New Life and the Threat of Death

I woke up with a start. My hand went immediately to my stomach. I felt that surge of magic and knew right then that my vision was coming true. "Hey, Merlin what's wrong?" Arthur asked slurredly. I felt the tears pricking my eyes. "Hey it's alright," Arthur said sitting up. "If I hurt you-"

"It's not that," I said looking down at my flat stomach, "Arthur, I think I'm pregnant."

"How did... never mind that part I know. Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded. "Well isn't this good?"

"I'm not upset just shocked it happened so soon," I said. Arthur pulled into his arms and kissed my hair. "A baby," I said not really believing it.

"Yeah," Arthur replied. "I'm going to be a father, you're going to be a mother."

"I thought you said you knew how this worked," I teased lightly. He just ignored it and gently laid a hand on my bare stomach. His touch was warm and I could feel the love in it. Then a loud knock resonated from the direction of the door. Arthur ignored it but the knocking became more insistent. He finally got up and walked to the door just cracking it.

"Yes?" he asked. "Hello Freya, yes she's here but she's still resting."

"No I'm not Arthur just step behind the dressing wall you big baby," I said. He stuck out his tongue and I pulled the covers over my body. "I'm here Freya." She walked in, saw me, and turned the shade of Arthur's tunic, which was on the floor with the pile of his clothes.

"I-I'm s-s-so sorry my lady, I-I didn't mean to interrupt anything," she sputtered nervously.

"Freya what it is?" I asked shifting the sheets covering my body.

"Mordred asked me to come check on you, it's almost noon." When she said that I heard Arthur swear and hit his head on the candle bracketed to the wall. I looked back at Freya and she had turned an even brighter shade of red because of Arthur's use of profanity.

"Tell him I'm fine and that I'll meet him later for his lessons," I said yawning. She closed the door behind her and I stepped behind the changing wall with my dress for the day. Arthur was rubbing his head and looking for his clothes. "Your clothes are on the floor you dollophead," I said pulling the dress over my head.

"What is a dollophead?"

"In two words?"

"Yeah," he sneered.

"Prince Arthur," I said, "Wait, no! My husband."

"Ha ha very funny Merlin, you clotpole?"

"What's a clotpole?"

"In two words, my wife," he said sarcastically.

"No need for sarcasm Arthur," I pouted. He kissed my nose and retrieved his clothes. I was fixing his collar when there was another knock.

"Come in!" Arthur called. A worried looking Gwaine and Lancelot came in and I could tell something was wrong. "What is it?" Arthur asked clearly sensing their distress.

"It's the King sire, he's deathly sick," Lancelot said gravely. Arthur ran out of the room and the knights looked at me. My eyes were wide with shock so Gwaine and Lancelot escorted me to the King's chambers. I raised a hand to knock but decided against it. This was Arthur's time with his father. I sat on the bench and leant my head against the cool rock. Gwaine stayed with me but Lancelot went off to finish his duties. We sat in silence and Gwaine didn't even try to make a joke like he usually did.

Arthur came out and slumped against the wall with his arms folded over his knees and his head under his arms, not having noticed us and I heard muffled sobs. I waved Gwaine off and crouched in front of Arthur and rubbed his shoulder. His head shot up and he roughly wiped the tears off his face. "Arthur, you can cry if you want to, he's your father," I said soothingly. He grabbed me and held me tightly. I rubbed his back and he cried into my shoulder. I made little soothing noises and tried to calm him. His crying subsided into sniffs and hiccups. Gaius walked out of the king's room and I held up a hand to stop him. I shook my head and moved my hand in a circular motion on his back. He sighed and wiped his eyes. "You better now?" he nodded and hiccupped.

He set a hand on my stomach and I just covered his with mine. "It's ironic that the night you conceive our child my Father gets deathly ill isn't it?" he said somberly. Gaius looked at me surprised but I simply watched Arthur.

"Arthur," Gaius said softly, "the king was sick long before you were married. Probably long before you were engaged." Arthur whipped around and yanked his hand off of my stomach. He glared at the older man.

"Why didn't you save him?" Arthur yelled accusingly. "Why didn't you make him better if he was sick all that time!"

"He never came to me claiming illness Arthur, he never had a cough, a fever, nothing," Gaius said calmly. "There is nothing I can do now either. You will take over as King and Uther will die."

"NO!" Arthur said sounding strangled. "You're going to make him better! He'll be fine!" Arthur yelled, I could hear he was trying not to start sobbing again.

"Arthur, I'm sure Gaius would do everything he could if he thought it would help," I said softly. Arthur looked at me and his face lit up.

"Merlin! You can heal him, use magic! I know you can!" he said. I shook my head.

"Arthur I can't, not in the state Uther sounds to be in. If he's as close to death as Gaius says then I can't help. For a life to be given a life must be taken," I said sadly.

"Can't you try?" Arthur pleaded.

"If Gaius is right it will kill me Arthur, or it could kill…" I trailed off and my hand went to my flat stomach. Arthur let out a strangled cry and slumped down to the floor. His whole body shook and trembled with his cries. I looked away not wanting to see Arthur so vulnerable, so broken. I felt like my heart was shattering. Gaius took my arm and led me down the hall a little ways. I let out a breath and felt tears. Arthur was so angry and in so much pain that it hurt me.

"What was Arthur talking about 'your child'?" Gaius asked.

"When I woke up this morning I felt something and that was all I could think of. That I was pregnant."

"Are you sure," he asked. I nodded and he forced a smile. "At least there might be a little comfort for Arthur in this dark time," Gaius said.

"I don't think anything could console him," I said. I heard something shatter and I ran to Arthur. He was crying and there was a shattered vase smashed against the wall. I gasped and Arthur turned toward me looking frighteningly angry but when he saw it was just me he softened. I bent down and started gathering up the broken bits of glass and Arthur touched my shoulder.

"Leave it, you shouldn't be getting that in your condition," he said trying to stand me up but I shook off his hand and kept picking up the glass.

"Arthur I'm not helpless, I'm pregnant," I said standing up. "If you're planning on treating me like I'm going to break then you better get a new plan. I'm not going to sit in bed and do nothing for nine months. And you can throw these away." I dumped the shards into his hand careful that they didn't pierce his skin. I stalked off the find Mordred. He was sitting in my old chambers and his head snapped up when I slammed the door behind me.

"Lady Emrys?" Mordred asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just upset and angry. How are you this morning?" I asked trying to forget about Arthur for a moment.

"Good. There's something off about you this morning my lady," Mordred said concentrating. "I can't figure what it is."

"Well that's fine. Now if only I could get you to focus on your studies this intently," I teased.

I taught him a bit of everything from swordplay moves to healing potion. He listed with rapt attention and hung on to every word I said. He asked questions on almost everything and I answered as best as I could. "Alright that wraps up today's lessons," I said closing the last book and putting it on top of the others.

"Can't you stay a little longer?" he asked.

"No, I have to make amends for something I did," I said and walked to the king's chambers, Arthur was sitting there as I figured he would be. "Arthur I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you were right. I'm just… desperate. I don't want to lose him, I' not ready to be King," he said looking at the floor.

"Arthur, you will be the best King and father in all of Albion, I know you will." I sat down in front of him and he just looked at the floor. "Hey," I said tilting his chin to look at me, "I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it." I gave him a chaste kiss on the forehead and he gave me the same.

"Why don't we get some food in you Arthur?" I suggested. He nodded and I walked him to our chambers. Freya was taking the linens off the bed and I asked her to fetch Arthur something to eat. She nodded and went off. He sat with his head against the back of the chair and looking tired. Freya came back with the lunch and I set it in front of Arthur.

"Aren't you eating?" he asked looking at me.

"No," I said handing him a grape.

"You need to eat too," he said.

"I will. Freya will make sure I do." He nodded and took the grape out of my hand and putting it his mouth. He ate it slowly almost like it was difficult for him to swallow. I started ripping up the bread, cheese, and cold meat into smaller pieces.

"I'm not a baby Merlin," Arthur said although he looked like he appreciated it.

"I know," I said wiping my hands off on a napkin. "I am going to be a mother. I'm practicing on you." He laughed weakly. I stood and looked out the window . The people passed not aware of the state of their king. Arthur wrapped his arms around my waist and set his head on my shoulder. He laid his hands on my stomach and said something out of the blue.

"Where are Mordred's parents?"

"They both died when he was a baby," I said telling him what Mordred had told me. "His parents were Druids and so when the Druids found them they saw the mark and took him in."

"Does he hate me?"

"No."

"Could we adopt him?" Arthur asked. I turned my head to look at him.

"I suppose so but are you sure?" He nodded. "If you want to I'd love to," I said looking back out the window.

Later that day we talked to Mordred and explained that we wanted him to become our son. He hugged Arthur and then me. He called Arthur 'Father' and called me 'Mother'. We laughed and Arthur started bonding with our "son". That's when Lancelot said that the king was dying and that he was asking for Arthur. Arthur and I rushed out and Mordred followed behind me. I told him to stay outside and decided that I should go with Arthur. Arthur dropped to his knees next to his father and held onto his hand tightly.

"Arthur… promise me… that you will take my place. That you will… secure our bloodline."

"I have Father, Merlin's with child," he said his voice cracking. "I'll be the best king I can. I promise." Uther took a shaky breath, closed his eye, and the life just left him. Arthur broke into terrible sobs and Gaius bowed his head. I knelt down next to Arthur and he wrapped an arm around me.

"I'm sorry Arthur," I whispered and soothed him until his sobs subsided. I led him to bed and watched over him. I fell asleep at dawn and woke up when Arthur stirred. I could hear the rain pattering on the stones outside. Arthur hugged me to him tightly and I kissed his forehead and smoothed down his hair.

"The funeral's today," he said. I nodded. "I have to go. I have to watch. I have to be King." I nodded again. He sighed and sat up. "Merlin, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" I asked.

"Because, I ruined the day that we found out we are going to have a child by not being with you and acting like a spoiled prat," he said running his hand over his face. He grabbed his ceremonial clothes out of the wardrobe and I grabbed a black dress. I braided the hair that fell in my face and pinned them in the back. Arthur put his cloak around his shoulders deftly. He fumbled with the pin so I did it for him. I pinned on my own black cloak. I got Mordred ready by getting his black clothes on and we met Arthur. Arthur walked solemnly down to the courtyard. His Father's body lay on an open cart so that the people would see their king one last time. We proceeded down to the lake and Uther's body was set in a boat tied to the shore. Arthur untied his cloak and laid it over it father's body like a blanket, like Uther was sleeping. He threw the rope in the boat and shoved it off. He gave me a look and I set the fire with magic.

Arthur watched his father burn until there was nothing left but still stood. I touched his shoulder and walked Mordred back to Camelot. After a little while I hear Arthur yelling and I knew he was fine, just letting out his anger. I told Mordred to go ahead and walked back to the lake. Arthur was still yelling and he was about to throw his sword when I walked up. "Arthur," I said afraid of him in his fit of rage. He didn't hear me so I touched his shoulder gently. He whirled around and stopped yelling.

"What is it Merlin?" he asked an edge to his voice.

"Please come back to Camelot. It's raining and I don't want you to get sick," I said softly. "Please."

"Alright," he said something in him softening. We walked in silence and when we got inside I dabbed his face with my cloak. ""You're soaked."

"So are you," I said leading him to our room. "Go and change out of these wet things." He nodded and got out another pair of clothes exactly the same as the ones I helped him out of. "There, isn't that better?" He nodded numbly.

"You change too, you're soaked. You don't need to get sick since you're pregnant," Arthur said and so I changed into the only other black dress I had. We walked down and met Mordred who was still dripping. We both scolded him and sent him off to change. We waited for him and when he returned Arthur went to the audience chamber and stood in front of his father's throne. A man I didn't know had Arthur swear oaths and then placed the crown on his head. Arthur looked hollow and dull but that didn't matter to anyone but me.

I started the shouts, "Long live the King! Long live the King!" we chanted as Arthur stood waiting for it all to be over. Arthur left as soon as the courtiers started to. I rushed after him and found him in an alcove behind a tapestry. He hand yanked the crown off his head and buried his head in his arms. He wasn't crying so that was a good sign.

"May I sit with you?" I asked. He nodded and I squeezed in next to him. "Hey, people are waiting for you and it's over now." I shushed him and he merely sat irresponsive. "Come now Arthur. Just a few more minutes and you can sleep and not worry alright?" I spoke to him as if I were speaking to Mordred. He nodded and we mingled with the guests for a while but then Arthur was getting worn out and people were starting to notice so I put him to bed. He slept and I watched over him again.

"It'll all be alright Arthur. I promise that everything will get better. I love you," I said as I kissed his temple and settled down to sleep.