throw it away. Gareki watched as the moonlight that shown on the floorboards flickered. A car passed by and honked. Gareki remembered why he didn't want this again as he laid on the bed, his blanket providing no warmth. Why he didn't want any of it. The ex had done the same thing. That other time he finished up after the favor and left, shortly afterwards.

As the night faded back to morning, he relived the pain, an entire movie, in his head. His stability, the walls that he spent so much time carving out in an attempt to block out the things that harmed him, were crushed in a single night. Why did he let him? He still remembered his warm lingering touch. The passion he let him feel. The fleeting love that he kept reserved was given accidentally... and he'd never get it back.

In the morning he got up and read the note that Yogi had left on the dresser. He wrote it messily, with a pen on the back of an envelope.

It was fun,

Yogi.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviewing would make me happier than a panda that became the king of the world and enslaved all of the humans to lick it's feet, and then became an intelligent being that chose to live in my backyard so that I could take care of it for the rest of my life. So tired. Thanks!