The video had been all over the school in only a matter of hours. It had been posted on her Facebook. And one of the people that was only friends with her on there so she could bully her online as well saw it. That girl sent it to all her friends, who shared it with all their friends, then the entire school knew. Everyone went to school the next day, some people were fine, others were confused, and some were just barely stopping themselves from crying.
Alisha Thompson had committed suicide. She didn't do it on camera, or the video wouldn't have been posted, but everyone knew she had done it. She made a video, a pretty long video. But it wasn't just from one take, it was many takes. And it was clear from how her hair changed, that it was over many months… if not years. The video was simple, but very sad.
Alisha was sitting, it was clear she had used the web cam on her laptop to film it, it was also clear that the computer was sitting on her lap. There were a bunch of pictures and things on the wall behind her.
"Hello. None of you know who I am, but I know all of you. All seven hundred thirty eight students and faculty at Hollywood Arts. I can tell you the name of everyone there, but that's not why I'm here. I'm here to say good bye. My name is Alisha Thompson. I have been going to Hollywood arts since freshman year. I got in based on my singing, but never got recognized for it. Many of you probably actually find my face a little familiar, don't you? That's because almost every single one of you, had bullied me at one time or another. But today I'm making it end." She said, her voice even, her hair neon orange.
The video switched, now Alisha was sitting on her bed. The video was taken from a bit away; you could see her entire bed along with the wall behind here. There was a cluster of things there, pictures, playing cards, Pokémon cards, Naruto cards, figures glued to the wall. It was very clear she spent a lot of time making into exactly what she wanted it to be.
"Did you ever care? Any of you? I'm not trying to be mean, I just really want to know, did any of you ever give a dang about me? You shoved me aside, cursed at me, said rude things, ditched me for better things, stood me up for dates, why? What have I ever done to you? Nothing. The only thing I've ever tried to do was be your guys' friends. Even my best friend Kennedy left me, the one person in this world, that I needed, left me. Now I can't even remember what for. Maybe her new boyfriend, maybe her new friends, maybe her mom. Whatever it was, I was no longer important enough to have time spent on me… apparently."
Then the video switched, the picture of her was from slightly closer, as if it was set on her desk, she was sitting on her bed. The contrast from the first part wasn't much. There were just a few less things on the wall, and her hair was forest green. She took a deep breath before singing.
"I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep
I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask
Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain" You could see the shine of the overhead light on her eyes; tears were slipping into her eyes.
"In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me
I'm the cripple on the corner
You've passed me on the street
And I wouldn't be out here beggin'
If I had enough to eat
And don't think I don't notice
That our eyes never meet
I lost my wife and little boy when
Someone cross that yellow line
The day we laid them in the ground
Is the day I lost my mind" She had a small smile on her face when she sang the last line, as if thinking of the day she lost her own mind.
"And right now I'm down to holdin'
This little cardboard sign...so
Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names" That's when the dam on her tears broke, and they started slipping down her face.
"Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me" She got a small smile then, knowing the lyrics that were coming next.
"I'm fat
I'm thin
I'm short
I'm tall
I'm deaf
I'm blind, hey, aren't we all" She sang louder, as if getting more confidence in what she was singing.
"Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me" She ended the song, singing with her eyes closed on the last line.
She opened her eyes again, and wiped the tears from her face.
The angle of the video was the same, but her hair was teal and pink now, she sat with a strange smile on her face. It was as if she was caught between laughing manically and sobbing.
"There was one person, right after Kennedy left me, I had seen him around a bunch, but never got a chance to talk to him. I wanted to, I really did, but he was always so busy, with so many things, and I always felt so bad for not talking to him. But, after she left, I finally managed to find him alone, and I tried to talk to him, but he did what everyone else did. And I still don't understand why. He blew me off. He told me to meet him at a coffee shop after school to talk… I waited for five hours, never showed. Then when I tried to ask him about it on the slap when I got home. He just sent me a smiley face with an LOL. Nothing else. The next day, I tried to talk to him, but he ignored me. He didn't talk to me after that, and I even heard him one day talking to a friend, about how much of a loser I was. I still don't understand why… Why you did that Sinjin."
The video switched to a small view of her bed. The laptop was set by it, facing the ceiling. Alisha was looking down at the screen, her black and red striped hair casting a shadow on her face.
"There's a quote from Albert Einstein that was said on an episode of Criminal Minds, the one about the guy who was on that train, it's called Derailed. 'The question that sometimes drives me hazy, is am I, or the others crazy?' I think about this quote a lot. Because I genuinely don't know. It's easy to look around and say, these people are crazy. But maybe I'm the one who's crazy. For staying this long in a world where I'm hated. Even someone going through the exact same thing as me hates me. Sinjin Van Cleef is a bully victim. He was almost left to drown by Andre, and Tori was too disgusted by him to even attempt mouth to mouth to save his life. But he shunned me, just like the others. Just like the people shunned him.
"Are you really, are all you really that busy with your own lives, that you can't see how much harm you're causing to others? Not caring is running rampant," tears came into her eyes, and they showed in her voice. "And none of you care. You are all so worried about your newest break up, the new girl, your new relationship, your test, or whatever. That you can't see, how hurt the people you're cruel to are. Do you not see the… never mind. I'm not bringing that up. You're welcome Sinjin; your secret is still safe. And yes I know about it, I know a great deal of things about a great deal of people, probably because nobody bothered to see me, they didn't know I was around."
Again the video changed, it was a long shot of an entire wall of her room. She was pacing, her orange and blue hair in pigtails.
"No one ever saw me, I was invisible, so I learned everything. I know big things about every single person at that school, huge things. And I could say them all right now; I could say them and get many people in trouble. But I won't. Those secrets will die with me… literally. So don't worry Beck, Jade, Tori, Trina, Robbie, Rex, Cat, Andre, Sabrina, Catherine, Timothy, Austin, Andrew, Kimmy, Lenny, Bill, Will, Mark, Arthur, I won't tell your secret. Oh, and Jasmine, Theodore, Ted, Abbey, Marshall, Robin, Holly, Buck, Jane, Chris, Stella, Lilly, Zack, Victor, Whitney, Kevin, Kyle, Carl, your secrets are safe as well. Plus everyone else, and trust me, out of all the students and staff there, I know at least one incriminating thing about each of them. You guys really should have paid more attention.
"And I would tell you all those secrets, in fact, I really should… but then that would make me like you. Sure I'm going to commit suicide, but that doesn't make me worse than you. You are all carelessly thinking only of yourself, only looking out for yourself. So while I point a gun at my head, or take a blade to my wrist, at least I'll have pride, in knowing I did not senselessly drive someone to being this desperate. I could take said go to school, shoot everyone, make you remember me. Make you FINALLY see the harm you've caused. But again, that would make me like you. So, I don't think I'll use the gun, or blade. I think I'll take a page from someone I admire so greatly, and use a pair of scissors."
The video changed to be a bit farther away, like on a desk, and it showed her sitting on her bed, the rainbow in her hair.
"Oh, and Kennedy, do you wanna know why I was really so upset about you leaving me? It's because I'm in love with you. Not like a sister, like I would marry you, and have children with you. Raise them together, gay marriage is becoming more and more legal, it wouldn't be that hard. But you don't like me like that. I only wish I had had the courage to tell you how in love with you I am while I was alive. I'm sorry, but I couldn't. It terrified me too much. But I'm in love with you, now you know."
A new part of the video played then. Her hair was bright pink now, and there were even more pictures on the wall behind her. The camera looked to be in about the same place as before.
"So this is my good bye. But you don't care, do you? Well congratulations everyone… neither do I. Good bye forever, from me Alisha Jenna Thompson."
Then the video went black.