Note: This is the actual sequel to 'As Bright as the Sun.' So, if you read the chapters in chronological order they would be 2,1,3...and whatever comes after. I'm thinking maybe one or two more parts, which is a lot since this was meant to be a one-off! This part is from Blaine's POV which was surprisingly hard to write since I realized the kid just doesn't like himself very much :/ Anyway, I'm happy with this so I hope you like it, too.
The first date is a disaster.
Kurt picks out a simple little restaurant uptown called Breadstix. It's homey and cute and not too expensive but, their orders get mixed up. Then, Blaine spills his drink all over the table and consequently, onto Kurt. Then, while Kurt is in the bathroom cleaning up, Blaine leans his head against his fist and closes his eyes for one...minute.
He wakes up when Kurt starts shaking his shoulder.
"Oh my, God." Blaine covers his face with his hands. "I'm so sorry."
Kurt sits back down across from him in the booth. "It's okay. No big deal."
"Are you kidding? I just fell asleep on our first date at dinner." Blaine peeks at Kurt from between his fingers, afraid to see a horrified expression on his beautiful face. "Do you hate me? Are you going to dump me?"
"What? No." Kurt looks honestly shocked. "I hate to tell you, but it's going to take more than a little snooze over your linguini to get rid of me."
Blaine lets out the breath that he had been holding and rubs at his eyes again. He knows that Kurt sees being tired as an excuse, but Blaine is always tired. He's spent the last few years being tired and he wanted so badly for this night to be special. He looks up at Kurt and tries to smile. "I'm sorry. I'm really trying. I really want to be here...I just..."
"You're tired," Kurt finishes, sitting up straight. He motions the waitress over. "It's fine. I'll take you home." With just a few words exchanged, Kurt gets the check and a few to-go boxes. All of a sudden, everything is moving too fast and Blaine can't tell if Kurt's clipped tone is because he's worried and trying to rush, or because he's mad.
Blaine puts his hands out. "Wait. Let's...let's go for a walk."
Kurt stops what he's doing and looks at him doubtfully. "You're too exhausted to sit and have dinner and you want to go walking?"
Blaine bites his lip. He hadn't realized how that sounded. "Yes?"
Kurt shakes his head. "No. Quinn would kill me. Come on." He guides them out of the restaurant before Blaine can protest.
Blaine scrambles for a way to salvage the date. As soon as they're out the door, he stops Kurt again. "Let me buy you dessert. There's an ice cream place on the corner."
"We don't have to do anything else. I swear, it's fine." Kurt is looking at him like he's just waiting for Blaine to give in. He must not know yet that Blaine does not give in easily.
"I have ice cream at home. I'll make you a sundae."
"I don't want ice cream."
"Well, it's going to be a beautiful sundae. You can just look at it."
"You're not going to take no for an answer are you?"
Blaine just grins at Kurt. "This is our first date. I asked you out. I can't just let you go home at..." He looks at his watch. "Seven o'clock. Wow. I'm even more of a loser than I thought."
Kurt grabs Blaine's arm. "Hey. You're not a loser. You're sick and I don't care what time it is."
Blaine nods, but he doesn't really agree with Kurt. He knows that Kurt is just trying to be nice and it is very kind of him to say, but the truth is that Blaine ruined their night.
When they get to the apartment, Blaine grabs Kurt's hand before they can go inside. "Listen, I'm really sorry. I didn't want our first date to be like this."
"Blaine, it's fine," Kurt says again.
"It's not. I mean, I asked you out and then you had to drive. That's not how it's supposed to go." With his free hand, Blaine pats at his pockets as he talks. When he doesn't find anything, he stops and lets go of Kurt to dig deep into his pockets.
Nothing. Blaine closes his eyes. "And now I've locked us out of my apartment. I'm so sorry."
"Are you serious?" Kurt laughs.
Blaine nods glumly.
Kurt keeps laughing.
"It's not funny," Blaine says miserably. "Quinn won't be home for a while."
"Don't you keep an extra key under the mat or something?"
"No. We have crazy neighbors."
Kurt shuffles over to sit down on the floor of the hallway. "I guess we'll just wait then."
"You don't have to wait." Blaine slides down the wall to sit next to him. "I'm really sorry."
"Please, stop apologizing."
"I'm really dumb."
Kurt puts an arm around Blaine's shoulders. "Don't say that. You're fine."
Before Blaine can respond, the door across the hall flies open. Blaine and Quinn's neighbor, a middle-aged woman, perpetually in a nightgown, stares down at them. Blaine's heart drops into his stomach.
"Hi, Sylvia. We were just on our way out." Blaine waves quickly and moves to get up, hoping she'll get the hint and go back inside. She doesn't.
"Is this your friend?" Sylvia gestures at Kurt.
Blaine nods reluctantly. "Yes. Kurt, this is my neighbor Sylvia. Sylvia, my friend Kurt."
"Nice to meet you." Kurt smiles.
"It's nice to have a friend," Sylvia says slowly. She rubs at her chin thoughtfully. "I want to show you something, Kurt." She turns and disappears into her apartment.
"Wait, that's okay," Blaine yells after her. "We don't want to see anything."
Kurt looks at him strangely, but Blaine ignores him. He stands up and is just about to close Sylvia's door, when she reappears holding a tiny something in her palms. When she kneels down in front of Kurt, Blaine sees that it's a fuzzy, adorable hamster.
"This is Frankie," Sylvia says.
"Oh, he's so cute," Kurt coos.
Blaine can feel the look of horror on his face, but he can't get any words out before Kurt reaches out to pet the hamster. The hamster doesn't move. It doesn't even twitch.
"Sylvia," Kurt says slowly. "I think that Frankie is dead."
Blaine chokes.
"Only for a week," Sylvia says.
Blaine forces a sound out of his throat, something between a squeak and a whimper. He coughs and claps his hands. "Okay. I'm so sorry Sylvia, but Kurt and I really have to be going now. Come on, Kurt."
Kurt climbs to his feet.
Sylvia shrugs and goes back into her apartment, closing the door behind her.
Blaine takes a hold of Kurt's arm and tugs him towards the stairs. " Now, you see why there is no key under the mat. Crazy neighbors."
Kurt giggles. "Eccentric, I'd say."
Blaine shuffles Kurt all the way out to his SUV and then lets go. He's certain that Kurt must be horrified by the entire evening. This is probably going to be one of those dates that he'll tell people about as a precautionary tale in the future. Blaine takes a deep breath and tries to find the right words. "Okay. I guess I'll see you around."
"What?" Kurt is still grinning.
"I won't be at the clinic anymore, so you know, maybe I'll see you around town sometime." Blaine looks everywhere but at Kurt, waiting for him to get in his car.
"Are you serious?"
"I'm trying to make this easy. I know you probably don't want to go out again, so..."
"Are you serious?"
"I understand and it's okay. Just...have a good night I guess."
Kurt stares at Blaine long enough to make him uncomfortable. He shifts from foot to foot, unsure why Kurt doesn't just leave already. Blaine ruined the entire evening for him and he just wants to go upstairs and sit on his doorstep and cry until Quinn gets home and then forget it ever happened.
Kurt is kissing him.
Blaine automatically wraps his arms around him.
There, under the streetlight, with Kurt right up against him, Blaine is finally forced to consider that maybe the night wasn't a complete failure after all.
It's almost a week before Blaine sees Kurt again. Despite the nice ending to their first date, Blaine wants to give him a chance to forget about some of the less pleasant parts of the evening.
Now that he doesn't have dialysis four times a week, Blaine finds that he has a ton of free time. At first, after stopping dialysis, he felt worse, but gradually, he adjusted to the new medications and diet and gained some strength back. He takes Tank for long walks during the day and after a week or so, he finds that he doesn't have to stop every block to catch his breath.
It also gives him time to plan an awesome date, involving coffee, a trip to the local art museum, dinner, and hopefully, afterward, whatever Kurt is in the mood for.
Kurt has to work a morning shift and Blaine has to go to the doctor for blood work, but after that, they meet down town at a little coffee shop called the Lima Bean.
Kurt is wearing a plain sweater and dressy, work pants. "I'm sorry," he says almost immediately, apologizing for his supposed lack of fashion. "The clinic was busy and I didn't have time to go home and change."
"You look great." Blaine takes his hand to lead him over to the line. "Very professional."
"Thanks." Kurt smoothes his pants down self-conciously. "But, I hate these things."
Blaine leans close to whisper into Kurt's ear. "They don't hate you. Trust me."
Kurt smiles shyly and nudges Blaine with his shoulder.
Blaine wants so badly to kiss him right then, but they're at the front of the line and the cashier is tapping her fingers impatiently. They order quickly and find a table by the window.
Once they're sitting there, Blaine feels his nerves start to creep in. He'd had everything planned, but now that they're here, all of his plans are slipping from his mind, replaced with fears and nervousness. He knows he screwed up the first date and he desperately doesn't want to mess up his second chance.
Self-conciously, Blaine folds his hands in his lap so Kurt can't see the ugly bruises along the back of his palms from the lingering anemia. He checks his pocket for his phone again, because if he starts to feel sick he'll have to call Quinn right away. He hopes his hair is okay. He hopes Kurt doesn't think he's weird. He hopes his skin doesn't have that awful, sickly, gray hue to it.
He hopes Kurt likes him as much as he likes Kurt.
"What are you thinking about?" Kurt grins at him.
Blaine blinks. "You."
"From the look on your face, I really hope that's not true."
"And if it is?"
"Then, we've got some problems," Kurt says in a funny voice.
Blaine shakes his head, knowing he was caught out. "Sorry, I guess I spaced out for a second."
Kurt frowns. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Blaine assures him quickly. "Please, don't worry about that."
"I have to tell you, I'm pretty good at worrying about people." Kurt lifts his chin airily.
"You're a total mother hen, aren't you?" Blaine smirks. It figures. He seems to find them everywhere he goes.
Kurt shrugs carefully. "I wouldn't say that."
"You totally are." Blaine teases, resting his head on his fist. "What have I gotten myself into?"
Kurt looks down at his coffee and wraps his hands around the cup. "My dad had a heart attack when I was seventeen. It was just the two of us, so...I took care of him. I guess that's when I developed my mothering skills." He finishes with a flourish in his voice and a quirky tilt of his chin. Blaine recognizes those tactics. Kurt is trying to deflect Blaine's attention from the weight of his words.
Blaine wants to hold Kurt's hand, but Kurt is holding his mug like it's a life preserver in the ocean. He's learning Kurt now, and he knows that when Kurt offers something personal like this, he pulls back in other ways. Blaine doesn't mind it though. It just makes him want to learn more.
Blaine tries to meet Kurt's distance with his eyes. "I'm sorry. All I had to worry about when I was seventeen was taking care of myself. And Quinn, I guess."
Kurt shrugs flippantly. "I'm sure that was somehow both harder and easier than caring for a sick parent."
"I would never want you to have to take care of me," Blaine blurts out. He regrets it almost immediately. How presumptuous to think that Kurt would ever want to care for him or that he might even stick around long enough to be in a position to do so.
Kurt only looks curious, though. "Why?"
Blaine takes a deep breath, thinking hard before he speaks. "I've seen what it does to a person...what it's done to Quinn. I wouldn't want to put that burden on anyone again. I know this is like, our second date, but a lot of our issues are already out there and I just want you to know that I would never expect that of you."
Kurt leans back in his chair. "Wow."
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want this to be normal. I don't want you worrying about me or thinking that you can't depend on me. I'm really doing better. We can just be a normal couple. Couple of people, I mean. A couple of people out...together...drinking coffee."
Kurt thankfully ignores Blaine's awkward rambling, as he replies sarcastically, "I think you would agree that neither of our lives have really been this 'normal' that you speak of."
Blaine chuckles quietly. "I guess not." When he looks up, Kurt is studying him closely, eyes thoughtful.
"Tell me about it," he says. "Tell me about your disease."
Blaine shakes his head. "You already know the basics."
"Yeah, but I don't know what's going on now. If you tell me everything, then I won't have to make things up in my head and worry."
"Now?" Blaine hesitates.
"Yes, now." Kurt glances around the coffee shop. "Let's go sit over there. It'll be more comfortable." He stands up without waiting for an answer and leads them to an overstuffed couch in a cozy corner of the shop. They sit down at the same time and sink so far into the cushions that they're shoulders are smashed together.
Blaine clears his throat, trying to buy some time. "I don't know why you want to know this."
Kurt doesn't hesitate. "Because, it's part of you. And I want to know you."
Blaine nods, resigning himself to this, to giving whatever Kurt wants. "Okay...I don't know where to start."
"How do you feel?"
"I feel-"
"Complete honesty," Kurt interrupts. He holds up one hand in a fist, pinkie extended.
Blaine smiles and links his pinky with Kurt's. Kurt holds on even when they rest they're hands back on their laps. "Complete honesty," he agrees. "I feel a little tired. Some days are better and some are worse. But, generally better lately."
"Do you have pain?"
"No. Not really. I have a shunt here in my arm." He points to where it is along his sleeve. "That hurts sometimes, but the doctors say it's fine and the pain is psychological. You know, having something in your body that you know isn't supposed to be there."
Kurt nods thoughtfully. "That makes sense."
Blaine can't believe the sense of relief that washes over him. Somehow, Kurt has got him talking about the very last thing he had wanted to talk about and yet, he doesn't even feel a little bit uncomfortable. Kurt understands him. It's like his words have more meaning when Kurt is the one listening to them. "What else?"
"What do you have to do? I mean, medicine? Doctors?"
"Now, I go to the doctor once a week for blood work to make sure everything is still working fine. I have to follow a diet...lots of calories, but no protein, no salt, that kind of thing. It's not that bad. And I take some vitamins and supplements."
"That's it?"
Blaine nods. "Pretty much."
Kurt grins. "Well, that's not scary at all."
"No, I guess not." Blaine smiles. Pressed together on the couch, elbows, hips, and knees aligned, Blaine feels more content than he has in months, possibly even years. Kurt smells like shampoo, cologne, and a hint of the familiar, medicinal scent of the clinic. Blaine leans his head back on the couch, taking in everything about the boy beside him.
"So, what's the plan for today?" Kurt asks.
"Whatever you want."
"I thought you had a plan," Kurt teases. He leans his head back against the couch too, turning to make eye contact.
Blaine grins. "This is better than my plan."
Kurt hums quietly, what seems to be a habit of his, the first few bars of a vaguely familiar song. He shifts his grip so he's holding Blaine's hand instead of just his pinky.
I love you, Blaine thinks. He'd say it if he wasn't sure Kurt already had him on the borderline of being a total freak. He's never been in real love before and yet he's sure this feeling is it. It's different from how he feels about Quinn and so much more than he'd ever felt for any other random guy he'd gone out with. When he looks at Kurt, he feels home.
"I love you."
When Kurt's wide eyes meet his, Blaine realizes he's said it out loud. Oh, shit. He backpedals, fast.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I mean, I did mean it, but-"
Kurt leans over just enough to kiss Blaine quiet. He pulls back after a moment. The intensity of his stare in the moment is enough to make Blaine dizzy. "You believe in love at first sight, right?"
Blaine nods hesitantly.
Kurt licks his lips, leaning toward him again. "I think that's pretty much the situation here."
Blaine decides to go job-hunting.
He doesn't tell anyone about his decision. He knows its time to get back to work, but inside, he's terrified that they will disagree.
He chooses a time when Quinn and Kurt are both at work, so he can go out on his own and fill out a bunch of applications. He remembers seeing a now hiring sign in the window at the Lima Bean, but it's all the way uptown so he goes there last.
They hire him on the spot as a dishwasher.
It's not ideal, but the wage will take a lot of burden off of Quinn. He walks home on cloud nine, not realizing how late it's gotten until he opens the apartment door and Kurt and Quinn are sitting at the kitchen table. They both fall silent as soon as they see him.
"Hey." Blaine smiles hesitantly. He knows they were talking about him. He hates that.
"Hey." Kurt waves brightly, a little too enthusiastic actually.
"Kurt got here early and I couldn't just leave him on the doorstep," Quinn says. She stands up and gives Blaine a quick hug. "How was your day?"
"Really good." He decides to save his news for a little later. "How was yours?"
"Fine." Quinn sighs. "The usual, really. Doctor Sylvester's office called. Did you know you have an appointment tomorrow morning?"
Blaine's shoulders drop and he looks at Kurt. He'd totally forgotten. It was Kurt's day off and they'd made plans to go to the outlet mall two towns over.
"I'll go with you." Kurt smiles.
"Are you sure?" Blaine asks. Going to the doctor's office is a regular part of his life and he still hates it. He doesn't want to drag Kurt into all that.
"Of course. No big deal. We can go to the mall after."
"Awesome." Kurt is awesome. Blaine has decided.
"I'm going to go change and shower. Are you guys going out?" Quinn asks.
"We're just going to grab something to eat," Blaine says. He takes her seat at the table, across from Kurt.
Quinn pauses in the doorway to her room. "Did you take your medicine today?"
"Yes." Blaine draws the word out slowly.
"The vitamins?"
"Yeesssss."
"Just checking," Quinn sings and then slams her door closed.
Blaine turns to Kurt immediately. "What did she say about me?"
Kurt shrugs non-chalantly. "Nothing major. She was just telling me about her job and how long you guys have lived here and stuff."
Blaine narrows his eyes at him.
"That's it." Kurt laughs. "Don't be so paranoid."
Blaine concedes with a nod and leans back in his chair. "I got a job today."
"You did what?"
"I got a job, at the Lima Bean. You're now dating a certified dishwasher," Blaine announces proudly. He waits for Kurt's congratulations but instead, Kurt shifts uncomfortably.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Of course it's a good idea. We need money. When is money ever a bad idea?"
"When you're putting your health at risk to earn it."
Blaine glares at Kurt, knowing that those kinds of concerns aren't coming just from him. "What did Quinn say?"
Kurt sighs heavily. "She said that you're still anemic. That you still sleep a lot."
"That doesn't mean I'm not capable of working." Blaine can hardly believe what he's hearing. This is exactly what he was afraid of.
Kurt suddenly won't meet his eyes. He picks at a spot on the table. "She also said that she thinks your condition might come back." He looks up to meet Blaine's stare.
Behind them, in the bathroom, the shower comes on, a dull rushing through the wall.
"I'm not putting my life on hold anymore for 'what if's'." Blaine is so tense, so holding back from saying more, that he twitches.
Kurt looks down again and folds his hands in his lap. "We're just worried about you."
Blaine takes a deep breath before he starts yelling, because Kurt really doesn't deserve that. "Okay. I really, really don't need another person worrying about me. I need someone that will actually listen to me and let me feel halfway normal again. I want to have a life and contribute something to my relationships. I don't...I'm not this sickly person, Kurt. I can take care of myself now." He stares at Kurt, willing him to understand.
"Okay."
Blaine blinks. "Okay?"
Kurt shrugs. "Yeah. Everything you just said makes sense. I'm listening to you."
Blaine feels like his shell has been cracked open and he's being allowed to see the world for the first time. "Thank you."
"Good luck telling Quinn about the job though. I predict a nuclear meltdown."
"Oh my, God." Blaine props his elbows on the table and puts his head in his hands. "What should I say?"
"The truth. Just be honest."
Blaine snorts. "Have you met Quinn?"
"Yeah, and I think you two are very much alike."
Blaine looks at Kurt suspiciously. "How do you know us so well already?"
Kurt laughs. "I'm a fast learner."
The bathroom door opens and then the door to Quinn's room opens and closes. Blaine glances over his shoulder.
"I should just do it now."
Kurt nods. "Rip the band-aid off."
Blaine squares his shoulders and goes over to her door. He knocks quickly and then opens the door when she calls him in.
Quinn is sitting on the bed in a bathrobe, combing out her hair. "What's up?"
Blaine takes a deep breath and stands up straight. "I got a job today."
Quinn stops combing and puts the brush down. "Doing what?"
"Washing dishes at the Lima Bean. It's a coffee shop."
Quinn closes her eyes.
Blaine waits.
"I don't think that's a good idea," she finally says.
"I think it's a great idea."
Quinn is shaking her head. "You're still not one-hundred percent and we're not so desperate for money that you have to work."
"I can work. I want to help out. There's no reason I can't."
Quinn stands up and busies herself at the dresser. She twists her hair up and clips it. "The reason you can't is because I don't think it's a good idea."
Blaine scrunches his face up in a frown. "You don't get to decide everything for me."
"I've been deciding everything for two years now."
Blaine scoffs. "That's not true and you know it."
Quinn spins around to face him, her face twisted in anger. "Don't you dare try to diminish what I've done. You've been out of your mind with exhaustion or pain or both for...for a long time. I've taken care of everything. I've decided. I decide." She jabs a finger into her own chest.
Blaine crosses his arms. She's right on some counts, but if he ever wants to do this, he can't let her know it yet. "I'm getting better," he points out gently. "I am better. You need to realize that."
"You need to wait," Quinn replies firmly.
"I have the job now."
"Well, call them up and explain the situation." Quinn brushes past him and starts to pull clothes out of her closet.
"No way. They don't need to know my situation."
"You're not going to tell them? Great idea. Then, when you get sick at work or you have to call off or you have to work around doctor's appointments..."
"Stop. Please." Blaine holds his hands out to her. "I'm done. I have the job. I'm keeping it. That's it. I don't need your incredible negativity to ruin it for me." He glares at her one last time before turning and marching back out to the kitchen.
The table is empty.
Kurt is gone.
The next morning, Kurt shows up right on time for Blaine's doctor appointment. Blaine is more than a little surprised to see him. He hadn't spoken to Quinn for the rest of the night, certain that, thanks to her, things between him and Kurt were beyond repair. Yet, Kurt is here, standing at the door, nervously rocking back and forth on his heels.
"Good morning," he says, in a cheerfully strained kind of way.
"Morning." Blaine grabs his jacket and they're out the door. "I didn't think you'd show up. I was just about to go wait for the bus."
Kurt frowns and clasps his hands together in front of him. "I'm really sorry about last night. I felt like I was intruding. I couldn't help but listen and I didn't think I should. So, I just...I just wanted to give you guys your privacy."
Blaine nods tightly. "It's okay. I get it."
"Do you really?"
Blaine really doesn't, but he can't say that, so he doesn't say anything. He knows it's only been a few months, but it feels like he's known Kurt forever and he can't imagine a single thing that should've made him leave, especially when Blaine needed him.
Kurt's SUV is parked at the curb and Kurt quickens his step to open the door for Blaine.
Blaine stops and takes a hold of the door frame. "I am capable of opening my own door."
Kurt lets go without a word and circles around the car. Once they've started down the road, he finally speaks. "You know Blaine, every time Quinn or I do something nice for you, it's not all because we think you're sick or weak. I do it because I care and I want to do nice things for you."
Blaine rests his head on his fist and looks out the window. He chews on his bottom lip, hard. What Kurt is saying makes sense, but Blaine is feeling way too smothered to take it right now. He settles somewhere in the middle of it all. "Thank you for driving me today."
Beside him, Kurt sighs heavily. Apparently, it wasn't the response he'd wanted. "No problem."
At the doctor's office, Blaine reluctantly lets Kurt follow him around. They go to the lab where blood is drawn through the fistula in his arm. Blaine tries not to look at Kurt's face for that part. When the doctor comes around, the conversation is short. The tall, blonde physician is probably the only person Blaine knows that takes his words at face value.
They have to wait around while the lab gets his results.
Sitting in the waiting room, right next to Kurt, Blaine hasn't felt so far from him since the moment they met. He knows it's all his fault and it sucks so, so badly. Blaine wants to smash something. He wants to quit being this crazy, complicated person and start being someone that Kurt could actually love.
Zoned out, Blaine doesn't know how much time passes before Doctor Sylvester calls them back again. She gets right to the point.
"Your lab results tell me everything looks peachy. Kidneys are hanging in there, right around 65%. But, the anemia is worse."
Blaine's mouth falls open. He's been feeling okay, but if he's really honest, he has been a little worried that he's still so tired. "Is that bad?"
"Nothing to get your panties in a twist about just yet. We'll keep an eye on it along with all your other delicacies. For now, I want to boost your vitamin intake. We're going to hardline some iron right into your blood stream. That should get you hopping around like a caffeinated Easter bunny again in no time."
"Injections?" Blaine doesn't like the sound of that at all.
"You got it, kid. It's the best way. Once a week, whenever you come in." Dr. Sylvester winks at him and hands him a new prescription order before sending them on their way.
In the car again, Blaine can feel Kurt watching him from the corner of his eye.
"Are you okay?" Kurt finally asks.
Blaine presses his lips together and breathes deep through his nose. He really doesn't ever want to have another conversation about how 'okay' he is again ever. He doesn't feel like having any conversations at all right now. "You know, maybe we should just forget the mall today."
Kurt looks surprised. "Are you sure?"
Blaine nods quickly.
"Okay." Kurt frowns, but makes the turn to head home, instead of toward the highway.
They ride in silence for a while. Blaine stares out the windshield, hypnotized by the blurring of street signs as they pass.
Kurt clears his throat. "When do you start work?"
"Tommorow morning."
"That's pretty fast." Kurt laughs nervously.
"I guess. It's just training."
"You know, I don't think they'd mind if you said you needed to wait a few more days to start."
Blaine can't even dignify that with a response. He doesn't know why everyone has to continue ganging up on him. It's like they want him to be feeble and sick for the rest of his life.
"I don't want to talk about it anymore." He literally bites his tongue to keep from adding anything else.
"Okay." Kurt wrings his hands around the steering wheel. He sounds hurt, but all Blaine can think about is how hurt he feels, inside. Fighting with Quinn, the sudden distance from Kurt, another blow to his health. It hurts.
When they finally get back to the apartment, Blaine hops out before Kurt can even unbuckle. "I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
Kurt is biting his bottom lip when he nods. Blaine turns away before he can see the quiver of Kurt's chin and the way his eyes fill up with wetness.
It turns out being a dishwasher doesn't actually involve much training and Blaine is given a full load after just a half hour. He washes more dishes than he can even remember seeing in his lifetime and his new boss breathes down his neck the entire time, not so subtly encouraging him to be quicker.
At the end of a six hour shift, he staggers outside, across the street to a small park and sits down in the grass beneath a tree. He can feel the fine muscles in his legs trembling and he knows he'll never make the walk home. He leans his head back against the tree trunk and closes his eyes. He'd gone to sleep early last night, in preparation for the job and because he still isn't speaking to Quinn, but the extra sleep doesn't seem to have made any difference at all as he drifts off.
Blaine wakes up when something shoves hard at his shoulder and his head hits the grass.
It's dark now, there's grass and dirt in his face and somebody has their hand in his back pocket.
Blaine jerks away and gets another shove and a mouthful of grass for it. By the time he scrambles to his feet, the thief has his wallet in hand and is running away across the open space of the park. Without a thought, Blaine takes off after him.
He hasn't run any kind of distance since before the surgery and very quickly he feels all kinds of new aches and twinges. Still, he pushes forward. The thief isn't too far off and Blaine doesn't want to lose him in the gloom and shadows of the evening.
He knows his wallet was mostly empty. Some cards, some pictures, his license, and the meager tips he'd made at the coffee shop that morning. But it's the idea of it, that someone would be so bold as to walk up to him, asleep, and yank his wallet right out of his pocket, that keeps his adrenaline flowing. He can't handle losing one more single, solitary thing.
The thief turns down an alley and runs right up to a chain-link fence. In the second that he takes to get ready to climb it, Blaine catches up and uses all of his momentum to shove the guy hard into the pavement with his shoulder.
The thief hits the ground with a smack and a whoosh as the air goes out of his lungs. The wallet falls from his limp fingers.
Blaine snatches it up from the concrete, breathing hard, ready for more of a fight when all the thief does is raise his hands up in defeat.
"Take it. Take it. Take it," the guy stutters.
Blaine is so angry, he's shivering. Words fail him and all he manages is to spit on the pavement beside the guy's feet.
The thief flinches but doesn't make any attempt to move. After a long, tense moment, Blaine turns and stumbles back out of the alley. The adrenaline is fading and his hands are starting to tremble.
He checks his wallet as soon as he's back out on the street to be sure nothing is missing. With that done, he finds the nearest bench and falls onto it. He leans forward and puts his head in his hands, breathing curses into his palms.
Now that he's still, his head spins in lazy loops and the ground seems to shift beneath him.
This is it, he thinks. Rock bottom is when you've estranged your friends, your family, your chance at a relationship and chased down a pick-pocket just for five, crumpled one-dollar bills.
Rock bottom is not even being able to walk home at the end of the day.
He curses harder and digs his fingers into his scalp. He just wants to be home, with Kurt and Quinn and nothing at all to worry about for at least five minutes. With a surge of optimism, he stands up and takes a few steps down the sidewalk. Almost immediately, the world gets a little hazy and dark around him.
Blaine sits back down on the bench and folds over, head on his knees.
He starts to realize that he doesn't have a choice about what to do next.
He pulls out his phone and calls Kurt.
"Hey." Kurt answers quickly, sounding happy and relieved. "How was your first day?"
"Kurt." Blaine gasps his name and realizes he's starting to panic a little.
"What's wrong?"
"I need...I need a ride."
"Where are you?" In a split second, Kurt is all business, his voice tense.
Blaine lifts his head just enough to look around. "By the coffee shop, but down further...behind the park." He rests his forehead in his hand and tries to breathe deeply.
"Okay. We're on our way. Two minutes."
"We?"
Kurt laughs sadly. "You're late...I was already at your apartment."
"Oh." Blaine moans. "Kurt."
"You're fine. It's okay." There's shuffling on the phone and Kurt's muffled voice talking to Quinn.
"What?" Blaine tries to focus, but it's so hard.
"Nothing. Don't worry. We're almost there."
The exhaustion is hitting Blaine hard, dulling his thoughts. "I'm going to hang up now," he tells Kurt, so that he doesn't get worried.
"Hold on a sec-"
Blaine hits end on the phone. He lets it fall from his fingers to the grassy ground with a thump.
It's only a few minutes later that the car pulls up behind him. There's the sound of doors opening and then two separate voices calling his name.
Kurt gets there first, landing on his knees in front of Blaine. Blaine reaches out to grasp his arms and look him in the eyes. "I'm okay."
Kurt nods like he's agreeing with a crazy person.
Quinn sits next to Blaine on the bench and instantly starts checking him over, clicking her tongue as she brushes grass and dirt off of his side. "What happened?" She has a bottle of water and presses it into Blaine's hands.
He's shaking so badly Quinn has to help him take a drink. "I was at work," he finally says.
Quinn takes the bottle away from him and starts rubbing his back. "Then what? I really hope washing dishes didn't do this to you."
Blaine looks over at her, her concerned gaze, her hand still rubbing slow circles on his back. Then, he looks down at Kurt, who is smiling so hopefully, so encouraging despite what Blaine knows he has put him through. He doesn't know what he's done to deserve these people in his life.
The entire incident is feeling more like a dream than anything and Blaine considers for a moment that maybe it was, maybe he really is losing it. But, no, he has his wallet still clutched in one hand to prove it wasn't. His arms and legs feel like they have sandbags attached to them and all he wants is to forget about it.
It's enough just to have Quinn here and to have Kurt holding his hand.
Blaine shakes his head slowly and looks up at them. "Can we please just go home?"
He sees the two of them exchange a look and a nod. Then, Kurt takes a hold of his arms and helps him to his feet.
"Of course. Let's go home."
Quinn walks slowly on his other side and between the two of them, Blaine doesn't stumble at all.
The apartment is an island of calm in the middle of a busy city night. Its quiet and Quinn sets about heating up food for everyone and opening the windows for fresh air.
Kurt takes Blaine into the bathroom and sits him down on the closed toilet seat. Without saying a word, he combs the grass and dirt out of Blaine's hair and wipes the sweat off his face with a washcloth. He disappears into the living room and comes back with a clean shirt and pants.
"I wish I had the energy for a shower," Blaine murmurs.
"In the morning," Kurt whispers back. He pulls up on Blaine's dirtied t-shirt and Blaine lifts his arms without even thinking about it. When Kurt is still for a moment, Blaine glances up at him...and follows his gaze right back down to the surgery scars on his stomach and the fistula and draw marks on his arms. Oh.
"This isn't really how I imagined you taking off my shirt." Blaine tries to smile, but it comes out all wrong and he lowers his head in embarrassment.
Kurt's gaze doesn't falter. "This is exactly how I imagined you." He reaches out to run his finger tips over the longest line on Blaine's stomach. "Beautiful." Kurt leans forward to press his lips to Blaine's shoulder. "Sexy."
Blaine can't help but lean into Kurt, nuzzling his neck. The sense of relief he feels is huge. It's been so long since he felt worthy enough for anyone. He almost hopes Kurt doesn't say anything more, because he just doesn't have the energy to keep up with what he'd really like to do. He sighs into Kurt's shoulder. "It's not fair, saying things like that to me when I can barely keep my eyes open."
Kurt pulls away and smiles slyly. He picks up the clean shirt. "Arms up, hot stuff." Blaine complies and then Kurt pulls him to his feet. "Now, food."
"Bed."
"Food, then bed."
Kurt leads them out to the kitchen where Quinn is just putting her dish into the sink.
"There's pasta on the stove," she says. "Let me get you a bowl."
They each sit down at the table with their dinner. Quinn hovers nervously over Blaine's shoulder until he looks at her, one eyebrow raised in a question. She falls into the chair beside him. "Please, don't go back to that job."
Blaine drops his fork into his bowl and pushes it away. "I'm going back."
"I can't stand to watch you like this."
"I'll be fine." Blaine smiles, confident in the people around him, if not in himself. "Even though I spend all of my time trying to push them away...I think I've got a pretty good support system." He hopes the apology is apparent, and that it's enough.
"Blaine..."
"I know, Quinn." He looks over at her, pleading with her to understand. Kurt was right when he said they're a lot alike. At the end of the day, Blaine knows that she is the one person that will really understand why he has to do the things that he does.
She nods solemnly and then leans forward and wraps her arms around him. "You're still my person," she whispers into his ear. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he says out loud.
Quinn stands up and flicks her fingers at his hair. "I'll be in my room." She points at both of them. "And I don't want to hear a single sound out of this living room."
"Aye, aye." Kurt salutes.
When her door closes, Blaine stands up slowly and makes his way over to his bed. Kurt follows at a distance, but once Blaine settles himself on the bed, he pats the space beside him. "Come on, cowboy."
Kurt crawls in, turning onto his side and putting an arm over Blaine's chest. "Is this okay?"
Blaine reaches up to hold onto Kurt's arm. "Of course." He takes a deep breath, trying to stay awake for a few more minutes. "Listen, Kurt, I really need to apologize. I'm sorry for the way I was acting."
"It's okay," Kurt starts to say, but Blaine shakes his head.
"It's not. I care about you and I need you and I couldn't admit that to myself."
"I forgive you. It's forgotten."
"This whole thing...my whole life is making me a little crazy, but that shouldn't be an excuse."
Kurt hums thoughtfully. "At some point, I think that crazy is a valid excuse."
Blaine laughs. "Then, I really hope I'm not there yet." He runs his fingers along Kurt's arm. "I can't believe how lucky I am to have you. I know...I know that I'm not much, but for as long as you'll put up with my crazy, I'm yours."
"Blaine." Kurt squeezes him closer and leans over to whisper in his ear. "Haven't you figured it out yet? You're everything and I love you."
Blaine realizes that his eyes are closed and he's not sure when that happened, finally losing his fight to stay awake. With his last bit of consciousness he turns into Kurt's embrace and breathes him in, certain that for now, neither of them are going anywhere.
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