Title: Dirty Little Secret
Chapter: 15
Summary: Caroline Forbes is a lot of things. Neurotic, controlling and insecure being top of the list, but one thing she is not is stupid. So she knows that something is seriously up with childhood friend (and occasional enemy) Tyler Lockwood. She's determine to figure out why all the sudden he's acting as if he's seen a ghost and why he looks at her all the time with a heat she doesn't understand. As she digs deeper, she finds out about a whole new world she didn't know existed and- despite her lack of knowledge- how she's part of it. AU.
Author's Note: Wooooohooo! Over 200 reviews (: You guys make me so happy. Sorry about the time it took for this update. A storm knocked out my internet and the people took their sweet time fixing it.
Maybe it was the way he slept with his lips slightly parted or the way his eyelashes seemed to fan over his cheeks that made him look so young and innocent. It was like all the bad just disappeared and he was at peace. It reminded her of before- not just before the werewolf curse was triggered, but before they grew out of their innocence. It reminded her of when they were little and the weight of the world hadn't touched their shoulders yet. When they were happy, content, carefree. Young.
She'd been watching him all night. Sometime after she embraced him last night, exhaustion had consumed him and he'd fallen asleep with his head on her shoulder. He'd stayed asleep as she pushed him down onto the bed, though he unconsciously fisted the material of her shirt in his hands. She hadn't wanted to wake him, so she laid down beside him and watched him sleep until the sun was high in the sky.
Goldenlight streamed through the windows, chasing away all the shadows that had surrounded them last night. In the light, the horrors of last night didn't seem possible. They seemed silly- something meant to scare children. Bathed in light, she could almost convince herself last night was just a dream. She could almost convince herself she wasn't in Tyler Lockwood's bed because he had broken down after telling her the truth. Almost.
Almost just wasn't good enough anymore. Almost wasn't enough to make her feel better. Almost wasn't enough to erase the panic she felt inside her, growing by the minute. Almost wasn't enough for her to ignore the truth.
Last night had opened an entirely new world to her- one that terrified the hell out of her. Not only was she introduced to it, she learned she was a part of it. Because of this boy laying beside her. This boy with his head on her shoulder and his hand on her stomach. This beautiful boy who terrified her and intrigued her and made her feel like no one else could. Whether it was making her want to scream or cry or laugh, he invoked things inside her that belonged to solely him.
There was no denying the hold he had on her. She'd felt it for quite awhile, though she had no name for it. Now that she had a name for it, she felt both relieved and terrified. Relieved because there wasn't something wrong her. Relieved because there was reason, logic behind her strange emotions. But the very same reason terrified the wits out of her. She was so deeply connected to him. She knew with certainty if she gave into this feeling inside of her, she'd never let him go.
She felt a different emotion bubble inside of her. It was one nearly as strong as the former: panic. This couldn't be her life. How did she begin to accept all of this? Her world had shattered into a million different pieces last night and staying with him wouldn't help her put the pieces back together. She needed normalcy and Tyler Lockwood couldn't give her that.
She'd promised him she wouldn't run him. She'd promised him that no matter what he told her, she would never leave him. But that was last night when she was in the dark and desperately searching for an answer. Now, in the light, she knew she was going to have to break that promise.
Bringing in a shuddering breath, she gently lifted his hand from her stomach and laid it on the mattress. She slowly wiggled her shoulder out from underneath him, careful not to wake him. She wasn't sure what she would say if he woke up. He was still breathing deeply- lost in sleep- when she stepped onto the floor. Even though she knew the expensive floor of his bedroom wouldn't creek, she still tiptoed all the way to the door and opened it slowly. She hesitated for a moment, watching his sleeping form. She felt something wet roll down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. "I'm sorry," she whispered and closed the door behind her.
She prayed all the way down the stairs that she wouldn't run into Mason. Something about him… unnerved her and it was more than the fact that he was a werewolf. Mason was just too… he was just too something.
She glanced over the banister of the stairs into the kitchen. Much to her relief, she saw no sign of Mason or anyone else for that matter. She nearly sprinted down the last few steps, taking them two at a time. Just a little bit farther, she thought to herself. Just a little bit-
He appeared literally out of nowhere. One second, she was alone and the next, Mason was standing in front of the door with his arms crossed over his chest and a hard expression on his face.
"Going somewhere?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
She swallowed, suddenly feeling very nervous. "Yes, actually," she said, relieved that her voice didn't shake. "Home. Now if you'll excuse me."
He didn't move.
Shetried not to look intimidated, though it took a lot of effort. Has Mason always been so big? She thought to herself.
"You look nervous, Caroline," he said, tilting his head to the side in a faux-innocent manner. "I'm assuming Tyler told you everything last night."
The way he said her name… it sparked something inside of her. Anger. "Right down to how you beat your friend to death," she quipped, narrowing her eyes at him. "Sorry if that makes me slightly uneasy around you."
"Don't look at me like that," he said, sounding more tired than mad. "You don't know the whole story."
"And I don't want to," she said. "I don't want to know about any of this actually."
"Yes you do," he said. "You wanted to know or else you wouldn't have come last night. After all, it's better to know the truth than to be left in the dark."
That's what she'd thought too. Now she wasn't so sure. "Not all the time," she said. "Sometimes whether you like it or not, being in the dark is best."
He chose to ignore that. "Where's Tyler?" he asked.
"Upstairs. Asleep."
He was quiet for a moment. For once, Caroline didn't try and fill the silence. She had nothing to say. Finally he said, "You aren't coming back, are you?"
She sighed and ran a hand over her face. "I need time," she said. "To process this and…" She couldn't bring herself to say "accept." She wasn't sure if that was possible.
"He's going to need you, you know," Mason said.
She ignored the little pain that shot through her chest. "He's been doing just fine without me."
Mason shook his head. "No, he hasn't."
"You can try and guilt trip me all you want," she said quietly. "But either way, I'm walking through that door."
He sighed. "I'm not trying to guilt trip you into anything, Caroline," Mason said. He sounded so genuine she almost believed him. "I'm just trying to make you understand that ignoring this won't make it go away. The more you fight it, the harder it will be."
She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest in silence. Deep down she knew that Mason was right, but she couldn't bring herself to go back upstairs and face what was waiting for her.
"You know I'm right," he said.
"Just- just tell Tyler I'm sorry," she said, feeling the sting in her eyes that meant she was close to crying. "Tell him he's strong and he doesn't need me."
"I won't lie to him," he said. "And I can't force you to stay, but you should know that he needs you in his life right now. Even if it's just as a friend, he needs you. Just because you put distance between the two of you, it won't make him need you any less. Think about that, would you?"
With that, he took a step to the side so she could leave.
She only hesitated a second before opening the door and walking to her car.
She was only in the car for a minute before the tears came. She wasn't sure exactly what she was crying about. Maybe it was because of the mess her life had become or what Mason had said or maybe a combination of it all. She felt guilty for leaving, but relieved at the same time.
She wiped her nose and glanced at the clock. Her eyes bugged a little when she saw the time. It was 2:04 in the afternoon.
"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap," she said, patting her pockets in search of her cell phone. She realized a minute later that she'd left her cell phone at home.
She was dead. Her mom was going to ground her, murder her, resurrect her from the dead and kill her again. She'd been gone for nearly twenty four hours without a word to anyone about where she was. Bonnie probably thought she was dead in a ditch somewhere after their conversation right before she went in search of Tyler.
She pushed down on the gas hoping that if she got home sooner, maybe her punishment would be a little less.
It took her a few miles to realize she didn't want to go home and face her mother. She didn't want to face anyone, but she had to let someone know she was okay. Having decided that, she turned left at the intersection and made her way to Bonnie's house.
Only Bonnie's car was in the driveway of the Bennett's house when she pulled up, which she was fervently grateful for. She didn't want Mr. Bennett calling her mom.
After cutting off the engine, Caroline made her way up to the door and knocked, her stomach doing little flip flops. Maybe Liz wouldn't even get the chance to kill her. Maybe Bonnie would do it first.
The door opened, revealing a very worried, very tired looking Bonnie. She was in jeans, an old t-shirt and no makeup. Dark bags formed crescent moons underneath her eyes, making her look older than seventeen.
The brunette's eyes widened when she realized it was Caroline. In a flash, she had reached out and crushed Caroline into a hug. The girl was a lot stronger than Caroline thought- she wouldn't be surprised if she had bruises.
"Ohmigod, Caroline I'm so happy you're okay!" Bonnie exclaimed, pulling back to look Caroline over. When she saw no visible sign of injuries, her eyes darkened. "Where in the hell have you been?" she all but yelled.
Before Caroline could defend herself or beg for mercy, Bonnie was pulling her into the house and shutting the door behind her. "Bonnie, I-" Caroline began.
"Do you know how worried I've been?" Bonnie said, her hands on her hips. "I have been calling you all night. I went out looking for you! Matt and I drove around all night trying to find you! I thought you were dead."
"I can explain- wait, did you say you and Matt were out looking for me?" Caroline asked.
"Yeah," Bonnie snapped. "He called me to ask if I knew where you were because apparently, you were suppose to meet him at the Grill but you never showed up."
Caroline opened her mouth to explain but Bonnie was pulling her cell phone out from her pocket and dialing a number. She didn't dare ask who it was.
"Hey Matt," Bonnie said. "Yeah. She's here. She's fine. I don't know. Can you call Elena and tell her she's okay? Thanks. Bye."
"Bonnie, I am so sorry," Caroline said the moment Bonnie hung up.
"Do you know how scared I was, Care?" Bonnie asked. "I tell you I think Tyler's in danger and you run off, saying you know where he is and then no one hears from you for nearly a day. I thought something had happened to you."
Caroline shook her head. "I'm fine," she said. After a pause she added, "And so is Tyler."
Bonnie's eyes widened. "You found him?"
She nodded.
"And he's okay?"
Caroline bit her lip and said, "He will be."
"So would you like to explain to me exactly what happened?"
Caroline wanted to tell Bonnie what had happened so bad it hurt. She wished with all her heart she could tell her, but she knew she couldn't. It wasn't her secret to tell. "I found Tyler," she said vaguely. "He wasn't hurt, but he needed me. I stayed at his house the entire night. I just left maybe twenty minutes ago."
"Is that all you're going to tell me? Are you serious?"
"I want to tell you," Caroline said, willing her friend to understand. "But I just can't. It isn't my story to tell. All you need to know is that Tyler and I are okay." At least physically okay, she added in her head.
While Bonnie was still visibly upset, all the anger had left her eyes. "Fine," she said, sounding resigned. "I respect that. I wish I didn't, but I do."
"Thank you," Caroline said, her shoulders sagging in relief. "If it makes you feel any better, my mom's going to kill me when I get home."
Bonnie chuckled, but shook her head. "She called last night asking where you were and I told her you were with me. I told her you were staying the night and wouldn't be home until later today."
Caroline felt a swell of happiness and crushed her best friend into a hug. "Thank you," she said. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
"You're welcome," Bonnie said, returning the hug. "But if you ever do that again I will kick your ass."
"I know and I swear-" she was cut off by the sound of a knock on the door.
"Whose that?" Caroline asked.
Bonnie bit her lip, suddenly looking guilty. "Matt."
Caroline cursed and ran a hand through her hair. She wasn't ready for this conversation yet.
"I'm sorry," Bonnie said, "but he was just as worried as I was. You owe him an explanation."
"I know," Caroline said sighing. "I know."
With that, Bonnie walked to the door and opened it. Matt stormed in, looking like an angry bull in his brown jacket and jeans. He looked just as tired as Bonnie, but quite a bit more mad. She imagined steam coming out of his nose.
"I'll let you two talk," Bonnie said quietly and made her way up the stairs.
It wasn't until they heard Bonnie's door close that Matt started. "Where in the hell have you been?" he nearly growled.
"I-"
"We looked for you all night!" he exclaimed. "I wanted to call the police but Bonnie wouldn't let me. I thought something had happened to you, Care!"
"I now," she said quietly. "And I'm sorry for not calling anyone, but-"
"You better have a pretty damn good excuse," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
Caroline took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she knew was about to come. "I was with Tyler," she said.
The anger seeped out of his eyes, replaced by shock and disbelief. He opened his mouth and then closed it. His eyebrows furrowed and finally he said, "Tyler?"
She nodded.
"And what exactly where you doing with Tyler all night and half the day?" he asked lowly, the anger making a slow reappearance.
"He needed me, Matt," Caroline said shrugging slightly. "I couldn't just leave him."
"He needed you?" Matt asked incredulously. "He needed you to do what exactly?"
"To be there," she said.
"Did something happen between you two?" he asked. "Tell me the truth."
"No," she said flatly. Was he honestly accusing her of cheating on him? With his best friend? What kind of girl did he think she was exactly?
"Of course it didn't," he said bitterly.
"It didn't!" Caroline said, her voice rising to nearly a shout.
"Yeah, right," Matt said. "I know Tyler well enough to know that with him, something always happens."
Caroline felt the irrational need to defend- to protect- Tyler. "If you knew him so well, you would know that he has been falling apart for the last few weeks. If you knew him so well, you would know that he needs someone to be there for him right now."
"And that someone is you," Matt said flatly.
"He has no one, Matt," Caroline said. "His dad is dead, his mom is hardly around. Mason is unreliable and his best friend is more concerned that his girlfriend is cheating on him than he is about anything else."
Matt's voice was cool as he said, "Tyler is a big boy. He doesn't need someone to hold his hand and tell him everything's going to be alright."
"He was a wreck last night," Caroline said, trying to push the images that were threatening to creep up away. "Leaving him alone would have been cruel."
"So is making your friends and boyfriend worry to death," he countered.
Caroline threw her arms up in the air. "What do you want me to do, Matt?" she exclaimed. "Tell Tyler to deal with his own problems? Never talk to him again?"
"Yes," he said flatly.
Caroline laughed a humorless laugh. "That's not going to happen and the Matt that I know would never even suggest it. The Matt that I know would be worried about his best friend."
"Yeah, well, maybe I'm just not that guy anymore."
"Well then maybe you should just leave," she said coldly. "Because if you aren't that guy anymore, I don't want to be with this one."
The meaning behind her words seemed to register with him. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Shaking his head, he turned and stormed away. The sound of the door slamming seemed to echo throughout the entire house.
As a side note, I made a Twitter account. I know, I know. I've crossed to the dark side. Anyway, follow me for story updates/ideas/etc. Username: sarah_serenity
I know this chapter was kind of a whirl wind of emotions and I'm sorry for that. Next chapter will have lots of Forwood, a little action and a little insight as to what's really going on.