Kidoumaru was usually confident in his abilities to determine another's behavior. From Tayuya, he had discerned that no matter what he did, she would hurl an insult or two his way, occasionally making up for it with a gruff apology that would quickly turn into an insult again. With the twins, Sakon was the more brash and callous one, the one that tended to pick fights with others, even his teammates; Ukon was the one who was more or less the peacemaker when he wasn't riled up as well. And Jiroubou—well, he was Jiroubou. Sarcastic, a bit brash, and really talented when it came to pushing your buttons, but when it came down to it he'd be the most likely one to help you out of your bad days. As for Sasuke, he was Orochimaru's pet and tended to be a bit of a brat when encountered by people that actually gave a damn about how he was doing today. No problems there.

The problem was Kimimaro.

Kimimaro had, time and time again, proved himself to be a stumper in Kidoumaru's abilities. Whenever Kidoumaru thought he'd irritated the elder man with the correct word or action, he was immediately proved wrong by Kimimaro turning the other cheek. When Kidoumaru thought he had sated the white-haired Kaguya, it ended up with the spider-like man pinned to the floor with an incredibly sharp bone next to his throat and/or through his intestines. At the very end, Kidoumaru gave up on analyzing Kimimaro and tried to avoid him when possible—but not obviously. Obviously meant fear.

And in short, when it came to Kimimaro, Kidoumaru was scared shitless.

So today, after a long, hard day of training, when he turned around to find the Kaguya heading straight for him, he almost jumped out of his sandals.

But he didn't.

Instead, he glanced around the courtyard for anyone else in sight, in case Kimimaro was looking for someone else. Having no such luck, he looked up as Kimimaro was progressively getting closer and closer to him. Oh God, what had he done now? He was pretty sure he hadn't done anything to warrant another beating, and Kimimaro wasn't the type, anyways, but maybe he had done something stupid? Maybe Kimimaro had found out about the candy stash he had raided last week—

Kidoumaru's mind was still in overdrive when Kimimaro walked straight up to him and stopped but about two meters away. Green eyes bored into Kidoumaru's, and Kidoumaru's thinking process proceeded to shut completely down.

He was going to die, wasn't he? Damn, he hadn't even made his will yet! Which was a pretty stupid idea not to, but he hadn't thought there reason for it until now. Quickly, he began to think. He would leave his technical and fiction books to Tayuya, the only one out of the group beside himself who really appreciated them. Sakon and Ukon would get any weapons he had left over, and Jiroubou would get the rest of his chocolate stash and the very few cooking books Kidoumaru actually—

"Kabuto has informed me that I am ill."

Kidoumaru blinked.

Well.

Maybe he wasn't.

But why tell Kidoumaru?

"You got another one?" Kidoumaru said before he could stop himself.

Okay, now he was.

Immediately, Kimimaro's eyes narrowed, taking another step forward. Kidoumaru found that he could not move for the fact that one, he was backed up already into a training post, and two, he was pretty damn sure that if he didn't move, Kimimaro wouldn't be able to see him anymore. Dinosaur Kimimaro. Yeah.

"Do not make light of this," Kimimaro said shortly, sounding more irritated than Kidoumaru had ever heard him in his life. "This is your doing."

Kidoumaru blinked again. This time, all three eyes, though the third no one could see.

"Sorry?"

"I am ill," Kimimaro said slowly, and less irritated this time, "with a disease that Kabuto says is called the 'Crush'. It induces feelings of affection from one human being to another, and I cannot have that hindering my work for Lord Orochimaru."

Kidoumaru was pretty sure that his heart had decided to give out, as well as the path of blood and oxygen to his brain. Surely he hadn't heard that. Really. There was no way that Kimimaro of all people would say that. Well, not unless it was to Lord Orochimaru because Kidoumaru had always known (hell, everyone knew) that Kimimaro was crazy for him, but never to any of Kimimaro's teammates.

Right?

"So you're saying," Kidoumaru said just as slowly as his elder, "that you have a crush on me."

Kimimaro's brow furrowed. "You have heard of this disease?"

"Disease? What—" Kidoumaru stopped. Wait. Kimimaro really believed that this was a disease, didn't he? Which meant that he had to be at least a little bit freaked out. Which also meant that—

Kidoumaru was in an advantageous situation right now.

Revenge was never Kidoumaru's style. He had seen enough with it when Sasuke came into the Sound village, and he didn't want anything to do with the stuff. No, what was his style were finding assets.

Assets to the game.

If Kimimaro really did have a crush on him, no matter how little, then that could benefit Kidoumaru on the battlefield. It could also give Kimimaro reason to ease up on him during training, and while his fellow teammates might scowl at him for that, did give them an advantage as well. This would mean that they at least had some hold over Kimimaro, Orochimaru's once favorite and a threat. And though Kidoumaru wasn't exactly gay (he wasn't sure what he was, really—none of the Sound were), he was fairly sure that he could pull it off.

For once in his life, Kidoumaru could have kissed Kabuto right then and there. Or at least given him a handshake. The guy still gave him the willies.

"Well, um, I'm sorry." Quickly, he smiled at Kimimaro. It was a quick thing, fleeting, but it was a test.

And sure enough, the Kaguya blinked, looking away for a brief second before looking back.

Kidoumaru wasn't sure whether to be glad or horrified.

Don't get him wrong—it was a bit relieving to see that the Kaguya actually had human emotions, fucked up or not as they were. Even though they had taken nineteen years to develop. On the other hand, it was a bit eerie to see the once stoic Kimimaro actually break someone's gaze to look away and quickly redeem himself.

"Kabuto has also informed me," Kimimaro continued on, "that in order to cure this, I must tell you of this disease."

Kidoumaru nodded, suppressing a grin. "Which you just did."

"Yes." Here, Kimimaro paused. "He has also informed me that the first step in clearing this illness is to ask you on a date. I told him that I did not know what to ask you and I was not sure of the date that he was referring to, but—"

Kimimaro stopped. Kidoumaru was staring at him with eyes bulging out of his head, and he began to cough, pounding himself on the chest with two of his right arms.

"What is the matter?"

"Nothing," Kidoumaru choked out, eyes watering. "Nothing. Just—uh—a date. Really? He said that?"

Kimimaro nodded, and Kidoumaru could see in his eyes that he was—he was worried. It was only a smidgen, barely enough to be counted humane, but it was there.

How bad was this crush, really?

"Well, um," Kidoumaru coughed, straightening and clearing his throat several times. "Do you know what kind of a date he's referring to, Kimimaro?"

The elder hesitated, and Kidoumaru could see that his pride was flaring. Instantly, he held up his hands—all six of them—in an attempt to make peace. "Okay, okay, I guess you do."

"I…" Kimimaro struggled with himself for a moment before a flicker in his eyes indicated that the pride had been pushed to the side for the moment. "I do not."

Damn. This crush must really be bad.

"Well, a date is just a kind of event, you see, where a person takes another person out to a place to just—hang out. You know?" Kidoumaru had never felt so awkward in his life. Well, there was that one time where he had walked in on Sakon and Ukon in the shower together when they were twelve, and they hadn't been doing anything weird or anything, but it wasn't like Kidoumaru had ever wanted to see them naked. But hadn't Kabuto bothered to explain to Kimimaro what he was saying at all? And why hadn't Kimimaro asked Kabuto?

Oh.

Damn, Kabuto could be sly when he wanted to be.

"Hang out?"

"Be together," Kidoumaru quickly explained, resisting the urge to rub the back of his head. No signs of weakness, Kidoumaru.

"I see," Kimimaro mused. "Then, that is a cure?"

Kidoumaru shrugged. "If the doc says so, I guess it is."

A brief silence.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Will you go with me on this date?"

Kidoumaru finally gave into the urge and scratched the back of his head. "Sure, why not." Then he tilted his head to the side. "When and where d'you want to go?"

Second chapter, the only one for now. Significantly lower quality than chapter one, but I'm working on it? I'm also going to be really busy from now on, and I'm just posting when I can - which is now. :P Don't expect much for a while until I get ahold of my schedule.

Thanks, Minotaur, for reviewing! :D