I was crying in my sleep.
I know because when I gently press my hand to my cheek, I can feel the teardrops rolling. Wiping them away, I peel the covers off my body and cautiously let my feet swing to the floor. For the first time, I notice how soft the carpeting is. Falling down on it, I roll onto my stomach and cry. Today, I am going into the arena.
There's a soft knock at the door. Suddenly I jerk myself off the ground, dry my tears with the covers of my bed, and go to open the door. Before I put my hand on the doorknob, I check the clock. 6:45. I wrap my fingers around the cool silver handle and open it.
"Regan," I whisper as he embraces me.
"Hello, Evelyn," he says softly. There is no one that could bring me greater comfort. I let him hold me, and feeling his warmth is all I need.
"You can come in," I offer. But I know he doesn't want to. I'm trying to save time before I'm thrown to my death.
"No," he answers. "We have to get you ready." He gives my hand a sympathetic squeeze, and I follow him to the Styling Room, as I call it, after eating breakfast.
The prep team meets me and we go through the motions. When I'm all ready, Regan gets me dressed in a simple full body suit that has stretchy fabric and is blue and black. He puts my hair in a ponytail with the usual braid, and asks me if I would like to keep one thing in the arena. I ask him to give me one of the pearls from the interview dress, so he leaves and comes back a moment later with a tiny pearl.
"How will I keep it?" I ask.
"Here," he says, and begins to mess with my ponytail, securing it in the spot where the braid goes into the hairband. "You can take it out whenever you want, but there's no pockets in your suit so you'll always have to put it back here." I toss my black hair back and forth, making sure it's secure. I take it out and put it back in, making sure I can do it. Finally, Regan leads me to the area where we will be lifted into the arena and we are met by Symma, Eila, and Corvin, who is wearing an outfit identical to mine.
"You both have plans, right?" asks Eila one more time. We went over this at breakfast, but now she seems much more concerned. I nod. My plan is to stick to myself and trust no one. Especially Corvin.
Corvin nods as well, and whispers in my ear, "One through Four, seven, watch out. Trust Eight, Eleven, and Six." I nod.
"Corvin?" I whisper back. I know that the adults aren't paying attention to us. They're chatting in the corner of the room.
"Yes?" he asks, playing with my hair.
"Will I ever see you again?" I'm suddenly terrified. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.
"I promise," He answers, giving my neck a kiss.