Chapter 21
Hotch was staring at the ceiling having resumed counting the panels as he was unable to rest, when the door to his room opened. Turning his head slightly to the side, he saw Reid enter with a woman with short blond hair behind him. He knew it couldn't be the woman called JJ because her hair was too short. She smiled despite traces of tears and mascara having run down her cheeks. She was wiping her cheeks with the pads of her fingers.
Reid held the door open allowing the woman to enter, then let the door close. Gently taking her arm, he led her to Hotch's bedside. Licking his lips, Reid looked into Hotch's brown eyes. "Hotch, this is Haley. She's been really looking forward to seeing you. Your doctor said she could visit for an hour if it's okay with you." He knew he couldn't force his friend to allow the visit, and if he refused, there wasn't much Reid could do about it except maybe try again later. Please say it's all right, Hotch, he thought to himself. Your wife needs this, and so do you.
Hotch looked into Haley's eyes and saw a nervousness in them. Now that she was closer, he saw she had the prettiest brown eyes he ever recalled seeing. He smiled nervously. His smile seemed to relax her a bit; he could see it in her face. "Sure. I don't mind," he told Reid before again looking at Haley. There was something about her that he couldn't put a finger on. "Haley. Haley. I don't know why or how, but your name sounds familiar but I don't recall ever meeting you before. Do we know each other?"
Haley looked at Reid who nodded as he moved the chair closer to the bed so she could sit down. As she did so, Reid looked at Hotch. "I'm going to wait outside, Hotch, so you two can visit. Dave and I will both be outside." He saw Hotch smile nervously at the prospect of being alone with somebody he didn't know, but she had come in with Reid so he should have no reason to be nervous. He waited until Reid left them alone before turning his eyes on Haley.
"You never answered my question," he said.
"What question is that?" she asked timidly. She saw the confusion in his eyes at seeing her and hoped something would give her a glimmer of hope; something that showed he recalled her and Jack even if just a little.
"I asked why your name sounds familiar, and have we met before?"
Haley chewed her lower lip. "We do know each other and have since high school. Overall, I'd say we've known each other for nearly twenty years."
Hotch arched an eyebrow. "High school? Really. How did we meet? Did we have classes together?"
"We dated from our junior year on. Actually, we first met through a drama class I was taking. We were doing a musical called The Pirates of Penzance."
Hotch appeared puzzled and scrunched his face as he processed what he'd been told. Finally, his face relaxed and looked at Haley.
"I'm sorry, but I don't remember any of this. Yet, something tells me that I should though." His eyes then fell on the photo album. "What's that?"
Haley's eyes shifted down to the album she held pressed against her chest. "This? I brought a photo album with some pictures of people you might recall. Would you like to see them?"
Even though he couldn't explain it even to himself, he oddly felt a connection with this unknown woman. Also, he found himself drawn to this beautiful woman like a moth to a flickering flame; again, he didn't know why. He shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess so. What are they photos of?" he asked carefully easing himself upward further into a seated position as Haley put the photo album in his lap and opened it to the first page. The first photos that met his eyes were color photos of him and Haley in their junior year in high school, followed by other photos including those of their senior prom and at parties including Hotch's and Haley's. They checked out additional photos which Hotch looked at intently while Haley kept one eye on her husband to see if there was any spark of recognition, and the other on the photos. She frowned when even their wedding photo didn't seem to generate any memory. "Married?" he asked with raised eyebrows, looking at her.
"Yes, in 1999 we were married." Haley swallowed the lump in her throat. "Aaron, don't you remember anything about us? Do these photos trigger anything in you?"
Hotch studied the woman's face and noticed her moist eyes as she looked at him; and he found he could feel her pain. How is that possible? he asked himself. He knew what she wanted him to say, and after a minute or two, exhaled deeply through his nose.
"I'm sorry but I don't. I'm really sorry." He watched as she swallowed hard and biting her lower lip, just nodded. It was then she watched Hotch turn a page and saw a photo of himself and Haley taken in what appeared to be a hospital setting. She was holding an infant wrapped in a blue blanket in her arms, and both adults were smiling broadly. Hotch looked up at the wall across from him with a seemingly blank look on his face. Haley, seeing this, became concerned and afraid her husband was reverting back to a catatonic condition.
"Aaron? Aaron, what's wrong? Do you want me to get the doctor?" She was beginning to panic seeing his blank expression.
"Jack," Hotch murmured so softly Haley almost didn't hear him. He looked back at the photo, and ran a finger along the infant's pudgy cherub face. "Jack," he repeated.
A small smile slowly appeared on Haley's face. Also, tears began to make their way down her cheeks again. Folding her hands as if praying, she leaned them against her lips. "Yes, that's Jack," she remarked quietly. "Do you remember our son?"
Hotch scrunched up his face again and shook his head indicating he didn't.
"Then how did you know his name is Jack?"
Hotch looked at her, seemingly confused. "I…I don't know. I saw his picture and the name Jack came into my mind. You say he's our son?"
Haley nodded eagerly. "Yes. Yes he is. He's five now, and he misses his daddy very much. He was just two when you went missing. He has a framed photo of you, me and him in his room, and people have continuously told him stories of his daddy, but…" she found she couldn't finish.
Hotch nodded he understood and continued looking at the baby's photo. He turned several more pages of photos of Jack at different ages until he came to one of himself, Haley and Jack in a family pose. Everybody had a broad smile on their face. He looked at Haley. "Does he remember me at all?" Haley's silence gave him his answer. He then returned to the family photo.
"Is this a recent photo?" he asked.
"Yes," Haley answered with a slight smile. "It was taken at a mall when you had a day off from work three years ago."
Hotch studied the photo of his son and noticed that the boy had sandy-colored hair, brown eyes, and dimples like his. Suddenly he felt a strong desire to see the little boy; to hold him in his arms; and hug him tightly. He couldn't explain it even if asked, but an inner voice demanded he must see Jack. He looked at Haley. "So he would be five now." He paused for a few seconds. "Do you think it's possible I could maybe see Jack?"
"The doctor doesn't think it's a good idea right now. At least not until more of your memory returns."
Hotch, appearing disappointed, simply nodded as he continued staring at the photo. He then covered his mouth with the back of his hand to cover up a yawn, but Haley saw it anyway. She reached for the photo album. "You're getting tired, so I'd better let you rest."
"Could you leave this here? Please?" Hotch asked as he slid down in bed eying the photo album. "I'd like to look though it some more."
Smiling, Haley took the album and sat it on the table beside the bed. "Of course. I'd be glad to." She then looked at her watch. "I'd better be going. The doctor said I could only visit for an hour. And besides, you need your rest." She started rising from the chair.
"Wait," Hotch suddenly said. Haley paused and looked at him puzzled. "Do you think you could stay."
"Why?" she asked sitting back down.
"I don't know. For some reason I feel a connection with you and I don't know why. But I would like to explore it a bit more. It might help me remember us."
Haley smiled. "Aaron, after losing you for three years, I am not letting you out of my sight again." She watched her husband close his eyes and soon she heard his breathing even out and a gentle snoring could be heard. She leaned back in the chair, crossed her legs, and folded her arms, never taking her eyes off the man she loved. She did, however, turn her head and looked around when she heard the door open and Rossi looked in. He smiled seeing Hotch sleeping peacefully. Haley quietly got up and with a final glance over her shoulder, silently exited the room to meet with Rossi and Reid. Both profilers noticed the slight smile on her face and knew immediately something had happened.
"He remembered Jack's name," she said excitedly. "He saw Jack's photo and knew immediately who he was."
"That's a good thing," answered Rossi. "Did he remember you at all?"
Her smile became a frown. "No. Nor did he remember us. But I'm hoping that will happen with time. But he did ask if he could see Jack."
"What did you tell him?" asked Reid.
"I told him the doctor didn't think it would be a good idea right now. He seemed to accept the explanation. But he asked me to leave the photo album with him so he could look through it some more."
"Sounds like he's trying to associate what he does recall with the faces in the album," Reid explained. "That's a good thing. It shows he's trying to recall people from his life."
"But the best thing is, he wants me to stay with him because he feels a connection to me even though he can't explain why." Haley touched the older man's arm. "David, I lost Aaron three years ago, and believed he was dead; and now I've got him back, so I'm not letting him out of my sight as long as he's hospitalized."
Rossi smiled affectionately. "You don't have to explain anything. We understand completely. Reid and I and the rest of the team are going to get something to eat. Can we bring you anything?"
"No. I'm fine. Thank you."
"The doctor said the team could visit Aaron this afternoon. He still hasn't met Morgan, Prentiss or Garcia. But for now we'll leave you alone with Aaron."
"Thank you," Haley said smiling before she returned to her husband's room.
Later that afternoon, Haley turned to see the door open and her husband's team quietly enter the room. She smiled at them. Other than Rossi, Reid, and JJ, Hotch eyed the others warily.
"How are you, Hotch?" asked Morgan cautiously, not wanting to get his hopes up.
"I'm okay," Hotch replied. "I'm sorry, but, what is your name?"
Morgan felt a pain in his chest. "I'm uh, Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan."
"Pleased to meet you. My name is Aaron. Aaron Hotchner, but they called me Hotch."
Rossi cleared his throat to ease the awkwardness in the room. He knew he had to be careful as far as introducing the remainder of the team. "Uh Aaron, these are the other people you worked with." He pointed to each person as he introduced them. "You know Reid. And you just met Morgan. Beside him is our Technical Analyst, Penelope Garcia." Hotch's eyes looked Garcia up and down and took in the brightly floral print dress, three inch heels, red framed glasses, not to mention her associated colored bracelets and rings which adorned each finger. He also noticed she was holding Morgan's hand.
"Are you two married?" Hotch asked.
Garcia's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she stared at Hotch. "Married? Me and the chocolate stud muffin here? No. No. No. No. We're just very good friends is all."
"Chocolate stud muffin?" Hotch asked chuckling.
Garcia then realized that this Hotch didn't remember the flirting that took place between her and Morgan and her lower lip quivered. "I apologize, sir. I mean, Agent Morgan." She clung more tightly to Morgan's hand as her tears began to roll down her cheeks. She slid the fingers of her free hand up under her glasses to wipe away the tears. "I'm sorry, sir."
Hotch seemed puzzled. "Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?"
"No, sir. It's just…just that…it's so hard seeing you here and knowing you don't remember us."
"I…I'm sorry."
Garcia smiled through her tears. "It's all right sir. It's not your fault. Don't worry about it."
Hotch was about to reply when his eyes fell on the woman beside her with long blond hair. "You must be the one they call JJ."
The blond smiled. "That's me."
"Reid told me your name is Jennifer Jareau but everybody calls you JJ." Hotch licked his lips. "I apologize for making you cry earlier. I was frightened, scared, frustrated and angry and I lashed out at you because you were a complete stranger to me. Again, I apologize."
JJ bit her lower lip as she forced herself with every fiber of her being to maintain control over her emotions. "Don't worry about it, Hotch. It's already forgotten."
Hotch then noticed a bit of black hair hiding behind JJ but couldn't see who it was. "Who's that hiding behind you?" he asked trying to get a look.
JJ glanced over her shoulder and grabbing the brunette's arm, shoved her gently forward. "This is Special Agent Emily Prentiss."
Hotch's expression, which had been relaxed although a bit nervous, suddenly changed and everybody saw it. His eyebrows knitted together and his eyes became hard. An angry expression appeared as he focused solely on Prentiss.
"You!" he snarled. "I thought you were dead, and you have the nerve to show up here? Get out!"
The remainder of the team looked at Haley and then at Hotch who was still focused on Prentiss.
Prentiss opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it, and shut it. Tears were starting to course down her face as she remained frozen in place, not understanding from where Hotch's rage was coming from and why it was directed at her. Looking at her teammates, Prentiss could see them looking at her with sympathy in their eyes. They couldn't understand Hotch's outburst either.
"C'mon, Hotch…" began Morgan.
"I said get out!" Hotch found himself shouting. He was becoming agitated. Haley got to her feet and put her hands on her husband's chest attempting to calm him.
"Aaron, calm down. Please." His heart monitor was beeping wildly.
"Somebody get her out of here!" Hotch could feel his chest tightening.
Haley turned towards Prentiss and looked at her with hard eyes. "I suggest you get out and stay away from Aaron," she hissed.
With a glance at Hotch and then her teammates, Prentiss bolted, sobbing, from the room.
"Emily, wait," JJ called after her as she followed her out of the room.
Hotch then let his head fall back on the pillow, closed his eyes, and exhaled deeply through his mouth. As Haley placed one hand on her husband's shoulder and stroked his dark hair with the other, the door opened and Dr. Sherman and a nurse hurried into the room looking concerned.
"Everybody out," Sherman ordered. "Now!"