Compulsive Noties!
Okay, so this chapter is REALLY long for chapters how long I usually post. That's because you meet Sasuke's "Family". And since we all know the Akatsuki so well, we know that a few of their obsesssions are...a bit illigal in the real world. Lucky enough for them, they haven't and won't be caught. Do to their LOADS and LOADS of money. Anyway, I put some deep thought, and consideration, AND looked up a few things to make their life make sense. And this isn't a filler, right? I mean, it's important to the plot line...
Oh! And side note, I watched this movie called Crash yesterday (new fave) It's an amazing movie. If you ever consider renting a movie get that one!
Starts with Naru POV
I picked up Sasuke after work and dropped by Sakura's.
I sighed unlocking the front door of her house. Sasuke was behind me he seemed just as nervous about this as I. I opened the door tentatively.
"Sakura-chan?"
"In the kitchen!" She called. I gulped and looked back at him, before continuing in.
"I brought someone I want you to meet." I exhaled sharply.
"Oh really now? I had a feeling you would." She came out of the kitchen in her P.J. pants, and an old tank top. Her hair was up in a bun, and she was eating a granola bar. She lifted it up to her mouth and bit it, but when she did her jaw dropped a bit, exposing the granola piece.
"Who is this?" She pointed with the granola bar.
"Uhm...Sasuke?"
"Uchiha." She finished. I looked at Sasuke whose jaw was opened a bit more. I clapped my hands shut and licked my lips.
"I take it you know each other?"
"No, Naruto, you know me, I can read minds! And finishing people's names is just half the fun!" She sneered sarcasticly, giving me a dirty look.
The continued staring at each other before I blurted out,
"Is anyone gonna speak, dammit!" Sasuke looked down and raised his hand.
"We...dated at one time..." I turned to her confused,
"You didn't say anything about this!"
"Yeah, probably because he was an ass the whole time! It lasted three weeks!" He shot her a dirty look.
"That's because you were sleeping with my friends, and flirting with them even when I was around!"
"Shut the hell up, ya damn teme!" She spat.
"No, Sakura, you shut up! Before you could be mean to him, but now he's my b-boyfriend!" Wow, it's been a while since I could actually say that with dignity. She finished chewing and rolled her eyes.
"That piece of shit's your new boy-toy?"
"No! My boyfriend! And if your not gonna be nice, we'll leave!" I turned to leave,
"Come on, Saskue-kun."
"So Sasuke, couldn't find a girlfriend so you switched teams?" He turned to her, and slapped her. I looked back and there she was holding her hurt face.
"Just because you can't have Naruto, doesn't mean you get to be catty like you own him. He doesn't want you. He wants me. And you want to know why? Because I can give him the love and respect any woman of your kind ever could. Now go call up someone else of your nature, who has no emotional feelings for you, while I go and satisfy my guy. Okay, bitch?"
He turned and walked past me, grabbing my collar,
"Come on Naruto, let's go." She held her face and looked down. And although I felt sorry for her, at the same time, I felt no sympathy toward her.
When we got to the car I sat down in the driver's seat and looked over at him, gripping the steering wheel.
"Well, that's didn't go how I wanted at all! What really happened between you guys? I've never seen her so mean!"
"Our relationship was short lived for one reason. And one reason only. We were set up on a blind date, I didn't like her, she didn't like me. We dated for a week and didn't call each other at all. I found out she was sleeping with my friend. We kept dating. One night I walked into my apartment and she was in bed with another guy. I mean I wasn't crushed or anything, just extremely pissed. I mean what was she doing in my apartment, fucking another guy!"
"How did she get in?"
"The guy she was with was a really good friend of mine. I had given him a key, and he had come in to her, naked. She took full advantage of his weakened state."
"Weakened state?"
"Being horny."
"Oh..." I trailed off.
"We never fixed things. I don't wanna fix things. What she did was wrong. She knows it. That's why I never want to talk to her again. I should have recognized the name, the descriptions. But I didn't...Oh well, it felt good to slap her." I looked around and started the car.
"Where are we going?"
"My place. And Monday you gonna meet my 'Family'." I nodded.
"Got it."
.-:-.
Sasu
When I got back from my break the store was empty. Just me and Lee. I liked it when it was quiet in here. I mean it was quiet a lot, but...when it was lonely in here.
"Sorry I missed work yesterday, Sensei." He said putting price tags on little things.
"It's okay Lee-kun." I replied mindlessly doing some paperwork. He stopped,
"Kun?" I stopped relising what I had just said.
"Did you just say Lee-'kun'?" He asked putting down the stickers.
"Uhm...no?" I had never called Lee 'Lee-kun', because he was just a helper. But being with Naruto so often made it easy to forget what I should and should not do with Lee. I guess I could say I was emotionally attached to Lee. He was like a little brother. So 'Kun' was alright...
"Yes you did Sensei! You did!" He ran up and hugged me.
"Oh Sensei, you have just made me the happiest person in the whole world!" I rubbed his head,
"Okay. I'm glad your happy." I said, trying really hard to breath. He let go,
"Sorry Uchiha-san."
"Don't worry about it, now I think you have some price tags to stick."
"Oh yeah!" He said walking back.
-:-
It was Monday, and time for Naruto to meet everyone. I sighed as I knocked on his door. He came out with a big smile on his face,
"Good morning Sasuke!" He kissed my forehead and headed for my car.
"Your in a good mood today..."
"Why wouldn't I be?" He said bouncing into my car.
"Probably because your going to go meet some of the craziest, scariest people you'll ever see in you life."
"I dought that."
"Right now you do. These people have scared away half the people I've ever met. They're part of the reason I'd rather be alone all my life." I started the car and headed for their complex.
"So where do they live anyway?" He inquired flipping down the mirror.
"Okay, so this is how it works. There are ten of them, including Itachi and Kisame. Kisame and Itachi live in one condo, Pein and Konan live in one, Tobi and Zetsu each have their own, Sasori and Deidara have one of their own, and Hidan and Kakuzu have their own. There are six. We'll go to each condo, and spend a little time with them. Depending on what mood they're in. They should all like you, there's no reason for them not to. And we'll probably end up eating dinner with them."
"Do they have a big room for that?"
"Yeah. I even have my own little room up in Itachi's condo. He keeps it for me just in case I need it. They own their own company which is why the own the whole building, and had it built for them alone. And they wanted to live so close so they could keep a good eye on the business. Plus they're all really good friends."
"Wow."
"That's not even the most amazing part. They actually work hard to keep it up and running!" We both laughed.
"Anyway. Things should go pretty smoothly, if not, then we're gonna have a hard time getting out."
"It's eleven." He said, as I pulled up to the building.
"Yeah, and...?"
"We're gonna have dinner with them?"
"Well they eat dinner around five, and we're probably gonna spend about an hour with everybody...so..."
"Ah." He said as I turned off the car. We walked to the front and he eyed the building. I put my hand out and he grabbed it.
I pushed open the front door.
"Good morning, Janet."
"Oh...who is this, Sasuke?" She smiled.
"I made a change in my life," I said, looking over it him,
"A change for the better." I smiled.
"That's good to hear. You here to see your Uncles?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I was just wondering why they canceled so many appointments today, they kept saying something about leaving it available, but never told me why."
"I just told them last Wednesday."
"Hmm. Okay. Well, here you go." She approved, handing me my tracker.
"Bye Janet."
"Bye, Sasuke-kun!"
When we got on the elevator Naruto looked at the colorful blinking lights.
"What's this? Who was that?"
"This is a tracking device, I put a little chip in all of their food a long time ago. Only me and Janet know about it. It stuck to their intestine. I always know where they are. That was Janet, their secretary. She works really hard to keep things in line for them. She's really nice, she's like my Aunt." He nodded.
"And since Itachi's in the shower, and Deidara is cooking, we're gonna go see Hidan and Kakuzu."
"Is that thing even legal?"
"When you meet them you'll understand why I don't care if it's legal or not." The elevator stopped on the fourth floor. We walked down the hall and knock on the door.
.-:-.
Naru
"If it's Itachi, you better be wearing some fucking clothes this time." A voice called.
"Nope. Hidan, it's me!" Sasuke called back at the voice. If my calculations were correct, Hidan we in here with Kakuzu. That's what Sasuke said, right?
The door swung open and there was a tall man with grey hair slicked back. He grabbed and pulled him into a noogie.
"You little fucker, you waited to fucking long to come see us again. I'm gonna fucking kill your ass, you better pray to Jashin that Kakuzu will fix you!"
"Okay, okay, okay! Stop, please!" Sasuke laughed. He let go Sasuke and looked at me.
"This is Naruto. He's my lover."
"Oh..." He said nodded.
"Well welcome to our fucking place." He said outreaching his hand. He smiled. We walked in, and Hidain called to the back of the condo,
I had a feeling that everyone was going to be pretty accepting of us.
"Kakuzu, get your fuckin' ass out here. We got company! And this time, don't fuckin' embarrass me!" We walked in and sat on the couch. Kakuzu was wearing a long sleeved black shirt with long black pants. He wore a stylish hat, and a scarf that covered most of his face. They sat on the other end of the coffee table, next to each other.
"You know, Sasuke, I've noticed you don't say 'Kami', like a lot of people do."
"That's probably because of Hidan. He has always said 'Jashin'. And I just picked it up after a while. I don't follow his religion, but I do tend to say 'Jashin' a lot."
"What's wrong with my fucking religion?"
"Nothing. I just don't follow it."
"Fuck you very much, too."
"Hidan, don't take it so offensively." Kakuzu said.
"And you should go fall off a fucking bridge!"
"Done that. Twice. Both of which you pushed me."
"Shut the fuck up."
After an hour of their fighting, and small conversation, we left. In the elevator, I turned to him,
"What parts do they play in the company?"
"Kakuzu's Treasurer, and let me tell you, a real penny pincher. And Hidan helps him, but watching the income."
"Hmm." I mumbled, contemplating who else would be in charge of what.
"Next up is Deidara, and Sasori."
"Okay..."
He knocked on the door and a voice called,
"Hidan, I don't care if your washing machine isn't going to be fixed till tomorrow, I'm not washing your blood stained clothes!"
"You know, Deidara, I'm just-I'm just gonna pretend like I never heard that."
"Oh my, Kami! It's Sasuke, Sasori!" The door whipped open and Sasuke was pulled into a hug. The blond haired man was dressed in a pair of jeans and a very colorful shirt. The condo was a mess, covered in wood shaving, and black spots. Many of which had holes in them.
The man I thought to be Sasori, had vibrant red hair, he wore no shirt, and had a very interesting torso. He was sitting on the couch, but had turned to look at us.
Deidara seemed more like an Aunt than an Uncle. We were pulled in, or Sasuke was pulled in, and he dragged me along.
"If I had known you were coming, I would have cleaned up!"
"I planned a week in advance. And anyway, you and I both know this is clean." They laughed and Sasori slowly got up from the couch, I knew he was trying to run away from the mayhem. His blank face told no story, but his body language said it all.
"No you don't, Sasori!" Deidara call behind him without even looking,
"Sasuke doesn't come often, and anyway, he brought a friend." Sasuke coughed and scratched his head, looking in my direction.
"Oh, so your the guy. Huh? The guy that made our little Sasuke see what so many of us have tried." I opened my mouth to say something, but all that came out was.
"Mm-hmm." He tilted his head and smiled, taking a step closer.
"You break his heart, I blow all the shit you ever had, have, and will get, up." He whispered, my eyes widened thinking of all the blown up stuff.
"Don't threaten him!" Sasuke laughed, he grabbed Deidara's arm, and began to walk in the other direction. While Deidara made blowing up hand motions, and mouthed the word 'Bang'. Sasori waved me into the kitchen.
He looked up and blinked a few times.
"Don't listen to Deidara, he's all talk, no action."
"Your place begs to differ."
"It does doesn't it." He scoffed.
"I love Deidara, I really do, but he's a little prick sometimes. Now let me tell you how the rest of your day's gonna go down: They're gonna chat like little girls in there for another hour, then your gonna leave. Sasuke's gonna take you to see Tobi, whose a total loon, then Zetsu, who isn't much better. During both hours, 'cause you gonna spend an hour each there, too, you need to sit there and shut up. Then you'll be dragged into Pein and Konan's place. You'll need to talk a bit with Konan, because she's gonna be the only one who doesn't welcome you in with wide arms of love. But Pein will most likely be disscusing the buiness's high and low points over the year. From there he's gonna take you to the final stop, his older brother, after they freak you out a bit, for of course, an hour, we're all gonna meet in the dinner hall. And eat dinner, where some real shit's gonna go down, usually Hidan starts it. But Janet finishes it. You'll leave, and if he's horny enough, get laid. That's what's gonna happen."
His face made no expressions, but something told me he was totally right.
"How do you-no-What makes you think this is what's gonna happen?"
"Sasuke begins to become a predictable person. Everyone else here is to crazy to understand, but I know. And I know everyone here's personality. And I'll tell you right now, that's how it's gonna go down. When you shut up and pay attention, and if no one pays attention to you unless they want something, you'll figure out how the moon got round. Okay kid?"
I nodded.
"Just a few more things, I didn't talk to you just now, I know I, along with everyone else, has a tracking device in their stomach, and if we walk into the living room and sit down, it'll seem like we were there the whole time."
I just nodded again. This guy really knew what he was talking about. We snuck back into the living room.
-:-
I did everything he said. And the day went exactly like he'd told me. Now if was time for the dinner hall meal, and if everything was gonna go according to plan, Hidan was gonna start something that Janet would have to end.
The things I'd learned over the day: Zetsu was an over protective cannibal. Tobi was not a good boy, despite how many times he said it. Itachi couldn't keep his hands off Kisame, or Kisame's cock. Kisame had no control over the lower half of his body when Itachi got a hold of him, and going to the bathroom alone is a big mistake if you have a black light. That thing lit up like a rich person's Christmas Tree. Itachi keeps a black light in his bathroom. And that Pein and Konan work very hard to keep the company, and all the leaders in check. And that any sane person would have got up and left from that hell hole. How Sasori puts up with those people is a mystery to me.
I also learned that besides Pein and Konan being pretty much the boss of everyone, well mostly Pein, Kisame and Itachi were in charge advertising. Tobi was in charge of staff. Zetsu was in charge of Distribution. Kakuzu was Tresurer, and Hidan helped him. And finally Deidara and Sasori were in charge of Graphic Design and Craft.
It was pretty cool how they all worked together to make the company work efficiently.
And when we got to the elevator, alone while Itachi and Kisame were getting dressed for dinner, I looked at Sasuke and said,
"If it wasn't for the fact that I love you Sasuke, I think I would have killed myself meeting your...'Family'." He smiled and kissed my cheek.
"I'm so glad you like them! I think they all like you. I know Deidara does, and Tobi...and hopfully Hidain."
"What about Zetsu!?" I screeched,
"Oh calm down. He likes you, too." I exhaled sharply.
"I think just about everyone likes you...except Konan. But she'll get used to your face. She doesn't really like anyone..." He shook his head and I smiled again.
"Like I said," I tilted his head in my direction,
"I love you, and if getting through them is what I have to do to keep you," I kissed him,
"I'll do it." The elevator opened and there was Kakuzu with his paper.
"Don't mind me, just passing along." We walked out silently, and as soon as the elevator door shut Sasuke started laughing. I looked at him,
"What's so funny?!"
"You should have seen your face! You should see it now! It's beat red!" Janet joined in, I sighed giving up. When was dinner so Hidan could throw a bitch fit and get us outta here.
Like I said, deep thought and consideration into these people. haha. And you know Of course Sasori would notice everything, because he's so quiet! He knows a lot...
Edit: Dammit, I screwed up so much shit. I had to go back anc fix it
Spolier Alert! :You know, I think Tobi was always saying "Tobi is a good boy" you know, talking in 3rd person, referring to himself as a 'good boy' because Madara, who he REALLY was, wasn't a good boy at all...