Compulsive Noties!
Finally! It's now nearly 9 and I've been working on this chapter since 5! It probably took so long because I had to do some research on a few things. RESEARCH FOR THIS STORY! I'M DEDICATED!! lol Anyways, we're coming to the last leg. I think there will be two more chapters? I don't know...only a few. Depends. I already have the last few lines written somewhere on my computer. Anyways, forget the depressingness, I was writing half of this chapter with the midget(my 'little brother') in my room. xD But yeah. This one's a bit longer. And does anyone know who Juugo is? Appearently he can be paired with Suigetsu. Hmm. Anyhoo story:
OHYEAH! and go here and just stay on the homepage and listen to the playlist, about 80% of the songs will match the mood of this chapter.
Inside I was broken somewhere. I couldn't feel anything. Everything was dead, every emotional nerve ending...every sense useless without emotions. So when I told Sasuke to kiss me, I didn't want him to kiss me, I wanted him to wake me up. How was I ever to love him if I could feel nothing? Love is an emotion too, without it, Sasuke and me couldn't be. That's what would only make sense. Right? So when he pressed his lips against mine, I felt it all. All at once. The pain of being emotionally numb, the joy of having someone like Sasuke, the sympathy I felt for Suigetsu, the sadness of the thought of being alone, everything.
The fact of the matter was, Suigetsu's never ending love was there. All the hurt he felt was put in that kiss. And the second his lips touched mine, in an act to conserve any feelings I had for him, a useless attempt, instead of waking anything up, it killed me. It killed me because the person I didn't love, who did love me was embracing the love that never was. And it was a terrible feeling knowing your causing such heartbreak, such pain, even to someone you don't care much about. Well. It's a killing feeling. And that's what he did, he killed me, emotionally.
The warm tears streaming down my face made Sasuke break the kiss.
"What is it, Naruto?"
"He did more damage than I can say."
"Who?" I pulled him into an embrace.
"Sasuke, I've never loved anything in my life as much as I've loved you. After years of failing in love, it's nice to know I have you to hold on to. It's nice to know that when you die inside, something can still be alive enough to be woken up by love. By your love." He snuggled into my neck,
"It's nice to know that I am loved by someone like you." The words should have made me happy, but it only made me think of Suigetsu.
'Love him like you could never love me.'
I fully intended to.
-:-
A knock arose my my door that morning. I went to go answer it, and when I opened the door, there was Itachi, with a fashion pose, behind him a scenery of sunshine and warmth.
"Itachi-san? What are you doing at my door step at seven AM? And how did you get my address? And for the love of Kami, will you get your ass inside your scaring my neighbors!" He sauntered in and slammed the door.
"Let's just say I did a few things Sasuke and Kisame wouldn't be proud of." I grimaced at the thought.
"Just be quiet, Sasuke's still sleeping. And we all know he's not a morning person." He scoff/laughed, and sat down on the couch.
"It's mid-day, and look at you, your not even decent!" He gestured to my lack of clothing, and kept smile hung on his lips.
"It was a long night." His smile turned wicked as he winked.
"Oh really now?"
"Not like that...it was a more...an emotional night than a physical one, you know?" His lips curled into a frownish look.
"Well you two are boring. Kisame and I were going at it like-"
"Ha-ba-bub!" I interrupted as a way of telling him TMI.
"Well I'll tell you why I'm here: So we were going out to lunch, Kisame and I, to meet up with our friend Karin. He thought it might be a good idea to add you guys to the mix. Yes? No?"
"Sounds nice. I think we both need some time out of the house together." I thought of the last time we had been out, yesterday, and how it was unintentional.
"But what about that book store?" I picked up my phone, knowing it was Lee's lunch, and looked for the number I had recently put into my phone book. The ringing began,
"Hello? Naruto-san?"
"Yes, very good. Now me and Sasuke have plans today. He won't be in, be a doll and take over for the day."
"Hai!" I heard the click and flipped my phone shut.
"See?" He laughed, and Sasuke walked from the back room, looking at Itachi, then me. He held up two fingers, while keeping his head down,
"What do you want Itachi, and what time is it?"
"Inviting you to lunch," I finished his sentence,
"Noon." I saw him mouth the word 'fuck' and look up.
"And you cut my alarm clock off, why?"
"Don't worry I changed your store times, it doesn't even open up 'til later! And anyways, your not going, I have Lee covering it. We're going to lunch with your brother, and his boyfriend." I stood up and made my way over to him,
"Do I have no say in all this shit? I just wake up and my whole schedule's been planned out?"
"Yup. That's exactly how it works." He let out a deep pissed off sigh, and began down the hall as I slapped his ass in an attempt to hurry the walking process up. He turned around and gave me a look that said 'Don't push your luck.' And I took a step back holding a smile on my face.
-:-
We arrived at the restaurant right behind Itachi. It was a nice place. And there standing outside the building was Kisame, and a red headed woman a head smaller than him. Her black rimed glasses made it hard to see her red eyes, and her hair style was one I could not put words to.
We parked next to them and came out. Sasuke adjusted his gym shorts, me having ran out of clean pants to let him borrow, because that had fallen to low. Itachi came over to Kisame's side and gave him a kiss that we all knew Kisame had expected to be a peck. But Itachi wouldn't let it be that little. And after five minutes of them making out Itachi let out a satisfactory sigh, and we assumed it was time to go on to introductions. I held out my hand and stated my name, she shook it and stated hers. Sasuke did the same, only her hand shot down to his crotch, where she proceded to fish around. Sasuke just stood there making a face of utter shock, that matched quiet well to one of a fish with an open mouth.
"Itachi you were right! Wow!" She let go, and shook the hand that Sasuke had unintentionally left out.
"Nice to meet you, too Sasuke!" She smiled an innocent smile, as if she haddn't just groped him, and I busted out laughing hysterically, partly at the thought, and also at the face Sasuke hadn't managed not to let go of. I placed my hand on her shoulder and began to walk,
"You just fondled my boyfriend!" I laughed out,
"I like you." We both laughed and I looked back to make sure Sasuke was following. He looked at me and flipped me off. I laughed again.
When we were seated at the yellow table, outside, Sasuke sat next to me, and on the other side was Karin. Across from me was Itachi and next to him was Kisame, an empty chair next to him on the final edge of the rectangular table. And after a fifteen minute wait, our food arrived. The conversation had to many topics to write down, and phasing in an out would have not only gotten you lost, but it would have you thinking 'My Kami, these people have sick minds!' About mid-way through the meal I realized I had to go to the bathroom.
"Excuse me." I said setting my fork down and scooting back, Sasuke grabbed at my arm,
"Please don't leave me alone with these people." He whispered in my ear, I just chuckled and promised him I'd be back. Returning from the bathroom a man stopped me.
"Are you Naruto? Naruto, Uzumaki?" I nodded, and felt a hand go hard and fast across my face.
"D-Did you just slap me?"
"Your damn right I did." I looked upon the stanger with confused eyes. His face covered in anger.
"Um, gentlemen if your going to fight please go outside." I looked at him, then at the manager,
"Oh, sorry." He flatly lied, then grabbed my hair and pulled me to the front of the building. When he let go I turned to him and decided to flip my lid.
"Who the hell are you and what right do you have to treat me this way!?" I yelled.
"My name is Juugo. And I'll tell you what right I have, remember Suigetsu?" Oh Kami...
"Yeah, well I'm his current boyfriend. And your are currently ruining my life."
"Listen, I don't want him in my life! He knows that, you can have him, I really don't care." He began pacing, and biting his lip.
"Trust me I know you don't. What you don't understand is that he loves you. He fucking loves you. Do you know what that's like, Uzumaki? To be in love with someone who uses your body as an outlet? Who uses you like a doll, or a comfort object instead of a lover? He doesn't love me. He holds me at night pretending it's you. He kisses me with his eyes closed because in his head I'm you. When...when we 'make love' he doesn't even try to cover it up, he just yells out your name. Afterward he'll apologizes half heartedly. But that's all it ever is. Is a half hearted love. When he holds my hand, he won't ever look at me. He wont even look into my eyes anymore. He won't even look into my eyes! He asked me to dye my hair once..." I stood there in taking everything he spat out, while he paced like a mad man. He gripped his head, and let out an aggravated cry, before grabbing the collar of my shirt.
"And it's all your fault. All the pain and misery we're both in, it's all your fault! For once I want to kiss the man I love with his eyes closed because he wants to savor the moment with me. Not imagine he's kissing someone else! Just once..." Tears were streaming down his face as he searched my eyes for something I obviously wasn't giving him,
"I should kill you right now! I would! I really would if it weren't for the fact that I almost got caught last time. And that Suigetsu loves you. He loves you!" He screamed again, and punched me across the face.
"I hope your face fucking bruises, you fucking prick." He walked off and I stood there. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone to come. Waiting for anything. Through the glass I saw Sasuke entering the building from the back, and heading to the bathroom, clearly in seach of me. But I wasn't there. And in a moment, I wouldn't be here either. I looked around and ran to my car. Starting it, I hit the dash board, tears now burning my face. I had to get away, I loved Sasuke, but there was to much pressure, to much guilt to see his face right now. It wasn't his fault, but I needed to leave. I needed to leave this building, leave this parking lot, needed to leave this town. I needed to go back where we first met. Confront this problem head on. I needed to go.
Yes, yes I know 'WHAT THE FUCK COMPULSIVE! FIRST KARIN NOW THIS!?' Well Karin's not really important, I just needed a reason for them to be at the Restaurant, and plus, haven't you ever wanted to just grab one of your guy friend's crotches? Just to feel around? I know I have. xD